Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“Please tell me I’m not going crazy.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Olivia laughed. The sound of baby chatter emanated from the speaker. Some kind of cartoon or children’s music played as well. Happy chaos. That was what it sounded like.
Something deep inside Wendy ached for it. She could feel her soul craving that kind of happiness. And there was only one person she wanted to find it with.
Wendy groaned and placed a palm to her forehead. She was in too deep. That much was clear. She hadn’t realized just how bad it had become until she noticed the way Lydia had continued to look at Tripp like he was her entire world.
Wendy had hated it.
She could still feel the heat from her latent jealousy sizzling in her veins. This wasn’t like her.
“Earth to Wendy. What’s going on?” Now Olivia sounded concerned. She’d even moved from the room where she’d been when she answered the phone because the background noise was now nonexistent.
Wendy paced her small kitchen, chewing on her thumbnail.
How much should she tell her friend? Olivia had said that she didn’t mind if something happened with Tripp.
But then, Wendy wasn’t sure she could trust her friend to tell the truth.
They weren’t living in the same area. She hadn’t been able to read Olivia’s expression when she’d said as much.
“Sweetie, talk to me. What happened. Is it Tripp?”
Her pacing stalled and it felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over her whole body. “What?”
“It is, isn’t it?”
Wendy shut her eyes tight, blushing even though no one was there to witness her mortification.
This wasn’t how she wanted things to go.
She’d made it clear not only to Tripp but herself that there was no chance of something happening between them.
They could be friends—albeit with additional benefits. Nothing more.
Except she wasn’t sure she wanted that anymore.
“How did you know?” she asked weakly.
Olivia laughed. “Because the only times you’ve been calling me lately are to talk about him. You realize I might have post pregnancy brain, but I’m not a complete idiot, right?”
Another groan.
And another laugh.
“Okay, so spill it. What’s happening with Tripp. He’s not overstepping, is he? Or is he not overstepping enough?”
“You really need to stop being so insightful,” Wendy muttered.
Olivia giggled. “Boy, I didn’t realize how much I missed the boy talk until after I got married and we stopped doing it.”
“To be fair, the boy talk was usually you talking and me listening,” Wendy huffed, opting to collapse onto the couch rather than resume her pacing.
“True. But back then, you were busy with setting up the antique shop and didn’t have much time to go seeking love.”
Wendy scoffed. “Love? That’s definitely not what this is.”
“Really?” Olivia’s voice was skeptical. “Doesn’t sound like it.”
“Yeah? Pray tell, what does this sound like?”
Olivia didn’t speak right away. The silence between them stretched until Wendy wasn’t sure she could take it anymore. She nearly burst from the anticipation. Then finally, Olivia sighed. “It feels like you’re stranded.”
Wendy frowned. How was she supposed to take that assessment? What exactly did that mean? Thankfully, her friend didn’t make her wait as long this time to explain herself.
“It feels like…” Olivia hummed to herself. “I bet it feels like you’re stuck in the middle of the ocean drifting with a life raft. Aimless. That you were stuck on a large boat with lots of people and yet you felt so alone that you jumped.”
Chills racked through Wendy’s body and her hands started to tremble. That description was almost eerie.
“But then another boat comes along and maybe there’s someone offering to pull you up.
But you’re scared. You don’t want to get into another boat only to feel like you might end up right back in the water.
You can’t tell if this boat will be any different than where you were before. So, you just keep floating there.”
Wendy didn’t realize a tear had slid down her cheek until it slipped off the edge of her jaw and landed on her hands. “Wow.”
Olivia let out a quiet chuckle. “I know, right? I think I got this, like, new mom superpower.” She waited for another moment. “I think you’re dealing with something you’ve never dealt with before. I can’t remember you liking a guy enough for it to disrupt your life to this extent.”
She was absolutely right.
“So, this is about Tripp? Do you have feelings for him?”
“Maybe?” Wendy hedged.
“So what’s the problem?”
This was it. The moment of truth. The time when she’d have to admit to her friend her fears. “What if we start dating and he gets tired of me?”
“Wendy,” Olivia breathed with what could only be pity.
“Don’t,” Wendy interrupted her before she could speak again. “This isn’t about me. I promise. This is about Tripp. We both know he has a reputation for dating a lot of different girls.”
“Had.”
“What?”
“Had. He had a reputation. But let me ask you this. Have you seen any evidence of him dating a lot recently? I mean, I’m not there, so I can’t say I see what the two of you have—”
“We don’t have anything—” Wendy started.
“Oh, whatever. I know you do. Otherwise, this wouldn’t be an issue. He’s gotten to you even though you didn’t want him to. Anyway, like I was saying. How much time do you two spend together?”
Wendy chewed on her lower lip. “A lot, actually.”
“Okay, good. So you spend time together. Does he make excuses when you want to hang out with him?”
“No,” Wendy hedged. “He’s always available.”
“Then let me ask you something else. Is it possible that he’s changed? People mature and grow up all the time. What if he’s ready for something serious? Don’t you think it’s possible for him to realize he wants to settle down? And maybe he’d like to settle down with you.”
Wendy didn’t dare hope to go that far. But Olivia had made several good points.
Tripp might have told her that she’d eventually fall in love with him to tease her or make her uncomfortable, but it was also possible that he’d brought it up several times because he might be developing feelings for her, too.
She swallowed hard. “So what now?”
“What do you mean, what now? Now is the time to give him a chance. Now is the time to sit down and tell him what you want. Talk to him.”
“And if he doesn’t want the same thing?” Wendy’s stomach churned painfully at that notion. She didn’t want to have to look into his eyes when he inevitably turned her down and told her he wasn’t ready for anything serious.
“What do you have to lose? Honestly, Wendy. What you have now is a friendship, right? Sure that friendship might become strained, but maybe it won’t. I can tell you this much, though. If you never try, then you’ll never get it. We miss out on one hundred percent of the shots we don’t take.”
Wendy rolled her eyes. “I think you’re right.”
“I know I am.”
“No, I think you’re right that motherhood has changed you. That last one was a little corny.”
“Hey,” Olivia huffed with a laugh. “Be nice.”
Wendy laughed along with her. “I guess you made a couple good points, though. I’m not doing myself any favors by sitting back and not doing anything. Besides, I’ve been holding back a long time already. If I wait too long, he’s going to move on anyway.”
“Exactly. You can’t expect him to hold out for you forever. I mean, you’re amazing and definitely worth the wait, but guys don’t have the best attention spans.”
They both giggled before the conversation shifted to other topics.
Wendy was going to have to dig up the courage to put her heart on the line. It would be terrifying to say the least. She already knew that. But the best things in life sometimes required a person to go out of their comfort zone.
“I’m so glad you agreed to lunch. You’ve been so busy lately, I feel like we haven’t seen each other in forever.” Hallie gave Wendy a pointed look.
Wendy ducked her head, biting back a smile. She was certain that Hallie knew the reason Wendy had been busy lately. The antique shop business hadn’t changed. The only variable was a certain guy who refused to leave Wendy alone.
“So… are you going to tell me? Or do I have to give you the third degree?”
Wendy blushed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Liar,” Hallie crowed. “You’re such a big, fat liar. I’m pretty sure every single person at my family’s ranch is aware that Tripp isn’t exactly dating around anymore. When he’s not working, he’s hanging out with you. Admit it.”
Shrugging, Wendy flashed her friend a smile. “I can’t account for every hour of every day. We hang out a lot, yes. And we’re not dating.”
“Right,” Hallie drawled. “And I don’t attend every single rodeo for a chance to ‘hang out’ with Jacob.”
Wendy stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and pointed at her friend. “I knew you liked him.”
Hallie rolled her eyes. “Everyone knows that.” She frowned and tapped her chin with her finger. “Except maybe Jacob. I used to think he knew, but honestly, I can’t tell. We’re just…” She sighed with resignation. “Friends.”
Wendy winced. She was really beginning to resent that title for her own relationship with Tripp. But she had no one to blame but herself. She’d insisted they needed to remain friends.
“Yeah,” Hallie murmured, apparently noticing Wendy’s reaction. “Exactly.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” Her friend attempted to keep her voice light, but it was clear she was struggling with her feelings for Jacob.
Wendy wanted to tell her it would work out, but she didn’t have a leg to stand on. Right now, she was shaking in her boots just thinking about telling Tripp that she’d changed her mind about their relationship status.
“Enough about me. Tell me about you and my cousin. Please tell me that you and Tripp are finally official. You have to be, with the way things are going.”
She couldn’t confirm something that wasn’t true. So she shrugged.
“Wendy.” Hallie’s voice was sing-song and full of teasing. “Let me live vicariously through you. Please.” She tugged on Wendy’s hand.
“Fine,” Wendy said with exasperation. “We’re not official, but that might change.”
Hallie gasped. “When?”
She shrugged again.
“When?”
Wendy blushed deeply. “We haven’t talked about crossing that line recently. Maybe I’ll say something the next time I see him.”
Disappointment flickered in Hallie’s eyes. Her lower lip puckered into a pout. “You’re no fun. Maybe? Seriously?”
“Yes, maybe.”
Her friend’s focus flickered to the side and immediately her pout disappeared. “Okay, well here’s your chance. He’s right over there.”
Wendy jumped and spun around to find Tripp heading down the sidewalk on the other side of the street. She wasn’t sure how long he’d been over there. Chances were slim he hadn’t seen them otherwise he would have come to talk to them.
Right?
Right.
He’d given her no indication that he wouldn’t. Tripp had done more than enough to prove that he was interested. Maybe Hallie was right. Here was Wendy’s chance to tell Tripp how she felt.
Hallie gave her a little shove forward. “Go on. I’ll get our table.
” They were now standing in front of the restaurant.
And Tripp was ducking into the coffee shop down the street.
If she hurried, Wendy would be able to catch him and talk to him.
If nothing else, she could tell him that she wanted to see him later so they could have the talk.
She swallowed the lump in her throat as she shuffled forward. Hallie gave her another push. “Okay. Fine. I’m going.” Wendy said with a laugh. “I’ll be right back.”
Wendy hurried down the street repeating in her head over and over what she would tell Tripp. She wanted exclusivity. Strings. Everything he had to offer. Her legs felt weak and the way her heart hammered, she was surprised she wasn’t collapsing on the sidewalk.
Passing the shop windows, she caught sight of her reflection and straightened her shoulders. She could do this. In every romance novel she read, this was the moment when everything changed for the better. And she couldn’t wait to take hold of the reins and enjoy the ride.
Then she saw it. Just before she reached the glass door.
Her heart shattered because through the large windows, Tripp was caught up in an embrace that could only be described as romantic.
The woman was nothing like Wendy. She had long, black hair, legs for days, and the largest eyes Wendy had ever seen.
Her full lips pulled into a smile as she pulled away from Tripp and gestured for him to take a seat at the table where two coffees were waiting.
Wendy couldn’t move. It was like watching a trainwreck. And the only thing she could say was that this was all her fault. She’d told Tripp over and over that she didn’t want more. She’d pushed him away, teased him, taunted him. Of course he’d get tired of the way she treated him. Who wouldn’t?
How could she be such a fool? She’d allowed him to get past her defenses despite her better judgment. And she’d lost her chance.
Suddenly, she felt sick to her stomach. At least she’d seen him with someone else and she hadn’t made a fool of herself by asking him to settle.
She couldn’t even be mad at him, because he wasn’t doing anything wrong.
She’d given him the freedom to see other people, so why wouldn’t he take advantage of it?
Wendy darted down the sidewalk the way she’d come.
Tears fell down her cheeks and by the time she got to the restaurant, she knew she wouldn’t be able to sit down and eat with Hallie.
So she pulled out her phone and sent off a message, telling her friend she’d need a raincheck.
Then she shut off her phone and headed home.