Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Raul
T he moment we step into the library, I unfurl my gift. My awareness ripples through every shadow that drapes across the bookcases and beneath the tables, confirming that no one else has ventured out this way at this hour of the evening.
Bastien doesn’t like being bossed around, since he figures he’s the only one of us wise enough to give orders. He keeps scowling the whole way to the small repair room where we can carry out a discreet conversation, but he is at least smart enough to keep his mouth shut.
The second the door clicks shut behind us and Lorenzo has tapped on the magical lantern, my older foster brother whirls on me. His voice is flat but biting. “Why did you need to drag us all the way down here? You know we’re trying to avoid drawing suspicion.”
I glower right back at him, wrinkling my nose at the lingering smell of binding glue. “We decided to stay apart because we didn’t know what Aurelia was going to do. It’s obvious she isn’t spilling our secrets. She’s on our side.”
Bastien lets out an incredulous guffaw at the same time as Lorenzo’s face twitches. Neven glances between the three of us, looking more bewildered than anything.
“She could have been by our side.” Bastien jabs his finger vaguely toward the ballroom. “She decided she’d rather marry that psychopathic prick and sit in the lap of luxurious corruption.”
Lorenzo’s illusionary voice sounds mournful as it travels into my head. “She won’t even look at us now. We offered her so much…”
She offered him more than anyone, while he welcomed her with his heart on his sleeve. I can see why her seeming rejection deflated him. But still?—
I swipe my hand through the air dismissively. “Don’t you see? She’s protecting us. After everything she was brave enough to do?—”
Neven interrupts me. “What are you talking about? She made you all use your gifts when you could have been caught, and then she turned her back on us. She hasn’t done anything at all to thank you.”
I can’t stop a laugh from sputtering out of me. “You don’t think so? She did exactly what we always planned to do. She did our dirty work for us, all by herself—she saw it was still possible to win even when we gave up ages ago.”
Bastien’s gaze sharpens into a glare. “Now you just sound insane. What work did she do?”
I have to drop my voice even though I can feel that there’s no one remotely nearby to overhear. “She killed Tarquin, you idiots. Did you really think him dying on her own fucking wedding night was a coincidence? ”
Lorenzo blinks at me, his brow knitting. “How could she have killed him? The medics said it was a natural death.”
“I was dancing with her when he fell,” Bastien adds. “Had her hands right in mine. I think I’d have noticed if she’d carried out an assassination.”
Neven frowns. “Didn’t she run right over to see if she could cure him?”
“Of course she needed a cover story.” I exhale in a rush of exasperation. “Do you really think a woman so stoic she could hide the fact that she’s dying from food poisoning couldn’t fake a little concern? That a woman who could outsmart every noble lady in the imperial court and cure herself of anything shy of a broken bone couldn’t come up with some secret means of offing an old man?”
Bastien studies me for a long moment. When he speaks again, he’s more resigned than angry. “I think you’re telling yourself stories to make yourself feel better about our epic misjudgment.”
My frustration spills out of me in a growl. “I saw her right after she stepped away from Tarquin. There was a moment when she looked as if the whole weight of the world had been taken off her shoulders.”
Lorenzo offers me a pained smile. “Being glad he’s gone doesn’t mean she murdered him.”
He probably doesn’t want to believe Aurelia would resort to murder. That’s the problem with all of them, isn’t it?
I’m the one who sparred with her, who stirred up her hotter emotions. She was mostly soft with them, but I saw how fierce she could be.
Aurelia has every bit as much grit and fire in that gorgeous body as I do when I’m slaughtering opponents in the arena.
Except I’ve only imagined the bodies I toppled were our Imperial Eminences. She was brilliant enough to take on the real thing.
I give it one last try, for her. “I know it was her. It wouldn’t have made any sense for her to stay here after she saw what callous fucks Tarquin and Marclinus were—unless she was sure at least one of them would be out of the way soon. Whatever you can say about her, she was never stupid. She’s a fucking hero.”
Lorenzo’s head droops, as if complimenting the woman who once lit him up brighter than that lantern now pains him.
Bastien only gives me a brief grimace. “You’re making the assumptions you want to be true.”
Neven’s hands ball at his sides, but he stays silent. I couldn’t expect anything else from the kid—he’s been on the sidelines this whole time. He doesn’t know what Aurelia is capable of.
Clenching my jaw, I spin on my heel. “Just wait until she proves it to you. We owe her better than this. We promised her we’d be there for her no matter what.”
Since none of my foster brothers seem inclined to get their heads out of their asses tonight, I stalk off to do just that on my own.
Gods above, how alone must Aurelia be feeling right now? She hasn’t risked talking to us in two days, and it’s not as if she has any other allies, let alone friends, in the entire court. She sure as fuck can’t count her husband as one.
Our princess—no, our empress —is so strong, she can endure almost anything. She isn’t going to let a little loneliness get in the way of her mission. But I saw how she came alive in our arms.
I know she craves so much more, so much better , than the jackass now on the throne could ever provide.
She deserves to know I’m still standing with her, that I’m speaking up on her behalf with the others. That she won’t have to see the rest of her brilliant plans through on her own.
There’s got to be something useful I can contribute.
I don’t have many options for approaching the new empress, of course. Thanks to her heightened status, she’s got at least a couple of guards monitoring her everywhere she goes… except the privacy of her own chambers.
So I head straight from the library to the unused bedroom in the same hall as my own.
The secret passages in the walls go all the way up to the imperial apartments on the third floor. Each of the bedrooms up there has its own entrance, from back when the imperial family trusted their staff enough to allow them easier access.
Each of those discreet panels was bolted shut with the closing up of the network. It wouldn’t have done us any good to gain access to Marclinus’s or Tarquin’s chambers anyway, not as soon as it became clear just how well their guards were able to protect them even at a distance from any threat we could present.
I’m not looking to threaten now, only to talk.
I took the little spare time I’ve had in the past two days working the bolts free and setting aside the metal slabs that secured the sliding panel in the wall of the empress’s bedroom. This morning, I peeled off the last of them. When I reach the right branch in the passage, there’s nothing left blocking my entrance.
Pausing outside the panel, I hesitate. Is it worth the risk of using my gift? I don’t even know if Aurelia has left the ball. If she has, it’s possible the guards who’d have followed her have the same gift for detecting magic as some of Marclinus’s.
The consequences of a misstep would destroy everything I’ve come here for.
I waver in indecision and then lean my head close to the edge of the panel, my ear grazing the wood. If I can’t “see” what’s going on in the shadows beyond, maybe my regular senses will help me out.
For the first few minutes, I pick up nothing at all. Just as impatience digs its claws into me so deep I almost give in, there’s a faint rustling sound, like a restless body turning over beneath the sheets.
A smile crosses my lips. I’m about to nudge the panel open when a raspy snore carries through the wall.
My body goes rigid. I don’t think that sound is from Aurelia.
In fact, it sounds an awful lot like the snores I remember from various times Marclinus got drunk to the point of passing out on a sofa or a rug somewhere around the palace.
Fuck. I was so focused on her I was hardly thinking straight. They just got married—of course he’ll be exerting his marital rights as often and as thoroughly as he can.
A surge of fury rushes through me. My hands ball at my sides with the urge to grasp the nearest swatch of shadow, harden it into a blade, and carve open the prick from throat to gut.
I tense my muscles against the anger with as even a breath as I can draw. No. I can’t be an idiot about this and let my temper take over.
As much as a very large part of me would like to storm in there and pummel the imperial asshole to smithereens, I know his guard wouldn’t fail to notice such an aggressive intrusion. I’d be throwing my own life away and lucky to deal out so much as a scratch in the process.
I grapple with my options, listening the snores carry on. I’ve definitely never heard a sound like that out of Marclinus when he wasn’t outright unconscious.
There’s a chance Aurelia is still awake. I can give her an opening, whatever she thinks is best to do with the chance .
Bastien would say I’m insane, but I do know this woman. If he’d get the stick out of his ass, he’d realize he does too.
I slide my hand through the darkness to the spot that’ll release the panel and press firmly.
As the hidden door slides open with the faintest of rasps, my entire body tenses. If Marclinus reacts or his guards outside charge in—I think I can shut the panel again before they’d have the wherewithal to figure out what’s going on. Even if they found the hidden doorway afterward, I’d be long gone within the walls.
But I’d have to be awfully fast. And this point of access would be cut off to me forever.
There are no yells or stomping feet, though. Not even a stutter in Marclinus’s next snore.
The panel halts at its farthest point. I adjust my position so I can peer toward the bed without stepping out—just as the figure at the end closer to me sits up with a rustle of the sheets.
Only the dimmest light from a lantern outside the palace seeps past the closed curtains, but I’m at ease in the dark even when I can’t bring my gift to bear. I recognize the fall of Aurelia’s wavy hair, tumbling over her shoulders with the wildness that suits her so much better than the upswept styles of the past two days.
She stares at me, her deep blue eyes turned black by the night. Her voice comes out in a stiff whisper. “What are you?—”
I hold up my hand to stop her and pitch my voice equally low. “I only came to talk. But we’re safer having a conversation in here.”
Aurelia’s posture turns even more rigid than her voice. “I’m not slipping away into the wall with you.”
Why should she trust me when we were all staring daggers at her two evenings ago throughout her marriage ceremony and the celebrations? When my foster brothers have kept up the glowers ever since?
I’ve tried to catch her eyes only briefly, to convey that I’m still with her but that I recognize the need for caution, but maybe she took my approach for animosity too.
Fuck.
I hold out my hand. “Please. I swear to you on my own life that I’m not here to do you any harm.”
Aurelia’s fingers clench around the bedcovers. “You should go before anyone notices. You know what the guards would do to you.”
I could take that statement as a threat, but instead my heart leaps with a flicker of hopeful recognition.
She’s warning me. She’s afraid of what would happen to me.
For her own benefit too, Bastien would say, but the knowledge gives me enough confidence to switch the cards I’m playing.
I meet her gaze unwaveringly. “If you don’t come with me, I’m going to have to confess to an executable crime right here where the emperor might hear me. Because I’m going to tell you one way or another. It’s up to you how.”
Aurelia’s expression ticks with a brief widening of her eyes. For just an instant, I’m not sure the gambit will be enough.
Then she pushes aside the covers and eases off the bed.
Relief rushes through me, sharp and poignant, at the proof that she cares more about protecting me than whatever fears she has for her own safety. If the others could see this, they’d have to know that she’s never faked her feelings for us.
As Aurelia darts around the bedside table to the passage, the filmy fabric of her robe sways with her movements. My relief crumples under a wave of desire.
By all that’s holy, she’s coming to me practically naked. The scrap of a garment barely covers her upper thighs; it’s so thin I can make out every detail of her perfect breasts.
Wrenching my gaze back to her face, I step back to make room. She was barely willing to speak to me—I’d better discard any lewder thoughts before they take hold.
Even if my dick has already risen to attention.
Aurelia slips into the narrow alcove where the passage ends. The moment she’s inside, I press the control to close the panel so our voices will be more muffled.
Then we’re alone. The old enchantment that illuminates the passages casts its glow over us, faint as moonlight.
I keep my gaze fixed on Aurelia’s face in the dimness. All the same, every particle of my body tingles with the awareness of her body: the ebb and flow of her breath, the silky rustle of her flimsy robe. Her coolly sweet scent fills my lungs.
I still have to speak quietly, but it’s easier with the snores muffled. Since I don’t know how much time we’ll have, I get straight to the point. “I’m sorry. Bastien and Lorenzo are being idiots. I understand why you had to stay. I have no idea how you managed to pull it off, but that just makes the whole thing more incredible. To have toppled Tarquin in front of the whole court?—”
Aurelia breaks in, her voice rough but steady. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Tarquin was ill. I had nothing to do with it.”
Of course she doesn’t feel she can admit her own crime. My fingers curl toward my palm against the urge to touch her cheek, to draw her closer, as if my embrace would make it easier to convince her.
Instead, I give her the confession I promised. “Shepherdess, you don’t have to pretend with me. Don’t you see—you pulled off what we always meant to. You put us to gods-damned shame, getting the job we’d given up on done in a matter of weeks. I’m not accusing you of anything. I’m in awe. If the others don’t want to believe it, it’s at least as much because of how much we failed as anything to do with you.”
Aurelia’s pause hangs in the air, her expression carefully blank. “What—what are you saying?”
Even with her, I have to gather myself before I lay it all out. Before I say the things I’ve never spoken about so baldly with anyone, even my co-conspirators.
“You know how we all felt about Tarquin and everything he stands for. When we were kids, after we’d been through a couple years of his treatment, we started plotting. How we could strike him down without getting caught and seeing our kingdoms razed in punishment. We picked the most powerful gifts we thought we could get away with concealing behind different ones—we came up with the best combination to work together and destroy him. When we were alone, it was almost all we talked about.”
When Aurelia speaks again, I think her voice has softened. “But—Bastien told me Pavel lashed out without warning?—”
I swallow down the surge of guilt that comes with the memory. “He did. We were supposed to wait until we’d all gotten a good handle on our new powers and then come up with a plan that’d look like an accident. But by the time Lorenzo had his dedication sacrifice, Pavel had already been waiting two and a half years. I’d been grappling with my gift for months and was still shaky with it…”
My shoulders slump with the weight of that admission. “Maybe if I’d gotten a grip on my power faster, Pavel would have felt more confident that we’d manage a coordinated effort. Maybe he wouldn’t have snapped. But he must have gotten impatient, and he thought he saw an opening—I don’t know how he figured he’d explain the death if he succeeded—but he didn’t. You know the rest.”
“That was ten years ago,” Aurelia says in a tone I can’t read.
“Yes. We saw how well protected Tarquin was, how quickly his guards could detect any magic, and no amount of talking got us any closer to figuring out how to murder him without us and our countries going down with him, if we even managed to hurt him in the first place. So we… gave up. We’ve been stewing in that frustration, being utterly useless, all this time, and then—” I grimace. “Great God smite me, we tried to run away . We tried to convince you to come with us, when you were prepared to do exactly what we always wanted.”
I step toward her, unable to stop my hand from rising to graze her soft hair. “That would have been the biggest mistake we’d ever made. But you knew better. I can’t imagine how much pressure you were under, the danger you knew you were putting yourself in, but you didn’t take the easy way out like we would have. So I can’t ask for anything except your forgiveness, that we fucked up so badly without even realizing it—that we didn’t see just how incredible you actually are.”
Aurelia’s gaze drops, a flicker of pain crossing her face that snags in my heart with a sharp pang. “You’ve all seemed so angry with me.”
I bow my head toward her, close enough that her warmth emanates over me. “We were at first, when we didn’t understand why—and the others are finding it hard to believe that you could have arranged what happened. Lorenzo always takes things hard, and Bastien… He came up with the whole escape plan on his own, you know. I think his ego is wounded that you rejected it. But he cares about you that much. He has to come around. ”
Her gaze jerks back to mine. “ He wanted to… I never would have thought—he’s always been so cautious?—”
I have to smile at the wonder in her voice. Bastien’s had quite an effect on her too, and I can’t feel jealous of that. “You’ve inspired a lot of surprising things in all of us, Shepherdess. I’ll keep working on them. I just needed you to know that you still have me, whatever you need, however I can help with every amazing thing you do next. Hopefully you’ll have all of us again before long.”
Her fingers brush my chest as they clutch at the front of my shirt. “Raul.”
There’s so much need in the way she says my name that I can’t rein in my own hunger any longer. I trace the line of her jaw to tip her chin up toward me and capture her mouth with mine.
The kiss is everything I’ve missed about her, fire and tenderness mingled together. When she leans into me to deepen the embrace, my groin aches.
No small part of my awe of this woman is for the urges she can stir inside me. The cleric who oversaw my sacrifice left enough flesh to avoid totally stunting my physical development, even if I’m completely impotent when it comes to fathering children. Still, it’s always taken a certain amount of will and concentrated focus to perform for the ladies I’ve seduced from their husbands.
I’m not sure how much I could say I was getting off on them rather than the idea of carrying out some minor vengeance.
But Aurelia has never wanted a performance from me, only what I can honestly give. Whether it’s because of that or the endless challenge she presents or her formidable strength, or some combination of all that’s wonderful about her, her touch floods me with more genuine desire than any other woman has come close to .
As I trail my hand down her side, following the curve of her breast and waist, the thought of the other man sprawled in her bed sparks a different sort of heat. I can’t keep the growl out of my voice. “Has that prick of a husband even tried to satisfy you?”
Aurelia’s breath tickles over my neck with her answer. “I didn’t really give him the chance. I— There are ways to ‘cure’ a man of the idea that we haven’t coupled yet without needing to go through the entire act.”
Her admission sends a thrill through my veins. I muffle my laugh against her cheek. “You concocted one of your clever potions, did you, my brilliant empress? Such a worthy cause. No wonder he’s knocked right out.”
She sounds almost abashed. “I didn’t think I could manage to pretend?—”
“You shouldn’t need to.” I nudge her back against the wall and claim another kiss. My tongue twines with hers until a whimper works from her throat—and a bolt of inspiration strikes me. “How long will he be out for?”
“At least another hour.”
Not as long as this woman deserves, but more than enough to make a decent start on my full apology.
I sink down before her, pressing kisses down her sternum and her belly between my words. “I promised I’d worship you. I owe you nothing less than being down on my knees, venerating you like the goddess you are.”
When my lips brush the spot just above her sex, Aurelia’s breath catches. She tenses just for a second, but before I can worry that she’ll push me away, she runs her fingers into my hair to grip the strands as if settling in for the ride.
And I intend to give her an ecstatic one.
Sweeping the flaps of her robe aside, I plant my mouth right on the slickest, sweetest part of her.
Aurelia clutches at my hair, her other hand stifling a gasp. I suck on her clit and lap my tongue from it down to the dampened folds of her cunt.
Her hips rock toward me, more of her juices seeping out to flood my mouth. With a groan I can’t suppress, I delve deep between her thighs.
I’ll give her every shred of pleasure Marclinus wouldn’t even bother to consider. I’ll leave her with a delicious memory to ward off at least a little of the horrors of her marriage—one I intend to follow with many more, every chance I get.
I don’t know what else I’ll be able to do for my empress, but this is one service where I’m completely sure of my skills.
It’s a shame I can’t bring my gift into play tonight, but I’ve gotten plenty of ladies moaning without it throughout my career as the imperial court’s most notorious rake.
That reputation is dead now. No minor revenge or fleeting sense of power could compare to dedicating myself to the woman in front of me now.
I return the attentions of my mouth to Aurelia’s clit, teasing the edges of my teeth over it while tracing the lips of her pussy with my fingers. As I stroke one up into her hot channel, her body shivers around a moan.
That’s right. Let me erase every bit of awfulness she experienced in that bed while she worked her own subtle craft. Let me replace every kiss, every touch she would have recoiled from if she could.
I add a second finger, working them higher until I find that perfect pliant spot inside that makes her hips buck faster. Her fingernails scrape over my scalp, tugging strands free from my ponytail, but I only suckle her harder. The pricks of pain flare into deeper pleasure.
Aurelia pants for breath, swaying against my mouth, and then clenches up. The force of her climax radiates into me with the spasming of her cunt and her arousal drenching my hand.
I give her sex one more lingering kiss and then grin up at her through the darkness, meaning to make some approving remark. Before I’ve hit on the right one, she tugs me toward her.
One hand wrenches my face to hers, our lips melding together in a collision of passion. The other yanks at the waist of my trousers.
My pulse hiccups. I wasn’t going to ask for this, but I’m sure as shit not going to deny her, not when my erection is throbbing against my drawers.
As our mouths crash into each other again and again, I help her free me from my clothes. She raises one knee against my thigh to urge me on, and I lift her other leg as I line myself up.
I have no doubt about whether she’s ready for me, regardless of my size. She’s so wet I slide straight into her.
The clamp of her channel around my cock brings me to the verge of release in an instant. I close my eyes and tuck my head against the crook of her shoulder, fighting for control.
“This is how it should always be,” I murmur raggedly. “You should never settle for anything less than this, Empress.”
With an urgent noise, she tilts her hips toward me. There’s nothing I can do but meet her plea, slamming deeper home.
It doesn’t matter that I’m already on the edge. She clings to my shoulders and quivers in my embrace, teetering on the verge of her second orgasm already.
I thrust into her hard and fast, every bit of bliss enhanced by the knowledge that I’m bringing her to these heights while her asshole of a husband dozes completely unaware on the other side of the wall .
Marclinus might all but own my life, but he doesn’t own her.
Right now, she’s only mine.
Aurelia comes with a quake of her body and a nip of my neck that electrifies me. It only takes a couple more thrusts before I’m spilling myself inside her with a groan I can’t contain.
I hold her there against the wall, my head tipped next to hers, my arms fitting her tight against my broad frame. She rests her forehead against my shoulder.
Then a sigh slips out of her that sounds unnervingly close to a sob.
I jerk back with a wobble of my nerves, cupping her face. A trail of dampness streaks down her cheek.
She’s crying. Gods smite me. This is the opposite of the response I meant to provoke.
“Aurelia?” I ask, my voice barely a croak. My thumb wipes another tear away.
She pulls me back to her, looping her arms behind my neck. “I’m not upset. Just overwhelmed, in a good way. You know everything … and you’re still here. You still want me.”
A startled guffaw tumbles out of me. “I want you more because of everything you are. Everything you’ve proven you’re capable of.”
“I wanted to go with you all, you know. During that last trial. It sounded like the best of dreams. But there’s so much else?—"
“I know,” I say before she has to justify the only decision I can imagine this woman making. “You had bigger dreams. You made the dream we once had a reality. Nothing could be better than that.”
There’s so much else I want to say to her, my throat aches with the words. All my practice is with passion and seduction, not gentler emotions .
I don’t want to screw up this reconciliation.
I let her lower her feet to the ground and sling my arms around her waist. “You’re not in this alone. Anything you need that I can offer, all you have to do is get word to me. And Bastien and Lorenzo too, once they get their heads on straight.”
“Thank you.” She trails her fingers down the side of my face. “You know… I don’t think we can do this again. I probably shouldn’t have let it happen at all. If I’m going to bring about that dream of a better empire, I need to stay totally focused on Marclinus, earning whatever trust and good will I can… It’ll be that much harder the more I’m looking forward to illicit meetings with other men.”
She sounds a bit choked up again. As much as I hate the thought of this being the last time I have this kind of intimacy with her, I can’t say I don’t understand. I have to be grateful I got this one moment at all.
Who knows what the future might bring?
I nuzzle her temple. “All right. After tonight, I’ll stick to worshipping you at a distance. But don’t you ever forget that you can count on me, no matter what mess you end up tangled in.”