Chapter 36
Gervaise drew in a ragged breath. Steady yourself, he thought desperately.
You are not going to ask her to do anything that would shock the holy hells out of the respectable woman you are trying to get down the aisle.
You are not going to tell her you want her to bend her lovely neck and open her lovely mouth and take your cock into her lovely throat.
“Gervaise,” she said aloud. “You know I have been very deprived in life. We have discussed the matter. At length.”
Focus, Gervaise. “Yes,” he answered, and barely recognized his own voice. It was hard to think let alone talk rationally when his cock throbbed so insistently it was almost painful. “Deprived,” he repeated blankly. Right, he felt deprived too. Deprived of Caroline’s lovely cunt.
His gaze returned there, without conscious thought. Why was he doing this to himself? Caroline was perfectly amenable. She trusted him, she liked him, she had already afforded him so many liberties with her beautiful body that she surely would not deny him at this point.
As though guessing the nature of thoughts, she opened her legs again, spreading her knees and allowing him to see her pretty slit. Oh fuck, she looked pink and puffy from where she had rubbed herself against him. And he could see she was wet. He was not going to make any wise decisions right now.
Christ, he wanted her so badly. He could just…
yank her forward into his lap and bury himself in her warm, tight welcome there.
Why was he creating barriers right now? He wanted her, she wanted him…
His mind struggled to see wherein the conflict lay.
He gave his head a quick shake and remembered.
He wanted Caroline Halperston for his wife.
That was it, he recalled, feeling slightly less pained.
He wanted to marry her. He could cope with the pain of deprivation for such a prize.
He would not fuck his future wife above a gin palace while she did not have the protection of his name, he resolved grimly as his brain scrambled to rearrange his lust-addled thoughts.
What if he suggested she sat on his lap and he fingered her? Feeling her pussy wrapped around his fingers would be satisfaction enough. He could come against her hip. He would tell her they were sat on the stone bench in the folly and—
“Gervaise,” Caroline’s voice interrupted him.
“Mmm, yes.” He dragged his gaze from between her legs. Fuck, he was acting like a mannerless boor right now!
She squared her shoulders. “I w-want to—”
“To what?” he prompted when she fell silent. He hoped to God it wasn’t to call a halt to proceedings.
She took a deep breath. “Could I possibly try your ambrosia?” Red-faced, she gestured to his lap, and he followed her gaze to his rock-hard cock. “From the source, I mean.”
What? “My…?”
“It’s only fair. May I?” she asked tentatively.
Gervaise’s brain struggled to comprehend her request, and when it did, it could not formulate an answer.
Instead, he nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
What was happening right now? He was not sure, but he waited breathlessly as she reached out so very carefully and touched her fingers to the tip of his cock, then lifted them to her mouth.
He could not draw a breath even if his life depended on it. Her eyes met his and then crinkled thoughtfully. “Hmmm,” she murmured and gave a little shrug.
Gervaise swallowed, filling his burning lungs with air once more.
He felt like he was drowning in his own lust. It’s only fair, her words echoed back at him.
Caroline cared about fairness. Of course she did.
But that meant…that meant she would possibly not object to putting her mouth on him.
The notion caused his brain to malfunction once again.
“Caroline,” he said hoarsely. “Do you think you might possibly…”
“Yes,” she agreed eagerly. “Tell me. I want you to.”
He moaned softly and closed his eyes. Fuck, he should not but…he could not stop himself. “Will you… Will you try it with your tongue?” he wheezed. “From the source, I mean. From my…cock.”
Caroline’s eyes widened. “Oh!” she said softly.
“Oh, yes, of course. That should have occurred to me.” She shuffled closer and he lay back, propping himself on his elbows.
He felt so eager, it was embarrassing. “Bear with me,” she said, flinging her long dark hair over her shoulder as she placed her hands on his thighs.
He felt his muscles there jump reflexively.
“You will have to give me some direction,” she warned. “How should I—?”
“Just lick it to start with,” he answered and bit his lip as her silky hair fell forward to caress his thighs.
As soon as her tongue touched him Gervaise knew it was all over for him.
He shut his eyes and bit back a groan which he thought she might find off-putting.
He rested his hand gently on her head, but it ended up as more of a caress than a guide.
He was going soft. Well, in one respect but very much not so in another. “Caroline,” he breathed as she ran her tongue up his shaft. Oh fuck. She was taking her sweet time about it too. Like she was in no hurry but was savoring the experience.
She rocked back on her heels. “Would you like it if I…?”
“Yes,” he answered swiftly, not caring what the request might be. He gritted his teeth as she carefully took him in hand, feeling along his thick length, before tracing her fingers down to lightly graze his balls. Familiarizing herself with him. He turned almost light-headed.
“Now do the same thing with your tongue,” he whispered before he could stop himself. She only hesitated for an instant, then did her best to curl her tongue around him. Oh fuck. His eyes rolled back into his head as her warm mouth roamed over his cock.
He wasn’t going to say it. Her tongue licked up to his tip. “Ughhh!” he groaned, his head tipping forward. She stilled uncertainly, making an interrogative sound in her throat. “Suck me,” he urged shakily. Fuck. His eyes flew wide. He had said it after all.
Instead of reeling back appalled, Caroline pressed forward, placing open-mouthed kisses along his cock, base to tip, gently sucking. It was good. His pulsing cock liked it, liked it a lot. But still, it felt like an unbearable tease when really he wanted to take her mouth.
His breathing turned ragged and he found himself rocking his hips slightly, his hand in her hair, urging her closer still. He was too close. He ought to tell her to back off. To back off right now. He absolutely was not going to disgrace himself by spilling his seed all over her pretty face.
Just for a minute, he allowed himself to imagine her reaction, stunned, indignant, and so fucking pretty.
Fuck. Now he wanted that something fierce.
“Stop!” he uttered breathlessly. He needed to calm the fuck down.
His heart was pounding in his chest. Still, he could not bring himself to bring it to an end. “I need a minute,” he panted.
She settled back on her haunches, her hand returning to cup his neglected cock, as though she could not help it. As though she knew how it throbbed for her. He bit his lip instead of begging her to grasp him harder. To stroke him. To take him in her mouth.
She did not look repulsed, thank God. Quite the opposite. Still… Pull yourself together, Gervaise. Perhaps if he had something else to concentrate on, besides his own building pleasure, he could last longer. “I—I want to put my hand between your legs.”
Christ, she had him stammering now!
“Oh. Um. How…?
“Move around to my side, so I can reach you.”
She scrambled over his leg and knelt next to his hip, grabbing his hand and shoving it between her legs. Her enthusiasm made his own desire sharpen even further. Curling his fingers into her warm cleft, he bit back a moan, his thumb seeking out the fleshy bead of her clitoris. She was so wet.
“Oh!” she exclaimed breathlessly as he circled it. “Oh, Gervaise.” Her hips worked and her eyelashes fluttered down. Fuck, there she was, his maenad. He could not get enough of her.
“Don’t come,” he rasped, easing off his thumb. “Not yet.” He took a steadying breath and committed himself to really testing his limits. “Put your mouth on me again.”
She lowered her mouth to his cock without even a murmur of protest and started sipping and suckling again.
It was torture, exquisite torture. He flung his head back.
Hearing her moan against his cock as he slid a finger inside her had him gritting his teeth with the effort not to come.
He was not going to tell her to put it in her mouth.
He was not. He was— “Caroline—” he blurted, all resolve going out the window.
She turned her face aside as she clamped down violently on his fingers and came with a choked cry, her cheek soft against his turgid cock. His thoughts stuttered to a stop. “Fuck!” he groaned, then came, hard, his vision blurring.
Caroline remained where she was, gasping for breath, her hands clutching his thighs. Gervaise collapsed back onto the pillows, staring at her with mingled apprehension and fascination. She looked so startled and frozen and so fucking pretty, glistening with his seed that he could not look away.
Christ, he could look at her all day.
“Come here,” he wheezed as soon as he was capable of speech. Rolling onto his side, he snatched up her ripped nightgown and started dabbing at her chin and neck. “Fuck, Caroline, I’m sorry,” he babbled. “That was inexcusable, my darling. I don’t know what came over me.”
She made a choked sound, and he drew back in concern. Was she crying? The thought made his heart turn over in his chest. What could he possibly say? There was no defense. He had behaved abominably.
“Well, you may not know,” she said, wiping her eyes. “But I know what came over me. You did,” she said and gave a soft laugh. When he continued to stare, she said, “Because you call it coming—”
“No, I understand the jest,” he replied. “I’m just too relieved to laugh right now.”
“Relieved?” she echoed, dragging her hair out of the way so he could wipe her collarbone.
He swiped her nightgown down her cleavage. He had made a right mess of her. The reflection ought to fill him with shame, not satisfaction. “Yes. I thought you might be offended by such rude treatment.”
“Oh,” she said thoughtfully, then collapsed onto the pillows beside him.
He rolled into her, his eyes roaming over her neck and shoulders. “I think that’s the last of it,” he said, dropping the rag over the edge of the mattress.
She nodded. “Do you want to smoke?” she asked, glancing over at the bedside table.
“Yes,” he said sincerely. Then he changed his mind. “No. You should not really let me do that in bed.”
“What? Smoke?” She sounded startled. “Or…the other thing?”
Gervaise groaned softly. She really was going to be the death of him.