19. Turnover #2
“The last night we were together…” Her heart skipped a few beats, sinking into her gut as she relived the moment she’d been refusing to think about since it happened. The stupid L-word had nearly passed her lips so many times that night.
His wicked grin as she’d walked into his house that night. Curled up together watching the game, his hand resting easy on her bare legs; a mindless gesture for him no doubt, but the effortless affection had shaken her. Then when they’d gotten to his bedroom…
She wasn’t even going there. She still couldn’t handle the volcano of unspoken emotions that had erupted between them, even during the quiet of the night, snuggled up on the cramped bed.
Dipping her brush back in the paint, she continued, “Anyway. He made me laugh. Taught me how to throw with power. Reminded me that I’m strong, not because he wanted me to be, but because I had it in me. Okay, I sound crazy now. Probably reading way too much into things.”
“Let’s pretend for a minute that you weren’t married to a jerk for the last decade. That the timing was perfect. You feel like you, confident and vivacious. Would things have worked out?”
“Probably not. He might be moving anyway. Honestly, I’m not sure that he wants to, he seems to really love tending bar at his family’s pub.
But he’s got a few interviews for coaching positions all over the country.
And he’s been through so much, still so heartbroken, I don’t think he’s any more ready than I am. ”
Trace bumped her roller against the ceiling, then cussed. “Sorry.” She grabbed the ladder and a damp rag to wipe up the mess. “Did he, I mean… tell me this. Do you think he loves you?”
Haley shrugged, holding the paintbrush still for fear of hitting the trim.
Heavy conversation might have been a bad idea while painting.
“I don’t know. But I know we meant more to each other than either of us intended.
” She sighed, setting her brush on the tray, then plopped her butt down on the drop cloth.
“He’s nicer than I deserve. All the while I’m ragging on Nate, Finn has nothing but good things to say about his ex; blames himself for messing up with her. ”
Pausing, Trace pulled her roller from the wall.
Lowering it, she stepped back and cleared her throat.
“I’m sure it’s not entirely his fault.” She pushed her roller in the tray and loaded up more paint, inhaling as she methodically applied the layer.
“I guess sometimes it comes down to the details. How could you tell you meant something to him? I’m curious.
I could never tell with… well, with my last relationship. ”
Heaviness churned in Haley’s chest. She hugged her knees and looked out the window at the trees whipping with the wind outside.
“Little things. Everything. I guess it’s hard to say.
He was just so easy to be with. Affection was natural and unforced.
We could talk for hours about nothing and everything.
And I’ve never had anyone look at me like he looked at me.
” A chime at the doorbell startled her. “Sorry, it’s probably Patricia again.
She has notoriously the worst timing. Even narrowly missed walking in on us once. ”
Checking her feet were clear of paint, Haley dashed down the stairs and swung open the door.
On her front porch, markedly haggard with his hair in a spiraled mess around his cowlick, his brown eyes were weary, and his ancient USC t-shirt had a new rip in the hem. “Hey,” he said. His Mustang was parked in the middle of the driveway, not hidden in her garage like usual.
“Hey.”
“Can I come in?” He shoved his hands in his pockets as she desperately wished he’d reach for her, pulling her in for an urgent kiss like he had so many other times in her doorway.
“Sure. I’m, uh, painting, so I can’t visit long.”
He nodded. “I won’t stay. I just wanted to see if you were all set to head down to finalize the divorce, and to let you know I’ll be out of town for a few weeks.”
“Okay.” She nodded, her head bobbing like an idiot.
“I, uh, scheduled a few interviews. Got a call from USC too.”
“Wow, that’s great,” she said, heartily meaning it. “What is that, three teams now?”
“Yeah,” he said as he shifted his weight on his feet. “I’ve also got an interview with ESPN.”
“That’s so great.” She was turning into a bobble-headed agreeable moron. “Scott must be thrilled.”
He shrugged, his hands still wedged in his pockets. “He’s on cloud nine. Anyway, I’m trying to line them all up and get it over with. Lund, hell, he’d asked if he could put my name out there, and I suspect he actively advertised.”
Resisting the urge to hook her arms around his middle and not let go, she jammed her hands in her own pockets. “I’m glad you’re exploring all of your options. Will it make you happy, being in the football world however you can?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. I’m happy where I’m at, but Pops seems to think I can’t truly decide that until I see what all is out there, so I promised him I’d check it out.” His jaw ticked rapidly, clenching tight again.
Haley hated whatever weirdness was between them, but didn’t doubt they both realized they’d better pull back or they’d irretrievably fall in. “Aside from playing, if you could pick anything in the world, starting all over again, what would you do?”
“Hell, I don’t know.” His smile softened, his eyes rested on hers. “I genuinely don’t know. The last ten years have been a whirlwind. Great, but intense. The last few weeks, I feel like… I don’t know. Settled.”
Haley swallowed the thrill at his words, that she was what he wanted, also swallowing the bile, regretting that he wasn’t what she needed. And vice versa. She was so far off from being settled.
He exhaled, then looked around before speaking again. “Haley, there’s something else I’ve been needing to tell you before… About my—”
As he spoke, Trace came down the stairs. Finn froze solid like he saw a ghost. “Trace?”
“Hi, Finn.” She paused on the last step, leaned against the rail, biting her lips together.
Haley looked to Finn and back to Trace, making the obvious connection. Her face fell as she took in just how much deeper into shits-ville this rebound thing had descended.
Awkward was a drop in the damn bucket of the epic cluster her life was becoming.
Trace’s brow furrowed as she studied Haley and Finn, standing inches apart, longing sparks zapping between them.
She whispered, “Haley, I had no idea until a few minutes ago. I’m not…
Please don’t think this changes anything between you and me or you and Finn. ”
Finn ran his hand through his hair, guilt radiating off his blushing cheeks.
The metallic taste of blood seeped over her tongue as Haley bit down on her cheek. “You knew?” She seethed as she watched Finn’s reaction.
His jaw clenched so tight she could hear his teeth grinding together, he exhaled cautiously and said, “I found out that day at the hike, you mentioned Trace over lunch. I wanted to tell you… shit, this sounds like a lame excuse, but I hadn’t found a good time to tell you.
Just now I was trying to… I mean, you fell down that cliff, and then the concussion, and then Nate, and well…
after the other night at my place… it didn’t seem as critical anymore. ”
“What?” She hollered, shocked at the glass-breaking rage in her voice. “That it wouldn’t matter that I was sleeping with my friend’s boyfriend?”
“Whoa.” He put his arms out to calm things down. “Ex. Ex-boyfriend.”
“Friends don’t do that, ex or not. I wouldn’t have imagined you were rebounding from someone I even knew , but my oldest friend?
That happens to be a positive part of my life now that I’m free of that asshole?
One of the few girlfriends I’ve had in my life that wasn’t screwing my husband?
” Adrenaline pumping through every inch of her body, she paced like a gorilla at the zoo, then stood and glared out the great room window out at the forest beyond.
Finn ran to catch up. “Haley, it’s not… you know what? It doesn’t matter. I fucked up. I should have said something the moment I realized.”
Standing back, Trace walked halfway to them, then stopped, her arms wrapped around her middle. “Guys? I’m sorry if I’m butting in on something. I’ve been gone and clearly a lot’s happened. Haley, yeah, Finn and I have a history, but we broke up before I left town. No hard feelings. Clean break.”
Finn reached a hand for her, his brow scrunched, jaw clenched, but Haley stepped back, muttering, “I can’t.”
Her stupid phone rang again. Not giving a damn at this point, as her day couldn’t get much worse, she answered.
“Haley?” Her lawyer sounded apologetic already.
Icing on the damn cake. She was flying down tomorrow for what should be their last mediation.
He’d better not have any last-minute changes.
Nate would know she’d be done with this whole charade and accept about anything.
“I wanted to give you a heads up before you arrive. Nate is countering. He’s claiming you were having an affair with some football player and says he’s got documentation of a significant amount of funds you spent on this guy. ”
“What? That’s not true, and if it were, have I asked him for one red cent that he spent on his many affairs?” Her vision turned red.
“I’m preparing a response, detailing the funds he’s spent on his own infidelities.
He won’t get away with it. California’s a no-fault divorce state, so the worst he can do is reduce your share, but he will need to present adequate proof, and this might turn into nickel and diming, which could add on another six to twelve weeks.
Don’t sweat this, Haley, I’m on it. I didn’t want you to come in blindsided.
We’re going to stop this. Nate doesn’t want to go to trial any more than you do. ”
She flashed back to the weeks following their wedding. Let’s put all the accounts in both our names. I’m better with numbers, so it makes sense.
“Okay. Thanks.” She ended the call. Trace was still in the middle of the room, her feet mobile as she decided whether to go or stay.
Legs drooping like a leaky faucet, Haley wanted to collapse.
Strong arms wrapped around her before she could.
Finn pulled her against him and whispered in her ear.
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have come out that day and let him see me with you, but that son of a bitch was so damn smug, I wanted to piss him off.
” He pulled back and cradled her jaw in his hands.
“You are so much stronger than he is. Than anyone I know. Even if he gets away with this, you’re not alone.
We’ll make it work. Do you want me to fly down?
As a witness? As a friend? I can pull my financial records, alibis, whatever you need. ”
She wanted to hide in bed and not wake up until it was over. “No, thanks. I’m going to call Sophie and see if she can help compile everything, and maybe I’ll be able to find where he’s getting his numbers.”
He pressed his lips to her forehead and wrapped his arms around her again. For a moment, she let herself sink in. Standing in the sun-soaked great room, she let herself pretend she could hold on forever.
She caught Trace heading out the front door in of the corner of her eye.
Finn backed up, releasing her hand only when he was too far away to hold on. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but didn’t. Instead, his chest rose and fell, then he turned and walked out.