Chapter 17 #2
“What?” Hannah wished the sound that had escaped her didn’t sound quite so much like a squawking bird.
She might have liked to be more graceful at this moment.
“You don’t have to do this to get the money I promised you.
Jane’s offered me a position in her club, and I’d like to accept if I can persuade my mother.
It might take me some time to save up the funds, but I’ll send you half my pay every month until the debt is clear. ”
Corbyn seemed to think about this for a moment.
“I need the money sooner than that,” he said finally.
“The reason Marian and James came to town was to ask me to invest in a brewery with them. Marian knows the trade from helping my grandfather, and James is a cooper. They have a brewmaster they can bring on as well. All they need are the funds for rent and supplies.”
A brewery? “When did you decide all this? Why didn’t you tell me?”
She knew it was silly, but Hannah felt a little hurt to learn that Corbyn had kept such a secret. She’d thought they’d come to know each other well these past few weeks. Why wouldn’t he have told her his plans?
“You always said our arrangement was temporary.” If Corbyn’s words came out a little brusque, they were softened by what he said next. “And I suppose I didn’t know if you might look down on me for it.”
“I wouldn’t,” Hannah assured him. After all, she intended to work for her livelihood, if Jane could provide the opportunity. What was the difference? “But what about the army?”
“I never intended to go along with that. I just said what I thought your mother would want to hear, back when that’s what you’d asked me to do.” A shadow passed over Corbyn’s face. “I haven’t told her the truth yet. I don’t know how she’ll take it.”
“How she’ll take it?” Hannah echoed. “Why are you acting as though you and my mother are dear friends? She hated you until recently.”
“I think we became friends this morning.” Corbyn looked nearly as baffled by this development as Hannah. “She was actually quite kind. I wouldn’t want to disappoint her now.”
“She’s spent the past four years trying to force me to marry the first man to learn my name!” Hannah protested. “In fact, several of them didn’t even learn my name.”
“So let’s put a stop to it for good,” Corbyn insisted. “Marry me.”
“But I don’t want to be married.”
“Why not? I can understand why you wouldn’t want to marry some decrepit old grandfather, but why not me? It would be in both our interests. I’d get the money I need for the brewery—no more and no less—while you have a permanent solution to your mother’s matchmaking.”
“Because it’s…” Hannah hesitated. She’d never really had to explain herself before.
Everyone dismissed her objections without listening to them, or else told her that she was sure to change her mind when she met the right man.
“Well, it’s all a lie, isn’t it? People act like marriage is supposed to make a woman happy, but it doesn’t do anything of the sort. ”
“We could be happy,” Corbyn said. “You’re an exceptional woman. I’ve enjoyed your company while we were pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes. I expect I would only enjoy it more if we didn’t have to worry about tricking anyone or proving ourselves all the time.”
“Maybe for a time,” Hannah conceded, “but attachments fade. I do appreciate the offer, Mr. Corbyn. Truly. But I can’t accept.”
Despite the veritable deluge of men who’d invaded her receiving room over the years, no one had ever proposed to Hannah before. She probably would have been horrified if they had. Most of the gentlemen hadn’t even called a second time, with how hard she’d worked to put them off.
But Hannah found herself inexplicably touched by Mr. Corbyn’s offer.
If someone had asked her an hour ago whether she minded going through life without ever receiving a proposal of marriage, she would have issued a resounding no.
Now that Mr. Corbyn stood before her, looking slightly nervous and tender despite himself, she realized that it wasn’t true.
She wanted someone to think that she was worthy of an offer.
An exceptional woman. No one had ever said something like that to her.
If only she didn’t have to disappoint him.
But Corbyn didn’t look disappointed. He wore the look of a card player considering his next move, not one who’d been defeated.
“You’re afraid you might find yourself in the same situation as your mother,” he finally said, his eyes inviting Hannah to deny it.
She couldn’t, of course. That was precisely what she was afraid of.
And with good reason! “What if I could make sure that would never happen? Your mother talked about settling your dowry on future children. We could settle the money on you instead, free and clear. You pay me what we agreed for the brewery, but everything else is yours. You could use it to buy yourself a cottage somewhere, so that you’d always have a place of your own to go. ”
“You’d really let me do that?” It wasn’t that Hannah was reconsidering her answer; it was only that Corbyn’s suggestion surprised her so much that she had to make sure she’d understood him.
Her dowry was the only reason her mother had been able to conjure up new suitors despite Hannah’s lackluster looks and blatant opposition.
She’d never imagined there could be a man willing to let it slip from his grasp.
Three hundred and twenty pounds was nothing in comparison to what he could have. If Corbyn didn’t care about that, he must really have meant what he said earlier. He wanted her.
How had this happened?
“I’d let you do whatever you liked if it means we can come to an agreement,” Corbyn said bluntly. “Name your terms.”
“I don’t—” He might just as well have asked her to organize a ball for two hundred people by tomorrow.
Entirely in Latin. “I don’t know that there’s anything that could make me agree.
Even if I had my own house to retreat to, it’s the retreat itself that would bother me.
What if we had children? I don’t know if I could put them through that. ”
They were slipping into dangerous territory now. Far from couching her rejection in delicate terms, Hannah found that she was pouring out her darkest thoughts and fears. Their discussion had turned intimate.
Corbyn studied her carefully, catching each of her objections and tossing it back in the form of a new offer. “What if there were no children?”
“You don’t want them?”
“Do you?”
Hannah was obliged to consider this before she could reply. It wasn’t something she’d ever needed to think about except in the abstract, given that she’d known she wouldn’t marry.
Gloria is rather sweet. Hannah could imagine herself with a child of her own to love, so long as the problem of the baby’s father remained a vague, undefined figure. But Corbyn’s offer to let her keep a cottage to maintain her independence would be completely meaningless if they had children.
She couldn’t leave a baby behind. Nor could she take one with her, if it meant putting the child through the same thing she was living now.
“No. If I were to consider what you’re proposing, I wouldn’t want to risk a child. That way it wouldn’t hurt anyone else if something went wrong.”
She probably shouldn’t have said if. She wasn’t really considering this, was she?
“Then we won’t have children,” Corbyn said simply, as if it were that easy.
Hannah was about to ask him how he planned to ensure this, but he explained himself before she had the chance.
“We don’t even need to live together if you don’t want to.
I’m going back to Burton once Marian and James have the funds to set up.
You could come with us, or you could stay here and help at Bishop’s if that’s what you want.
But you’d be able to do so without a scandal over your name.
“If you marry me, you can still do everything you planned, except that you won’t have to worry about being the woman who kissed someone in front of a room full of people and cast him off a few weeks later. You’ll be a married woman. And your mother never brings home another suitor.”
When he put it that way, it began to form a compelling case.
Bishop’s had suffered enough scandal. Wouldn’t it be better to maintain a veneer of respectability if she wanted to work at the club?
No one knew that Hannah had broken her engagement yet, except for family and Annabelle. She could still take it back.
What Corbyn was proposing wasn’t even a real marriage. If they lived separately from the start, there was no risk of a broken heart or a family split apart. They would merely be two people helping each other along, as they had been since they’d met. Was that so wrong?
Taking her long silence for the indecision it was, Corbyn reached into his breast pocket and produced a small box. “I got this for you.”
“Oh!” Hannah’s gasp of pleasure wasn’t exactly compatible with her view that this would only be a practical arrangement, but she couldn’t help it.
Inside the box was a round opal pendant strung from a gold chain.
The stone’s rich cream flashed with reflections of green and blue when she turned it in the light.
“It’s beautiful. But you didn’t have to.
I mean, you need the money for your brewery, and I haven’t even paid you what I promised for everything you’ve done already. ”
“I wanted to do this properly.” He looked a bit embarrassed as he explained himself.
“We haven’t been honest with everyone else, but we’ve always been honest with each other.
If you’ll have me, we wouldn’t have to lie to anyone ever again.
” Corbyn’s voice dropped to a whisper as he urged, “Try it on.”
Hannah’s fingers twitched as if to take it, but she held herself back.
Was she really going to marry Mr. Corbyn?
She’d never imagined herself in this position, but it didn’t seem so unthinkable now as it had before.
He was a good man. He meant what he’d said about protecting her independence, and they could ensure that the marriage settlement made it binding.
If I say no, I might never see him again.
The possibility made her heart ache. Hannah had grown used to having Corbyn around.
She liked the way she felt when he was near, the sense that she could rely on him, and the way he’d opened up to her, even when she suspected it didn’t come easily to him. It was nice to have an ally.
Moreover, if Hannah refused his offer, she would be forcing him to wait months or years for the money that he needed to start his brewery.
Even if he hadn’t shared his hopes with her, they must be important to him.
This was his future livelihood. After all Mr. Corbyn had done for her, she didn’t feel right paying her debt in bits and pieces from whatever she might hope to make at Jane’s club.
Not when she had the funds sitting in her dowry going unused, and she might get at them easily with an arrangement that could bring them both independence.
Three thousand pounds wasn’t much to start a family on, but if they didn’t have children and they were both investing something into profitable businesses, they could live quite well on it.
Oh goodness. I’m actually going to agree.
Hannah nodded. Her fingers were shaking too badly to get the pendant free of its box, but Corbyn took it for her, brushing her hair off her neck as he moved behind her to do up the clasp. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I promise not to hurt you, Hannah.”
Hannah’s hand flew to the stone of its own accord. It was cool and heavy at her throat. She felt like a child playing dress up in her mother’s jewelry, imitating a role she’d seen someone else perform countless times before her. But this was real.
Her heart skipped into a frantic pace, and Hannah had the sudden urge to turn and run back upstairs to her room, where she would be safe from this terrifying feeling.
She could still tear the pendant off her neck and tell Corbyn she’d changed her mind.
It wasn’t too late. But then he bent his head to kiss the side of her neck, and the heat of his mouth made her shudder.
As if he’d sensed her fears, Corbyn wrapped his hand around her waist and pulled her against his body, anchoring her in place as his lips wandered downward.
Stay, he seemed to be saying, overruling her nervous energy with desire.
Yes. A tiny whimper caught in Hannah’s throat.
Even if her mind balked at this prospect like a skittish horse, her body was quick to betray her.
He’d always been able to summon that reaction.
Hannah twisted to face Corbyn so that they could kiss properly.
With his hands sliding over her body, she couldn’t remember any of the objections that had seemed so important before.
Corbyn was prepared to give her everything she wanted. Independence. Access to her dowry. A home of her own. So long as she kept her wits about her, it could be the answer to her problems.
They’d done very well with a pretend engagement. Why not a pretend marriage?