Chapter Twenty
It was not truly my problem what had befallen Caroline, and I could not say that she was not a bit of an annoying sort of person, but I did feel sorry for her, I supposed.
And it was later that day that I remembered someone else who knew about her brother and her husband, someone who had heard a similar proposal to the one she had made me and had been eager for it.
My cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam.
But I was not entirely sure where he was. However, Georgiana told me that he was in London on leave, that the last letter she’d had from our aunt had mentioned this.
So, I wrote to him. I could not put something so sordid down in a letter, of course, but I hinted broadly around the entire issue, and he did not even write me a letter back, he just arrived on my doorstep five days after I had sent the letter in the first place, which was a rather quick turnaround, I had to say.
He had just ridden from London on horseback, and he was dirty from the road and I said he would like to have a bath and settle in, and he said that we should go to my study and have a brandy.
Once we were behind closed doors, he said, “What is this about?”
I said, “Do you remember Caroline Bingley?”
“No,” he said.
“Mr. Bingley’s sister?” I said.
He thought about it. “Maybe.”
“She…” I considered her. “She is pretty enough, I suppose, but she often mars this by talking endlessly and chattering inanely about all manner of things. Do you find that once a person shows you that they are not very intelligent, their attractiveness diminishes in your eyes?”
“No,” he said. “No, I cannot say that I do.”
“Hmm,” I said. “Well, I suppose that is only me, then.”
“I barely remember this woman,” he said.
“She is married to James Bennet now,” I said.
“Oh,” he said. Then he nodded. “This is why you were referencing that conversation, the one where I called you a lucky blackguard, then. But this is not about Elizabeth.”
“Have I ever given you leave to call my wife by her first name?” I said, glaring at him.”
“She has given me leave,” he said.
“When?” I said. “When were you talking to her?”
He held up a hand. “None of that. Let us not do that.” He let out a breath. “So, Caroline Bingley.”
“Bennet,” I said. “Her name is Bennet now.”
“And her husband came to you to ask if—”
“No, no,” I said. “She came to me herself asking for my, erm, assistance.”
“You are a lucky blackguard!” He glared at me. “How is that you get women throwing themselves at you when you are such a snail?”
“I am not a snail,” I muttered. “You know, I am regretting the fact that I ever invited you here in the first place.”
He laughed.
“It really isn’t any of my affair. I have nothing I need to do for Mrs. Bennet. I certainly don’t need to assist you in the business of getting under women’s skirts. I regret all of this.”
He shrugged. “Well, I’m here, aren’t I? Might as well see what can be done.”
I sighed. “You are willing, then?”
“Let me get a look at her,” he said.
“Oh, you would reject her if she was too plain, then?”
He thought about it. “No, actually, I suppose not. Fine, yes, I shall go and get cleaned up for dinner. She will be at dinner?”
“I suppose you must allow me to speak to her about it all—”
“I think not,” he said. “No, I do not wish to hear how you would broach this subject. If I am to seduce Mr. Bennet’s wife, please leave that to me.”
“As you will,” I said. I hoped this was not going to be a disaster.
Richard spent the entire dinner staring at Caroline, who barely noticed him, other than to say that she had not been aware that the colonel would be visiting.
“Yes, well, here he is,” I said, feeling a bit awful about this, rather like some sort of tawdry madam of a bawdyhouse, arranging things for people. It made my skin crawl. It was beneath me. I should never have resorted to it in the first place.
Caroline dominated the conversation, talking primarily about fans, and how many she thought a woman should have.
“There are some women, you see, who have fans made out of the same fabric as every dress, and then they have a fan for each dress, and I feel this is really very wasteful, and also that contrast, truly, contrast is key in the visual enjoyment of an outfit. So, having fans in a few neutrals—white and black, of course, and perhaps brown and gray—whilst also having a few fans in some key contrasting colors—yellow for blue dresses, for instance—is really quite the way to go, in my opinion.”
She went on this way for the entire dinner.
I said little.
Richard said little.
Georgiana looked entirely bored.
After dinner, Georgiana played the piano and Richard asked Caroline to dance. She was flustered, looking about, saying they could not simply dance on their own, the two of them.
“Why not?” said Richard. “Is that truly your objection, or is it me?”
“No, no, of course not, sir,” she said. “I would not object to a dance with you. That would be frightfully rude.”
But after the dance, she fled to my side and said, “Your cousin is not behaving at all like a proper gentlemen should.”
Yes, I should have intervened before all this happened. “This displeases you? He displeases you?”
“I…” Her cheeks turned pink. “Well, I don’t know if a man has ever been quite the way he is with me. I don’t know if I should complain about it, not entirely, for it is flattering, but I am alarmed, you see, truly alarmed.”
“I wrote to the colonel to ask him to come,” I said. “You said there weren’t many men who knew about your brother and your husband.”
“He knows?” Her eyes were wide.
“He knows.”
She gazed across the room at Richard. “I see.”
I let out a breath.
She turned back to me. “You mean that you wrote to him and told him that he could come here and… and have me?”
“I did.” I winced. “I do feel awful about it. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Obviously, if you do not like him, you must say so, and I shall tell him to leave you be, and—”
“Well, he did ride all this way,” she said. “He is not, you know, swoonworthy, but he is, well, he is here.”
That was a not-so-rousing sort of approval that I was glad my cousin had not heard. Of course, perhaps he would not mind in the end. Richard did not seem very particular when it came to women, I had to say.
She went back across the room to him, and she was an entirely different creature.
They sat together on a settee and she blushed and giggled and he spoke to her in a low voice and I began to feel as if they were being entirely untoward in front of my quite young sister, and I began to think I must speak up and say something.
But soon enough, Mrs. Bennet excused herself, saying in a far too cheerful voice that she had a headache.
And not long after, the colonel followed her.
Georgiana was still playing. “I think they are going to have a love affair.”
“What?” I said, rounding on her. I had known they were being very untoward. I should have put a stop to it earlier.
“Well, people are always having them in operas,” she said. “There’s nothing so boring as being in love with your wife, after all. It’s much more exciting to have a love affair.”
“No,” I said to her. “No, it is not.”
“Oh, how would you know, Will? You are very boringly in love with your own wife, and she with you.”
“There is nothing boring about it, I assure you,” I said to her. “And I hope someday you are quite happily settled as well.”
She smiled at me. “I wish that too. You and Elizabeth are quite happy. If I could find a man who looked at me the way you look at her, I think I should be happy too.”
“My dear sister, you must settle for nothing less,” I said.
She nodded slowly.
“Georgiana,” I said carefully, “I have something else I would speak to you of. I wish you to know that you have not… lost my good opinion. That even if you had, I should always love you and want the best for you, no matter what happens. You are my one and only sister. I could never disapprove of you.”
She gave me a look. “Elizabeth should keep her mouth shut,” she muttered. “I told her that in confidence.”
“But it is not true,” I protested, “and surely it is more important that you are assured of my continued love and affection and approval than anything else.”
She smiled shyly, meeting my gaze for a moment and then looking away. “Thank you, Will. I love you, too, you know. Even if you are sort of prim sometimes.”
I let out a frustrated noise. “I am not prim.”