Chapter 20
Twenty
Silas awoke before Hannah the next morning. In the first minutes before he’d fully shaken off his dreams, he’d been surprised to find another person in bed with him, pressed neatly against his side. Then he remembered.
It was real. She was his wife now.
Should I bring her breakfast? Don’t wealthy ladies usually take their breakfast in bed? He’d taken a light meal yesterday evening after their lovemaking, but Hannah had slept soundly through the rest of the night. She would be hungry when she awoke.
Silas crept out from the covers and dressed himself as quietly as he could manage, turning to check that Hannah still slept before he left the room. She looked peaceful.
Once Silas reached the kitchen and began fumbling for the kettle, James lumbered up from the pile of blankets he’d set out for himself in the next room.
“Sorry,” Silas murmured. “I tried to be quiet. Did you sleep all right?”
“As well as could be expected,” his brother replied without much enthusiasm. “I’ll be glad to have my own bed again. How soon can we go to Burton?”
Silas spilled some water when he moved the kettle too suddenly, uttering a curse under his breath. “There’s no rush. Marian said this place was paid up until the end of the month.”
“I’m not sleeping two more weeks on the floor,” James protested.
“Shh. Hannah’s still sleeping.”
James obliged him by whispering when he replied. “Walker wrote Marian that he’d spoken to the owner of a good place near the wharf. The sooner we get there, the sooner we can set up shop.”
“When did this happen?” He’d known the brewmaster that James and Marian had left behind when they came to London had been looking into some premises for them, but his cousin hadn’t mentioned they’d already settled on one.
I thought I had more time.
“A few days ago.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“Marian said she didn’t want you to feel more obliged to get the money than you already did.”
“That’s right,” Marian piped in from the doorway to her bedroom.
She was dressed for the day, but her bleary eyes said that she wasn’t quite awake yet.
“And I won’t hear any complaints about it.
You took care of what you had to, and I’ve been taking care of what I had to.
The last thing you needed was something else to worry about the day before your wedding. ”
“You should have told me,” Silas muttered.
“What difference does it make?” James screwed up his face in confusion. “We’re telling you now.”
“I’m not ready to leave London yet. I need a little more time to—” He broke off awkwardly, reluctant to confess the truth of his situation.
It was no secret that he and Hannah had married for mutual convenience, but he hadn’t gone into the full extent of it.
In all honesty, he hadn’t wanted to think of it more than he had to.
“To what?” James pressed.
He might as well tell them. He had to explain why he couldn’t pack up and leave town at the drop of a hat. “To persuade Hannah to come with us.”
Marian came into the kitchen, her worry plain on her face. “You haven’t told her we’re setting up the brewery in Burton?”
“No, she knows that,” Silas amended. “But she wants to stay in London and work at her sister-in-law’s club while we go on without her.”
“What’s wrong with that?” James frowned. “So long as she keeps to her end and gives you the money she promised, let her stay where she likes. We’ll be too busy for you to have time for a wife, anyway. This way we can focus on the business.”
“I don’t want her to stay behind. I want her to live with me,” Silas confessed.
He felt a little childish saying the words out loud.
James was right—they would have their hands full in the first few years.
It would make sense to leave Hannah behind until they were established, especially if that was what she truly wanted.
But what Silas wanted was Hannah. By his side each day and in his bed each night.
He wanted her gentle way of listening and her determined spirit.
He wanted months and years to explore each other the way they had last night.
Not memories to look back on when they’d grown apart, too afraid to admit there was a real attachment between them.
He knew Hannah wanted that too. At least on some level. She was just too frightened by what had happened to her parents to admit it.
“You want to stay behind in London? But what about the brewery?” James plainly hadn’t understood anything.
“No. I still want to start a brewery with you.” They were counting on him.
And after so many years relying only on himself, Silas couldn’t give up the chance to be near family again.
But Hannah was his family too now, as much as Marian and James.
He couldn’t leave her behind. If he did, what if she realized she didn’t need him anymore?
“I need a little more time, that’s all. If I can win her trust, I know I could persuade her to come with us.
Give me a few weeks. The rent’s already paid for that long. ”
It was Marian he needed to convince, more than James. She’d always been the guiding mind behind their plans. But she didn’t seem to be listening to him. She was looking past his shoulder, her eyes widening slightly at what she saw.
Silas turned. Hannah had come out into the hallway, dressed in a heavy wrapper and breakfast cap to preserve her modesty. She had clearly heard everything.
She looked at Silas for a long moment, then turned and went back into their bedroom without saying a word. Damn it. What have I done? He hurried after her.
“Hannah, that wasn’t what it sounded like.”
She was sorting through her clothes when he walked in, her back turned to him. She didn’t stop to look when he spoke, but continued to set out her corset and a green silk gown upon the bed. He wished she would say something.
“Do you think Marian would mind helping me into my corset? I can’t go out unless I’m properly dressed, and I can’t do it myself.”
“Hannah.”
She finally turned away from the gown she’d set out. When she turned to him, there was muted hurt in her dark eyes. “I thought we had an understanding.”
“We did. We still do. I’m not forcing you into anything.”
“No. You just wanted to win my trust so that you could persuade me to give up on my plans.”
Silas winced. He would have worded things differently if he’d known she was listening. “You’re making it sound like I tried to trick you, but it wasn’t that. I wouldn’t take advantage.”
“But you hoped I would change my mind, even though I’d told you what I wanted.”
“Is that so wrong?” he challenged. “I want to live under the same roof as my wife, that’s all.”
“Then why not tell me how you felt? Why pretend that I could buy a property and live separately if you never meant it?”
“Because I knew you would never have me otherwise. You were so worried about turning out like your parents that you needed some reassurance, so I gave it to you.” This was ridiculous.
Was she angry at him for admiring her? “Nothing has changed,” he tried to explain.
“You can still stay in London if you want to. I just…hope you’ll reconsider. ”
“Why?” She shook her head. “You have everything you need now. I know there’s a certain connection between us, but there’s no need to let that dictate the rest of our lives.
I want my independence. I told Jane I’d help at her club and that’s what I intend to do, while you want to start your brewery.
It makes perfect sense for us to part ways. ”
“A certain connection?” he echoed, trying not to be insulted and failing. “Hannah, I love you.”
The words hung in the air for several minutes.
I shouldn’t have said that. Silas had never made such a declaration before, but he was fairly sure it wasn’t supposed to take this long for a woman to say it back, if she were going to.
Hannah didn’t look overjoyed or even flattered.
She didn’t smile. If anything, she looked more than a little worried, as if he’d revealed that he owed a large debt or suffered from some serious affliction.
“I should go call on my mother,” she finally murmured. “I need to tell her the truth about your plans for the army before you go to Burton, and it will be worse if I put it off.”
“Let me speak to her. I can fight my own battles.”
“No. It will be better coming from me.”
“At least have some breakfast first. You haven’t eaten.”
“I can eat something there.”
She was running away, but Silas didn’t know how to keep her here. Anytime he tried to cling to Hannah, she fought that much harder to slip from his grasp. How was he supposed to make her want something that didn’t come from her own heart?
Perhaps there was no solution. She was too determined to escape the prison that had trapped her parents to imagine another possibility, and Silas wouldn’t become her jailer. If Hannah’s feelings for him were as strong as his own, he wouldn’t need to persuade her. She would have wanted to stay.
Silas wasn’t about to beg. There was nothing he could do but let her go.
* * *
Hannah scarcely knew how she reached Jane and Eli’s town house. She felt as though she were floating somewhere outside of herself.
He loves me.
How could Corbyn love her? She wasn’t the sort of woman who inspired love or passion; she was perfectly forgettable.
Four years’ worth of suitors hadn’t seen anything to love about her—not that she’d given them much encouragement, Hannah had to admit.
But all the same, there must have been at least fifty of them, if she counted every hapless fool her mother had pressed into a dance with her.
Not one had grown besotted. Surely that said something about Hannah’s charms (or lack thereof).
If Corbyn had been born a little richer or with a family pedigree, he might have had any lady he chose. He was handsome and ambitious and showed kindness to a woman in need. His strength was tempered by a keen sense of justice—a rare combination.