Chapter 9 #2
He could lament having a wife not of his own choosing, or he could cope with reality.
He married a woman of no fortune or connexions and with an embarrassing family a week after he had met her.
And he did wrestle with regret and guilt and disappointment.
Certainly Elizabeth had the same feelings.
But if he was sullen and angry, that would lead to him being resentful and unkind.
She did not deserve that, and it was a sure way to deny them any chance at contentment.
It was pointless to yell at the wind; he had to adjust his sails.
He would take what comfort he could out of the calamity Georgiana’s elopement caused.
He now had a partner he admired. She was confident, attractive, sparkling.
As he learnt yesterday, she was willing to befriend him and be a partner.
They were in accord about dealing with Wickham.
There was no reason to assume it would be a terrible life because he had lost the power of choice.
“I suppose you must survive however you can,” Fitzwilliam said. “And if she is as sensible as you say, Mrs Darcy must have nothing to say against you. She captured a wealthy man, after all. Some people say you are handsome too, although I do not see it,” he added with a smiling attempt at levity.
“Oh, she has plenty to say against me. I am too proud, I have a selfish disdain of people outside my circle, and I can say nothing of her family’s behaviour considering what Georgiana did.”
Fitzwilliam stared in silence for far too long. Darcy then said, “This is when my unfaltering defender would exclaim how foolish that is, but she is right, is she not? Her reproofs are warranted.”
His cousin blew out a breath. “I underestimated the woman.”
“Because she got the measure of me?”
“No, because you want to attend to her reproofs. For that alone, you must have some value for her. Or do you quarrel often and conceded just to have a moment of peace?”
Darcy smiled to himself. “She shares her opinion decidedly, and I could not say how much we will quarrel now that the taxing situation that led to our marriage has passed.” He thought about their disagreements in Ramsgate.
“I am too honest to the point of being unkind. She made me realise I truly am disdainful of other people.”
“I could have told you that,” Fitzwilliam quipped. “Guess I am not pretty enough to listen to. Do you like her?”
“Yes.” The answer came quickly, but Fitzwilliam caught his tone.
“Yes, but?”
“Sometimes I hardly know how to act around her, Fitzwilliam. I freely admit I enjoy her company, but I dislike the way I feel when she is near.” His cousin gave him a confused look.
“Every time I talk with her alone, my stomach churns with anticipation, but a tightness in my chest suggests I am nervous. But nothing about her makes me uneasy.” Darcy sat back, heaving a sigh over the strangeness of it. “I do not understand it.”
His cousin abruptly turned away, trying to hide a smile.
“What?”
Fitzwilliam waved him away, muttering “Nothing” as the door opened and Elizabeth entered. When Darcy introduced her, Fitzwilliam gave him an emphatic look over Elizabeth’s head that he supposed meant he approved of at least how she looked.
“Have you finished your blustering over the injustice of being stuck with me?” she asked him when they sat. “Or does your cousin know you so well that he would side with me if there was any complaining to be done?”
Darcy was unaccustomed to anyone sporting with him but his cousin, but from her, he found it charming. “I spoke the truth and gave you some very civil compliments.”
She looked at Fitzwilliam and said, “Mr Darcy is all politeness.”
“Did he impress you on first sight?” Fitzwilliam asked her. “Or did he scowl and look down on everyone?”
Elizabeth addressed her answer to him. From how she smiled, Darcy knew he would be teased. “After our first meeting at the concert, I assumed you would be someone who generally spoke in short sentences, seldom smiled, and never laughed.”
Fitzwilliam held back a sound between a laugh and a cough.
“I soon disabused you of that notion. I share my opinion as freely as you do.”
“Well, you spoke at length, and often while insulting someone in the process, usually me.”
“But I smile.”
Elizabeth laughed, and Darcy decided he wanted to hear that sound every day. “You do.”
Their shared smile faded, and she turned back to Fitzwilliam.
“You must have come all this way to decide if your poor cousin has ruined his life. Mr Darcy said you are his dearest friend, and I hope in time you will cease to see me as a mistake and a lamentable connexion. Perhaps one day you and I can be friends.”
Fitzwilliam gave her a long look. “I have no doubt,” he said quietly.
“After hearing Darcy talk about you, I was afraid he had been completely taken in, but perhaps it is an advantageous match on both sides. And I must always be grateful to you for what you were willing to do for Georgiana.” He looked at Darcy.
“I am now more concerned with what Wickham will do.”
“He now has a bride with no money, so he will be angry. He took a risk and is gambling it will pay out.”
“How very like him.”
“Should we give her anything?” Elizabeth asked. “If only to more easily return to England? I know you do not want to, but she wrote to me to congratulate me on my marriage and said they have lodgings for now but will make their way to town.”
“It would be like giving a drunk a drink,” Fitzwilliam replied, “enabling him to continue reprehensible behaviour.”
Wickham would always want more money or even threaten Georgiana with harm if Darcy ever yielded. “Wickham has to know from the beginning he will get nothing from me.”
Elizabeth sighed. “I just feel for Georgiana.”
“She knew what the consequences would be.” As much as it broke his heart, his sister chose Wickham.
But perhaps it would give her time to see the man she married for what he was.
If she ever wanted to live apart from Wickham, he would take his sister back in an instant and damn the societal consequences.
“Now that I have met you,” Fitzwilliam said slowly, “I think you and Darcy should go to town rather than hide in Derbyshire.”
Darcy sat up in surprise. “Who is in town in September? If we need to be seen together, we ought to go in January.”
“I am not sure it is wise to wait that long. There is a great deal of talk about you and your sister.”
“There is nothing to be done about Georgiana’s choice. The gossip and newspapers may question my choice of a wife, but my reputation is unassailable. My great-uncle was a judge, my uncle is an earl, and my character speaks for itself.”
“And you have a great deal of money,” Elizabeth quipped.
Fitzwilliam gave him a pitying look. “I know what your family’s reputation means to you, Darcy, and now I think you need to be seen in public with your wife.
She is an unknown, but she could turn the tide in your favour.
Georgiana’s scandalous marriage will sink your respectability, but Mrs Darcy might redeem it. ”
“You needed to appraise me first to see if I could conduct myself in a way that would benefit your family,” Elizabeth said with an edge in her voice.
“You would not write to suggest Mr Darcy bring me to town, since it might have been a disaster if I could not string words together or behave properly.”
To his credit, Fitzwilliam looked embarrassed. “I needed to see what manner of woman you were.”
Elizabeth gave him an arch look. “Since I do not have wealth, they might say Mr Darcy made his choice from the excellence of my understanding than either beauty or fashionable accomplishments.”
“You are by no means deficient in the one or the other,” Darcy said quickly.
She gave him a surprised look and a shy smile, but they both returned their doubting eyes to Fitzwilliam, who threw up his hands.
“I wanted to meet her first and decide if my advice would be worth giving, and now I know it is. Georgiana’s outlandish marriage and your withholding of her fortune are already much talked of.
Add to it all that you, a reserved man who has never been entangled before, fell in love in Ramsgate and eloped?
It is in the papers, and no, I do not merely mean the marriage announcement.
Everyone in your circle is gossiping already, I assure you. ”
“Is it not believable enough that if I eloped because I fell in love instantly, I would want to hide away with my new bride for a month or two?”
Fitzwilliam exhaled through his nose. “May I speak plainly? Mrs Darcy, forgive me—but I feared she would be reckless and flighty like the sister Wickham had duped. But she is quick-witted, amiable, and quite pretty, if you will forgive me for speaking forwardly about your wife. There is no reason not to parade her around town and quiet the talk about both you and your sister.”
Darcy thought for a long moment. “Did your father send you?”
Fitzwilliam shook his head, but the guilt was all over his face.
“He is not in town until Parliament opens. I am on my way to see him when my visit here is concluded. But,” he drawled, “he wrote to me and agrees that it would be good to distract from your sister’s scandal by showing that at least one Darcy has some sense and decorum.
You will lose a great deal of influence and reputation if you do not act. ”
He exhaled slowly and felt Elizabeth’s gaze on him. Perhaps he would have to take Elizabeth to town and show his circle there was nothing about her to be ashamed of.
“Mr Darcy must be worried, although he will not admit it,” Elizabeth said. “But you have been honest, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and so will I. I have no connexions of note, and no money either. And my family behaves worse than some unruly children. My character and accomplishments may not be enough.”
Fitzwilliam shook his head. “Your mother and sisters won’t be in London, correct?
And while your lack of both is regrettable, your fortune and connexions will not matter as much now that your name is Darcy.
I think your manner and character will indeed be enough.
It could be good for you to bring her to London,” he said to him.
“Show that she is a credit to you, show no shame in the alliance, introduce her to your friends, to Lady Catherine—”
Darcy was not proud of the groan of complaint that formed in the back of his throat. “No. Lady Catherine was rendered so exceedingly angry in response to my letter announcing my marriage that it would be an insult to Mrs Darcy to allow them to meet.”
“Then ignore her, but there is still talk about your family. Georgiana Darcy threw herself away on a feckless gamester, and her brother is keeping her fortune from falling into his hands. But Mr Darcy also ran away to Scotland with a woman he fell in love with at a watering place, and it would be better for you if people talked about that.”
“But is his marriage to me not a disgrace, according to them?” Elizabeth asked.
“It could be if they do not know you. Or it could be romantic and a distraction from the disparaging talk about Georgiana. Darcy, you do not want your family name sullied any more than it needs to be.”
“Colonel Fitzwilliam,” Elizabeth said, rising. “You must be weary from half a day in the carriage. You must want to rest. Mrs Reynolds told me some of your much-loved dishes, and you will see some favourites tonight.”
His cousin took her hint with good grace. “You must want to talk things over.” He held out his hand, and Elizabeth took it. “For all his faults, and there are many, Darcy is my closest friend. I hope you can forgive me for my concerns.”
“If he has that many faults, intimate with him as you are, I hope you will teach me how to better tease him and laugh at him.”
Fitzwilliam laughed. “Oh, Darcy, you may not have chosen her, but this has turned out far better than I expected.”