Teaser Grump Gone Wild
My boss pops the question on a rainy Thursday after lunch.
Not the question, obviously. That would be too perfect, too dreamlike—and pretty weird, since for all the years I’ve worked for him, despite my ginormous crush, Sebastian Bamford has only ever seen me as his zany assistant.
No, the beautiful genius summons me into his top floor office with a few curt words through the intercom, then waits behind his huge desk, jaw clenched.
“Felicity.”
Despite my nudging, he’s only ever called me Fliss twice in our whole acquaintance. Once at the company holiday party two years ago, when he greeted me solemnly by the pop up bar. I remember it vividly, not just because of the name thing, but because he wore a black knitted sweater instead of his usual suit, and his cheeks were pink from walking down the frosty street. Swoon.
The second time was when I had three days off work with a stomach flu. Sebastian called me at home on the third day, to ‘check whether I needed anything’. Really, I think he suspected I was playing hooky.
Um, as if.
Not because I care so much about emails and appointments and refilling the water cooler cups, to be clear. But to willingly lose a day with Sebastian Bamford? The sexy, bossy nerd of my dreams? Are you crazy?
“I have a strange request.” He’s staring out of the huge windows. Raindrops patter against the glass, then streak down and blur the city skyline. Downtown looks like one giant smudge.
“Okay. What is it, sir?”
His mouth flattens, and he keeps scowling outside. I wait, shifting from foot to foot, but… nothing.
Alrighty.
I’m used to my boss’s moods, so I distract myself with mental notes. Like: that potted plant in the corner needs water. And Sebastian has that video conference at two, the one with the German team. Should I double-check the translator? Wait, I did that already. But should I triple-check?
“It’s not work-related,” he says.
I bite the inside of my cheek, suddenly laser-focused. The air hums through the AC. “I’m very discreet, sir. You can trust me.”
Trust me… Confide in me… Maybe love me back one day…
Are you listening, universe? Just putting it out there.
“It’s delicate,” Sebastian says.
He’s killing me here. “I’m sure I can handle it.”
Because seriously, whatever it is, I’ve got this. Picking up his dry cleaning? Booking a doctor’s appointment? Lying to his awful family for him? I’m there, no sweat, because I’ve been gone for my boss since day one. G-O-N-E. Head over heels for this beautiful grump, with his neat bronze hair and his tortoiseshell glasses and his perfectly pressed suits. I love him so much, it gives me indigestion.
When he rumbles orders at me in that deep voice—it’s like he’s reading me a sonnet. When he ignores me in the elevator, I swoon.
Gray eyes find mine, and shivers race down my spine. My face heats, despite the cool air flowing through a vent on the wall. This building should have a warning right above the entrance— Caution: Boss may cause dizziness.
“I have no right to ask you this, Felicity.” He’s so solemn; so pained. The rain-dulled daylight barely reaches his desk, and he’s lit by the golden glow of a table lamp. “If you say no, it won’t affect your work at all. Is that understood?”
Color me intrigued… though for the record, I’d do virtually anything for this man, including commit petty crimes. For Sebastian Bamford, my morals are scanty as hell.
He’s just so noble. And hardworking and stern and delicious. Every second I’m near him, my fingers itch to yank on his tie. I want to climb into his lap and kiss him so hard I knock his glasses askew.
“Understood. What is it, sir?”
A muscle leaps in his jaw. Sebastian frowns over my shoulder into space, and the lamplight glints against his bronze hair. “I have a family event next weekend,” he says slowly. “An important one, and… I need a date.”
Oh my god. Oh my god.
Eeee!
I’m beaming wide, already floating up near the ceiling when he adds: “I’d like you to pretend to be my girlfriend. It would be fake, obviously. You’d get overtime.”
I crash back down to the floor.
Overtime? He wants to pay me for this?
…Fake ?
“It’s purely business,” Sebastian says, still frowning over my shoulder. When he finally looks at me, concern darts through his gray eyes. Guess my dismay is splashed all over my face. “I can hire someone else,” he adds quickly. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Felicity. But I have neither the time nor the inclination to find a real date, and… well, you know my family.”
After our four years together, I certainly do. They’re a pack of designer-suited jackals.
Whenever my grouchy sweetheart of a boss goes down the coast for family events, he always comes back looking worn down by life and five years older. At this rate, he’ll be a crumbly old man before I’ve hit thirty, and who wants that?
“I’ll do it,” I say. Never mind my bruised heart; I will rescue this buttoned-down grump from his nefarious relatives. “But I’m… you know…”
I wave a hand up and down my body. My boss’s mouth twists, and his gaze rakes me from head to toe, cataloging my many flaws.
The crinkly, too-bright clothes, covered with a fine layer of cat hair; the bruise on my knee from roller derby. My messy hair that always escapes from whatever bun or braid I put it in. Take your pick.
Is he gonna change his mind? My fingers pluck at my purple skirt, and I swallow hard. Maybe he’ll take it back and ask someone more suitable. Because let’s be honest: if Sebastian wants to impress his snooty family, I’m the last girl in the world he should choose.
“No,” Sebastian declares, stern eyes fixed on an ink stain on my cuff. “I need it to be you, Felicity. I’ll coach you.”
Oh, great. Learning all the ways I don’t measure up for this man? Sounds like pure torture.
Because the Bamfords are old money. Country clubs and race horses and private vineyards— that kind of money. And I have raspberry streaks in my hair and a tattoo of my ancient cat Rusty on my wrist. My bus pass has seen more action than my credit card.
“Awesome,” I say.
But as I slink out of his office, my bruised heart dragging along the carpet, I try to see the positive side.
And that is: a weekend event with my boss. Hours and hours together away from the office. A sneak peek at his origins, and the chance to give the evil eye to his awful relatives. Sounds fun.
And who knows? Maybe pretending to date me will open Sebastian’s eyes! Maybe he’ll scoop me over his shoulder like a bespectacled Tarzan and carry me into the sunset.
Yeah, right. Girls like me don’t land dreamboats like this. We nurse our forbidden crushes, then go home alone and snuggle with our stinky old cats.
Hope Rusty is ready to be the little spoon when I get home. Today’s been a doozy.
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Check out Grump Gone Wild or read the whole series in the Grumps Unleashed box set!
xxx