Chapter 7
Seven
Esther’s skin itched everywhere as she was sitting in front of the vanity while a maid styled her hair.
Maybe it was the gown Mrs. Wilson had given her; its rough fabric chafed her neck and arms. Or maybe it was the aftermath of whatever she’d drunk last night.
She didn’t have a single memory of what she’d done past drinking from the vial.
She couldn’t even recall if she’d drunk it all.
If she focused, visions of people laughing and bright lights crossed her mind, but nothing was clear.
And she’d kissed Alexander. She didn’t remember that, either.
The conversation with Minnie about him must have influenced her inexcusable actions.
“Done, my lady.” The maid finished taming Esther’s wild hair in a decent chignon.
She stared at her reflection in the mirror. She couldn’t decide if her cheeks were pale or not. Her eyes seemed bigger and brighter, and her head felt heavy. Aside from that, her strength had returned.
She stood up. “Thank you.”
She’d talked too soon. Going down the stairs challenged her sense of balance as the world tilted. She gripped the bannister, worried she might fall over.
“Esther.” Alexander hurried down the stairs to take her elbow. “What is it?”
“A bit of a turn.”
“Perhaps you should eat something before going out.” His concerned tone made her feel guilty.
“I don’t want to inconvenience you.”
“More than stealing my foil and hiding it somewhere?” He smiled teasingly.
“I don’t want to further inconvenience you.” She stopped. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember any of that. I feel guilty anyway.”
He helped her down the stairs again. “Let me help you.”
She leant into him as they went down the stairs. “The foil must be important to you.”
“Yes, but mostly I confess I was worried about your lack of judgement. Anything could have happened to you last night while you were in that state.”
“Minnie is my friend. I had no idea she would give me something capable of making me behave like that and making me forget about it.”
He stopped at the bottom of the stairs. “Minnie gave you something?”
“A vial of a drink.” In broad daylight with her head dizzy, it sounded stupid to her own ears.
His facial lines tensed. “Your friend drugged you and left you alone.”
“We don’t know that. I mean, she gave me the vial, but I don’t know if she left me alone. I’ll ask her a few questions.”
He shook his head. “I want to take care of you first. You need to eat something.” His voice lowered to a husky tone she didn’t mind.
The panorama from the sunroom was the first good thing about that day. It offered an unobstructed view of the sandy beach and the sea shining like glittering gold in the sunshine. The large window took up three entire walls, so wherever she moved, the sea followed her.
“It’s stunning. It’s like flying over the sea.” She tilted her head up and was surprised to find him smiling at her.
It was a simple, boyish smile that started a flutter in her belly.
She released his arm slowly before helping herself at the banquet table.
Alexander sat at the head. “The window was my mother’s idea.
” His gaze became lost for a moment. “Contrary to the queen, my mother loved Brighton. We spent wonderful days in this house. I had my parents for myself. No official engagements, no meetings in Parliament, and no dinners I wasn’t allowed to go to. ”
“You miss them.”
He hesitated before nodding.
She sipped the tea gingerly, fearing she might throw up, but her stomach settled the more she drank.
She ate a buttered scone and finished a good portion of eggs.
For once, she could eat everything she wanted, how much she wanted, without Mother stopping her.
The dark red jam had to be delicious on one of those soft slices of bread, but Mother’s words echoed in her mind with a passion, and her doubts returned.
“Are you feeling sick?” Alexander tilted his head to stare at her.
“The jam looks tasty.”
“More than looks. It’s marmalade, actually. Cook made it with fresh blood oranges from Sicily. The scent of the fresh fruits was intoxicating. And Cook is an expert in making preserves. Try it.”
Sugar makes your teeth rot.
“I shouldn’t.” She wished Mother would leave her alone.
“Why?”
“My mother always says a lady never indulges, especially at the table.”
“A slice of bread with the best marmalade in the world isn’t an indulgence. It’s a necessity.”
She chuckled, and he laughed, too.
The worry and tension lifted from her chest. He had the power to make her feel free to do what she wanted. It was the best feeling in the world.
He offered her the jar. “You’ll fall in love.”
Funny he should mention that.
She spread a generous dose of the red-orange marmalade on a piece of toast and bit into it. It had the perfect balance between sweetness and bitterness with a distinctive orange flavour that teased her senses and would cheer up a mortician.
A little moan escaped her. “Heaven.”
His gaze turned smouldering, and his boyish smile became predatory. “I’m glad you like it.”
She licked a drop of marmalade from her lower lip, and he followed the gesture with keen interest. Another flutter started in her belly, but of a different type.
For maybe the first time, she felt desirable, which, combined with the sense of freedom she experienced with him, made for a powerful combination.
But knowing she’d attacked him last night dampened her enthusiasm.
She put down the delicious slice. “What do you think of me now?”
“That you tried to be someone you aren’t for too long, and that’s dangerous.”
“I wonder who the real me is. The one who follows the rule or the fury who stole your foil?”
“Maybe a bit of both.”
She sighed. “So I’m a deranged woman deep down.”
He gently put his hand over hers. “No. What I mean is that you need to be yourself more often and do the things you like.” His thumb stroked her knuckles, and a shiver went down her neck.
He removed his hand, frowning. “I’m sorry.”
“About what?”
“I don’t want you to think I’m taking liberties with you because of something you did when you weren’t yourself.”
He was serious. She was speechless for a moment. He was undoubtedly the best gentleman she’d ever met.
“I don’t think anything of the sort. In fact, I quite enjoyed it.” She refused to regret her honesty. He’d told her to be more herself, after all.
The boyish smile flashed again. “So did I.”
She returned the smile, wondering what was happening.