Chapter 35
Sonnet had been to plenty of fancy restaurants.
Mom loved having a good evening out and the chance to wear an elegant dress and pearls, and Dad loved doing anything to make Mom happy.
But Sonnet never felt quite right going with them.
She felt even more out of place when she started dying her hair to the dismay of her family, which was one of the reasons Summer and Scarlett started dying theirs.
“Solidarity sisters,” they told her.
She hated fancy food, shoes that pinched her toes together, and the dark atmosphere. When her alphas came home from their appointment, each looking worn down, she felt nervous when they said they all wanted to take her to dinner tonight to someplace nice. She did not pack clothes for a nice place.
She pulled out of her closet the only dress slightly acceptable to wear, and it was one she had sewn together herself.
It had eight layers of different fabrics with floral prints in shades of pastel pinks, yellows, blues, and lavenders, with lace sewn in between to add texture.
The top was well-fitted with spaghetti straps, and the skirt allowed for some flow.
Summer called it her ‘elegant granny gown.’
“Granny me it’ll have to be.” She sighed and pulled on some sandals, fixed her curled hair by adding some mini butterfly claw clips, added many colorful necklaces and rings, and froze in the mirror. “Please, please let this be okay.”
There was a knock at her door, and she jumped. Jude let himself in, wearing a comfortable, cream colored linen outfit; his shirt unbuttoned and sleeves rolled up.
He clutched his chest dramatically when he saw her and pretended to swoon. “Hang on. I need to catch my breath for a minute.”
She laughed. “You think it’s okay to wear to dinner?”
He shamelessly hugged her waist and kissed her cheek. “I think you look beautiful.”
“But” she bit her bottom lip, “do I look good enough for dinner?”
“Good enough?” Jude shook his head. “Sonnet. You look DEVINE!” He shouted, twirling her around, warranting a few laughs, before placing her back on her feet and tilting her chin towards him.
“Zayden picked out a restaurant down the coast. It’s nice, but it’s supposed to be relaxing, too.
None of us wanted something too serious. ”
“Thank goodness.” She finally took a long inhale and relaxed her hand into Jude’s as they left the master bedroom. “Are you all okay? When you came back, you all seemed…” She bit her tongue. She didn’t have a word for how terrible they all looked.
Jude squeezed her hand. “I think we’re going to be okay.”
She smiled. That’s all she could ask for. Whatever was happening between her alphas in her pack, she had hoped that it would resolve itself just like the disconnect between her and her omega. She had trust, faith, and above all, growing fondness and affection for all her men.
Love, even. Lots of it.
“Can’t we bring Goose with us?” She heard Kai holding the wiggling puppy in his arms. Even he was dressed up in clothes similar to Jude, but in darker shades.
“We won’t be gone for very long. He’ll be fine, and he has to learn. Besides,” Zayden scratched Goose under his chin, trying to look nonchalant about the puppy, “I already called. They don’t allow dogs.”
“Is he growing on you?” Sonnet teased.
Zayden pulled his hand away quickly. “No. Absolutely not.”
“Well, he’s growing on me,” Felix admitted, taking Goose from Kai and giving him a few pets before placing him in his overly large carrier with water, a bed, and toys. “Let’s go. I’m ready for a cocktail.”
They all piled into the car, Zayden placing his hand on Sonnet’s thigh as he drove a few miles down the coast into another town, where they parked in front of a beautiful restaurant right on the cliffs of the ocean.
It was a coastal modern mix, made of white wood, with its signage in coastal blue and large seashells decorating the trim.
The waitress seated them outside on the patio, where they could overlook all the boats on the water and the sunset. The chairs were made from white wood, with upholstered seats in a vintage, muted blue fabric that matched the napkins, shaped like a swan.
Now this was the type of fancy restaurant Sonnet could dine in every night.
The menu wasn’t overwhelming, either. Felix ordered tropical fruit skewers with lime tajin, caprese skewers, and coconut shrimp bites for the table to share.
He leaned into her, showing her the cocktail menu. “Would you want to try something?”
“Hm, a Bloody Mary sounds good.”
“Really?” He raised his eyebrows. “I’m surprised. I figured you’d go for something fruitier.”
“Well, there’s still a lot you need to learn about me.”
Kai looked over the main course menu and smirked. “I think I know one thing, and that’s that Sonnet is going to order chicken tenders off of the kid’s menu.”
Sonnet huffed. “Just because I don’t like seafood doesn’t mean I’m that picky. I’m going to get their Mediterranean stuffed peppers, for your information.”
Kai held up his hands in surrender. Their drinks and appetizers arrived quickly, and after ordering their main course, Jude, who sat on the other side of her, looked her over like a puzzle piece.
“I want to learn more about you. Tell us more.”
“Like what?”
“Like everything!”
Sonnet blushed and nursed her drink carefully. “I’m not good at talking about myself. Especially when I’m put on the spot. But if you ask me a question, I’ll try my best to answer it.”
Jude leaned back in his chair and thought carefully for a few seconds. “How about you tell us what you were up to before you met us?”
She definitely kept busy. Living on her own without a college degree didn’t make for an upward climb in a career like her sister's.
“I kept busy working. A lot. I did dog walking, worked as a substitute para educator, sometimes worked as a waitress during events my mom was a part of, and a few other things.”
Dog walking was her favorite. She had grown a very reliable clientele, and she told all of them that someday she’d open her own doggy day-care, and they’d all be welcomed. She’d been talking about that forever now, though, and wasn’t even close to doing it.
“What did you do for fun, though?” Jude asked.
“Mostly everything I did, I did with my girls, Summer and Scarlet. I would see at least one of them every day, and we’d do everything together.
Crafts, like the ones we all made together a few nights ago, or dinner dates, cafe hopping, thrift shopping, concerts.
” Her heart panged a little. “I miss them a lot,” she admitted. “It’s weird not seeing them.”
“Summer still scares me,” Jude whispered.
Sonnet laughed and nodded her head. “She can be pretty intimidating. She’s always been like that, too. I don’t know how I would have gotten through high school without her. She and Scarlett saved me from a lot of bullies.”
Felix placed his arm on the back of her chair, his face serious. “You were bullied?”
She shrugged it off and smiled like it wasn’t a core memory of her childhood, but it was.
It wasn’t hard for the kids at her private school to learn she was an affair baby.
No one liked gossiping and judging more than stuck-up rich people.
She hoped Middle School would be the worst of it, but High School proved her wrong.
At least she had Scarlett, who rescued her when she most needed it.
“Do any of you have siblings?” She asked, trying to change the topic.
Felix and Kai shook their heads no, but Jude grinned. “I have lots. Five! Three sisters, two brothers, and I’m the middle child.”
“So am I,” Zayden said slowly. “I have an older brother and a younger one. I’m close to neither.” Zayden smiled sadly as he tapped his finger on the table. “My family is a bit complicated. I came from very high standards and expectations, and when I didn’t meet them, they cut ties.”
“Really?” Sonnet couldn’t imagine not being close to her sister or being disowned. Even everything they’ve been through, Summer was half her soul. She’d be lonely without her.
But that’s why Zayden had Felix, Kai, and Jude. And her, too.
Zayden shrugged his shoulders. “I accepted it a long time ago.”
The conversation died down as their meals were brought to the table and they all indulged.
The mood was so much lighter and welcoming than she could have imagined, especially given how the boys came home from their appointment.
They didn’t let whatever happened hold them down.
Even Kai kept his grumpy, rude comments to a minimum, and Zayden tried his best to smile instead of sulking.
With their bellies full and the sun just a small glow above the waves, Sonnet felt comfortable enough to wrap one of her legs around Felix’s and squeeze Jude’s hand, which was still on her lap.
As the server passed around some desserts and a closing glass of wine, Sonnet tried to capture this moment to keep forever as a reminder of what happiness looked like.
Oh, Mother. How could you ever think being an omega with a pack could be so terrible?
Her omega winced and then fluttered when her alphas kept pestering her with questions.
She tried to cover it all, like her favorite movie being Ever After, long rants about wanting to open her own doggy day dare, her love for granny hobbies and the need to live a happy, whimsical life.
The more they talked, the deeper they got, and soon even the boys were revealing things such as Jude’s struggle in school and being unable to focus, which Kai attested to, and Felix spoke more about his grandma being sick, and everyone was relieved to hear she was perfectly healthy now.
Felix nursed his remaining glass of wine and twirled a strand of her hair. “I have a question. Why do you dye your hair?”
Sonnet hummed softly, biting on her bottom lip and stared into the pit of her glass.
“My birth mother used to dye her hair all the time, and even when it all started to fall out, she’d wear these beautiful wigs.
The pink one was my favorite. She’d let me wear it sometimes, and dress in her clothes, wear her jewelry, her makeup, stumble around in her high heels.
” When she looked up, everyone looked sad and like they were trying to hold in a secret but failing.
She stifled a little laugh and set down her wine glass.
“Don’t be silly. I know Felix told you all that I’m an affair baby. ”
Felix had admitted he had told Zayden because he was worried about her after their little afternoon of excitement, and from there, Sonnet quickly realized the beans had been spilled to Kai and Jude, too.
And the funny thing was, she wasn’t even mad about it.
She was glad they had told each other, so she didn’t have to repeat her little sob story four different times.
Sonnet squeezed Felix’s hand to reassure him and smiled.
“My mother is, well, my mother. But Mom is the one you're all going to meet when we get back. I guess she’s my stepmom, but I’ve never referred to her as that.
I promised her she’d get to meet you all, so I hope when that dinner comes, you’ll all behave yourselves like you have tonight. ”
Everyone agreed, but Kai still seemed a little lost in his world. He leaned forward, hands grasped together, his expression serious. “Do you dye your hair to remember her? Your birth mother?”
“Yes. Scarlett and Summer dye their hair, too. But they do it for me. They’re my solidarity sisters.”
“Why would you want to remember the woman who abandoned you?”
The question stung, and she couldn’t help but flinch.
Jude and Zayden scolded him quickly, but Kai wasn’t fazed.
He really wanted to know. But Kai, or any of them, didn’t know her birth mother was a prostitute who sold herself to wealthy men, and that those memories of dressing up with her were the only few good ones Sonnet had.
She didn’t want to lose that. She didn’t want to think of her birth mother as anything other than a woman who tried really, hard.
She couldn’t tell them. She couldn’t taint her birth mother like that, or let them be angry at her, or shameful towards her. Her mother wasn’t just some whore or some lady who abandoned her daughter. She was lovely, intelligent, and amazing.
“Because I love her,” Sonnet said softly. “And I don’t want to forget her. I’m not ready yet.”
It was hard to grieve someone who was still living, and Sonnet struggled with that grief nearly every day of her life, like an elephant sitting on her chest.
When she told her alphas, they all reacted deeply, and she appreciated their gentleness in holding the burdens of her pain. Instead of asking more questions and making a big fuss, they wrapped up their meal and headed back home.
She sat in the back, wedged between Jude and Kai. When they pulled up to their coastal Airbnb, none of them wanted to leave her side.
They all filled up the space in the master bedroom, talking lightheartedly and tiredly teasing one another. Jude and Felix took up the bed with her and Goose, while Zayden rested on the sofa in the corner of the room, and Kai stretched out on the floor.
One by one, they each fell asleep, Sonnet the last one, and as she drifted away, all she could think about was how she wished her mother could meet these incredible alpha men who had given her such comfort, peace, and affection.