Chapter 13
Spencer
‘Been a bit busy today, have you, Spence?’ asked Lottie as he entered Berry Blooms.
He parked Archie’s pram to one side in the back room. ‘Still had time to bring you lunch. Here.’ He passed her a foil-wrapped plate. ‘Compliments of Ginny.’
Lottie smiled. ‘Ooh, lovely.’
Spencer sat at the large table with her and unwrapped his own plate, but just as he was about to take a bite, Archie whined.
‘Has he had his lunch yet?’ asked Lottie, stretching her neck to take a peek at the baby.
‘Yes. He just wants a cuddle, don’t you, mate?’ Spencer carefully lifted him and sat back down, juggling baby and a slice of onion quiche.
‘Let me eat some of my lunch, then I’ll hold him and you can eat yours.’
‘No, I’m good. You tuck in.’
‘Are you sure about all this, Spence?’
‘Of course. I think I can manage with one hand.’
‘Not that. You inviting Beth and Archie to live with you.’
Spencer gave up trying to stab a piece of cucumber and picked it up with his fingers. ‘It’s just a few days, perhaps a couple of weeks. Beth needs some rest, but she struggled not being around little man here, so it made sense to me. She gets to be around Archie and have some help.’
Lottie lowered her fork. ‘As long as you’re sure. It’s exciting having Archie, but I don’t want you ending up stressed by trying to do everything.’
Archie’s big eyes peered straight at Spencer, making him smile. ‘I’m not stressed.’
‘Just call me or Sam if you need help.’
‘He doesn’t do much yet.’
‘What about on Saturday? You’re supposed to be taking the boys out to earn another badge.’
Spencer glanced at the shopfront. ‘It’s litter picking, Lott. Archie can come with us. He likes going out in his pram.’
‘And what about when you take them camping, fossil hunting, or setting up the festival with them? Archie can’t go along then.’
‘Beth will be okay on her own during those moments. It’s just too much for her doing everything alone while she’s unwell.’
Lottie reached over and tapped his arm. ‘Let her know she can call me though.’
‘I will, and I’m sure she’ll be happy for you to help. I don’t want her thinking we’re taking over, but I’ll let her see how much support she now has, and I know you want to make a fuss.’
Lottie sighed. ‘He’s so gorgeous.’
Spencer glanced down at the snuggled bundle in his arms. ‘He looks like you, especially when you were his age.’
‘You remember so much about your childhood.’ She smiled softly. ‘I don’t think I have a memory before six. In fact, I think my first memory is of Rebecca planting flowers in the back garden.’
‘She loved her flowers,’ he said, looking across at some boxes of ribbon.
‘We were lucky to have her, and Archie is lucky to have you.’ She stroked the part of the blanket where the baby’s foot was tucked beneath.
‘And a lovely aunt like you, Lott.’
‘How did Beth get on at the Hub this morning? Were you busy?’
‘It wasn’t too bad during our shift, and Beth aced it. She came up with adding a baby bank to the food bank. We’re going to discuss it with everyone at dinner on Sunday down the pub.’
‘Great idea.’ Lottie’s smile turned to a frown. ‘You haven’t left her in the Hub alone, have you?’
‘No. As soon as Sophie and Alice came in for their shift, I introduced Beth and Archie, then we left. She’s with Jan now in the café. I thought it best to let them have some time alone so brought little man here. She’ll be along soon.’
‘So should Sam, once he’s stopped faffing with his new office. I swear, ever since Ginny cleared her old flat, he’s been nonstop trying to turn it into the Trust’s headquarters. Almost there. Would have been finished by now had he left walls alone. Wait till you see it, Spence. Looks so much bigger now.’
Spencer’s mind drifted to the farmhouse Ginny and Will had recently moved into. ‘That’s just reminded me. Aren’t we supposed to be having a painting party at Ginny’s one day?’
‘Ooh, yes.’ Lottie snaffled some of her food. ‘She’s flat-out with the tea shop at the moment though, so who knows when she’ll ask for help with that!’
‘A lot has changed, hasn’t it?’ He peered down at his son.
‘Life always changes. Not much we can do but try to keep up.’
Spencer managed to spear some quiche. ‘When Beth comes over, perhaps you could suggest she hangs out here for a bit with you while I go see Debra. She’s got a couple of people she wants me to talk to about the festival. With a nod from these fellas, we should be good to go in April.’
‘Yes, that’s fine. It’s been so quiet in here today, I sent Sarah home early.’
Spencer rolled his eyes. ‘You’re not supposed to send the staff home. What if it picks up?’
‘Then I’d call Sam. It wouldn’t take him a minute to get here. Stop fussing.’
He’d been making sure Lottie had help his whole life. It was a hard habit to break. One of the things at the forefront of his mind was always her. It was just ingrained in him from the moment she was born that she was his responsibility. He’d done nothing but make sure she led a happy, carefree life, even hiding things from her to keep her in a world filled with rainbows and sunlight.
Had he been right, though, to keep her in the dark about things that were part of her life? Looking down at Archie made him think about responsibility once more. So much had changed, and he had made the decision to better himself in every way. Perhaps it was time to tell his sister the truth about their parents.
‘Lottie, there’s something I need to tell you.’
Her eyes were straight on his, paying full attention. He knew she knew all his tones so was looking as serious as him.
‘What’s happened?’
‘Nothing recent. It was just before you went into hospital after your accident. I was going to tell you, but with everything going on, I left it be. And you know how it goes, the longer you leave something, the harder it is.’
‘Seems you want to spit it out now though.’ She was annoyed already, he could tell.
‘Yeah, well, what with Beth and me swapping some tough tales, I figured now might be the time to talk to you. It’s just, I found something out, and I wasn’t going to tell you, but then I was, and that battle went on for a while, then I—’
‘Get to the point. You’re making me nervous.’
‘It’s about her .’ He grimaced at the mere thought of using the word. ‘Mum,’ he forced out through clenched teeth.
Lottie was clearly shocked. It was rare Spencer spoke of their parents. ‘What about her?’
‘She died.’
‘Oh.’ Lottie’s voice was small, unsure.
He waited for her to process the information. It hadn’t bothered him at the time, but it might her. ‘Cancer.’
She looked up from her plate. ‘I understand why you keep things like that from me, but I don’t appreciate it when you treat me like a child. You should have told me at the time.’
‘Does it make that much difference?’ He wasn’t sure why he’d said that, but it was out there now, hanging between them like a bad smell.
‘Of course it makes a difference. What if I wanted to go to her funeral?’
He glared her way for even thinking such a thing. ‘You wouldn’t have been able to. You were in hospital.’
Lottie flicked away some greenery on the table. ‘I might have wanted to send her flowers.’
Spencer’s blood started to boil. ‘Is that right?’
Lottie’s mouth gaped for a moment before she pursed her lips. ‘It would have been my choice to make. Not yours,’ she said, clenching her fists.
Archie murmured, and Spencer wondered if he could pick up on the adrenaline pumping, so he took a calming breath and met his sister’s death glare again.
‘I wouldn’t have,’ she added quietly, softening her features. ‘But it would have still been my choice to make.’
‘I understand.’
‘Actually, you don’t. You’re bossy, Spence, and always think you know what’s best, but you don’t. You don’t get to be in charge of what I should and shouldn’t know. It’s none of your business what I do about situations involving my life.’
Spencer controlled his sigh. ‘I was just protecting you.’
She scoffed. ‘From what exactly? I’m a grown woman, and my bio-mum died. Why do I need protection from that?’
‘I don’t want you to have anything to do with them. Not even knowing if they live or die.’
Lottie tapped her chest. ‘Again, my decision.’
‘If you don’t know, it doesn’t mess with your head.’
She leaned forward. ‘Don’t you get it? This is part of my life. I have every right to know what’s happening in it, good, bad, or downright ugly.’
‘It’s easier if you don’t think of them at all.’
‘For you,’ she said, shoving a finger his way.
Spencer glanced at his son. ‘Let’s not argue in front of the baby, Lott. He’ll pick up on negative vibes.’
Lottie shook her head. Clearly showing she still had the hump even if her voice was now calm. ‘Suddenly the expert?’
‘No. Not suddenly. Funnily enough, I discovered that snippet of information way back when you were his age.’ He let that sink in. Perhaps if she knew the half of it, she’d be a bit more understanding of why he felt the need to shelter her from the big bad world.
Lottie visibly relaxed in her wheelchair. ‘Look, Spence, I know you had it tougher than me, and I know you tried your best to keep me and Jordy safe, but you don’t have to do that anymore.’ Her watery eyes met his. ‘I’m safe now.’
Spencer attempted to swallow the lump wedged in his throat. It was easy for her to tell him to let go, but perhaps if he’d been a better big brother, Jordy would still be alive. He daren’t look down at Archie in case a tear escaped.
‘I’m sorry, Lott. I shouldn’t hide things from you.’
‘You’re the best brother anyone could ask for, Spence,’ she added softly. ‘But you have to let me deal with them my way.’
‘Okay,’ he managed. Taking a deep breath, he looked her way. ‘She was cremated and scattered in the memorial area of a cemetery. If you did want to lay flowers, they have a communal spot there.’
‘Thank you, but I don’t. You see, even though I went through stages growing up where I was curious about them, I never wanted to cross the line that led me back into their lives. Rebecca told me years ago that our dad would never get out after he was convicted of that other murder he’d committed in prison. So, if he’s also dead, you might as well spit that out.’
‘I’ve not heard anything, so I assume he’s still alive, rotting hopefully.’
Lottie sighed. ‘You can’t control everything. So stop trying to get your ducks in a row. Life is messy, and we just have to figure it out as we go. There is no straight path. I honestly believed you’d changed last year. That you’d finally had a breakthrough and stood up to your demons.’
‘I have changed. That’s why I wanted to get that off my chest. I’m not the person I was, and I don’t carry baggage around with me anymore. Well, not as much. I see you happy with Sam, and I know he loves you, and that settles me. I watched you take back control of your life after you were told you’d never walk again, and your strength gave me courage. I am different now, Lott, and I’m liking this man I see in the mirror.’
Lottie huffed quietly. ‘Well, it’s about time.’
He watched Archie’s eyes fluttering to a close. ‘I know I’ll probably struggle not to be one of those helicopter parents, but I won’t raise him the way I did you, because I’m not afraid for him. He’s safe.’
‘And he’s loved.’
He smiled her way.
‘And you’re loved, Spence,’ she added. ‘And worthy of love. Don’t forget that when you’re getting to know Beth.’
‘Oh, there won’t be anything like that between us. This is just about being helpful and giving support.’
Lottie smiled. ‘Just in case. It’s worth knowing that you can have a long-lasting, loving relationship with a partner.’
‘I’m not looking for love.’
Lottie picked up her fork to finish her lunch. ‘Perhaps it’s time you let your heart take over from that busy mind of yours. It’ll be interesting to see what happens then.’
‘No thanks. I’ve seen the way you and Sam go all dreamy-eyed every time you look at each other. I mean, seriously, Lott, anyone would think you’re living in a fairy tale.’
Lottie beamed as the bell above the shop door jingled and Sam announced his arrival. ‘I am. And one day, you will know exactly what that feels like.’
Yeah, right!