Chapter 23 #2
“Thank goodness,” she said in a faint voice, and looking down with fresh shame.
Her despair was gone, and all the wretchedness too, but he realised her guilt lingered.
He did not account her to be a liar, or a thief, or one who would hold herself back from him, but it would be longer before she believed it.
He forgave her sooner than she forgave herself.
Darcy noticed they were now in a somewhat pretty wilderness out of view of the house. He stopped walking and put his arms around her waist. “Did you bring me out here to shield me from your family, or did you have another reason?”
She did not take his hint. “Of course—well, all except for Jane. She will not do anything to mortify us.” She rested her hands on his chest. “You seem fond of me, and I would like to keep it that way.”
“I can resign myself to more visits, and supper parties at Mrs Philips’s, and not one family dinner after tonight, and taking the carriage with your mother to sit in every drawing room in the county…” He leant closer. “So long as you look at me like that.”
She gave him a soft smile and asked, “Like what?”
“Like you are in love with me and all you can think about is kissing me.”
Elizabeth lifted her mouth to his and Darcy’s lips brushed hers once, twice, and then the third for much longer.
He took the kiss deeper, and with a soft moan, she stepped closer, clutching him tighter.
The warmth of her body seeped into his, and all worries about Wickham or neighbours and in-laws or undue notice fell away when her lips were pressed against his.
“Indeed, you are carrying away the brightest jewel of the county!”
Elizabeth sat nearby and observed Sir William Lucas continue to talk at Darcy in the middle of his set. “I hope we can all meet frequently at St James’s.”
She watched Darcy listen with decent composure.
When Sir William left and Darcy returned to dancing with Lydia, he shrugged his shoulders.
She could not blame him, however. The parading at the assembly tonight was particularly embarrassing.
At least Mr Bingley was also here, so the excessive attention was spread across the rich man who had already married one Meryton girl and the other wealthy man who might yet marry another.
“Miss Bingley looks rather surly,” her father said, coming up to her.
He had been persuaded to come to the assembly because, in his words, “he had a son-in-law to show off.” Elizabeth suspected he wanted to watch Darcy face even more absurdity, but perhaps he would take pains to know her husband better.
“I think Mr Bingley’s sisters do not care for a public ball. Perhaps they prefer town living.”
Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst had greeted her civilly, likely knowing that any spitefulness would prevent them from being noticed by the Darcys.
They were even kind to Jane and expressed an interest in knowing her better.
Jane was now dancing a second time with Mr Bingley, but she supposed Jane being the sister to Mrs Darcy was what made her endurable rather than that their brother had shown a slight preference for her.
“If Miss Bingley is displeased with being here, then I must ask her to dance,” said her father, who winked and then crossed the room.
He was always provoking people for his own amusement.
Elizabeth watched him apply for her hand, and, to her surprise, Miss Bingley accepted calmly.
Perhaps her brother had impressed on her how much he wanted to make a good impression.
Darcy left the dance and brought Lydia back to her mother, and then he came to her side. “I am surprised to see the new bride sitting down. That would never happen in London.”
“There is a scarcity of gentlemen. Perhaps none of them find me tolerable and are certain I will marry no one of consequence with connexions like mine.”
He gave her a knowing look, remembering what he once said of her. “I think you are beautiful, and you have the best connexions of anyone I know.”
“That is because my connexions are now yours. That was not true when we met. Thankfully, I was not greatly offended and can overlook your blunders. At least you know that I never wanted to marry you for your money or connexions.”
Darcy lifted his eyes as he sat next to her, but he smiled. “I never thought you did. If I was to be loved, I wished it to be because of who I am, not for the favours I have done or the fortune I have.”
“Then should I be glad we ran after our sisters from Ramsgate?” she asked in a low voice.
“I certainly am.”
She smiled. He could not have always thought so. “I should never have chased after Lydia, and certainly not done all the rest that followed. Things could have worked out so badly for me. But I am happier than I deserve.”
Darcy gave her a look that showed he understood her.
“How lucky was I to be more fortunate than I deserved?” He took her gloved hand and kissed it.
“Speaking of sisters, mine is on her way to Scotland, along with her ne’er-do-well husband, so I can tell the attorney to go forward with giving them the money once they arrive. ”
The remembrance of all the anxiety she had been under, all the fear of the consequences, came back to her. “I am surprised he would leave us alone for so little money.”
“Wickham, of course, wanted more, but was reduced to be reasonable.” Elizabeth suspected there would always be that tone of contempt when Darcy had to say that man’s name.
“He still cherished the hope of making his fortune by marriage with another woman until I told him he could not if Georgiana divorced him for adultery.”
“I wonder why he agreed when he wanted so much more?”
“He had nothing to live on now, you remember, and under such circumstances, he was not against the temptation of immediate relief. Three thousand pounds right now appealed to him more than disgracing us but having nothing for life. And this way, he had an agreeable and trusting companion in Georgiana.”
Wickham’s settling for such a mediocre fortune proved not the moderation of his wishes, but his eagerness to grasp at anything. “I am sorry she still would not leave him.”
“Since such were her feelings, it only remained, I thought, to secure some competency for them—and far away from us.”
“But, if she ever leaves him, whether she divorces him or he deserts her…”
A sadness filled his eyes, and Elizabeth knew there was nothing she could do to solve that pain, other than simply love him. “I would support her and acknowledge her again, if my wife allowed it.”
“She would,” she said, smiling and stroking the back of his hand. “I would snatch her from further vice, though all is lost on the side of character by her choosing such a man to be her husband.”
“I saw you tense this morning when your father hinted we were in the newspaper.” Elizabeth lowered her eyes.
She had no reason to fear the loss of Darcy’s esteem.
But the fear Wickham placed on her heart was not easily forgotten.
“He will say nothing since he lost his supposed proof. But if he ever does, you must know I would stand by you.”
“I was so afraid of what would happen to us if you believed him,” she whispered.
“That man is a liar, a spendthrift, a gamester, and a whoremonger. Why would I?” Darcy flinched as a thought came to him. “Because you did not know that your husband had fallen in love with you and would never forsake you.”
There was no reason to dwell on unpleasant memories, not when their future was so bright. “Well, from now on, tell your wife you love her as soon as the thought enters your head.”
He leant toward her ear and said, “I love you.” Sitting back, he added, “I fear if you will find me tiresome if I must say it whenever I think it.”
“Twice a day should suffice. Although,” she drawled, “you can show me tonight, if you like. You did not show me the two nights we have been here.”
Darcy looked around to see if anyone was near to them and lowered his voice.
“Our chamber shares a wall and a door with your mother’s dressing room.
Even if that door is locked and has a dresser before it”—he dropped low to whisper in her ear—“you are loud and I have far too strong a sense of delicacy for your parents to hear you.”
She could not show a hint of embarrassment.
“That is your fault, and it will be a long fortnight if we do not solve that problem. And, since you kindly resolved a serious problem for me with dreadful consequences, I will solve this problem for you. Maybe after a week of displaying you to the neighbours, we can spend a few days with your friend Mr Bingley? Do you care if he hears you, for you are not quiet either?”
Elizabeth watched Darcy flush, but aside from that, he did not react. She watched him think for a moment before he said, “Another week is a long time. Are you still ever eager to keep me to yourself?”
She managed a nod while a pleasing heat crept over her body.
“I have danced with all your sisters, and your mother will not call her carriage if Jane is talking to Bingley. There is one dance left. If we leave now, we will have the house to ourselves for an hour before your family comes home.”
Elizabeth felt breathless, but tried to hide it by teasing him. “That is a lovely idea, but can you wait thirty minutes to kiss me?”
“Thirty minutes?” he asked, in a tone of some surprise. “I will be alone with you in the carriage in ten. I say we use that time to increase a flame already kindled.”
He gave her hand a parting squeeze before leaving to order the carriage, and Elizabeth felt incredibly fortunate that her love for Darcy was met with equal strength and passion.