Chapter 38
Okay, fine. I’m falling for this girl. Sue me.
Asking Sonnet on a date felt like the riskiest thing Kai had ever done, and Kai had done a lot.
As much as he didn’t want to admit it, if it weren’t for everything he talked to Zayden about in the water, he might not have had the balls to ask her.
Turns out their lead alpha was still good at leading.
Kai didn’t want to be a cocky jerk, but in the past, girls had always come to him, and he hardly needed to put in any effort.
He was stealing panties left and right from women without any intention to commit.
It was wrong, but back then, none of those women were potential mates, so it didn’t matter to him. But Sonnet meant everything to him.
“Your hair looks good, by the way,” Sonnet said as they walked along the small, tourist downtown area. Their hands kept bumping into each other, but Kai was still hesitant to hold it. “Jude was right. Purple really does suit you.”
She likes how we look. His alpha purred.
He stood up a bit straighter. “Thanks. Think the fans will like it?”
“Definitely. But hopefully not too much.”
Her scent tinged a bit. She was jealous. Kai loved that and hated it at the same time. He didn’t want her to worry about the fans or what her alphas would do with them.
He grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “Maybe when Goose gets older, we can use pet-friendly dye for his fur. I’ve seen groomers do it on YouTube and TikTok. He’d look adorable.”
Sonner squeezed his hand and beamed up at him. “You really love animals, huh? I think that’s adorable.”
She’s going to give me a heart attack.
Puff up your chest! Spit!
Spit?
Yeah. It’s manly.
His alpha laughed, and Kai did his best to shut him out. He led Sonnet around a corner to an ice cream parlor and bought them an elaborate banana split to share. They found a semi-private bench overlooking the water and the sunset, but the view was nothing compared to his omega beside him.
Sonnet really wasn’t like any girl he had been seen with before.
Typically, he had gone for edgier girls with tattoos, piercings, and dark clothing.
Girls who liked to go to the club and pretended to be someone else, but that wasn’t Sonnet.
Despite what she’d been through, that girl didn’t like to pretend.
She wore her bright-colored clothes, all her jewelry, and her pink hair, and she wore it all happily because that was the point. Those things made her happy.
Kai couldn’t help but also think about when she was talking about her birth mother, not the woman who raised her into this amazing woman, but the one who had abandoned her.
She had looked grief-stricken even though she had no hostility and looked impossibly sad for someone who shone like sunlight.
And for some reason, he felt more drawn to the sadder part of her soul than her excited one.
Maybe that’s because his soul was sad, too.
Sonnet’s phone buzzed, and her screen lit up with text messages from her family group chat, most of them from the woman she called mom. Sonnet smiled and turned her camera to capture a selfie of them both before sending it.
“I hope you got my good angle,” he teased, trying to rein in how much his heart was thumping.
“Every angle of yours is good. Look! Mom hearted it.”
Kai leaned over and scowled. “Yeah, but Summer put a thumbs down.” He huffed. “I’m not looking forward to trying to win her over. You’re going to have to prep us all before dinner with your family.”
“Believe me, I know. But I really can’t wait for you to meet them all. They’re a big part of my life, and I just know it’s killing Mom not having met any of you yet. Your mom is probably the same, huh?”
Kai’s muscles tensed right away at the mention of his mother, and he almost let the sundae fall out of his hands.
“My mom…” The words caught in his throat.
When was the last time he had to talk about her?
Kai did well to keep his mother in a locked, sealed box in his mind, one that his alpha protected closely. But thinking about Sonnet’s birth mother, he couldn’t help but start thinking about his own.
He cleared his throat and dug his spoon into the sundae. “My mother passed away two years ago. She passed away from substance abuse and alcohol.”
Sonnet’s spoon fell from her lips, and her face turned into a twisted, sorrowful expression. “I’m so sorry, Kai.”
Her apology was heavy, and he waited for the rest of the typical responses he normally received, like platitudes or awkward silence.
“Do you want to tell me about her? I know she’s not here, but I’d love to know about her.”
She’s so perfect.
The last time someone had made the burden of losing his mother easier was Jude, who sat with him in silence for an entire 24 hours before helping him prepare for her funeral.
Now, Sonnet was giving him the exact opposite, which was bringing his mother back to life by talking about her, but he didn’t even know where to begin.
“I don’t know what to say.”
Sonnet put down the sundae and sat crisscrossed on the bench, extending her hands so that she was holding his. “What was her name?”
“Alice. Alissa, technically, but she called herself Alice.”
“Alice is a beautiful name.”
Kai looked down at their interlocked hands.
He didn’t think this was where they’d end up on their date, but he wasn’t disappointed by it.
In fact, he had almost hoped for this. That he would be able to finally show someone the darkness inside him, and instead of running away, he’d finally be embraced.
“My mother had me when she was young. Sixteen, I think. And she lived in a very strict house, so when they found out she was pregnant, they wanted to send her away to carry me and then put me up for adoption. But my mother didn’t want that, so she ran away with my father and never looked back.”
“She sounds like a strong and ambitious woman. I think I understand why you’re so stubborn and strong-willed.” She smiled, lessening the blow of his heavy words and encouraging him to go on.
“She was the strongest woman I knew. I never want anyone to think differently. She fought hard for a good life, and I know how she died says a lot, but no one can speak for her. No one knows her like I did.” Kai pulled his hands away and began to crack his knuckles, looking back out towards the water.
“I wish I were as strong as her, because maybe then I could have helped her better and been a better son.”
“I think I understand.” Sonnet choked back a sob and was holding back tears.
Kai cupped her face gently, a story of her own woes dancing in the waves of her tears, but she said nothing of her own pity and focused on him.
“Addiction is terrible and complicated. But you were just a boy. You still are.”
Kai wanted to ask about her tears and her sadness, but his words couldn’t climb over the lump in the back of his throat.
“My father was young, too, and he didn’t know how to take care of his family.
I know it’s not his fault, but I blame him.
My mother was in pain. She just wanted it to stop. I don’t want you to think—”
“I think she was strong. I think she must have been the strongest, kindest woman on this planet. What she did and sacrificed takes a special kind of person. And she is. Because look at you.” Sonnet cupped Kai’s face and wiped away tears he didn’t know he was shedding.
“You are an embodiment of all the good she was. That’s what I think. ”
He didn’t understand. He had been such an ass the last couple of weeks to her and to everyone else. When Sonnet climbed on his lap, carefree about whether anyone else was around, and kissed him, he felt a mixture of pure bliss and utter dread.
Did he really deserve this beautiful omega with a heart of gold?
Yes.
Sonnet pulled back, her hands playing in his hair. “Do you feel that?” She asked, placing one of her hands over his heart. “They’re singing together.”
They?
He frowned and listened closely to the melody of his alpha, which was in tune with her omega. He had never heard a more beautiful sound.
Kai put his ear to her chest and listened closer to the sound of her heartbeat and the faint echo of her omega howling.
With his ear against her, he picked up the sound of her heart skipping a beat and the feeling of her body heating up rapidly. When he pulled away, sweat bullets were rolling down her forehead, her face flushed, and she was holding on to her lower abdomen.
“Sonnet?”
“I’m sorry,” she blurted out quickly, before trying to stand up by stumbling. He gripped her hips tightly. “I think I’m having a heat spike.”
Kai stood up right away and pulled her into him, shielding her from whoever could be around.
He saw no one, but it was still light out.
An hour until sunset at least, and no car to get home.
She was out here exposed with only him to ensure her safety and comfort, and he didn’t know what the fuck to do.
He continued to hold Sonnet in his arms as he rang Zayden. “I need help,” he rushed out. “Sonnet thinks she’s having a heat spike, and I don’t know what to do.”
“Okay, okay. Take a deep breath. I’ll drive to you as quick as I can.”
“She’s heating up and in pain.”
Zayden cursed. “Are you nearing the water?”
“Yes!”
“Get her in it quickly. The cold may stop her heat spike or at least calm the symptoms. Keep her in it until I can get to you.”
“Okay.”
Okay. I can do this. I’m her alpha, too. I can take care of her.
“Hang on, baby, hang on.” Kai scooped her into his arms bridal style, throwing the melted sundae into a nearby trash can before descending towards the beach.
The coastline was still populated by people all enjoying the sunset and water.
He held her closer protectively, not wanting anyone to catch her thick scent and come sniffing around what was his.
He veered right towards the rocky area, and the closer he got, the fewer people were around, until finally they were as close to privacy as possible.
Sonnet moaned softly and began to nuzzle his chest. He walked straight into the water until the cold waves were rolling up against them both.
She gasped and dug her nails into his shoulder.
“Hang on,” he whispered, wading them over onto the other side of a rock. “How are you doing, baby?”
She blinked a few times as if fighting for control. She loosened her grip around him but didn’t let go completely. What Kai saw in her eyes wasn’t primal lust, but passion and desire for him.
Kai gulped. “Sonnet?”
“I’m okay,” she said slowly, as if most of her strength was going into holding back her omega’s heat spike. “I think the cold is working.”
“Yeah?” He smirked and brushed some of her wet hair out of her face. “Then why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
“You know what.” Sonnet tilted her head, her eyes narrowing in on his lips. He growled at her. “Sonnet. Zayden will be here soon. Just focus on the cold water and not on me.”
“I feel better. I think my heat spike is gone.”
“Oh, really?”
“Don’t scoff,” she laughed, but the sound wasn’t typical; it was raspy and needy. She pressed herself closer to him, her eyes rolling down towards his lips and back up to his eyes. “Thank you for taking care of me, Kai. You’re a good alpha.”
The compliment struck him in his core. Between her scent, her words, and her gaze, Kai felt like he was on the verge of losing control and slipping into a rut.
He couldn’t—wouldn’t—do that to Sonnet, but she damn sure made it hard to control himself.
It was like being in a room filled with desserts and being told he couldn’t have even a small taste.
Would Sonnet taste just like she smelled?
Sonnet smirked as if she could hear his dirty, rambling thoughts. “Can I kiss you?”
Kai flinched, and he could feel his face heating up despite the cold waves rocking against them. “No.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m trying to behave myself.”
“My heat spike—”
“Might be calming down, but if you kiss me, then I’m the one who’ll need to be calmed down.”
Her eyes widened slightly as she understood what he was saying, but then they narrowed, and she became even more determined than before. “Are you worried you’re going to hurt me?”
Yes.
Kai began to massage the back of her neck, subtly pulling her closer towards him. “I’m not known for being soft-natured.”
“And yet I have complete faith you’d be soft with me.” She batted her eyelashes and leaned in, her lips just a breath from his. “I’m not asking for anything more than a kiss.”
But just a kiss was how trouble started.
But since when did Kai turn away from trouble?
He wasted no time closing the distance between their lips, and this time, he made sure Sonnet wasn’t going to pull away. He guided her legs to wrap around his hips, showing no shyness that his bulge was pressed against her, revealing how worked up she had made him.
The kiss did not last nearly enough, but the sounds of her soft moans as the waves rocked them against each other were a recipe for disaster. He moved his mouth from her lips and down her chin, her neck, her collarbone.
“Kai,” she gasped.
He growled, deepening and strengthening his kisses along her collarbone, which made her moans intensify, leaving small, faint Hickie's as he went. He made each one purposeful. A statement to the others that he had been here and was staying.
He pulled back, his hands twisted in her hair, his gaze firm.
He was going to stay.
A lump formed in the back of his throat.
I’m going to stay. For her. For them.
Kai didn’t want to be alone anymore. He didn’t care how much damage had been caused in the pack by his hands or Zayden.
He didn’t care anymore about his anger, his resentment, his grudges.
The key to happiness was right here in his arms, and he wouldn’t let his own pride and stubbornness get in the way of keeping it.
Kai kissed her again, and again, and again, and the fear of losing himself to a rut dispersed.
This wasn’t about lust. This was about passion and desire and falling in love.
He wanted her more than he had wanted anything before, even a successful music career, and he wouldn’t let that desire be tainted by cheap lust. When he has her, it would be warm and soft and beautiful.
It’d be in her nest back home, with the others as well, when she’s ready to make the decision to bond. He wouldn’t have her earlier than that.
When he finally pulled away, he could tell she was disappointed, but also relieved.
He sighed, trying to reel in all his pent-up feelings, and smiled. “Zayden will be here soon. Let’s go wait for him back up the hill, okay?”
She scrunched her nose. “Alright.”
They walked out of the water, collected their hidden wallets and phones, and walked back up the sandy hill hand in hand. When Zayden arrived, Kai sat in the back seat with Sonnet, who had fallen asleep on the ride home.
Kai said nothing to Zayden, but they made eye contact in the rearview mirror, and Kai nodded at him. A small thank you.