13. James
13
JAMES
Dinner and a movie.
Probably one of the most classic date nights, right?
I picked up Ivy like a gentleman and then the universe delivered me a swift kick downhill from there.
It made sense to start with a movie — something to talk about at dinner. Very logical decision. We turned up to Starlight’s Hollywood Cinema and I’d never heard of the film spelled out in black letters on the marquee.
“ Ephemeral …” I recited stiltedly.
Ivy peered at the poster in the window. I fought to keep my eyes from wandering downwards because she stirred something feral inside me with her tights and skirt combo. “From soil to soul,” she said, reading out the tagline.
What the hell? It was a single-theater cinema. Why wouldn’t they show something to get as many butts in the seats as possible?
“I thought they would be showing the new Operation: Blackout film.” Now I felt like an idiot for asking if Ivy liked the action/thriller heist franchise.
Ivy shook her head with a laugh. “They haven’t even shown Operation: Phantom or Operation: Vortex yet.”
I looked at her in disbelief. “But they came out two and four years ago.”
“Yeah but the explosions are too loud for Missy and Herbert.”
“Missy and…”
“The DeWitts, who run this place.”
I double-checked the signage plastered across the overhang. “But it says Hollywood Cinema,” I said blankly.
Ivy shrugged.
“Alright. Ephemeral it is.”
I told myself a runtime of almost three hours was normal for an arthouse film.
It was not and it absolutely should not have been allowed for this one.
After thirty excruciating minutes of watching the moon-faced actor make brooding faces at a succulent plant that wouldn’t grow, I had to say something.
“Ivy.” I leaned over our long-empty popcorn bucket. “How do they stay open showing films like this?”
Ivy, inexplicably, remained glued to the screen. “Mostly because of them,” she said, jabbing her thumb backwards.
I turned around and saw the vague shapes of teenagers…not watching the film. Now that I was aware of it, all I could hear were the ghastly sounds of slurping alongside the movie’s depressing soundtrack.
“Ok, that’s it.” I sat forward in my chair, ready to stand up. “Come on, Ivy, let’s get out of here.”
“But I want to know if he manages to replant it in his garden,” Ivy protested.
Her pouty lower lip was suspicious.
“Do you really?”
“Yes.”
She was fucking with me and it was cute.
But I also really needed to get out of here.
“What’s the main character’s name?” I asked her, unable to keep the accusing tone out of my voice.
Her giggle was a devious little sound. “I have no idea,” she gasped.
I grabbed her hand and pulled her up. “Alright, we’re going,” I muttered.
Once we were finally free and back outside, I checked the time and wondered how I was going to salvage the evening. “Do you mind having dinner a bit earlier at La Dolce Vita?” I asked.
“La Dolce Vita?” she echoed. “It’s the last Friday of the month, isn’t it? Antonio won’t be opening the restaurant today.”
I was a house of cards and her words the lightest flick of a finger. “What do you mean it’s not open today? I checked Google.”
Ivy gave me a sympathetic sort of grimace.
I was an idiot for relying on Google — got it.
“Antonio takes his Nonna to visit her grandkids and great-grandkids once a month. Her house is too small to host everyone so they go to his sister’s.”
That was very lovely for Antonio’s family but where the hell did that leave me? Literally out in the cold. I scrambled to come up with a solution, any solution, and was left with nothing.
“Hey.”
A mittened hand slid down my back and Ivy’s chin came to rest on my shoulder. I automatically wrapped my arm around her.
“You said you’d bring me back to your place yesterday.” Her big blue eyes were practically glowing. “Does the offer still stand?”
“Jesus, of course, yes.”
She gave my sleeve a gentle tug. “Ok good. But drive us to the market first and then yours.”
I dug around in my pocket for my phone. “Let me give Rome a heads up.”
Did I want to reveal to Ivy that the three of us had a group chat separate from her? No, because if she saw how much we had overthought every facet of our courtship of her she would run for the hills.
Date is a disaster
We’re going to Mariposa’s and then I’m bringing Ivy back to ours
LOGAN
Is she upset?
Not in the slightest, I’m the one freaking out
ROME
I’ll make myself scarce
You don’t have to do that
ROME
This is your date, babe
Logan, you free?
LOGAN
Yeah come by
ROME
Excellent. I think we should find out if you’re a better sous chef than James at Overcooked.
Ok sure. Good luck with not getting your head put through the TV when you yell CUT MY CUCUMBER over and over
ROME
Goodbye I’m done with this conversation
LOGAN
I take that back I’m not free
ROME
Already outside man
After we parked, Ivy had a little extra bounce in her step as we walked hand-in-hand into Mariposa Market. She meandered down the baking aisle. “Mm, I feel like crepes.”
“For dinner?” I knew omegas liked sweet things but dessert for dinner seemed to be taking it to extremes.
“Why not?” Ivy shrugged. “Do you have any flour at home?”
“Probably not.”
“Eggs? Butter?”
I tried to think of when we last did a proper planned grocery shop instead of buying only what we needed for dinner that night. “How about you assume Rome and I live under a tarp,” I finally said.
I was very, very lucky that Ivy found that funny but we would have to get our act together when we lived as a pack in the future.
Woah, jumping the gun much?
But once I started to imagine coming home to Ivy it was very hard to stop. Maybe she would be cuddling on the couch with Rome and Logan. Baked buttery goodness, pine and mulled wine heavy in the air. Her cheeks slightly rosy, a knowing smile on the alphas’ faces and when I lifted the blanket draped over them I would find?—
“Oh my gosh, look how big this jar of Nutella is!”
Ivy wasn’t kidding. It was so big she was cradling it like a chocolatey child. The need to touch her overwhelmed me and I closed the gap between us with a quick pull of her hips.
“Get it,” I said, my voice gravelly.
“You’ll never be able to finish it.” I watched her lips part slightly, the gradual expanse of her pupils.
I was spiraling dangerously off the deep end. “Maybe I could if I put it on something I really wanted to lick.”
That earned me a light smack, bringing me back to reality. “James, no!” she chastised me with a giggle. Why did that tone make my dick hard too? “That’s not sanitary.”
“I meant a spoon.”
“You did not .”
I really wanted to kiss her there and then. In the middle of that fluorescent-lit aisle, surrounded by jars and risking anybody seeing.
But I second guessed it for a beat too long. The moment passed as she turned to swap out the comically large Nutella for a smaller one.
There was something about driving home together with groceries in the backseat. It ran a neural pathway in my brain that lit up and made me want to traverse it again and again. Small things to a big life.
She let me lay my hand on her thigh the entire way. Tracing circles with my thumb and fighting the urge to explore higher.
Ivy looked right at home searching our cupboards for a mixing bowl and spatula, drifting around the kitchen in stockinged feet. I bent over to show her where the hand beaters were and I was pretty sure she ogled my butt.
I got to work washing and cutting up strawberries when I heard her gasp behind me.
“James, why do you have an entire cupboard section filled with spicy ramen?”
Sometimes I forgot it was there. I had long surrendered that part of the kitchen to it.
“When we first moved, I mentioned in passing to my mom that I liked that particular brand and flavor,” I said, continuing to chop strawberries. “She sent me a wholesaler-size box the next day.”
Ivy’s demeanor softened, her palm splayed across her chest. “She missed you.”
I nodded. Every word was trapped in a tangle of emotions. “My family is just my mom and I. I feel like she put her life on hold having me. Not that she would ever admit it,” I said, plucking the leaves off a strawberry aimlessly. “The week I started college she told me she went on a date which…I was happy about but also horrified by.”
“That’s a completely understandable emotion. What about your dad?”
There was no judgment in her question. Only a tender sort of curiosity that came from years of knowing how to create a safe place for children to voice their vulnerabilities.
“I never knew him,” I admitted. “Mom was originally from Singapore and moved to New York for work. Met my dad and made me, I guess. That’s about all he contributed to who I am.”
A sperm donor, nothing more.
Sometimes I wondered about the other half of my genes. I hated that I wanted to know, as if I was somehow incomplete by not knowing. Then came the guilt for the implication that my mother — who had sacrificed so much yet never made me feel like I wasn’t worth it — hadn’t been enough.
“Mom had her tiger mom tendencies.” I suppressed a shudder when I remembered trying to hide that I’d gotten a C on a pop quiz. “But she was fully supportive when I told her I wanted to be a vet,” I continued. “Even so…it was lonely growing up. I think that’s why I’ve always…always wanted a…”
I’m sure the fact that I always wanted to be part of a pack was making a therapist’s pen itch somewhere.
“I’ve only ever known pack life looking from the outside in too,” Ivy said softly.
Too. I don’t know how she offered so much grace and understanding in a simple word. She was an omega, sweet as anything and the perfect heart of a pack. I was a beta and the jury was still out on whether that life was meant for us. Yet right here right now, we were the same, the ache in my chest a twin of hers.
“My family are all betas except for me.” Ivy hugged her delicate frame tightly. “I was always fascinated by how different packs lived. Wondering how they all fit together. I never felt like I understood it.” She stared at the floor, one foot swinging back and forth aimlessly. “Maybe that’s why I’m still unbonded after all these years.”
I couldn’t go another second without touching her. A brush of her arm and she unraveled like a fine thread, clinging to me.
“We can figure it out together,” I said against her hair. “I think you were meant for us.”
Her breath caught like a snapshot and embedded itself in my memory. Ivy lifted her head off my chest and I was ensnared by the deep endless blue of her eyes.
I wasn’t ready for them to flutter close as she closed the distance between us for a kiss.