Chapter 38
“Maggie!”
Brendan’s voice sounded as if it had been ripped from his lungs as Maggie surfaced, kicking wildly as she choked and gasped for air. With shock, she realized she’d already been drawn by the current far from the boat—Brendan was fifty feet or more away from her, scanning the river wildly.
“I’m—” she began, only to get a mouthful of freezing water as she was pulled under again.
The water felt like a weight all around, dragging her down, so cold that Maggie’s head throbbed and her whole body felt numb. Already, she felt her mind going fuzzy, her thoughts hazy things impossible to grasp. It would be so easy simply to stop fighting, let herself drift and sink…
“Maggie!”
She heard Brendan’s voice again as her head broke the surface once more, filled with fear and urgency, and her own mind snapped back to survival and once more she started to kick.
“I’m… I’m here…” she called out, but her voice was as thin as a thread. She was too cold and shocked to feel panicked, and it was with an almost surreal sort of curiosity that she wondered if she was about to die.
“Try to make it to the side,” Brendan shouted. He was paddling madly, trying to get to her. “Make it to the shore, Maggie, if you can! Please! Try! Try as hard as you can!” He sounded as if he were sobbing.
The shore? Maggie wondered distantly, her mind feeling as numb as the rest of her body.
How could she possibly make it anywhere?
The water was too fast, too cold, too much.
She couldn’t even see the shore, and she couldn’t swim, not that she even knew how, because the current was pulling her so hard.
The water went over her head again, and something caught at her side, causing a searing pain.
She really was going to die in this freezing water, Maggie thought dumbly.
She was going to die without ever seeing Danny or Da or Sheetka again, without Brendan having told her he loved her, because she was almost certain now that he did.
Maybe she should have been bolder, she thought as she futilely tried to kick her way toward the shore she couldn’t even see.
They’d been traveling for weeks, she could have said or done something…
Brendan’s voice was growing fainter, and then she couldn’t hear it at all. The whole world suddenly seemed still, the roar of the raging river dying as the once-rushing water became placid. She was over the worst of it, Maggie realized, and she was still alive.
She drifted for a little while, too shocked and exhausted to attempt anything at all, but then she glimpsed a flat stretch of shore, and she started swimming toward it, as best as she knew how, her arms and legs feeling as heavy as tree trunks, so she could barely move at all.
She was going to drift past it, she thought, and all she could see ahead were steep, rocky sides on both sides of the river, impossible to climb.
If she stayed in the river much longer, Maggie knew, she might very well freeze to death.
Even though it felt as if it cost her everything, she started kicking harder.
Her side screamed and her whole body ached in protest, and she honestly didn’t think she’d be able to do it.
She was too tired, too weak, she couldn’t, she couldn’t…
A sob escaped her as her feet finally brushed the ground. Then she was drifting again, and she sobbed again, more of a scream, as she scrabbled toward the shore. Her feet touched again and then she felt the current move by her, she was free, free.
Maggie fell on her knees in the water, her whole body trembling violently as she crawled out of the river and collapsed right there on the ground, her cheek pressed to the dirt. She tried to lift her head, but she couldn’t.
Then the world went mercifully dark.
“Maggie… Maggie!”
Maggie had no idea where she was or what had happened as she blinked up at Brendan’s face. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. She felt completely numb, as if she were detached from her body.
“Thank God,” he said, and his voice sounded ragged, like he was holding back tears. “We have to get you out of your clothes, quickly. You’ll freeze to death otherwise.”
Maggie lifted her hands to her jacket, but it was as if they didn’t belong to her. Her fingers were too clumsy; she couldn’t manage a single button.
“I’ll do it,” Brendan said. “And I’ll build a fire to warm you up. Thank God, thank God you’re alive.”
“What…” She couldn’t manage any more. She couldn’t even find it in herself to be embarrassed as Brendan undid her jacket and then her shirt, pulling them off as gently as he could.
She closed her eyes as he took off her camisole and then her overalls and pants and underdrawers, so she was entirely naked.
No man had ever seen her thus, and yet of all the men in the world, Brendan was the only one she would want to, the only one she trusted.
“Here.” He put a woolen blanket around her, wrapping it tightly. “I’ll build a fire.”
Maggie must have fallen asleep, or maybe passed out, because the next thing she knew, Brendan was scooping her up in his arms and bringing her to the campfire he’d built by the riverside, the boat, looking more than a little worse for wear, pulled up on the shore.
“You need to warm up,” Brendan told her, and he pulled her right on his lap as he sat by the fire, his arms tucked snugly around her. Maggie leaned into him, grateful for his warmth, for his comfort, for him. Even if he was only trying to keep her warm, she knew there was no place she’d rather be.
And then she realized Brendan’s shoulders were shaking, and she twisted out of his arms to look into his face. Tears were streaking down his cheeks.
“I thought I’d lost you,” he said, choking on the words. “Maggie, I thought I’d lost you.”
“But you didn’t,” Maggie said softly. She rested one cold hand against his cheek, tenderly wiping his tears with her thumb. “And you never will… if you don’t want to.”
Brendan stared at her for a moment, the look in his eyes one of both agony and hope, both emotions equally fierce, and then he took her face in his hands and kissed her hard on the mouth.
For a second, Maggie was too shocked to respond, and then she did, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, the blanket falling away from her own as he deepened the kiss, imbuing it with all the pent-up passion and love she knew they both felt.
At last, Maggie thought, reveling in the feel of his broad shoulders under her hands, his hands still cradling her face so tenderly. At last, at last.
Brendan broke away first, resting his forehead against hers. “When we get to Dawson,” he told her, his tone brooking no argument, “we find a preacher and we’ll get married.”
Maggie laughed, the sound as clear as a bell. “Yes,” she said simply, and Brendan sagged with relief. “Did you think I wouldn’t want to?” she asked gently. She put her hands on either side of his face, so she was looking at him directly. “Brendan, I told you I loved you nearly two years ago.”
“I know,” he said quietly.
“And you told me you loved me two years before that,” Maggie added on a soft sigh of both acceptance and regret. “Did you not trust me?”
“Or myself,” he admitted in a low voice.
“You were right, with what you said, Maggie. I didn’t think I was good enough for you.
And I still wanted to be. I didn’t want to come to you with nothing.
And…” He paused. “And I wanted to make sure you still felt what you said you did. I wanted to give you time to be sure, because I knew I couldn’t have my heart broken again. ”
“Oh, Brendan.” Maggie shook her head as she briefly closed her eyes. “I’m so sorry. If only I’d realized sooner?—”
“Don’t be sorry. You had to find your way. We both did. And I love you for who you are, Maggie, your ambition and determination included.” He laughed softly. “I don’t think we would have survived this journey without them.”
“We wouldn’t have survived this journey without you.”
Brendan glanced back at the boat. “The scow needs some repair,” he told her.
“We’ll have to go back to Hootalinqua. You can rest up at the station, and I’ll work on the boat.
Hopefully it won’t take more than a day or two before we’re off again.
” He kissed her again, gently. “We’ll find them, Maggie, I promise. We’ll get to your da and Danny.”
“I know we will.” She felt like she could believe anything, do anything, as long as she knew Brendan loved her.
“You know I was going to say something, the night I got back from Seattle?” he told her as he tucked her against him more securely.
“I’d been thinking about it all winter, worrying I’d missed my moment by being gone so long.
And then I saw you again and I knew. I knew my feelings would never change, and I saw in your face that yours wouldn’t, either.
” He smiled faintly. “And then fate interrupted me before I could get a word out, and then it never seemed like the right time on the trail, with so much danger and worry…”
“I know,” Maggie told him. “None of it matters now.” She kissed him, wrapping her arms around him, amazed at how simple everything seemed now. The world had righted itself.
Brendan kissed her back with more urgency, his hand slipping from her cheek to her bare shoulder, their bodies pressed together, and then with a regretful laugh, he eased her away from him, pulling the blanket back over her.
“You’d better get some clothes on,” he told her shakily. “Hopefully there’s still something dry in the boat you can wear.” He smiled wryly. “And we’d better be able to find a preacher in Dawson, because it won’t be a moment too soon!”