15. Finn
15
FINN
Our front door shut behind us, and Easton and Lars both turned to face me, arms crossed.
“Want to tell us what the fuck that was about?” Lars asked.
“What do you mean?” Pretending to be ignorant wouldn’t get me far, but I was desperate to put off the inevitable. The moment I told them I wasn’t interested in pursuing Olive, it would be over for me. I would be out of the pack. Actually, I might just be kicked out if they found out what I had done to her… leaving her alone in the theater like that.
“There was something going on between you and Olive,” Easton said. “Why did she give you a pickle sandwich? And why did you eat it?”
I had to fight the bizarre urge to smile . I swore my lips twitched. I had no idea how she’d found out about my hatred for pickles, but it was a fitting revenge for how I’d treated her. Actually, I deserved much worse punishment. Olive would never be my omega, but that didn’t lessen the sick feeling of guilt in my chest.
“I don’t know why she did that,” I mumbled with a shrug.
Easton let out an exasperated noise that sounded like ungrr, and Lars just scrubbed his hand down his face .
“Olive is the omega I scented years ago,” he said. “My alpha knew she was ours back then, and I feel it even more strongly now.”
Easton threw his arms around Lars’s shoulders with a whoop . “You’re kidding me. You’re kidding me. I knew she was perfect for us. It’s meant to be!”
My heart sank as Lars confirmed what I’d suspected when I scented Olive. It was all coming to an end, and I wasn’t sure my heart could take it. Losing my grandparents was one thing, but losing my brothers?
I should tell them. Come clean and let them know I wasn’t interested in bonding with Olive or any other omega. That I couldn’t. My alpha rumbled in disagreement. He wanted Olive. But the grief of seeing my grandpa fade away after the loss of his bonded was a heavy stone in my chest.
I ran my fingers through my hair. “I don’t know her yet. And neither do the two of you, really.”
Easton bounced on his toes. “This restoration is the perfect time to get to know her. To court her.”
I pursed my lips, confident this had been Easton’s plan all along.
“You’ll be nice to her?” Lars asked, his voice deep and serious. “Give her a chance?”
My throat closed up too tight to form words, so I just nodded before escaping upstairs to my room.
I threw myself onto the bed and screamed into my pillow. I was a mess. My brothers had put up with my terrible moods the past six months, had been so understanding, but I sensed their patience was coming to an end. Well, maybe if you just communicated with them, you idiot .
Exhaustion weighed heavy on me. Who knew grief made you so tired?
I lay there for a while before forcing myself to sit at my desk and open my laptop. I started pulling up sites for the restoration materials we would need, but somehow ended up looking at homes for rent in other towns. Jobs, too. I would have to tell my pack brothers the truth soon, and needed to have a place to go to when they inevitably kicked me out .
For just a moment, I allowed myself to imagine what it would be like if we all bonded Olive. To come home to her looking all rumpled and cozy at the end of a long day. To have someone to hug, cuddle, love . The image of it was so powerful and filled me with such intense longing, it took my breath away.
I clutched at my chest. How could I risk it, giving so much of myself to another person when I could lose them, too? I just… I couldn’t. Even though my cowardice would cost me everything.