Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
It was quiet.
Too quiet.
Lacey looked around her small apartment, her eyes snagging on Bridger where he sat on the couch watching Saturday morning cartoons. Even with the television on, it felt like the silence was crushing her.
Bridger clung to one of the many stuffed animals Mack had given him.
He had only asked about Mack a couple times since that morning Mack stopped by with breakfast. Lacey could tell that he wanted more information.
His young mind was likely whirling with everything that had happened over the last couple of months.
And he looked about as sad as she felt. It had taken a lot of energy for Lacey to hide just how lonely she’d been feeling lately.
Despite her relationship with Angela being on the mend, her sister wasn’t hanging around as much. The shop had a soft opening today, and the grand opening was next week. Angela was understandably busy.
Mack wasn’t coming around for obvious reasons.
And Lacey’s heart was struggling to keep up a happy beat. She rubbed her arms up and down, even though there wasn’t a chill in the air. She’d lost count of how many times she’d wanted to call him, to tell him she was wrong, and she wanted him in her life no matter what his past was.
But was that true?
She cared for him. And she adored the way he was with Bridger. He’d done nothing but show her that he was a good man. And yet she couldn’t shake the fear that gripped her throat. It closed off her airways to the point of leaving her breathless.
Just thinking about being caught spending time with him sent her back to a time when she’d been a teenager—when she’d sat in front of her parents and told them about the biggest mistake of her life.
Tears prickled behind her eyes. At the time, she’d been distraught. One mistake. One night with her boyfriend had turned her life upside down. Lacey pressed her lashes together and turned away from Bridger so he wouldn’t notice her mood.
How could she say that night was the biggest mistake of her life when it had given her Bridger? He was the light in the darkness and the person that made her want to keep moving forward. Every choice she’d made after having him had been to ensure he would have everything he needed.
Up until a few weeks ago, she’d been perfectly content to live her life in such a way that prioritized him above all else.
Mack’s face flashed in her mind, and her heart lurched.
Up until a few weeks ago, she hadn’t wanted to be selfish.
His smile sent her stomach reeling and her pulse racing.
Up until a few weeks ago, she hadn’t realized that she was ready to find love.
The first hot tear slid down her cheek, dragging against her skin and making it itch. Walking away from Mack had been more devastating than she could have ever prepared herself for. How on earth had she allowed him to get past her defenses so quickly?
“Mom?”
She stiffened and brushed at the tear on her cheek. “Yes, sweetie?”
“Is Mack coming over today?”
Lacey turned and faced her son, not surprised in the least that he was staring up at her with his bright, curious eyes. She didn’t miss the hope that shined there, and it made her whole body ache. Already, she knew he would be disappointed when she told him the answer.
There would be no avoiding this question. She had to tell him the truth, otherwise he’d keep asking.
Slowly, she moved toward him, tugged only by the desire to protect him. Rip off the Band-Aid. That was what she needed to do. She needed to make sure Bridger knew he was loved and that sometimes things didn’t work out the way he wanted them to.
Lacey swallowed back the emotion that threatened to overflow yet again.
“Honey, Mack… well, he’s not going to be coming around anymore.”
Bridger’s brows creased, and he frowned. “Why?”
That was the question she’d dreaded answering. Simply telling him that she’d told Mack to stay away would only bring on more questions. And yet she couldn’t think of any other way to phrase it that wouldn’t be an outright lie.
The words tasted bitter on her tongue. “Mack isn’t coming around anymore because…” She swallowed hard. Maybe she could try a different route. She feathered her fingers through his hair then pulled him close. “Do you remember when you got in a fight with Jonny at school?”
Bridger’s frown deepened.
“And Jonny wanted to play with Calvin instead?” It wasn’t a perfect analogy, but it would have to do.
Even though Mack thought he wasn’t going to move on, he would eventually.
The thought broke her heart more than she cared to admit, and she tugged Bridger onto her lap so she didn’t have to look him in the eye. “It’s sorta like that.”
Her son squirmed in her lap. “Mack doesn’t like us anymore?”
Lacey grimaced. “Of course he does. He just… he’s going to spend time with other people.”
“That doesn’t make sense. I didn’t hear you guys fight.”
She flinched.
He shifted in her lap and turned so he could look her in the eye. “If you guys got in a fight, then you just need to say sorry and fix it.”
Lacey wanted to bawl right there. She wanted to let out all her emotion and hug him for his innocence. “It’s not that easy,” she murmured, voice cracking.
“Yeah, it is. You just say you’re sorry.”
She shook her head, a sad smile on her face. “Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to. There’s nothing we can do to fix it… that’s just how it is. Mack has his own family, his own life, and he’s going to be spending time with them. We have our life, and we’ll just go back to?—”
“I don’t want to go back,” he blustered. “I want to play with Mack and see his horses and spend time with Uncle Caleb.” His voice was sharp and unyielding. If there was any hint that he’d found a kinship with Mack, this reaction was it.
Lacey framed his face with her hands, and a tear escaped unbidden. “You can still spend time with Uncle Caleb. And I’m sure you can still go for rides. Caleb and Mack work at the same ranch. You’ll be able to say hi to him?—”
“It won’t be the same. I want him to visit. I want to have movie nights.”
“I know, honey,” she whispered, broken.
“It’s not fair!” he snapped, climbing down from her lap and yanking his gorilla into his arms. “This is your fault. You got in a fight with him, and you won’t make up.”
Bridger’s words stung. They were a dagger to her heart, and the worst part was that he was right. She’d pushed Mack away. It didn’t matter that it was for good reason. It didn’t even matter that she regretted it.
The truth of the matter was that she couldn’t risk their future.
This was the first time her mother had anything to disapprove of since Lacey’d gotten custody, and that fact terrified her more than anything.
She wanted to believe that her mother wouldn’t be so selfish to tear Bridger from his home over Lacey’s interest in dating Mack—but she couldn’t be one hundred percent certain.
She watched Bridger stalk off to the bedroom and flinched when he slammed the door. They were both miserable without Mack in their lives. It was clear to see that fact above all else. Bridger was young, though. He was resilient. He’d get through this bump in the road.
Lacey leaned over and placed her elbows on her knees, her head in her hands.
She cursed the day they’d gone to the salon.
She wished she’d never gone. If she could go back in time, she might have even told Mack to steer clear of town.
If her mother hadn’t overheard anything about Mack, then maybe they wouldn’t be in this situation.
She snorted a derisive laugh.
Of course she would be. She’d heard the rumors.
Mack might have a kid out there somewhere—a kid he had abandoned when he was a teen.
She hadn’t been able to bear the thought that he might have done such a thing, which was why she hadn’t been able to ask him.
With everything she’d done to fight for Bridger, there was no way she’d be able to look past it if he had.
So, she’d ignored that part of the conversation and refused to ask Mack about it.
No. It was better this way. Right now, he could still be the good man she’d started to fall in love with. And if she was broken hearted over losing him, she could blame herself. She could let Bridger blame her.
Bridger bounced in his seat in the back of the car. “Do you think we’ll see Mack?”
She glanced at him through the rearview mirror overhead. He’d been fidgety ever since she’d told him they were going to visit Sammie and Caleb.
Of course, Bridger would immediately think about Mack and being able to spend time with him. There would be no stopping him if he saw the man. Bridger would likely charge right up to the cowboy and give him a hug.
Lacey wasn’t sure she would be able to handle it if he did, and yet she was still pulling onto the property. Bridger had needed to get out of the house. Thankfully, this trip was enough to bring a smile to his face.
She couldn’t help searching for the familiar figure among the other cowboys, and she couldn’t tell if she was relieved or disappointed when she didn’t see him.
It was for the best. She had to remind herself of that fact constantly.
If she didn’t, then she might cave and do something that she would really regret.
Taking Bridger’s hand in hers, she moved toward the front door of the new house where Sammie and Caleb now lived. Before she could knock on the door, it swung open, and standing before her was Mack himself.
Bridger lit up like a Christmas tree. He jumped into Mack’s arms with a shout, and all Lacey could do was stand back and watch like it wasn’t tearing a new hole in her heart.