Chapter 21
Elizabeth remained outside for ten minutes, doing her best to calm her nerves. Once the adrenaline and anger had faded away, she was left with feelings of guilt. The words of her aunt’s letter came back to her—how Darcy had treated young Sally with such kindness and had been sponsoring the home financially.
Why would he do that in London, yet treat Polly and Jane so disdainfully here? I simply do not understand the man.
Resolved to apologize when she could, Elizabeth made her way to Netherfield. Upon her arrival, however, she was informed by a footman that Mrs. Hurst was in the breakfast room and wished to speak with her. Surprised, she went to join her friend.
“I didn’t know you were coming down this morning, Louisa! I would have thought you would wish to stay upstairs today, to be near your husband.”
Louisa looked up from the toast she was buttering. “He is still not fully conscious, and I needed to get out of my rooms. I have been in there for far too long.”
Elizabeth was amazed at the change in her friend. Gone were the pale face, dark shadows under the eyes, and tears; in their place were pink cheeks, bright eyes, and a smile.
Elizabeth helped herself to some eggs and bacon from the sideboard, then took a seat at the table next to her friend. “What did you wish to speak to me about?”
“Charles informed me last night that he was successful in securing the special license!”
Louisa’s enthusiasm was infectious, and Elizabeth found her distress over the confrontation with Darcy melting away, eagerness taking its place.
“He has asked me to plan the wedding breakfast,” Louisa continued, “and I wanted to speak with you to begin making plans for all of Jane’s favorite dishes.”
“Oh, I can most definitely help with that! Jane has the sweetest disposition, and she will be agreeable about whatever food is placed in front of her. After living with her for almost two decades however, I have learned to recognize the signs of when she is truly enjoying her food, or if she is only eating to be polite.”
Louisa asked a footman to fetch paper, ink, and pen before continuing the conversation. “What do you recommend we serve?”
“Well, Jane prefers simplicity and elegance; she has never been overly fond of ornate, ostentatious foods. Since she seems to be in her best health in the early afternoons—and since we have the special license and are therefore not required to have the wedding between eight and noon—we could have the breakfast be a late luncheon or even an early dinner.”
Louisa nodded. “I believe my brother also would prefer a smaller group in attendance for the actual ceremony itself. Perhaps we invite people to attend a special dinner, then make the announcement of their marriage at that time, as opposed to having so many turn out for a wedding?”
“I think that sounds like an excellent idea.” Elizabeth beamed in return. “As for the food itself, since it will be later in the day, I suggest we begin with a selection of cold meats and pies as a first course. If there is time or the means, we could even include some fresh salads and fruits? I’m afraid that the Netherfield hothouse will most likely be in a terrible state, as the manor has been vacant for so long.”
“I’m sure we can easily send for some things from London,” Louisa said. “If we send an express today, supplies could arrive as quickly as tomorrow afternoon.”
“Ah, it is as they say, then. ‘Wealth has great power to purchase pleasure.’”
At her friend’s questioning look, Elizabeth said, “It is a quote from The Canterbury Tales, by Chaucer, published in the late 1300s.”
“I am not familiar with the book.”
“The tales are mostly about a group of pilgrims who are traveling from London to Canterbury, and they have a story-telling contest. The story that contains this quote is about a married woman whose husband is away on a journey. She is unwillingly pursued by another man, and she eventually makes a rash promise with him. He uses his wealth to purchase a magician’s assistance in fulfilling his part. Her husband, upon his return, tells her she must keep her word. The wealthy man, upon seeing her sorrow, releases her from the oath, and in turn, the magician forgives the large debt. In the end we are asked to consider who acted the most nobly or generously.”
As Elizabeth recounted the story, Louisa leaned forward, her mouth ajar. “That is the most magnificent story I think I’ve ever heard. How beautiful! How in heaven’s name could you determine which person was the most noble? Just when I think I’ve determined it was the husband, I then think it was the magician.”
Elizabeth smirked. “Careful now, Louisa. You wouldn’t want to turn into a bluestocking!”
Louisa laughed, then turned her attention back to the menu for the wedding breakfast. “As for the main course, what do you say to a selection of roasted fowls and joints, accompanied by an assortment of vegetables?”
“Jane adores roasted hen, along with asparagus.”
“What of the wedding cake?”
“Her favorite flavor is strawberry, but she does also enjoy lemon. Either would equally suit her.”
The two ladies then turned their attention to the guest list, which included the four-and-twenty families with whom Mrs. Bennet frequently boasted of dining. “The Lucases, of course, and the Phillips. The Gouldings, the Longs, the Robinsons, and Kings. Oh, and we mustn’t forget Mr. Jones.”
“This is quite a large group,” Louisa remarked. “I had not expected Meryton to be so populous when Charles informed us he had let an estate here.”
“Since we are on one of the larger trade roads towards London, we actually have more traffic than some other market towns. When you include Netherfield, Lucas Lodge, Longbourn, Haye Park, Stoke, Ashworth, Purvis Lodge… well, all in all, there are probably about three thousand inhabitants who consider themselves citizens of Meryton.”
Now it was Louisa’s turn to raise her eyebrows. “Poor Caroline. If only she had known; I doubt she would have been half so condescending if she’d realized she was disparaging a village three times the size of the one most frequented by Mr. Darcy when he was at his estate!”
Elizabeth giggled before asking, “How does your sister fare?”
Sighing, Louisa shook her head. “I’m sorry to say that she did not take our brother very seriously. She refused one of the options he gave her, so while he was in London, he made arrangements for her to join our aunt in Scarborough. I’m surprised we couldn’t hear her protests all the way from town!”
“Does she not get on with your aunt?”
“Let’s just say that Aunt Ethel is a very devoted Quaker.”
Elizabeth’s round eyes and expression of mock horror made Louisa laugh until she gave a very unladylike snort.
Blushing, Louisa covered her mouth. “Oh, I do beg your pardon!”
Grinning broadly, Elizabeth said, “I take it as a compliment when I can cause my friends to forget themselves in a moment of genuine joy.”
The conversation was interrupted when a maid came into the room. “Excuse me, Mrs. Hurst, but your husband has awoken and is requesting your presence.”
“Oh!” Louisa exclaimed, quickly rising to her feet. “Elizabeth, do excuse me.”
“A quick request,” Elizabeth said hastily. “Might I send a note to my aunt and uncle Gardiner on Gracechurch Street along with your express? They most likely will be unable to attend the wedding on such short notice, of course, but I would like to inform them of it all the same.”
“Certainly! Just leave the missive with Grantham.”
“Oh, and one last thing,” Elizabeth said seriously. “I believe Mr. Bingley has forgotten the most important matter of the entire affair.”
“What?” Louisa froze, her hand on the doorknob, her brow knit in concern.
“He has yet to actually request my sister’s hand in marriage!”
Louisa gaped at Elizabeth, then burst out laughing. “That is a very excellent point! I know he hasn’t actually forgotten it however. He simply hasn’t exactly had the time to do so, having only just arrived and then being caught up in finding Reggie.”
Elizabeth smiled. “Oh, I assumed as much. I couldn’t resist giving you a bit more practice in the art of sisterly teasing. You will be gaining five new sisters, after all.”
“I couldn’t imagine anything more wonderful.”
∞∞∞
Louisa entered her husband’s room, still smiling over her conversation with Elizabeth in the breakfast room. For the last several years, she had dreaded the idea of her brother marrying the type of woman their sister had envisioned. Never in her wildest imaginings did she picture so warm and welcoming a family.
“Louisa.”
She gave a startled shriek as her husband’s voice whispered her name.
“Oh, Reggie! You’re speaking!”
She flew to his bedside and sat in the chair next to him. While he had technically been conscious before, he had been unaware of his surroundings and incapable of forming complete thoughts or recognizing the people who were with him.
He lay propped up with pillows, his appearance markedly altered by the ordeal of the accident. The bandages were wrapped tightly around his head, and deep lines etched his brow. He cleared his throat, the sound frail compared to his typical booming voice.
“Louisa,” he began again, his voice a mere whisper, betraying the turmoil within. “How long… how long have I been asleep?”
“Only a day,” she assured him. “Do you remember what happened?”
His eyes flickered down to her waist, and she unconsciously pressed a hand to her stomach. “Oh, yes,” he said hoarsely. “I remember. The gravity of my sins, the pain I’ve caused you, the reckless abandon with which I’ve courted danger for both you and the child… it weighs heavily upon me.”
Louisa, moved by his words, reached for his hand as her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “It’s never too late to change, my love.”
“I didn’t want to be found, you know,” he said.
“What?”
“When the horse jumped the hedge, and I saw there wasn’t anything on the other side, I threw myself off just in time. The horse kept rolling down, but I got out of the way. I don’t know how, as soused as I was, but it was as if time had slowed. Then as I lay there, partway down the ravine, too dizzy to stand, I thought how it would be better if I just stayed there and died. You and the babe would be safer without me.”
“Oh, Reggie.” Louisa began to weep softly.
“But then I remembered that Caroline is gone for good, either to be married or banished to our aunt. And I remembered the pamphlet by your bed, about abstaining from alcohol. I want to read it, to understand, to change. So I forced myself up and stumbled my way into a cottage of some kind. I must have lost consciousness several times, but during the parts that I was awake, I reflected on who I’ve become… and who I want to be. For you, for our child, I want to be better.”
Louisa’s eyes, brimming with empathy, met his. “It’s a brave thing to confront one’s own reflection and seek to change it,” she offered gently.
“I’ve been ensnared in a web of my own making,” he replied. “The folly of drink, the lure of oblivion… I see now the ruin it brings, and not just to myself. I kept telling myself that I was my own master, but I realize now that it was all a lie.”
“Some men are able to drink for enjoyment,” she said, “but you were doing it to hide from life—to mask the pain of being raised by a cruel mother—rather than dealing with it. I think those are two different things.”
“I think you’re right.” His eyes met hers, a silent vow shimmering in their depths. “I wish to be the man you deserve, the father our child will look up to. I’ve been given a glimpse of the abyss, the chasm where my vices could have led us all. I swear to you, Louisa, that I will do everything it takes to ensure that the future I saw never happens.”
She leaned forward and laid her hand over his on the bed. “I believe you will,” she said softly.
∞∞∞
After Louisa had left the breakfast room, Elizabeth quickly polished off her breakfast. Not only was she still dressed for a walk outdoors, but she was also reluctant to accidentally encounter Darcy again so soon after their confrontation. She hastily made her way to her chambers and changed into a gown more suitable for a morning at home.
Once she had tended to Jane’s breakfast needs and helped her settle in for a morning nap, Elizabeth returned to her chambers. Fortunately, she’d had the presence of mind to bring a book with her to her rooms, meaning she could secret herself away until forced down for dinner with Jane.
Lamentably, not even the thrilling tale of Goldsmith’s The Vicar of Wakefield could keep her mind distracted. Instead, the continual misunderstandings and intentional subterfuge of the characters consistently brought Darcy to her mind. With so many varying reports of him, as well as the contradictions she had witnessed herself, how could she be expected to know the truth just as poor Olivia?
Frustrated, she finally slammed the book closed and tossed it onto the bed with a huff. It was so unbelievably unfair that he should monopolize so much of her time, even when they were not in one another’s company! Unbidden, Darcy’s face came to her mind, and she recollected his expression when she told him he was no honorable gentleman.
She winced. Perhaps she had been a bit too harsh.
After all, had he not diligently searched for Mr. Hurst even before he had gone upstairs to rest or change clothes?
Did he not apologize for how he spoke about Jane?
Did he not support charitable endeavors in London and treat the poor orphans with kindness?
How, then, could this same man be the one who insulted Jane? Who refused to accept Polly?
But he had made sure Jamie had a chair.
Teasing, vexing man!
Elizabeth spent the remainder of the afternoon going between the book and her deliberations of Darcy. Unfortunately, by the time the bell rang for dinner, she was no closer to figuring out his character than she had been that morning.
The only thing consistent about him is his inconsistency!
Fortunately for her sanity, dinner was a relatively quick affair. Everyone knew that Jane would be coming downstairs to join the party once the meal was completed, so they were in a hurry to eat as quickly as they could. Once again, Louisa had joined the table, and conversation between the four young people—Darcy, Bingley, Elizabeth, and Louisa—was quite limited as they focused on their food.
At last, Louisa led Elizabeth from the room towards the parlor. Elizabeth excused herself to fetch Jane, who was eagerly standing at the door to her chambers, her head peeking around the corner like a young schoolgirl attempting to spy on a ball to see the finery.
Elizabeth had helped Jane pick out her clothing earlier that day. She hadn’t wanted to spoil the surprise, but she had a strong suspicion that Bingley would take advantage of Jane’s presence belowstairs to finally ask her to marry him. As the ceremony was not but a couple of days away, it was quite imperative that the bride herself be allowed a say in the planning!
Within moments of Jane taking a seat near the fireplace, the gentlemen came into the room. Elizabeth stifled a laugh when she saw Bingley wink at a footman, who must have been playing the spy for his master. Her happiness only increased through Bingley’s solicitousness of her sister.
Bingley was full of joy and attention. The first half hour was spent in piling up the fire lest Jane should suffer from the change of room, and she removed, at his desire, to the other side of the fireplace, that she might be farther from the door. He then sat down by her and talked scarcely to anyone else. Elizabeth, at work in the opposite corner, saw it all with great delight.
After half an hour, Bingley turned to Jane, his heart full of resolve. He gazed into her eyes with a warmth that mirrored the fire’s gentle flicker.
“My dear Miss Bennet,” he began, his voice steady yet imbued with emotion. “These past days have made something abundantly clear to me. When I was away in London, I missed you every moment. Your grace, your strength, and your kindness have only deepened the admiration that I hold for you.”
Jane, her eyes meeting his, found in them a sincerity that quickened her pulse. The room, filled with the hushed anticipation of an unspoken promise, seemed to draw in closer, bearing witness to the moment that hung delicately in the balance.
“Jane, if you would do me the honor,” Bingley continued, taking her hand in his, “I would like to ask for your hand in marriage. To care for you, to respect you, and to love you for all of our days together.”
If his voice cracked on the last phrase, no one noticed; they were all too busy searching for the handkerchiefs to mop up the tears that had begun to fall.
The words, simple yet profound, hung in the air—a testament to the depth of his feeling. Jane, overcome with a rush of affection and surprise, felt her heart leap. She gave a delighted giggle and clapped her hands. “Oh, yes, Mr. Bingley!” she cried aloud, face beaming with happiness. “I would love to marry you!”
Jane’s innocent joy was infectious. Bingley gave a loud shout of laughter, then stood and picked Jane up, spinning her around in a circle. “Ha ha!” he cried out. “Jane, my love, you have made me so happy!”
Elizabeth and Louisa joined their siblings by the fire, each offering their warmest congratulations. “Oh, Lizzy!” cried Jane, “I am going to marry the man I love! He loves me too! Did you hear him say it? He loves me!”
“I did hear him!” Elizabeth smiled fondly at her elder sister. “I think the two of you deserve all the happiness in the world!”
“Come, we must celebrate!” cried Bingley, filling glasses with wine that a servant had brought in on a tray when he’d heard his master’s joy. “Darcy, old man—will you join us in a celebration drink?”
Elizabeth shifted her gaze down, doing her best to ignore the man whose presence she could barely tolerate. It had been a bit of an awkward dinner, but apparently she had been the only one to think so. She had studiously avoided any eye contact or conversation with him, as she had yet to uncover who was really the man from Derbyshire—the horrible, proud man who offended everyone or the kindhearted master who cared even for the servants who were not his own.
She could feel his eyes bore into her head before his shoulders slumped. “No, I think I’ll stay with my tea, but I thank you for the offer all the same,” he said.
After another half hour of listening to Bingley and Jane attempt to outdo one another in describing their happiness, Elizabeth thought she would not be able to take another moment more. She excused herself from the room, citing a headache and begging leave to retire for the night. Jane, who had begun to show signs of exhaustion herself, was urged by all to accompany her sister to their chambers.
Once Elizabeth had gotten her sister settled for the night, she crawled under the bedding, snuggling between the luxurious linens and thick down quilt.
Sleep, however, would not come so easily. It never does for someone with a guilty conscience.