Chapter 26
My dear Georgiana,
Please accept my most sincere regrets that I will not be able to call as we had planned in a few days. Upon my return from your home, I found an express waiting for me that my dear sister, Jane, has declined in health.
It is with a very heavy heart that I must return to Hertfordshire to be by her side for what will most likely be her final days. I am uncertain of when I will return to London, and I will feel the loss of your companionship, my new friend, most keenly.
Please convey my apologies to your brother for being unable to walk with him to the disabilities home tomorrow, as I will be leaving in the Bingley carriage at first light. I will miss his conversation, which I have greatly enjoyed these last few weeks.
I must go; I have much to do, but I do hope you will correspond with me during our time apart. I am eager to hear more of your opinions on Clementi’s latest works and how they compare to Dussek’s.
Your friend,
Elizabeth Bennet
∞∞∞
Elizabeth was shaken out of a sound slumber by the jolt of the carriage as it came to a halt in front of Netherfield. Across from her on the rear-facing bench, Penny was similarly startled awake. The door opened, and Jamie was standing there to hand them down.
She looked up at the large country manor; it seemed as if a lifetime had passed in the two months she had been away. So much had changed for her, yet at the same time, she expected so much to remain the same.
Almost as soon as she entered the house, she was greeted with a warm embrace from Louisa. “Oh, Elizabeth, I am so glad you are here.”
The telltale bulge beneath Louisa’s dress pressed into Elizabeth’s abdomen, and she gasped as she felt a small kick. “My goodness!”
Louisa laughed and placed a hand on her stomach. “This little one seems anxious to be out.”
“When are you expected to begin your confinement?”
Making a face, Louisa said, “Technically it has already begun. Mrs. Fields said in March or perhaps April, and since it’s almost the end of February, I have been confined to the house for the last four weeks. I am about to lose my mind, especially with Reggie hovering the way that he has.”
“Really?” Elizabeth’s eyebrows raised high on her head.
“Oh, yes. While I appreciate the efforts he has made—he hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol since his accident—his nervousness over my condition might drive me to drink!”
Elizabeth burst into laughter and gave her friend another hug. “Oh, Louisa, I am delighted to see you so happy.”
Louisa brushed a tear from her cheek. “I never thought my life could turn out this way. Now”—she straightened and smoothed her dress—“I imagine you wish to refresh yourself and then see Jane as quickly as possible.”
“Yes, please.”
The two women made their way up the stairs. “How is my sister doing?”
“She spends more time asleep than awake, I’m afraid. Her lips and fingers are always blue, and her cough is quite intense. Mr. Jones has given her an increasing amount of laudanum to keep her comfortable. The times that she is awake, however, she is just as sweet and wonderful as always.”
Elizabeth smiled. “Jane has always been that way. At times, she gets a stubborn streak about her, but she has always had a gentle and amiable nature. She really is too good for this world.”
“Charles said the same thing last night.”
They reached Elizabeth’s room—the same one she’d stayed in before and where she had left all her things before going to London. “How is he doing?” she asked, setting her small valise on a table near the bed.
“Better than I expected,” Louisa replied. “He is sad, of course, but at peace. He knew it was coming, and he is just grateful for the time they’ve been able to spend together.”
Elizabeth’s eyes filled with tears. “I am so glad to hear it,” she whispered.
“Well, I will leave you to change and freshen up. You know your way around, of course—this is your home. Charles knows to expect you in Jane’s room whenever you are ready. Dinner is at the usual time.”
∞∞∞
An hour later, Elizabeth knocked softly on the door to Jane’s chambers. The door opened, and instead of the expected nursemaid, Bingley stood on the other side.
“Lizzy!” he exclaimed, beaming.
Without hesitation, he pulled her in for a hug, then stepped back and motioned for her to enter. “I hope you don’t mind me calling you that,” he said as he led her through the room and to the bed. “Jane speaks of you so often using that term that I cannot think of you as anything but!”
She laughed. “As long as you don’t call me Eliza—that’s reserved for the Lucases!”
Bingley helped her into a chair near the head of Jane’s bed, where she sat propped up against several stuffed pillows. The nurse sat on the other side, gently spooning broth into Jane’s mouth. Jane’s eyes were closed, and Elizabeth gave Bingley a concerned frown.
In response to her unspoken question, he leaned forward and gently touched her hand. “Jane, my love, Lizzy is here.”
Jane’s eyes fluttered open, and a gentle smile graced her lips. “Lizzy, you came,” she murmured drowsily. “I missed you so much!”
“I missed you too, Jane,” Elizabeth said, fighting back tears.
“I’ll leave you two to your visit,” he said. “Send a footman if you need me.”
He pressed a gentle kiss on Jane’s brow, then left the room. Jane watched him go with a besotted look. “Isn’t he wonderful, Lizzy? I have the best husband in the entire world.”
“I’m so glad to hear he’s making you happy,” Elizabeth replied. “Tell me all about what it’s like to be married!”
Jane rambled on for a quarter of an hour about playing Spillikins, being read aloud to, and cuddling in front of the fire in their shared sitting room. To Elizabeth’s relief, if there was any kind of physical intimacy beyond kissing, her married state was enjoyable enough that Jane had no cause to repine.
Elizabeth could almost believe that they were enjoying a normal afternoon together were it not for Jane’s long, gasping pauses to take deep breaths every few words. She tried a few times to put an end to the conversation, but Jane’s unique stubbornness came to the forefront, forcing Elizabeth to listen quietly.
When at last Jane had sated her need to share every single detail of her marital bliss, she leaned back deeper into the pillows and closed her eyes. “Now, Lizzy, I want to hear everything that happened in London.”
Relieved that Jane would no longer tire herself with speaking, Elizabeth launched into story after story of the children at the disabilities home, causing Jane to giggle in delight or exclaim in shock, depending on the story. Once Elizabeth finished describing the abandoned and orphaned children, she then moved on to her adventures with her cousins, the society she experienced with her aunt and uncle, and the new sights and entertainment in which she had participated.
She finally ran out of anecdotes to share and fell silent. Jane opened one eye and peered at her sister. “What about Mr. Darcy?”
Shocked, Elizabeth could only stare at her sister. She had intentionally excluded any mention of the tall gentleman from Derbyshire, as she was not yet ready to share the swirl of emotions she experienced when she thought of him. “How did you know?”
“Charles told me.”
“How did he know?”
“Mr. Darcy told him in a letter, silly!” Jane giggled.
Elizabeth was shocked. Although she had begun to recognize her tender feelings for Darcy—indeed, she almost felt as though she were in a fair way of falling in love with him—she had yet to discuss those emotions with anyone. Even her aunt Gardiner, who had given her several knowing looks each time she had returned from an outing with Darcy, did not know many more details than the fact that they were friends.
The very idea that Darcy thought enough about their time spent together to write to Bingley about it…
A private person like Darcy wouldn’t share something of this nature with a close friend unless he were truly earnest in his attentions.
Would he?
“Do you like him, Lizzy?”
Jane’s question broke through Elizabeth’s thoughts, yanking her from London and back into Hertfordshire. “What, Jane?”
“Do. You. Like. Mr. Darcy?” Each word was spoken slowly and punctuated with a deep breath, but Elizabeth couldn’t tell if Jane was truly struggling to breathe that much or if she were simply mocking Elizabeth’s lack of sense when it came to a certain gentleman.
“Well… I… that is…” Elizabeth struggled to find a word; how was this such a difficult question to answer?
At last, she said, “I do not attempt to deny that… that… well, that I think very highly of him. I greatly esteem him. Yes, I like him, Jane.”
The last was spoken in a whisper. Jane squealed and clapped her hands, causing a bit of the broth that the nurse was still attempting to spoon into her mouth to spill onto the counterpane.
“I knew it! I told Charles that you wouldn’t be able to resist him, and I was right!”
This burst of excitement provoked a severe coughing fit. Jane’s face turned nearly purple in her attempts to draw air into her lungs, and Elizabeth leaped to her feet in alarm. The nurse swiftly placed the bowl of broth on the nearby table, then picked up a vial with a dropper in it. She held Jane’s head back and allowed three drops to drip into Jane’s open mouth.
“Laudanum, ma’am,” the nurse explained when she saw Elizabeth’s frightened expression. “It helps to calm her body so her lungs don’t need to work as hard. It will make her sleepy though.”
As if to prove her lady’s maid’s point, Jane’s eyes closed and her head lolled to one side. “How long will she be asleep?”
“Probably until tomorrow morning. She’s been sleeping a lot more the last week,” the nursemaid said. “They all do when they reach the end. ‘Tis a blessing, though.”
“How long have you worked for Dr. Carson?”
“Going on four years now, miss, but I was a nurse long before that with a Dr. Palmer in Staffordshire. A right stingy one, he was. Always giving orders to be bleeding folks and refusing to even touch a person who was sick. How can you know if a mess of spots is measles or just a rash if you won’t even look at it?”
As she spoke, the nurse removed several pillows from Jane’s bed, then gently eased her down into a more comfortable reclined position. She then gently wiped Jane’s face clean with a damp cloth before tucking the blanket around her sleeping form.
“I imagine Dr. Carson was quite the change.”
“Ay, and a right welcome one at that.”
Elizabeth watched with gratitude as the nurse refilled the cup of water near Jane’s table and moved the broth over to the door, where a house maid would collect it later for the kitchens.
We could never have been able to do this for Jane at home.
As Elizabeth returned to her rooms, she felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude that Bingley had let Netherfield six months prior. He was giving Jane the best possible care in her final days, along with more love than she could have ever possibly imagined.
Everything was perfect.
Almost.
∞∞∞
With Louisa’s confinement having begun and Jane spending more time asleep than awake, Elizabeth found herself once again at Netherfield with quite a bit of time on her hands.
This time, however, was different.
As she wandered the groves and paths over the following week, she found herself yearning for Darcy’s company. In her most desperate times, she even imagined herself conducting conversations with him, similar to those they had enjoyed while walking to and from the disabilities home in London.
It wasn’t until she found herself actually speaking to him out loud, however, that she realized that she might be going just a little bit insane.
As she was not formed for ill-humor, she laughed at herself, then made her way to Longbourn to see her father. Over a game of chess, he gave a half-hearted attempt at interrogating her about the happenings in London and at Netherfield. She was able to easily assure him that all was well in both locales, and he was mollified.
The game did little to distract her however, and after he had thrashed her soundly—and mocked her for the worst defeat she’d experienced at his hand in a decade—she made her way to the parlor, recklessly hoping that her mother’s gossip could sufficiently divert her for an hour or so.
She came upon her mother and two youngest sisters holding court with several officers from the militia, including Major Wickham, as well as a few of the local young women. The soldiers all stood upon her entrance, and she gave a light laugh at their chivalry. “Now, now,” she said merrily, “I am not your commanding officer! Do sit down.”
This was met with smiles and guffaws. Major Wickham took his seat at a table with Kitty, behind the settee where Lydia sat, and quipped, “I daresay we would end this war against Old Boney much more quickly if we had a few women at the helm.”
The only empty space was another chair next to him, which Elizabeth took with alacrity, eager to debate the opening he gave. “Are you saying that women are more intelligent than men?”
“Not at all,” he said with aplomb. “Simply that they are more conniving.”
A chorus of protests rose, mostly from Kitty and Lydia, and Wickham met them with a roguish wink before raising his hands in surrender. “Peace, peace! I yield! I have known many intelligent women—indeed, there is one in this very company whom I highly respect—and I have definitely known many a stupid man. Wit and intellect are not the domain of one sex or the other.”
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow as Kitty, Lydia, and the other ladies giggled and blushed at his words. When the conversations in the room at last returned to normal, she leaned forward. “I daresay each girl in here thinks herself the lucky lady of whom you spoke.”
He gave her a roguish grin. “Are you including yourself in that statement, Miss Bennet?”
She laughed. “I’m afraid, Mr. Wickham, that I have recently discovered myself to be quite impervious to your type of flattery. I much prefer open and honest communication, even if it isn’t quite as… polished or rehearsed.”
Wickham’s eyebrows shot up in the air, a look of surprise on his face. Then he seemed to comprehend her meaning, for he gave her a long, measuring look before affecting a cheeky air and saying flippantly, “I’ll have you know, Miss Bennet, that I often spend time amusing myself with suggesting and arranging elegant little compliments that may be adapted to ordinary occasions so that I may give them as unstudied an air as possible.”
Kitty, who had been listening to both Lydia’s conversation and Elizabeth’s, burst into laughter, along with Major Wickham. Elizabeth, while amused by the statement, failed to see the need for such hilarity. “I’m afraid I don’t understand the joke, which is a shame, for I dearly love to laugh.”
“It’s only… that Mr. Collins…” Kitty could scarcely speak from laughing. “Said the same thing… about what he does… in his spare time…”
Now it was Elizabeth’s turn to raise her eyebrows. “You mean to tell me that our new brother uses his free time thinking up compliments for Mary and practicing them so they don’t seem rehearsed… and he admitted to it?”
Kitty shook her head. “No… no… he thinks them up… to tell to… Lady Catherine… and her daughter!”
“And he admitted this in public?” Good Lord, the man is stupider than I thought.
“No, he told your family at dinner one night,” Major Wickham said, having managed to settle down somewhat. “Your sister shared the story with me later.”
Elizabeth frowned at the back of Lydia’s head. Can’t that girl keep anything to herself, especially with regard to propriety? The whole neighborhood learns about the smallest indiscretion!
“Having the unpleasant misfortune of having met Mr. Collins, I can appreciate the humor in your words,” Elizabeth said.
She would have spoken more, but the hall clock chimed, and Major Wickham rose and cleared his throat. “Men, it is time for us to depart. We have much work to do.”
“Yes, sir.”
The phrase echoed throughout the room, and one by one, the officers made their farewells to their hostess, her daughters, and the other guests. With the men departing, the young ladies also stated their intentions to leave. This quickly prompted the officers to offer their services as escorts, leaving some ladies with smiles and others with scowls.
“I suppose I had best be on my way as well,” Elizabeth said to Major Wickham, “but please do not suppose that I am making this decision to beg for a walking partner. It is barely three miles to Netherfield, after all, and I shall arrive well before dark.”
“I can take you as far as Meryton, if you wish?” he offered.
“In that case, I would be happy to accept your company,” she replied.
Elizabeth made her goodbyes to her mother and sisters, leaving Lydia standing at the doorway, scowling after them, arms folded across her bosom.
“I apologize for Lydia’s behavior. She is the youngest and much indulged.”
“Sixteen is a difficult age,” Wickham replied.
“Lydia is only fifteen,” Elizabeth said. “She will not be sixteen until June.”
“Your other sister is almost eighteen though, is she not?”
She nodded. “I suppose I hadn’t realized how quickly time was passing, not with me being in London and now Jane doing poorly. But Kitty will turn eighteen in just a few weeks.” She frowned. “I’m surprised Mama hasn’t made more of a fuss about it. She usually does about our birthdays, especially after we’ve come out.”
Realizing she’d said more aloud than she intended, she flushed. “My apologies, Major Wickham.”
He smiled. “I daresay I’ve spoken to you more than I ought in the past. But is that not what friends are for?”
“So long as the friends are true and can keep one another’s confidence.”
Wickham’s face grew serious. “I promise, Miss Bennet, that anything you have shared with me will not be passed on to my acquaintances.”
“Thank you, Major. You have my assurances as well.”
“Other than the fact that you told Darcy about my hating him.”
The solemn tone in his voice caused her to look at him sharply. Only the slightest twitch at the corner of his lips gave him away. She burst into laughter.
“Don’t try to tell me that you’re upset at my betrayal! Had I not said anything, he would never have made restitution.”
He sobered. “I owe you and him a debt of gratitude. It was more than I deserved, to be honest. When he and I parted, I was already on a path of idleness and—to be honest—a bit of resentment for my friend’s wealth. Had I remained at Pemberley, being given so much by my godfather, who knows where I would have ended up now?”
“Well, no matter the reason, I am glad it has all turned out well for you, and I hope it shall continue to do so.”
The conversation came to an end as they approached the barracks just outside of Meryton. He looked down at her. “Thank you for your company, Miss Bennet. Please allow me to express my condolences for your Mrs. Bingley’s decline. I understand from your younger sister that her health is somewhat fragile.”
“Thank you, Major. It is most appreciated—both the conversation and the sentiments.”
He bowed over her hand, then retreated into the residence. Elizabeth made her way through the streets of Meryton and toward Netherfield, her heart both lightened and weighed down at once by the events of the day.
How I wish Darcy were here.