Forty-one
The day of Gill’s monthly lunch date had rolled around again, and she was dreading the inquisition she was sure to suffer, now both Poppy and Liz knew about her and Joe. It was Poppy’s turn to host the group, and Gill knew full well her friend would want to know more about how her relationship was progressing, as would Liz – finding her own happy ever after had only dented Liz’s love of gossip for a short time. Gill knew she shouldn’t malign her friend. Liz had a good heart. But, like Poppy, now she was in a happy relationship, she wanted the same for all her friends. It had been better when all four of them were single , Gill thought. At least then, there had been no invidious comparisons. Now, only Rachel and Gill were unattached, and she was seeing Joe, even though there could be no future in it unless… But Gill didn’t dare think of the possibility of an amicable divorce settlement. It seemed as far off as ever.
‘Guess what, Mum?’ Freya breezed into the kitchen as Gill was having breakfast.
What now ? Freya seemed to hurtle from one idea to another these days, and she was still spending time with Rory, Gary and Mandy, and insisting she and Rory were only good mates. Maybe she was speaking the truth.
Without waiting for a response, Freya waved her phone at her mother. ‘I have an interview in Sydney next week.’
Gill stared at her daughter. She remembered Freya mentioning she was going to check out Australian universities, but had she said anything about making applications? Had Gill been so caught up in her own issues she’d failed to listen properly to her daughter?
‘I’m sorry, Mum. I didn’t say anything in case it came to nothing. When I checked it out, I found ads for positions in Sydney and Hobart. Sydney have replied first. There was nothing in Queensland,’ she added, as if reading Gill’s mind.
‘Sydney’s not too far away, better than California,’ Gill said. ‘I’m happy for you.’
‘If I’m successful, I’d start at the beginning of next year, so you’ll still have to put up with me till then,’ she grinned.
‘I think I can manage it. You were talking about tutoring?’
‘I haven’t done anything about it yet. Gary suggested I can help him out with admin stuff at the dive school, and with the kitesurfing. I might do that.’
‘Okay.’ It wasn’t what she imagined her daughter doing but would keep her occupied – and in Pelican Crossing – until she could start at the university, always providing she was offered the position.
‘I’m optimistic about this, Mum. It’s a great school, and my old prof is Head of School, so fingers crossed.’ She held up her crossed fingers.
‘I hope you’re right.’ It would be wonderful to know Freya was in Australia, only a plane-ride away. She could come home regularly, and Gill could visit. She liked the harbour city.
‘You’re seeing your friends today, aren’t you?’
‘Yes, our monthly lunch… at Poppy’s today.’
‘Mandy said. You know she’s pregnant? Another baby! I can’t seem to get away from them.’
‘You’ll have one of your own one day,’ Gill said, picturing the grandchild she’d always hoped for.
‘Not for ages. I intend to focus on my career. I told you… I’m done with men.’
‘Hmm.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You seem to be seeing a lot of Rory.’
‘He’s only a good mate. I told you. He’s not interested in me in that way, either.’
Gill decided it was best not to pursue the conversation. Freya might be telling the truth. ‘What are your plans for today?’
‘I thought I’d drop over to the dive school to see what Gary had in mind for me to do, then I might go for a swim. I intend to make the most of my time here in Pelican Crossing. Once I start working again in earnest, I won’t have much time to relax.’
When Freya had left, Gill made herself another cup of lemon and ginger tea and took it out onto the balcony. She’d thought about Joe a lot since their lunch together, worried she might have ruined what could have been something special. But they had agreed to keep seeing each other, so perhaps all was not lost. She just felt so confused. Now she was alone, she admitted she had feelings for Joe, feelings so strong they scared her. What if, despite what he said, even if he believed it, his weren’t as strong? What if his feelings for her paled in comparison with what he still felt for Barb? She’d had enough trouble competing with Max’s women. They were alive. She couldn’t face competing with one who was dead. Perhaps she should have ended it, finished it before she became any more invested in the relationship.
By the time Gill had finished her tea, she was no further forward in her thinking. She went inside, changed into the bright pink and orange dress that always made her feel good, and applied her makeup, determined to put on a brave face.
*
Liz was already there when Gill arrived at Poppy’s house on the clifftop, the two women seated on Poppy’s deck with glasses of white wine, Poppy’s little West Highland Terrier lying at their feet.
‘Here she is,’ Liz said, when Gill walked in.
Had they been talking about her ? Gill’s suspicions were confirmed when as soon as she had poured Gill a glass of wine, Poppy said, ‘We were just talking about you.’
Gill flinched. It was what she’d been afraid of. Why had she come ? But staying away would have sent a worse message. The four of them had been meeting like this for the past thirty years, and it took a major catastrophe for one of them to miss lunch. Liz had missed one earlier in the year when the daughter she’d given up for adoption had appeared in town. But, apart from that, Gill couldn’t remember an occasion when the four of them hadn’t got together. Even when the other three had been pregnant again, they’d managed to catch up.
Luckily, Rachel arrived just then, so Gill was spared the conversation she knew would take place at some time during their meal. There was a little confusion, while Rachel greeted Poppy’s little dog, Poppy poured Rachel’s wine, then disappeared to check the oven.
‘We were just about to ask Gill about her and our mayor,’ Liz said, ‘but we should wait till Poppy comes back.’
Gill gave a sigh of relief at her reprieve, but it was short-lived. When Poppy returned carrying a bowl of salad and a dish of pasta, and once they were all seated at the table, Liz asked, ‘Well, what do you have to tell us, Gill?’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Gill said, hoping to buy time while she worked out how much to divulge.
‘You and the mayor.’
‘Joe? He… we… we’re friends. Aren’t we allowed to be friends without being a source of gossip?’
‘That’s not what Poppy said.’ Liz glanced across to where Poppy was looking embarrassed.
What had Poppy said ?
Poppy shifted awkwardly in her seat. ‘I only said how we’d gone sailing together, then had dinner at Crossings … and how you and Joe seemed like a good match. I haven’t seen him with anyone since Barb passed. It was good to see him looking happy… you too.’
Gill swallowed. She couldn’t fault Poppy. It was true. They had gone sailing, had dinner at Crossings. It had been the perfect day, then… She blushed at the memory of what happened later, or what might have happened if Freya hadn’t returned when she did. Had it only been three days ago? ‘Not everything’s what it seems,’ she said, hoping to stave off further questions.
‘But…’ Liz began.
‘Leave Gill alone,’ Rachel said. ‘Can’t you see you’re embarrassing her? Remember how you felt when you and Finn started seeing each other, Liz? You weren’t so eager to talk about it then, either.’
Liz appeared chastened. ‘Sorry, Gill. We’re only interested because we love you, but if you don’t want to talk about it…’ She made the sign of locking her lips and throwing away the key.
Gill was forced to laugh. ‘I know that, Liz, but it’s a bit too soon to say anything… and remember, I’m still married. You were a free agent when you and Finn got together.’
‘But…’
‘Liz!’ Rachel warned.
‘Sorry,’ Liz said again.
‘How’s Mandy going?’ Poppy asked. ‘She must be what… around six months by now?’
‘Due in the New Year,’ Liz said, and the conversation moved on to Mandy’s pregnancy and grandchildren in general.
Gill was relieved. The conversation didn’t annoy her as much as talk about grandchildren normally did. She was just glad she and Joe were no longer the topic of the conversation. But it didn’t stop her thinking about him, wondering when she’d hear from him again, and how she’d react when she did.