16. James
JAMES
I glanced at her sideways—somehow unsettled—before I focused back on the road to home. We hadn’t talked since making love, hadn’t talked about what it meant. Instead, we’d spent the night at that little apartment in the barn, making love over and over again, until we fell asleep out of pure exhaustion.
We’d had breakfast at Jessie and Alan’s, Jessie’s waggling eyebrows the only indication that our little escape hadn’t gone unnoticed.
Damn. I should’ve thought that through. Should’ve thought about what picture we were painting.
Erin would’ve had a tough enough time gaining the trust—as a nurse—in our small community as it was. And I—us—would make things much more difficult.
I didn’t like double standards in anything. But I wasn’t na?ve enough to think people wouldn’t judge her much more harshly than they would me.
I should’ve kept my cock in my pants and courted her like she deserved.
She had a contract with the town, which made her basically my subordinate and me her boss.
You never mix work and pleasure. It was the golden rule I’d been following for years. No morally gray area there. Just plain black and white. Only, since Erin came into my life, it suddenly all turned into technicolor.
“Daddy, can we go swimming?”
I looked through the rearview mirror at Abby, who practically bounced in her booster seat.
“Of course, skittles.” At least it was only Saturday today, so I had the entire weekend off to spend with my girls. And Erin.
“Will Erin come with us?” Marley said.
Erin turned in her seat. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but I didn’t bring a swimsuit. Otherwise, I’d love to go swimming with you,” she said, turned back, and avoided looking at me.
I dialed before she could say another word, and Lisa picked up on the first ring. “James?”
“Hey, do you or Claire have a swimsuit Erin could borrow?”
Erin lowered her brows and shook her head.
“Sure.”
“Great, we’ll swing by in a minute.” I ended the call and grinned. Though I wiped that grin off my face as soon as I glanced at her before focusing back on the road. “What?”
She shook her head. “I don’t appreciate you managing my life.”
I scoffed. This was hardly managing her life.
“You needed a swimsuit. I made it happen. Nothing more, nothing less.”
She looked out of her side window but said nothing, which was completely unnerving.
When we reached the parking lot of the Moon Lake Inn, Lisa was already waiting for us even though it had started snowing.
I made a U-turn, and Erin lowered her window.
"Good morning." Lisa leaned inside, bringing a gust of cold air with her. She rubbed her gloved hands together. "Hey, girlies. Must be nice having that heated pool on a day like this."
Marley and Ally giggled and nodded.
“Hey.” She handed Erin a small bag. “I hope it fits, but I think we’re almost the same size.”
Erin smiled. “Thank you.”
“No problem. Have a nice day,” she said and knocked on the side of the car and straightened.
She didn’t look sheepish or anything, which I was thankful for.
This was why I loved Moon Lake. Why I would never move away, at least not as long as Marley and Ally were growing up. I loved the community, the people in my circle of friends. Of course, the broader population of Moon Lake would be a different story. The rumor mill alone was a beast.
But even though news traveled fast, most people weren’t overtly mean about it, just immensely curious.
We drove home, got changed, and met up in the living room. The girls grabbed Erin’s hands and pulled her to the corridor that led to the poolroom. They waited until I opened the door, which was our golden rule. No swimming alone.
The floor-to-ceiling windows showed the falling snow outside, creating a magical contrast with the steamy warmth inside. Christmas lights reflected off the water's surface, casting dancing patterns across the walls.
This was another one of the perks of this house and another reason I was reluctant to let it go.
I handed Erin a towel from the stack, and when she dropped her robe, I almost swallowed my tongue. The royal-blue two-piece didn't leave much for the imagination, but at the same time, somehow enhanced her slim lines and gorgeous breasts. Breasts I’d kissed and fondled last night.
And I wanted to do it again.
Every night.
"Let's go!" Abby screamed, and they ran toward the pool steps, their excited voices echoing off the glass walls.
Erin and I followed.
“Is everything okay?” I asked her.
“Maybe it was a mistake.”
“A mistake?”
“Last night. I usually don’t have sex with someone I hardly know.”
I nodded.
“It feels like a mistake.”
I nodded again. Not that I agreed, but I could see where she was coming from.
“Will you say something?” she said when I kept my mouth shut.
“I don’t know what to say. I understand where you’re coming from, and ultimately, it’s your decision…”
“But?”
“No, but.” There was a but. But it was for entirely selfish reasons. Reasons like I wanted her, and I wasn’t ready to let her go again—now that I’d tasted her, now that every fiber in my body screamed that she was mine.
But despite all those reasons, I couldn’t be selfish. It wasn’t fair on her.
With all that, she told me she needed this job, needed this town, just as much as Moon Lake needed her—according to Alan.
Me wanting her couldn’t interfere with all that.
“Let’s just cool it down a little,” she added and gave a curt nod. She looked like she meant it, too.
I nodded even though everything inside of me rebelled at the mere thought.
But it was the right thing to do, the smart thing to do. If she needed space, if she needed to cool things off, then that’s what we’d do.
We reached the edge of the pool, and I was grateful both kids had learned to swim early and swam like fish. It had been important for me, especially living right next to the water, even though I would never let them out of my sight anyway.
The twins jumped in, without hesitation and sprayed us with water.
Erin flinched back. "Is it warm?" she asked, then dipped her toe in tentatively.
I chuckled. "Perfect temperature. One of the perks of having an indoor pool—no shocking cold water to deal with."
I watched the snowfall and the winter wonderland backdrop to our indoor paradise and forced myself not to stare at her.
But the contrast between the misty atmosphere in the room and the winter scene outside just enhanced the intimate atmosphere.
It would be hard to maintain the distance we'd just agreed to keep, so maybe delaying it a little was okay.