Chapter 24
Beth
Beth wasn’t sure what time Spencer would be home from camping, and as she hadn’t heard from him all day, she decided to make a cold dinner of hard-boiled eggs, ham, salad, and potato salad. At least if he’d already eaten, it would keep in the fridge for the next night.
Archie was settled on a spongey mat in a small round playpen, staring up at a musical mobile. He’d been fed and bathed, and Beth hadn’t once felt stressed or pressured to meet any deadlines she’d created. In fact, since living with Spencer, she’d stopped trying to make Archie fit into routines, finding working around him instead slightly easier.
Beth started to hum along to the baby music as she chopped lettuce. It was nice to have a proper appetite back, and her energy. She was enjoying cooking again, pottering around Spencer’s small kitchen.
She’d had a good day spending time at Ginny’s, then seeing Jan for a chat. She’d popped back to her flat to pick up some more clothes, and while there contemplated doing her own decorating. After seeing the farmhouse, and dreaming of such a cosy home, inspiration had hit. If she just poured some love into her own place, she was sure she’d feel better about living there.
‘I think it’s because we haven’t been there long,’ she told Archie, peering his way. ‘I’ll speak to your dad about helping make the place homely.’
She put the chopping knife down and went over to the playpen. If only Archie could tell her what would make him happy. He seemed happy. His eyes shifted from the mobile to her, and all she saw was Spencer for a moment.
‘Do you prefer living here?’ she asked quietly, as though someone might overhear.
Archie went back to staring at the dangling teddy bears.
Beth glanced around the room. It was silly to think she could stay with Spencer forever. Maybe she was just nervous about being on her own again. She decided to bring up the subject with Jan at their next session.
Feeling proud about having coped quite well while Spencer was away, Beth practically skipped back to the kitchen to finish preparing dinner. It was so nice to feel alive again. Wow, what a difference the last few weeks had made. She was starting to believe going back to work after maternity leave was doable, as she was sure at one point she would quit her job and spend the rest of her life curled up in a ball in the corner of the bedroom.
Beth smiled at the pastel-blue jug filled with pink tulips on the windowsill in front of her. She couldn’t look at a flower now without thinking of Spencer. Speaking of which . . . She turned to the door on hearing it open.
Spencer entered, dropping his holdall on the spot while kicking off his boots. He smiled, but it looked as tired as the rest of his pale face.
‘You okay?’ Beth stepped closer, inspecting him from head to toe.
His shoulders hunched as he sighed. ‘I’m whacked.’
‘Long drive, was it? Traffic bad?’
‘No. We actually came back earlier than expected, but I’ve been at the centre . . . forever.’ He flopped onto a kitchen chair, and Beth went to the fridge to fetch some orange juice, thinking he needed a boost.
‘You don’t look very well, Spence.’ She placed the glass in front of him, then put one hand on his forehead.
Spencer’s head dipped slightly as he closed his eyes. ‘I’m okay,’ he mumbled.
Beth removed her hand and sat to his side. ‘Drink your juice.’
He sat up a bit and took a sip. ‘Ryan bruised his arm.’
‘Oh no. How did he manage that?’
‘Slipped.’
Beth sat in silence while Spencer explained what had happened at rock climbing. She was relieved Ryan was okay. Spencer, not so much.
‘Let’s get some dinner in you,’ she told him, moving to the worktop to plate up some food. ‘Put some energy back.’
‘Thanks,’ came a feeble reply.
Beth quickly sorted their food while Spencer went over to say hello to Archie.
‘Oh, he’s asleep.’ Spencer sat on the sofa and pressed his head back, closing his eyes. ‘Seems like a good plan.’
Without trying to disturb him too much, Beth draped a blanket over his legs, then went to fetch their food. She sat by his side, plate on lap, and placed his to her side.
‘I smell food.’
She grinned at his half-smile. ‘I can feed you if you’re that tired. Even do aeroplane noises like you do for Archie with his bottle.’
His grin widened. ‘Don’t tempt me.’
Beth averted her eyes as his opened. She raised her fork to her mouth as he shifted and took his plate.
‘Thanks for dinner,’ he said softly. It seemed as though he was going to say something else, but his head lowered as his hand lifted to support his chin.
Immediately, Beth placed both their plates on the floor and shuffled closer to his side. ‘Hey, it’s okay.’
‘It’s just . . . It was so . . . Annette was . . .’ He sighed slowly and heavily.
Beth started to rub circles on the top of his back, hoping to soothe his weary soul. It was obvious Ryan’s accident was affecting him more than he had said. ‘It’ll be okay.’
‘I don’t want the centre getting negative reviews because Ryan bruised his arm on my watch. I feel terrible, Beth.’
She pressed her head against his shoulder for a moment. ‘It’s not your fault. Annette will calm down and see it for the accident it was.’
‘I’ll find out at the meeting, but I won’t hold my breath. Jeez, you should have heard her. It’s like all that matters in her life is Ryan being in the Olympics one day.’ He raked a hand through his copper locks, then turned his head to gaze her way.
Beth stopped stroking his back. ‘I guess it’s their dream.’
Spencer scoffed. ‘Her dream.’
‘You don’t think it’s Ryan’s?’
Flopping back into the sofa, Spencer sighed. ‘Ryan told his mum he didn’t want to swim, all because I told him he should let his mum know how he feels. Annette didn’t listen. She just blamed me for putting the idea in his head.’ He groaned quietly. ‘I feel absolutely shattered.’
Beth lifted a plate to his lap. ‘Eat something, and I’ll run you a bath.’
Spencer sniffed his armpit. ‘Trying to tell me something?’
It was good to see his humour was still in there. ‘Trying to help you relax.’
He glanced at his dinner. ‘I’m too wound up.’
‘Do you want me to show you one of the techniques I learned?’
A droopy smile appeared just before he nodded. ‘Go on then.’
Beth removed his plate again and told him to lie flat as she slid to the floor at his side.
‘I feel better already.’
She nudged his foot. ‘Close your eyes and follow the instructions.’
‘Yes, Miss Horton,’ he whispered.
‘We’re going to start with your feet, then work our way up to your head.’
‘Are you going to massage me?’
Beth smiled to herself, then thought it best not to think about her hands all over him. ‘Sort of.’
Spencer yawned, stretching his limbs. ‘Okay, I’m ready.’
‘I want you to scrunch your toes, then release, then take a moment to think about the difference between tension and relaxation.’
He did as he was told.
‘Now, stiffen your legs and release. Think about the difference.’ She waited a beat, then tried not to giggle as she told him to clench his bum. ‘Now tighten your stomach . . . And relax. Note the way your body feels when relaxed.’
Spencer’s chest lifted and fell steadily as he continued to tighten parts of his body and then relax them.
‘Clench your fists,’ she said quietly, trying to make her voice sound soothing. ‘Now, your shoulders.’
He rolled his neck from side to side before stretching his mouth and scrunching his eyes, as instructed.
Beth continued to say the same thing over and over, reminding him to take note of the difference in tension and relaxation. There was something else she wanted to try while he was settled. It was something Lola had taught her at the parent and baby club. ‘Spencer, is it okay if I touch your face now?’ she asked quietly.
A slow smile appeared along with a consenting groan.
Beth crawled over to his head so she was looking down at him from behind. She placed her fingertips on his eyebrows and lightly massaged around the area before moving to his temples.
Spencer grumbled his approval.
Part of her wanted to lean over and kiss his head, but she told herself off for the thought and carried on massaging his cheekbones.
‘Beth,’ he mumbled. ‘I feel better, thank you.’
She removed her fingers and stared at his face for a moment.
‘I’m just going to rest here for a bit,’ he added. ‘Please, eat your dinner.’
‘Okay. I’ll put yours in the fridge.’ She got up to do that, then went to check on Archie before turning back to Spencer. They were both sleeping, so she covered Spencer with the blanket, took Archie to his cot, then sat and had her dinner alone. Only, she didn’t feel alone. She felt part of something wonderful. A family.