Chapter 15 #4
Eli didn’t seem to like this question much, but to his credit, he didn’t try to argue the point.
“I held my tongue as long as I was able,” Silas added. “Every man has his limit. Mine is just lower than yours on account of my lack of breeding.”
“And Hannah?” Eli pressed. “Don’t you care how she feels?”
Silas shifted his weight, suddenly uncomfortable.
“I thought you didn’t like our engagement. You should be happy if your father runs me off.”
“I didn’t like the way it started, but I don’t want to see you break her heart.
” Eli studied him with warm brown eyes, so like his sister’s.
“I considered you a friend before all of this happened. If you ever felt the same, then answer me honestly: Do you want to marry Hannah or don’t you?
If you truly love one another, maybe I can talk to my father.
Find some way to repair the damage. But I need to know your intentions are genuine. ”
“I—”
The words wouldn’t come, but the understanding hit Silas like a ton of bricks.
I do want to marry her. It was no doubt the most idiotic thing he’d ever wanted in his life. Hannah had told him from the start that this was a trick. That she’d only chosen Silas because he was too unsuitable to pose any real risk of trapping her in a marriage she didn’t want.
But as he’d struggled and forced his way through the events of the past weeks, he’d found an unexpected thrill in every triumph. In every instance where he’d proven he could do more than anyone had expected. Not because he cared about impressing any of them. But because he’d needed to impress her.
He’d wanted Hannah to see him as more than the man who’d been driven from the navy in disgrace. To realize he was worthy of her admiration, not just for a stolen thrill, but for more.
A fantasy. No one had ever thought he was worth more. And if he’d come close to impressing her for a moment, he’d just dashed that hope against the rocks.
“Eli.” Hannah’s voice cut through the silence, echoing down the marble-tiled floor. She stood in the hall, looking more untouchable than he’d ever seen her. Anger had turned her gentle features hard and unyielding. “Give us a moment, please.”
* * *
How could things have gone so wrong?
Hannah had been close, she just knew it.
All she’d needed was to find the right words to make her parents remember the time when they’d still been happy together, and they would have begun to thaw.
Until Corbyn had started yelling at her father and ruined the whole evening.
All her hard work to bring them back together, gone in an instant!
He was supposed to be my ally! Hannah had entrusted him with so many secrets, she’d grown used to the idea that he would always be there when she needed him.
What had happened? She scarcely recognized the man she’d seen tonight.
Even if he grumbled about it, Corbyn had always treated her with kindness.
The dining room had been in such chaos afterward that no one had even noticed when Hannah slipped out.
“Answer me honestly.” Eli’s voice carried out to her as she tiptoed down the hallway that led to the foyer. “Do you want to marry Hannah or don’t you? If you truly love one another, maybe I can talk to my father. Find some way to repair the damage. But I need to know your intentions are genuine.”
She stood stock-still, her heart lurching.
“I—” It was Corbyn’s voice, but no confession followed.
Why did he hesitate? Of course he didn’t love her. And there was no need to keep pretending. Not after the way he’d spoken to her father.
She drew near enough to get a good look at Corbyn, his beautiful face stricken with a stronger emotion than she’d seen before. When had his eyes grown so vulnerable? He was supposed to be guarded and strong. Unyielding. He never showed his feelings so clearly.
For me, or for the lies he’s told Eli?
It wasn’t right that Corbyn should look that way. It wasn’t right that he should kiss her and dance with her and make her feel things she wasn’t supposed to, only to ruin the one thing she truly wanted.
Why had she put herself through all of this if Mama still wouldn’t take them home? It couldn’t have been for nothing.
I need to know your intentions are genuine, Eli had said. And Corbyn still hadn’t answered. Hannah couldn’t decide which would be worse: if he scoffed at the idea, or if he confessed some deeper emotion. She darted forward, suddenly desperate to speak before he could.
“Eli. Give us a moment, please.”
Both men started at the sound of her voice. It had come out louder than she’d intended. But after a hesitant glance between them, her brother padded from the room.
Hannah hardly knew how to begin. The snippet of conversation she’d overheard had turned her straightforward outrage into something more complicated.
“Did you do it on purpose?” she finally asked. “To ruin our engagement?” It was the most important question: Had this all been some misguided attempt to fulfill her instructions? If she was to blame for the row that had ruined her only chance to repair her family, she might never forgive herself.
Corbyn’s face changed back again; he was once more the cool, stoic being that she’d first met. A flawless statue. It made her wonder if she’d only imagined the image before.
“Does it matter?” No trace of emotion reached his eyes. “You got what you wanted. Your parents will insist you call off our engagement.”
No elaboration. Nothing more.
“It matters to me. You didn’t need to say such horrible things to him! You ruined the entire evening.”
“Your father ruined the evening. I only said what everyone else was thinking.”
Hannah couldn’t make her voice work properly after that. He isn’t even sorry! How could he stand there and behave as though he’d done nothing wrong?
“Hannah.” Corbyn’s voice softened on her name. She couldn’t hear it without remembering how he’d asked permission to use it, and how readily she’d granted it. “I know you love him, but you must have heard the way he talks to your mother. The way he talks to everyone—”
“Stop it!” she interrupted. “You don’t understand anything. We haven’t seen him in months! This was supposed to be our reunion, and you spoiled it before they even had a chance to talk.”
“He said plenty.”
“Don’t act as though you know him. You only just met him an hour ago.”
“I didn’t need an hour; I saw what he was within the first minute.
” Corbyn’s words assaulted her ears with merciless precision.
“Your mother must have been proud of the time she took with those decorations, and he tossed his aside for no good reason except to snub her in front of the whole room. He’s a browbeater, Hannah.
He enjoys making other people feel small. ”
“Because he was angry that my mother left him!” she burst out.
Immediately, her face grew hot. She hadn’t meant to speak the truth aloud, except that Corbyn had goaded her into it.
Had the others heard them from the dining room?
She couldn’t let the admission stand alone, so she added in an urgent whisper, “Anyone would be angry if their wife did such a thing, but they could still have mended the damage if you’d only given them more time. He would have calmed down. I know it.”
Corbyn didn’t reply. He studied her for a long moment, while she grew uneasy under the weight of his gaze and the stretch of silence. Hannah wasn’t sure what he was searching for, except that something in his face had softened.
When he finally spoke, his expression was very different than it had been a moment ago. “Do you really believe that?”
Was that pity she heard?
No. Corbyn had no business feeling sorry for her. She wasn’t some misguided child, engaging in flights of fancy. Who was he to walk in here and judge her family?
He reached out a hand, but she pushed it away before it could come to rest on her cheek. “I’m not imagining things,” she insisted. “I know my own parents better than you do.”
Again, Corbyn said nothing. His censure hung in the air like a gathering rain cloud. Why wouldn’t he say what he really thought, as he always did?
Why won’t he stop looking at me that way?
Her eyes started to sting. Hannah blinked them quickly, determined not to break down.
“You have no right to act superior after the way you behaved in there.” She threw out the accusation to protect herself, a shield against his silent judgment. “A real gentleman would have held his temper, even if someone at the table offended him.”
Corbyn stiffened. “I’m sorry if I’ve embarrassed you.” A bitter edge crept into his voice. “But you knew I wasn’t a gentleman from the start, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” Hannah raised her chin, unflinching. “I did.”
He twisted his lips into a shape that couldn’t be called a smile. “Now you have your reason to release me. I’m sure even your mother can’t believe there’s any hope for me after that display. I’ve done everything you wanted.”
Hannah couldn’t bring herself to reply. He was right; it was what she’d wanted. But she felt too miserable to take any pleasure in her victory.
When she’d imagined the conclusion to their charade, it had always been a happy scene.
After she’d secured her parents’ reunion, Corbyn would do something carefully ridiculous, she would release him and pay him his money, and they would all go back to their old lives, a little better off than when they’d started.
All the upheaval of her removal to London would be undone.
But when Hannah looked around her now, all she saw were ruins.
Corbyn was still watching her, as if waiting for something. I have nothing left to give you, she wanted to protest. Nothing at all.
When she still didn’t speak, he bowed very slowly, held her gaze for one last moment, and marched from the house for good.