33. Olive
33
OLIVE
I groaned as the mattress dipped and someone slipped into the bed behind me. In my sleepy haze, I forgot to be panicked. And then I was surrounded by Lars’s scent.
“What?” was the only word I could mumble.
“Fucking Finn didn’t come home. No way am I going to be the last one to spend the night with you.”
That was absurdly sweet.
“Where’s—” Before I could find the energy to form a full question, the mattress dipped again, but this time, a body was trying to squeeze between Finn and me from the bottom of the bed.
Finn tightened his hold on me. “Easton, get off me,” he groaned.
Easton stopped when his face was level with my pussy. He wrapped his arms around my legs. “This is the perfect sleeping position for me.”
“That can’t possibly be comfortable.” My voice was soft as sleep clawed at me again.
A tender kiss pressed to the back of my neck. “Just go to sleep, sweetheart, with your whole pack around you.” Lars’s words were so precious, I collected them up and held them close to my heart.
It would take a while for me to get used to waking up in a tangle of limbs.
I couldn’t believe Lars and Easton snuck into bed with us. Maybe I should be upset with them for breaking into my home and coming into my nest uninvited, but my omega was too busy basking in the glory of having her alphas around her to muster up any irritation. Besides, Easton had been honest about his stalking tendencies.
My alphas.
My chest clenched at the thought. Were they really mine?
For the first time, I let myself imagine what life with the three of them could be like. Waking up like this every morning, spending time with Lars’s family, going into town because it wasn’t so scary when they were with me… Maybe even going through a heat together.
A thread of anxiety worked through me, wrapping itself tightly around my heart. The voices of those other alphas filtered in.
Too needy.
Too loud.
Too whiny.
Not enough. Not enough. Not enough.
My guys wouldn’t be like those alphas during my heat. They wouldn’t speak to me like that, wouldn’t treat me how he did, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t think the same things. And regret being with me.
I scrubbed my eyes with my hands. It was too early in the morning to dwell on something that was still weeks away.
I was tempted to stay all tucked in with their warm bodies against mine, but the ocean was calling me. I was already feeling a little off-balance and needed my morning routine to get me back on track. I started my slow wiggle to escape the guys’ holds. I didn’t want to wake them, but they had me trapped. I’d almost managed a full extraction when a large hand grasped my ankle.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Lars’s deep growl sent a shiver through me.
“Just out for a quick swim,” I whispered. “Go back to sleep. I’ll be back in a few minutes. ”
Easton let out a groan. “Baby, please, no . This is an every morning thing? Must put a stop to it. The morning is for sleeping and cuddling, not freezing cold water.”
I grinned at how grumpy he sounded. “You don’t have to come. I promise I’ll be right back.”
But Easton rolled off the air mattress, hitting the floor with a loud thud. He pushed up with a groan, his eyes still half-closed. “Naked,” was the only word he spoke.
“What’s he going on about?” Finn asked, finally stirring.
“Only good part of this morning routine,” Easton muttered. “Although you could just stay in bed, naked.”
He held his arms out to me for what I thought was a hug, but then he picked me up and started walking to the front door.
“We have to put on clothes.” I laughed as I clutched my half-asleep alpha as he stumbled to the door, my two other bewildered alphas following us.
“Felix,” was all he said, and that was fair. It had taken him ages to get his pants back from Sir Cat last time.
“Sweetheart, what is it we’re doing at six-thirty in the morning ?” Lars asked as we headed out the door.
“I start my mornings with a swim in the ocean. It’s part of my routine.”
“Some people drink coffee and have breakfast in bed for their morning routine,” Finn muttered.
We made our way down to the beach, the early morning air crisp and cold. I pushed at Easton’s arms and he carefully set me down. The sand was icy under my feet.
My three guys stood side by side. Naked and shivering.
The absurdity of it all filled my chest with giddy happiness. How was it that I had three guys who would follow me outside, even though it was too early and too cold for them? It made me feel powerful.
And loved.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and headed towards the water, lifting my arms and spinning in the air. “I thought you were big, strong alphas,” I taunted .
“This is unnatural,” Finn shouted back.
“Lars, you’re Swedish.” I squealed as the first wave hit my skin.
His grumbled response was lost in the wind as I ran further into the water. The water was so cold it hurt, but I loved it because it made me feel grounded and alive .
I turned around to see my alphas still on shore but inching closer to the water.
“I don’t think this is safe,” Finn said. “Come back here, Olive. You’ll get sick.” He injected his voice with that stern tone that made slick pour down my thigh, but I just fell back in the water on my back, the waves cooling my overheated skin.
“I guess no one wants a blow job!” I called out.
“Wait, what?” Easton took a few clumsy steps into the water, swearing copiously as a wave snuck up on him and drenched his side.
“First alpha to come here gets a blow job.”
I’d never seen anyone move faster. Lars, Finn, and Easton ran into the waves. Lars shoved Finn, who fell back and started shouting about a red card, and Easton seemed to fall over his own feet and crash into the water. Tears streamed down my face from laughter, and then Lars’s strong arms were around me, picking me up.
“I see we’re going to have to keep a very close eye on you, naughty girl.” He started carrying me towards shore. I snuggled into his chest, my arms and legs wrapped around him as I soaked in his warmth.
“Does that mean you don’t want a blow job?” I nibbled on his throat, his skin salty.
He cleared his throat. “Didn’t say that.”
I pressed my laugh to his chest as the other guys joined us.
They all pressed in around me; the loneliness I’d felt for so long washed out to sea.
Easton stared at my fridge, grumbling at the lack of food.
“I didn’t know I was going to be hosting,” I said, my heels hitting the cabinets as I swung my legs. After I did my daily lighthouse checks and got dressed (in Finn’s sweater, no pants), he’d placed me on the kitchen counter and told me to “stay there like a good girl” while they made breakfast.
Yes sir.
I hadn’t put on my No-NonScent Deodorant this morning, so they could all scent me as I perfumed at his words.
“Forget about hosting. This isn’t enough food for you .” Easton shut the fridge angrily. He moved to stand between my spread legs, and I wrapped my arms around him.
“I’ll buy more, okay?” I said. Easton’s scent told me he was really agitated.
“ I’ll buy it for you.” His voice was pure grumpiness as he rubbed his cheek against mine, scent-marking me.
I would have protested to him spending money on me, but this seemed really important to him. Had Easton experienced food insecurity growing up? The thought made me hug him tighter.
“I’m assuming you want this creamer in your coffee, sweet girl?”
My cheeks heated as Finn held up the pumpkin spice-flavored creamer I’d splurged on. “Umm, yep.”
“Excellent,” Lars said, rubbing his hands together. “My favorite flavor.” He raised a suggestive eyebrow as he whisked something in a bowl, and I squirmed on the counter.
“What are you making?” I asked.
“Swedish pancakes. A staple in my home growing up.”
“That sounds so good. Thanks for doing that.” That stupid lump was back in my throat at how my alphas were taking care of me.
Finn nudged Easton out of the way and handed me my coffee. I looked down at it and bit my lip.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I said quickly. Too quickly, judging by his stern expression. Why did Finn scolding me get me so hot? “I want more creamer,” I whispered.
He grinned. “I should have known.” He poured more in until the coffee was a pale tan color. “That better, pretty girl?”
I took a sip. “Perfect.”
He grinned and ran his hands up my bare thighs. “I like you like this,” he murmured in my ear. “Sitting so sweetly for us.” His heated gaze ran down my legs, but his expression quickly turned to anger as his hand froze on my leg. “Why the fuck are you covered in bruises?” He ran his hands down my calf. “Did—” He cleared his throat. “Did I do this?”
The very air in the room transformed as all three alphas closed in on me.
“Huh?” I looked down at my leg and saw a series of small bruises. “Oh. No, I don’t think you did that. It doesn’t matter, anyway. I just bruise easily.”
Now Lars’s hands were on my other leg, his fingers carefully tracing the line of bruises I had no memory of getting. “Olive, if you’re lying right now?—”
“No, I’m not, I swear.” I caught Lars’s wrist and ran my thumb over his pulse. Fuck, I had to tell them. “I’m on blood thinners, and it means I bruise easily. I never even remember how I get them. They just seem to show up. I know they’re not very attractive.”
Easton huffed and shoved Lars out of the way, pushing so he was between my spread legs. “As if we fucking care about that. Why are you on blood thinners?”
I chewed my lip. This was the moment I’d been dreading—the first obstacle in our new romance that might just be enough to make them run.
Finn shoved Easton back so he and Lars had a little more space to crowd in around me. The cottage had a good-sized kitchen, but it seemed miniscule with these alphas in it.
“You said last night you have health issues,” Finn said softly. “Will you tell us about them?”
I nodded, fixing my eyes on a frayed spot on my sweater—Finn’s sweater.
“I have a genetic hormonal condition that affects the omega hormone omestrogen, and also increases risks for blood clots.” There. Simple. Easy.
Finn cupped my face, and his touch was so gentle I had to swallow back my tears. “I’m sorry, angel. Do you have a doctor? I’m sure we can find someone for you.”
I shrugged. “I just check in with my hematologist once a year and they renew my prescription. The condition doesn’t really require monitoring.”
“And are you okay as long as you take the medication?” he asked.
Ughh. Damn them for having follow-up questions.
“Pretty much.” My voice came out in the most unconvincing high-pitched squeak I’d ever heard. There was silence in the kitchen, and then all of us burst out laughing.
Lars put his arm around me, tucking me into his side. “At least we know you’re a shit liar.”
I pressed my hesitant smile into his chest and breathed him in. There was a salty tinge to his earthy scent this morning.
“It might affect a few more things,” I said with a sigh. “Like my mood.” I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t want to see it—the way they would awkwardly shift their weight and tell me it wasn’t a big deal when we all knew it was. “I call them my dark days. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to the timing—they come up out of the blue, sometimes lasting for a day or two, and other times up to a week.”
Someone’s hand gently squeezed my leg, but I kept my eyes closed. “I can feel it coming on. It’s like… it’s like being out in the middle of a still ocean and then, out of nowhere, a wave starts to build. There’s nothing you can do, no place you can go to hide. All you can do is brace yourself as it crashes down. The sadness is so overwhelming it’s like I’m drenched and gasping for air. No matter what I do, how hard I try, I can’t get dry or warm. Even though I know this has happened before, and all those times I somehow made it out of the storm, in that moment, it feels like forever.”
“Baby.” Easton’s voice was devastatingly tender. There was a shuffle of movement, and then he was in front of me again, pressing a kiss to my forehead. I allowed myself to melt into his chest. “That day I came with the welcoming committee?” he asked softly.
I nodded. Of course, he put it together, my awful behavior that day. I couldn’t hide anything from him. Would he still want me now that he knew I wasn’t his sunshine?
“Eventually, it passes,” I continued. “And you should be happy, and to some degree, you are. But then you walk through your house and see the mess you’ve made and the bridges you’ve burned in your relationships, and it convinces you that this is all your life will ever be. You’re too much of a burden to those around you, and you wouldn’t want to subject them to the darkness anyway.”
Easton picked me up off the counter, my arms and legs wrapped around him. He moved me so Lars and Finn could surround me. Their large bodies caged me in, shielding me, protecting me.
“It’s a good thing I’m not afraid of the dark,” Easton said.
Just tell them all of it, the voice in my head said. But maybe it was better to space it out. Knowing their omega was a moody, irritable mess was enough information for the day.
“What helps when you’re feeling that way?” Finn asked, his voice rough. “You said your parents would sit with you?”
“Yeah, they did. But there’s no medication or anything that will fix it.”
“I get that, sweet girl. But we want to help you when you feel like that.”
“It’s not just depression, though,” I said. “I’m irritable and just awful to be around. The next time it happens, I can let you all know and you can keep your distance until it’s over.”
“Huh,” Easton said, jiggling me in his arms. “Did you two know our omega was such a comedian?”
“I certainly didn’t,” Lars said, stroking his hand down my hair.
Finn gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him. “You will tell us the next time you feel it coming on, and we will do whatever the fuck we can to make it easier for you, except for leaving you alone.”
“You say that now…”
“Yeah, I do.” His gaze was firm, unwavering, and it made me want to submit to him.
I wrinkled my nose as I caught the scent of something burning, and it broke the tension in the kitchen. Lars cursed as he removed the smoking pan off the stove, Finn muttered something about me needing a spanking, and Easton set me back on the counter, his body still pressed against mine.
“We’re here for you, baby,” he said. “And we’re not leaving. ”
I believed that he believed his words, but things could change. My omega was a lot to handle, and not in a good way. But as Lars handed me a plate with rolled-up cinnamon sugar Swedish pancakes, I decided I would let myself enjoy this. Even if it didn’t last, nothing could take away this slice of happiness right now.