Chapter 6
CHAPTER 6
N ina leaned her back against the cool tiles of the downstairs bathroom. In her line of vision was the huge shower that at times they had shared, screened off by glass blocks. When she’d moved in with Ethan, the bathroom had been stark but she’d softened it with wooden shelves where plant pots were now perched with trailing leaves. She’d added muted colours via soft towels, folded inside a wicker shelf unit, to emulate the ambience of a boutique spa. The room always smelled of the eucalyptus shower gel she loved. Her phone dinged with a text and she glanced at it. Jaz had replied to her message.
I’m dropping the kids back home. Shall I come over?
Nina sighed then heard the sound of Ethan’s car. He’d stormed off after her revelation. It wasn’t exactly the response she’d hoped for and it had left her shaking. She’d called after him but he’d shouted out that he needed time alone to think. She had no idea where he’d gone but as he was back so soon, she guessed he’d simply driven off in his Maserati and parked up somewhere.
She replied to Jaz:
Ethan’s back. Don’t come. I’ll message later.
She placed the phone on the soft rug she was sitting on and then heaved herself up from the floor and rushed for the toilet again. Afterwards, she cleaned her teeth as she watched her reflection in the mirror. Her dark hair was stuck to her tear-stained face and her eyes were bloodshot. She didn’t think she’d ever looked so dreadful in her entire life. She spat out the toothpaste, pulled her hair off her face then splashed it with water. She didn’t want to continue the discussion with Ethan in the bathroom and hoped a cup of tea would settle her stomach. With her head held high, she opened the bathroom door.
As she walked out, Ethan was taking the wooden slatted stairs to the upper level. She stood at the bottom and he stared down at her from mid-way up.
He took slow steps down the stairs towards her. “Look, babe, sorry to run off like that. I’m in total shock. We never talked about us having kids.”
“We’ve spoken about the future a lot, over the years, about us getting married and having a family life.” Nina felt fear seep into her veins.
“When did we discuss kids?” He reached out and took one of her hands.
“Admittedly a lot more in the early days and especially the night you proposed to me!”
“Did I?” He dropped her hand and frowned as if he was attempting to recall the memory.
Seeing him looking stressed softened her and she spoke in a steady voice. “Look, it’s a real shock to me too. But it could be a good thing.” She smiled but felt her cheeks quivering. “We needed something to come along and get us to set a date for our wedding.”
“I think you’re jumping the gun. First, we have to discuss if this is something we both want to go ahead with. It should be a joint decision.”
“How many times have you said, after an event, ‘That’s one to tell the grandkids’? You don’t get grandkids without first becoming parents.” She steadied herself against the end of the banister.
“That’s just a turn of phrase!” he said. “But kids, now? I’d prefer to be mid-forties. We’re still so young.”
Nina turned away from him as her stomach churned. She needed something in it otherwise she would be back in the bathroom.
Ethan followed her. “Most of the guys I know in the industry aren’t having kids until they’re at least late-forties, even fifties. Most guys are out living the high life. With the money I’ve got now, we can live in a beautiful apartment block with a gym and swimming pool. I can even afford a boat. We can take trips out and explore, you love scuba diving. There’s so much of the world we haven’t seen.”
She turned around, her mind swimming.
He gestured at her. “We can’t stop now. Just when we’ve made it!” He lowered his voice. “I get it, you’ve lost your seat on the council, the shop hasn’t turned a profit for a couple of years. It might seem attractive, a new era, but we’ve still got so much of the current era to live before we tie ourselves down.”
“It’s just as much of a shock to me as it is you but I’m curious, these men you know, how old are their wives?”
“Well…” He trailed off as the realisation sunk in.
“I’m guessing they’re much younger,” Nina said, trying to sound a lot calmer than she felt, wanting to keep the conversation level-headed, especially as Ethan was flying out of the country the following morning.
“Some women have kids later in life,” Ethan said.
“It’s rare for them to be in their fifties.” She turned around and filled up the kettle.
“I didn’t mean we’d have to be fifty, but forties. To be honest, I’ve never imagined kids involved with us.” He approached her and held her from the back and spoke into her ear. “I love you, Nina. It’s been just you and me, we’re a pair. I want to be with you forever, you know that.” He turned her around and looked into her eyes. “And yes, let’s set the date for the wedding before we move to Qatar. And no, I’m no going to trade you in for a younger model later on, in case that’s what you were thinking. I can’t imagine us ever being apart. You know you’re all I ever wanted and all I need.” He kissed her on the forehead then held her close. “Everything is perfect in our relationship, just the way it is.”
Nina shut her eyes, feeling his warm body against hers. She’d missed him so much, but at the same time, she felt sick in her stomach. “I’m not sure how I would feel about a…well…to lose it.”
Ethan stepped back and wiped the solitary tear which was making its way down her cheek. “It’s not a child, babe. Come on, be real, it’s just a speck.” He smiled at her. “A mate of mine had the same issue. See the doc as soon as possible, it could be sorted with a pill. No different to birth control.”
Nina didn’t tell him her expectation was that this pregnancy was long past the time when a pill would make a difference. Ethan’s phone dinged with a text which he replied to.
He looked up at her. “We’ll take a holiday before we move to Qatar, you’ll feel better about it. Look,” he said, lifting his phone with a grin. “I’ve just signed the deal of my life. My advance for the job has just hit my account. It’s seven figures.” He showed her the screen. “Look at the bank balance.” He stepped away, as if the whole pregnancy subject had been dealt with. “Thousands of people will use this building, people will work there, some will live there, some will stay there in a hotel on the sixteenth to twentieth floors. They plan to have five restaurants, one of which will be on the top with stunning views. We’re a part of something big and I want us to do this together. I’m sorry you’re going through this and I wish I could be with you to help you through it.”
“Ethan, apart from the pregnancy, I’ve still got the shop. And I’m not sure I want to live in Qatar.”
He took both of her hands. “Forgive me for being so focussed on this, but this is it, the contract we’ve been waiting for. Six years of living the life and then, yes, we’ll come back here and revisit the child thing. You’ll still be young enough. But right now, this year and for at least the next four, I’m committed to this project. I get why you’re hesitant, but don’t worry. We’ll find a way. I love you, babe.”
Nina felt too choked up to explain that she’d missed more than one period, the baby was not a speck. She had never imagined the missed periods were a pregnancy; it was usual for her to miss periods when she was stressed. But she could talk no longer. It would have to wait.
“Come on, you look tired,” Ethan said. “Let’s watch a film and it’ll all be fine in the morning. Go to the doctor for that pill. I’m off for a fortnight and then when I’m away we can video chat and do a proper plan, just as you like, with a date for the wedding. It’s going to be best to bring the wedding forward so our friends and family can come. And it’ll be better for us in Qatar if we’re married. The 2030s can be family time.” He gestured around him. “And we’ll need to let this place out.”
Nina let him lead her away with still so much to explain. A two-week break apart would be good – at least time for her to get an ultrasound and then she could comprehend the whole situation herself. After all, it was only an hour or so since she’d found out herself. Then she could revisit the subject with Ethan. As much as he did not want to commute long-haul to Qatar, she’d have to convince him that would be exactly what he’d have to do – and she was sure he would realise that once he’d had a chance to fully understand the predicament they were in.
Later, as Ethan snored on the sofa, she covered him with a blanket and set an alarm on his phone for five a.m. then quietly went upstairs. She plonked herself on the bed and texted Jaz.
I’m fine. Ethan’s booked a car at six, he’s off to Qatar. I’ll call you when I’m up.
Nina slept surprisingly well. When she woke, she found a note from Ethan on the pillow beside her.
Didn’t wake you. Let me know how it goes. I’ll call as soon as I’m in my hotel. Love you and can’t wait for our new chapter x
Nina wondered whether he had his head in the sands of a Qatar desert or whether he really was that insensitive to her feelings. The doorbell chimed. She rose from her bed and looked out of the window to see the familiar red Audi TT – it was Jaz. She glanced at her phone which she had switched to silent and saw that Jaz had been texting her.
Downstairs she opened the door.
“Hun, I was worried, I know you told me to wait.”
“It’s fine, come in.”
“I don’t believe it,” Jaz said as she stepped over the threshold and followed Nina, her stilettos tapping on the wooden floors.
“I just need the bathroom,” Nina said as she felt the nausea rise.
Back in the kitchen area, Nina filled the kettle. “Thanks for coming over. I had no energy to explain to Ethan that I can’t simply take a tablet and make it all go away. And there’s more to it. My family has a history of early menopause, it’s the reason I’m an only child. This could be my one chance.”
“He needs to step up!” Jaz said. “What’s he doing flying off again?”
“He’s got tunnel vision with this building. Once he’s processed the information, I’m sure he’ll see it differently. He’ll know there’s only one option.” Nina realised she was making excuses for Ethan but her loyalty for him ran too deep to not believe in him.
“Are you sure you want to go through with it?” Jaz said.
Nina leaned against the kitchen worktop. “I really have no choice even if I wanted to. I’m too pregnant for that. I’ve got a scan this Thursday. They’ll be able to tell me how far gone I am, but I think it’s months, not weeks.”
“Wow. I totally get you.”
“It might not be too far gone as far as the law is concerned, but it’s too far gone for me to be comfortable with. And anyway, this could really be my only chance. My mother was nagging me about starting a family and that’s why I went to the doctor, because with hot flushes and a paused period, I was convinced I’d started the menopause.”
“What a shocker. When was your last period?”
“I don’t know, maybe as long ago as February.”
Jaz plonked herself on a stool. “Wow. And you didn’t know?”
“I was so busy with the run up to the election I thought it was stress. My periods often stop when I’m under pressure. They stopped during the last election.”
“Don’t worry, hun, Ethan will change his mind once he knows the full facts.”
“I don’t want to bring my child up in Qatar. I want us to be near our extended family, but I guess I might not have any choice.”
“Sumitra would be upset if you left. But it wouldn’t be forever.”
“No, but the most important thing is that we’re together.” She gave a weak smile. “Ethan wants the high life. Parties, yachts and fast cars. He even came home with this!” She lifted up a Bugatti brochure that he’d left on the kitchen worktop.
“Let me do the drinks, you sit.” Jaz took some cups off the side as the kettle boiled. “You’ve got two weeks until he’s back. Hopefully he’ll see sense and live between here and Qatar. What’s your mum say about it?”
Nina looked up at her. “I haven’t told her yet.”
“That’s the first conversation I’d get out of the way. The sooner the better. You know what I’m like with secrets. And Holly knows too of course, as you texted us both. She sends her love, by the way.”
“I wish I could sort it with Ethan before I tell my parents, but you’re right, I have to tell them, especially as she made the appointment for me at the doctor. She’ll be quizzing me and I can’t lie to her.”