Chapter 6 #2
The night at the crèche with the picture had been the last straw.
She hadn’t been able to stand watching this…
farce of a relationship any longer. It was like her childhood all over again.
Once her father had moved on to his new family it hadn’t seemed to matter what she’d done, he’d never seemed to notice.
And it had hurt. Man, had it hurt.
Alessandro was obviously clueless, so someone had to teach him how to be a father.
And regardless of every flashing light blaring at her, regardless of the attraction that simmered between them, she knew she had to be the one.
She needed a place to stay and she couldn’t witness Julian’s emotional isolation one second longer.
This was a classic win–win situation.
Her stomach grumbled and she looked at the smartwatch that adorned her wrist. Midday.
Julian yawned in her peripheral vision and his eyes drifted shut briefly as he continued to rub his chin against Flo’s head.
They’d been having such fun she’d forgotten he was only four and still needed his afternoon sleep.
And lunch probably, too.
‘Wow,’ she announced. ‘Look at the time! Let’s get something to eat.’
Julian followed her down the stairs, Flo bundled up in his arms, purring loudly as she wallowed in cat heaven.
He led her to the kitchen and Nat braced herself to face Alessandro again.
He was working on a laptop at the dining table, which was through an archway to the right off the massive gourmet kitchen gleaming in all its stainless-steel and white-tiled glory.
‘Sorry,’ he apologised as he looked up. ‘Just keeping abreast of the health alerts from the Australian government concerning the new influenza strain.’
Nat nodded. ‘You think it’ll spread here?’
‘With international travel, sure. Thankfully the epidemiologists aren’t predicting a pandemic but if we’re going to be treating cases of it in the ER then I want to be forearmed.’
‘Of course,’ she murmured. Made absolute sense.
With Julian preoccupied with the cat, Alessandro shut the laptop lid and changed the topic. ‘I trust you’ve settled in?’
Nat’s gaze settled on his broad shoulders. ‘Yes, thank you. Julian and I are going to attack his room tomorrow.’
‘Okay. I’ll locate his boxes and take them up there in the morning.’
‘Thank you.’
His gaze held hers, boring into her soul, like he already knew her, and she suddenly felt out of breath. A lock of hair fell across his forehead and Nat’s fingers tingled with the desire to push it back. She could actually see herself doing it in some weird slow-motion flash forward.
Except he didn’t have a shirt on. And neither did she.
Nat dragged her gaze away and nervously looked around for something to do. Anything. The stainless-steel fridge was right there and she reached for the door with relish. ‘I was just going to make some lunch for Julian and I before he goes down for his nap.’
She stared in the fridge unseeingly for a moment while her pulse settled and her panties unknotted. ‘Shall I make you something as well?’
‘There’s not a whole lot there, I’m afraid. I really need to do a proper shop.’
Nat blinked as the contents, or lack of them, slowly came into focus. She blinked again. Now, that was the understatement of the year. She cocked an eyebrow in Alessandro’s direction. ‘What have you guys been living on?’
He shrugged. ‘I usually just pick up a few bits and pieces after work every couple of days.’
Nat pursed her lips as she shut the fridge and headed for what looked like might be the pantry. It was. And it was also similarly devoid of food. It was obvious they’d just been living from day to day. For an experienced emergency physician, the man was utterly clueless.
She supposed his wife had taken care of all the domestic duties. And he’d probably let her. But still… surely, he knew that kids needed a sense of permanency and long-term planning to feel secure? Bags unpacked, paintings on the walls, food in the pantry.
Especially ones whose whole life had just fallen apart.
Glancing at Julian, she said, ‘Looks like we’re going shopping after your nap.’
Like any four-year-old, Julian beamed at the prospect. ‘Can I ride in the trolley? Mummy used to let me ride in the trolley.’
She supposed Alessandro only used a basket to shop for his bits and pieces and that would seem rather boring to a four-year-old; still, she was aware of Alessandro stiffening.
Her gaze cut to him, to the forbidding planes of his regal face, etched with lines of tiredness, his beautiful mouth a bleak line.
He’d visibly paled, his face possibly the grimmest she’d seen yet.
Her heart ached anew for both of them but probably more so for Alessandro. Julian was too young to understand the things that his father was struggling with. ‘Yes, you can ride in the trolley. Maybe Papa would like to come with us?’
Nat watched as both father and son tensed. Julian’s eyes dropped to the top of Flo’s head as if he daren’t give away his feelings in case they were quashed, and Alessandro turned back to his laptop with, ‘I have reading to catch up on.’
She stared at the downcast heads, so alike but so disconnected from each other.
And for a second, she felt helpless – but only for a second.
Because she wanted to give this little boy the gift of a good father–child relationship.
She wanted him to feel whole as he grew up, not less.
Like she had. She would never wish that feeling on anyone, never mind a small child.
But it was plain neither of them was going to make it easy.