Chapter 10
Ten
After Alexander and Esther left Benedict’s house, they lingered on the porch. The whole affair between Benedict and Esther bothered him. She had waltzed into his life and turned it upside down with a simplicity that shocked him.
“He overreacted.” He helped her down the stairs to the pavement.
“If someone who doesn’t know how to use a foil waved it at you, and you fell and hurt yourself, you wouldn’t be happy either.”
He chuckled. “I’m not sure. If it were you, I might be.”
She smiled, and the world seemed less dark. “We should walk back to your house.”
He nodded. “Trying different routes.”
“Good idea.” Her smile dimmed. “I’m annoying all the people around me. Minnie is shocked by my behaviour, the dowager wants to throw me in prison, Benedict thinks I want to kill him, Mother has no idea what I’m doing, and you must think…”
“Think what?”
“That I’m a wanton, wild woman with murderous urges.” She stifled a sob, but her shoulders shook.
Alexander took her hand gently and led her to a secluded corner. “I told you I don’t think that.”
“Yes, you do. You said I attacked you.”
“It was clear you weren’t yourself, though.”
“What happened to me?”
He wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “I think that potion pushed you to do all the things you’ve always wanted to do without inhibitions.”
“And what are those things? Threatening a man with a blade and attacking another? Is this who I really am? I’d rather not be myself, then.”
“You’re yourself now, and you’re lovely to me.”
She gave him a little smile. “I wanted to enjoy myself. Instead, I ruined my reputation and ruined other people’s nights, maybe your competition, too, and I’m holding a cloak soaked in blood. It can’t be worse than that.”
“There might be rumours about you, but they’ll end.” He was discovering an optimistic side of himself.
“And I’ll never have a suitor. I’ll live with my parents forever.” She froze. “That would be even worse than a scandal.”
“Esther.” He cupped her cheek. “That won’t be your future.”
She leant into his touch, and he caught a breath.
A tear hung on the tips of her eyelashes, and it looked like a tiny diamond against the backdrop of her sapphire eyes.
“I’ve never met anyone like you,” he said.
“Completely out of my wits?”
He laughed. “No. I would say lively and spirited.”
“Me? Spirited? I’m the most boring woman in the kingdom.”
“I haven’t been bored since I met you. And you’re a crack shot with a cricket bat. I don’t know your mother well, but I think you should follow your instinct more often.”
“Thank you.” She blinked, and the tear slid down her cheek.
He acted on sheer impulse and captured it with his lips. They both shivered.
“I don’t think you’re a wild woman. I think you’re a fine lady,” he whispered.
“Let’s see if you still believe that if we don’t find your foil. Who knows what I did with it? Maybe I sold it, or someone stole it.”
He wiped her cheek again. “I’m sure we’ll find it.” Actually, he wasn’t, but making her smile was more important.
She leant against him as they walked along the alleyway. “What bothers me the most is that I tried to undress you. I would never behave in such a way.”
“You were teasing and laughing. It was almost funny, if not for the fact you were intoxicated.”
“I’ll never drink any mysterious tonic ever again.”
“You don’t need it to have fun.”
“You’re right. You are more than enough.” She hugged him, and he held her tightly, burying his face in her silky hair.
“Never change, Esther. I need you to be who you are.”
She rested her cheek on his chest. “You have no idea how much I needed to hear that.”
“Any time you need to hear that, let me know.”
He kept holding her for no reason other than he enjoyed having her in his arms. When he let her go, her eyes gleamed with that special light he was in awe of.
“What were we doing?” he asked, brushing a curl from her cheek.
“Memory problems? How convenient.”
He laughed and took her hand. “I will certainly remember these days in Brighton with you.”
They reached the high road, hand in hand.
“Where to?” He checked right and left.
“Well, your house is on the left, but I might have gone right first and walked around the building to return to the left.” She turned around, her expression blank.
“What does your instinct tell you?”
“That I should lock myself in a convent and start horticulture.”
He laughed again. It was a common thing with her. “You would be bored in a day.”
“Better bored than disgraced.”
No, she wouldn’t be disgraced because he would become her suitor, if she wanted him to.
He tugged at her hand. “Right or left?”
“I say right. I think I remember the Chain Pier.”
The Chain Pier stretched over the quiet sea like a giant snake. Rust covered the metallic parts, and mould turned the wood green.
“It’s a shame it hasn’t been maintained,” she said. “I would have loved to see it when it was new and shiny.”
“I came here with my parents every summer. The pier offered all sorts of entertainment, from street food to jugglers, singers, and fortune tellers. My mother loved sweets. She and I would buy the lot and promise to make it last until Christmas, but it never did. We would finish everything in a day. Father preferred the music. He had odd tastes Mother didn’t share.
She told him his tastes were ancient and the music he liked was sad, and…
” He scrubbed the back of his neck. “I talk too much. You probably don’t care about that. ”
“I care a lot. You were a lovely family.”
“Yes. We were happy, especially when we came here.”
That happiness had seemed lost to him for years, something that happened only once in his life until he’d met Esther. Being with her had the same simple, happy quality as those lost days.
“Father became another man out of London. We spent days together riding on the beach. My parents and I would lie on the carpet in front of the fire to read a book. Mother loved novels. Father preferred historical essays. She always won when we had to decide what to read together. I miss them. Life is frightening without them,” he added in a whisper.
She stroked his arm. “I understand. My mother and I don’t often agree on everything, but she always helps me when I need her, and being a duke is different.”
“When I make a decision, I always wonder what Father would have done. I wish to find someone as my father did. Someone who makes life less frightening.”
She squeezed his hand, and warmth and hope spread through his chest. “It’s not my place, but may I say something?”
“Please.”
“You shouldn’t stop fencing. You love it, and it obviously helps you feel better.”
“My duties are overwhelming. I barely have time to do anything else.”
“But you need it to find yourself again. Trust me, I know something about needing to be yourself.”
“Let’s make a deal.” He stretched out his arm. “You’ll play cricket more often, and I’ll keep fencing.”
She shook his hand. “Your Grace, I agree.”