Chapter 31
31
Aiden drove away from Duck Pond Rescue with his head throbbing. There was no way he could go back to the practice. They’d have to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s calls. He dialled the practice on his mobile, his hands shaking so much it took four attempts. Then he headed towards home. He pulled up in his driveway, switched off the engine and put his head in his hands. What the hell had he done? He wasn’t aware of the tapping on the driver’s window until it became a frantic knocking.
‘Mr Southerland. Excuse me. Are you all right there?’
It was Emily, his next-door neighbour, he realised with a start. He lowered the window.
‘I took a parcel in for you, this morning,’ she said, her face wrinkling up into a frown. ‘It was too big to go through your letterbox. Are you all right? You don’t look very well.’
Aiden got out. He was about to say he was fine, but somehow the concern in her face made him feel even worse. He stood swaying in his driveway.
Emily put a hand on his arm. ‘You’re not all right, are you? Come and sit in my kitchen and I’ll make you a nice cup of tea and you can tell me what’s happened. Was it a bad case you’ve been to?’
He didn’t have the energy to argue so he followed her through her yellow-painted front door into a hallway that smelt of lavender furniture polish. Despite being well past seventy, she trotted ahead of him and pushed open the kitchen door.
‘Now, sit yourself down,’ she bossed, indicating a stool alongside a modern breakfast bar.
Her kitchen wasn’t what he expected. It wasn’t an old lady’s kitchen at all, but a modern affair, with yellow sunflower wallpaper, wooden cupboard doors and a top-of-the-range dishwasher and microwave. On the breakfast bar was a flat white parcel with his name on it.
‘There you are.’ She put a mug of tea beside him and nudged the sugar bowl across. ‘Your colour’s coming back now. You looked right poorly out there for a minute.’
Aiden smiled, despite himself. Emily reminded him of his own gran. She had the same inquisitive chocolate-button eyes and thought tea was the answer to everything. Unlike his gran, though, who’d had short cropped white hair, which she’d said was befitting when you got to a certain age, Emily had a long grey plait, which was coiled on top of her head in a sort of bun. It must take her ages to do that, he thought as she perched on a stool opposite him.
‘What do you think of the kitchen, then? Kate, my youngest granddaughter, designed it for me.’
‘It’s very nice.’
‘Yes, she’s got good taste. Takes after me, see. Only I wanted something modern and I wouldn’t have known where to start. Are you going to open that?’ She glanced at the parcel, which had a label in one corner with the name Perfect Pooches emblazoned in gold across it .
‘I already know what it is. It’s a designer dog collar.’
‘I didn’t know you were getting a dog.’
‘I’m not. It’s for one of the dogs at Duck Pond Rescue.’ Aiden closed his eyes and thought what lousy timing. The dog collar was for Fang. But she’d never see it now. He’d probably never see her again. Never see any of Jade’s animals, come to that. She was hardly going to let a half-crazed vet back onto her premises. He’d be lucky if she didn’t put in an official complaint. How could he have been so bloody stupid?
‘Anyway…’ Emily regarded him over her mug, her head on one side like a bird. ‘Tell me what’s been happening to you this morning. Cruelty case, was it?’
He sighed. She knew what he did because once, when he’d come back from a particularly bad case, he’d confided how much he hated that part of the job.
Since then, she’d taken a keen interest in what he was up to and often timed her outings to coincide with him getting into his jeep so she could interrogate him. To Aiden’s shame, he’d taken to avoiding her. Not because she wasn’t a sweet old dear, but he was normally running late and didn’t have time for the long conversations she was fond of.
‘I’ve done something really stupid.’ He sipped his tea and met her eyes. ‘I’m not sure if I can even bring myself to tell you.’
‘I’ve done plenty of stupid things in my time. Nine times out of ten, we think they’re a lot more stupid than anyone else does.’
‘Not this time.’ He fiddled with the sugar spoon and lowered his eyes. ‘I’ve screwed up big time. I’m in love with this woman and I’ve just blown any chance I ever had with her.’
‘It can’t be all that bad. If she loves you too, you’ll soon sort it out.’
‘That’s the trouble,’ Aiden said bleakly, putting the sugar spoon down with a small clink on the breakfast bar. ‘ I don’t think she’s ever seen me as anything other than her vet. And after this morning, I’ll be lucky if she ever speaks to me again.’
‘The best thing you can do is to go round there and tell her you’re desperately sorry,’ Emily said after Aiden had told her the whole story. ‘Explain you’d had a bad day, a moment of temporary insanity – whatever. If she’s half the woman you say she is, I think she’ll forgive you. Maybe not straight away, but in time.’
‘Should I take flowers?’
‘No, I don’t think you should, love. Just take yourself and convince her you mean it. And don’t forget to apologise to the lodger too. However much you dislike him. The sooner the better.’
Aiden thought about this conversation all afternoon. Emily was right. It wasn’t just his professional reputation on the line, although that was reason enough to go back as soon as possible, it was his friendship with Jade. In every quiet moment, he could hear her shouting, ‘Have you gone completely mad?’ Every time he closed his eyes, he could see her shocked dark eyes. And then the coldness in her face when she’d told him to get out before she called the police.
Finn had looked pretty shocked too. In that moment, just after his fist had connected, he’d been sure Finn would hit him back. Sure he’d see his own furious anger reflected. Yet, there had been no anger in the bloke’s eyes, just a kind of resigned acceptance. It was that expression, as well as Jade’s horror, that was tormenting him.
It was the first time Aiden had ever punched anyone. Violence sickened him. It had done ever since school when he’d been bullied by Terry Bradshaw and his gang – held face down in the mud one sunny winter afternoon because he’d come top in English, biology and maths.
‘Filthy little swot,’ Terry had snarled, tipping his books into the puddle, too, and then stamping on them for good measure.
When his mum had asked him what had happened, he’d told her and she’d gone straight to the headmaster, demanding action.
All the boys had been disciplined and after that he’d been beaten up regularly. Except that the gang were then careful where they put the bruises. Nowhere that showed. His groin or his lower back.
‘Snitch again and you’re dead,’ Terry had told him one terrifying night. ‘And don’t think we don’t know how.’
Aiden had believed them. He’d done his best to keep his head down after that. He still worked hard, but he was careful not to come top in anything again. Academic subjects were a doddle to him. It was easy enough to put in the odd wrong answer, which would keep Terry off his back. When it came to the real thing, he could just fill in the papers properly, secure in the knowledge that none of his classmates would ever know his final exam grades.
In some strange way, though, it was Terry’s bullying that shaped his future career. Aiden had left school with twelve GCSEs and four A Levels and a burning passion to do something that would enable him to protect the vulnerable. He wasn’t sure exactly what. Something in the social services possibly. He knew social workers got a bad press, but he’d be different. Idealistic and desperately shy, he’d got as far as doing the first year of the course. The academic side was a breeze, but he’d found it difficult to form relationships with the other students. He was too insular, too inward-looking, his tutors said. He should lighten up a bit. In the end, Aiden decided that working with people wasn’t for him and left. Then his Uncle Seth had suggested that with his academic background he ought to try and get into veterinary college. It made sense. Aiden didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of it before. Within a month of beginning, he knew he had found his vocation.
But today he’d been the perpetrator of exactly the sort of violence he’d always sworn to oppose. He sat at his kitchen table, which was a lot scruffier and less modern than Emily’s breakfast bar, buried his head in his hands and felt sick. It was just after 8p.m. and he hadn’t eaten all day. Maybe that was the cause of the hollow dizziness in his stomach. Or maybe it was as Emily had said. He wouldn’t feel better until he’d put things right. He couldn’t go up there now because Jade had said they were all going to the Red Lion. On the other hand, he couldn’t wait until tomorrow because if he did, he’d never get any sleep. He decided he’d have to go tonight when they were back from the pub. They wouldn’t be that late. They had an early start the next day. Saturday was one of the rescue’s busiest days.
‘I don’t know about you youngsters, but I think it’s time I headed for bed,’ Ray said, draining the last of his Guinness and clunking the glass back on the table. ‘Quite an eventful day, one way or another.’
Finn glanced at Jade. ‘Are you ready?’
She nodded. She looked strained, but then she had all evening. Earlier, when he’d kissed her, she’d been soft, almost vulnerably open. Now she seemed to be deliberately blocking him out again. Was she regretting it? Or was he being oversensitive?
He took their empty glasses to the bar and walked back to the table, rubbing his eyes. He was tired and his face was sore where Aiden had hit him. Jade stood up as he reached them. She looked a bit lost and he had an urge to put his arm around her, tell her that everything was going to be fine. Maybe when Ray had gone to bed, they’d get the chance to talk. Really talk this time. He’d put off this conversation for long enough.
They walked in silence for the first part of the journey back. There was none of the easiness they’d shared the last time they’d walked home. There were no stars tonight either; clouds covered the sky and the air felt hot and oppressive.
‘How’s your face?’ Jade asked him.
‘Fine now.’
‘I still think you should report that maniac to the police,’ Ray muttered gruffly.
The lights of the cottage came into view as they reached the final stretch of the lane. What had gone wrong? Jade thought. How could Finn be so gentle and warm one moment and so distant the next? Maybe it was because Ray was with them. Maybe this was some sort of macho pretence that he was OK for his father’s benefit.
She wondered what would happen when they got back. Would they just go in this awful, stiff silence to their respective rooms? Maybe it was best if they did. It was obvious Finn was finding the prospect of talking to her a huge ordeal, which, she decided, meant he was regretting kissing her earlier. Tonight, she’d touched his arm and he’d jumped away as though he’d been stung. She didn’t need him to spell things out.
As they reached the hedge that surrounded the cottage, a shadow detached itself and materialised into a figure and Jade, already edgy, jumped out of her skin.
‘Aiden!’
She heard Ray’s sharp intake of breath and she could feel Finn’s sudden tension beside her. ‘What are you doing here?’
Aiden raised both hands, palms facing them. ‘It’s OK. I’m not here to cause trouble. I’ve come to apologise.’ He hesitated, his face shadowy in the moonless night. ‘To all of you. I’m so very sorry about earlier. I just wanted you to know.’
Jade didn’t reply. She glanced at Finn, who’d gone very still as soon as Aiden had stepped out in front of them. Now, he cleared his throat, but he didn’t say anything. There was tension in his shoulders, though, and she noticed he was keeping his distance from Aiden, as if he was worried the vet might suddenly change his tune.
‘That’s all I came to say,’ Aiden went on quietly. ‘I won’t hold you up. I just wanted you to know how sorry I am. I couldn’t have slept otherwise. Of course I appreciate that you’ll be employing another vet. If you still want to use the practice, I’ll make sure someone else responds to your calls.’
He looked diminished and Jade stepped forward so she was facing him. ‘It’s all right,’ she said, looking into his dark, troubled eyes. ‘We know it was out of character. I’m glad you came. We both are.’ Half turning, she included Finn in the conversation and he gave the slightest of nods.
‘Perhaps it would be best if you didn’t come to the rescue for a while, though,’ she said, hating to kick him when he was down, but knowing she owed that much at least to Finn.
‘Of course. Good night.’ He took a few steps away, and then, as if suddenly remembering something, he hesitated. ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I got this for Fang.’
He thrust a package into her hands and then turned and went to his jeep, which was parked out of sight, just beyond the entrance to the rescue. Only when she’d watched his taillights disappear around the bend in the road did Jade feel herself relax .
‘You OK?’ Finn was standing behind her.
‘Yes. You?’ She turned to look at him, but once again his eyes were unreadable.
‘I’m glad I don’t have to keep looking over my shoulder any more. Come on, let’s go in.’
‘Did you still want to have that talk later?’ Finn asked once Ray had headed, yawning, for bed.
‘No, I’m too tired. Like you said earlier, least said, soonest mended.’
‘I said that about Aiden.’
‘Goodnight, Finn,’ she said, without looking at him. ‘And thanks for the meal, I enjoyed tonight.’
He looked defeated, but he left the room, and once again Jade cursed Sarah for putting her in this position. It took every bit of self-control she had not to race after him.