Chapter 22
It was drizzling but Carrie barely noticed as she marched down the hill to the beach. Auntie Mary had been so generous to her and Poppy and Carrie was grateful for that, but that didn’t give her the right to say those things.
Carrie had moved on from Tony in terms of them ever having a romantic relationship again.
She’d been devastated when he’d left her, but she’d got through the exhausting first year of being a mum supported by her own mother, and she’d built a life for herself and Poppy.
Poppy had never gone without. And, yes, she’d stayed in London.
London, one of the most amazing cities in the world and where her job was and her mother. As well as Tony.
But now Auntie Mary had offered her a job as manager of the bookshop.
She could stay in this beautiful place, with a job she loved.
And it seemed her mum wanted to relocate here as well.
Carrie felt so bad that her mum hadn’t felt able to talk to her about that.
She never would have wanted her to feel that way.
Of course her mum should be free to live wherever she wanted, though Carrie would miss her support terribly.
Poppy would have to move schools . . . but she’d heard how good the town’s school was and her sociable daughter had already made friends, at least some of whom would presumably be in her class.
And Michael was here of course. Not that anything would necessarily happen between the two of them, not with what poor Layla had recently been through, but he was great company and Poppy adored him.
Carrie had to admit to herself that Michael had been a far better father figure to Poppy in the last month than Tony had ever been.
But that wasn’t the point. Michael wasn’t her dad, Tony was, and if there was even a small chance that he wanted to be a proper father to Poppy, Carrie had to let that happen.
No matter how much Carrie might want to be with Michael.
And anyway, what about how Poppy would feel if something were to happen between her mum and Michael and it didn’t work out? She’d be devastated.
She and Michael had made the right decision not to act upon whatever it was between them, but it wasn’t easy, and she knew it was only going to get harder.
The more she got to know that man, the more she felt herself falling for him.
They needed distance between them and then, hopefully, when they next met, their feelings for one another will be under control, and they could be friends.
The beach was quiet with just a few of the hardier holiday makers out in the rain. Carrie stomped along the sand, her mind in turmoil as it went over what her aunt had said.
She couldn’t believe that Auntie Mary had offered her such an amazing opportunity, but she had a good life in London with her little girl, a steady job and friends, and that’s what she was returning to. It was the right thing to do, no matter if her heart told her otherwise.
* * *
Carrie walked slowly back up the hill to the bookshop a couple of hours later.
She was resolved on returning to London, but Aunt Mary’s offer had thrown her and allowed her to imagine a life where she had .
. . so much more. The fact that she was soaked through didn’t help her mood.
Neither did seeing Michael come out of The First Sip — had he been in there chatting with Lucy?
That was the second time he’d been in there today.
She really had to stop this ridiculous jealousy thing. It wasn’t like her at all.
She hoped that Michael wouldn’t notice her coming up the hill, but he turned as he was unlocking his door and lifted his arm in greeting.
“Hey,” he said cheerfully. “Have you got a minute?”
“Not really,” Carrie said, then immediately felt bad. He was only being friendly. However, his being friendly was what had led to a lot of the emotional turmoil she was currently experiencing.
He laughed and said, “I’ll come to you then.” He followed Carrie into the bookshop. Auntie Mary was helping a customer in the sci-fi romance section.
“What did you want?” Carrie asked him. She knew she was being rude but she was cold and wet and upset.
“Are you OK?” Michael asked.
“Yeah. I’m just a bit wound up, sorry. And I really need to get changed out of these clothes.”
“Of course. I just wanted to say that I can give you a lift to and from your aunt’s later. I didn’t know what time you wanted to head off there.”
“Thanks, that’s nice of you. What if we come round at about five thirty and give Layla her birthday card and present before we head off?”
“Perfect. We’ll see you then. Go. Get changed,” he ordered, with a smile and Carrie felt her mood improve a little.
* * *
By the time Carrie came back down in dry clothes she was much calmer.
Yes, she still believed her aunt shouldn’t have spoken of Tony that way, but she knew it was done out of love.
And one of her favourite things about her aunt was that she always spoke her mind, which occasionally meant you were told things you didn’t want to hear.
The shop was empty of customers and Auntie Mary stood behind the counter examining an order form. She looked up as Carrie came in.
“I’m sorry I deserted you and left you to run the shop by herself,” Carrie said.
“It’s not like I don’t know how to.” Auntie Mary laughed. She held out her arms and Carrie went in for a hug. Auntie Mary stroked her hair. “I’m sorry I upset you. I love you and I want you to be happy, but I shouldn’t have been so blunt. You’re an adult and it’s your life.”
Carrie went to open her mouth to explain again why she was doing what she was but stopped herself. Her aunt only wanted what was best for her and Poppy, and she didn’t want them to argue, especially with this being their last day here.
“I love you too,” said Carrie.
“I’m fine down here if you want to get on with packing,” said Auntie Mary. “I can give you a shout if I need a hand. I’m all caught up with the paperwork.”
“Thanks,” said Carrie. She had been looking forward to a final day but it was just making her feel sad, especially after her argument with Auntie Mary, and snapping at Michael.
She realised she’d be better off hiding away for a bit, especially as they were now going to Auntie Mary’s for dinner so she really wouldn’t have any time to pack before Poppy went to sleep. She’d better get packing.
* * *
Carrie packed to the sound of Taylor Swift, determined to be positive and get herself in a better mood. They’d had a wonderful summer, but it was time to go back home now, just as had always been the plan.
Carrie’s mum and Poppy arrived back at four thirty. They’d had a great time exploring a castle further up the coast, a ‘proper castle’ Poppy explained. Poppy’s cheeks were pink and her knees a little scuffed from climbing stone walls. Her hair smelled of the sea.
Carrie had packed everything she could and had put a load of washing on. Poppy went to check her room in case any of her toys had been missed.
“Auntie Mary says you’re thinking about moving here,” Carrie said to her mum.
“Yes,” Ellen replied, slowly. “I am. I miss my sister and it’s a lovely place to live.
When I left to work in London when I was eighteen, I didn’t imagine I’d be gone for so long, but then I met your father and had you, and I suppose I never got around to coming back.
And then Poppy came along and I wanted to be near you. ”
“I’m guessing Auntie Mary spoke to you about her offering me a job and the flat?”
“She did,” Ellen said.
“It was really kind of her . . .”
“Yes, but she also needs a manager and knows that you’d do a great job. She loves having you and Poppy here, and wants me to move back too, so she’s not being completely altruistic.”
Carrie laughed. “When you put it like that . . .”
“But Mary messaged me and told me your decision.”
“I’m sorry, Mum . . .”
“Only you can decide what you want to do and I understand why you’re going back.” Ellen spoke gently. “Poppy is always your priority and her father is in London.”
“I know what Tony’s like, but I worry so much that Poppy is going to end up completely without a dad like I did.”
“You can’t control that, just like I couldn’t control what your father did. All you can do is be the best mum you can be to her.”
“You’ve always been a fantastic mum, and you were completely right about my dad.”
“Thank you, darling. And you’re a wonderful mother. Poppy is so lucky to have you.”
Carrie hugged her mum. “Thank you, and I love you.”
“Anytime. Now, I’d better get back to Mary’s house so I can start cooking. I’ll steal her away as well if you’re OK closing up the shop.”
“Of course,” said Carrie, before calling, “Pumpkin, do you want to come and shut up the bookshop with me before we go round to Michael’s to give Layla her presents?”
Poppy came running down the stairs. “Yes, please!”
Carrie’s aunt and mum headed off. There were a couple of customers in the store and Carrie listened to Poppy chat away to them as the little girl busied herself tidying up the displays and plumping up cushions on the armchairs.
Carrie straightened out bookmarks and postcards while trying not to think that this was the last time she’d be doing this.
The customers were in no hurry to leave at closing so Carrie let them have a few extra minutes to choose their purchases, enjoying seeing how excited they were to visit.
They were from New York and were staying in London but had travelled to Cornwall to visit her aunt’s shop, visiting Bath for its Jane Austen connections along the way.
As they took selfies and exclaimed over Seren’s drawings, it reinforced for Carrie just how special this bookshop was and how very lucky she’d been to be able to be a part of it this summer.
Finally, the tourists paid and left and Poppy locked the shop door ceremoniously. “Even though we’ll be unlocking it again to go to Michael’s house,” she pointed out.