Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
Aurelia
I keep accepting dances long after I notice one of my princes and then another duck out of the ballroom. There’s no point in dragging Marclinus off to bed in the early hours of the night when I’ll just have to wait next to his unconscious form before I can see the men I actually want to embrace.
And the more distance I can put between my departure and theirs, the better, in case Bianca is still speculating about my possible interest in Lorenzo.
I have to take this opportunity. It’s only been a couple of nights since our last interlude, but we head back to the capital tomorrow. I can’t imagine how we’d find an opportunity to meet up at any of the waystations along the road southeast.
Marclinus turns me in his arms with one of his small sharp smirks. It’s hard to tell if he’s looking forward to returning to his most consistent home or worried about being so far from the empire’s most urgent conflict again. Tribune Valerisse hasn’t returned since the day I met her, but I’ve noticed at least a few hasty messengers arriving on horseback.
Perhaps it’s a little of both, the happier emotions and the more fraught tempering each other in turn. He’s had plenty of smiles and chuckles for all the ladies he’s danced with and the noblemen he’s talked to in between, but not the unnervingly frenetic energy that comes over him sometimes.
This may be the first ball I’ve attended with him where he hasn’t groped my breasts or my ass once. His caresses have been limited to my waist, my shoulder, and the occasional squeeze of my hand.
I’d be relieved not to have our intimate connection on full display, except I’m not sure if it means he’s simply not in the mood tonight. Maybe I should have found a way to slip a little of the fertility potion into his wine to ensure he’d be eager for a tumble.
If this month’s attempts are successful, it probably doesn’t matter if the date of conception doesn’t line up perfectly with a night Marclinus thinks he bedded me. I’d rather not leave even the slightest chance for doubt, though.
So much depends on everyone’s certainty that the child I’ll bear is his.
With a shift in the music, we part ways to entertain other dancing partners. But as soon as I step back from the baron who claims my attention for one song, I find myself facing my husband again.
He offers his hand with a brilliant grin that only emphasizes how ridiculously, unfairly stunning his face is. “My turn again.”
I step into his arms without hesitation. Beyond the palace walls, the bell for the eleventh hour rings. Impatience gnaws at me.
I don’t think I can wait any longer. Half of the court nobles have already drifted off to their bedrooms by now. It’ll hardly seem hasty.
As I decide on my approach, Marclinus adjusts his grip on my fingers and strokes his thumb up and down my side. “It’s been gratifying getting to spend so much time with you this past week, wife. I hope you’ve had no reason for complaint.”
Is he fishing for criticism? I don’t even know what he means when I don’t think we’ve been together here more than we have anywhere. We spent a week trapped in a carriage with each other before we arrived.
My only new complaint would be that he hasn’t seen fit to let me in on the current situation in Lavira since our last conversation about politics and advising. I’m hardly going to mention that when I promised to leave my involvement at his discretion.
I smile back at him as winningly as I can. “None at all. As much as I enjoy the capital, Rexoran is a lovely place as well.”
Conveniently, he’s given me all the opening I need. As he spins me around with a swell of the melody, I tuck myself closer against him and let my expression turn coy. “I’d very much like to spend a little more time with you before we leave, just the two of us. Would you like to continue our dance in my chambers?”
Marclinus hums and stops our current dance to lean in to kiss me. The feel of his lips leaves me cold, but I can’t help noticing that he’s taking the same gentler approach he did a couple of nights ago rather than shoving his tongue down my throat.
Now that he’s put me in my place, is this new, less aggressive version of passion supposed to make up for all his other violence?
I don’t need to say anything else. At the end of the song, Marclinus twines his fingers with mine and leads me out of the ballroom. I match his smooth strides through the hallways, glad that I held off on imbibing the fertility potion tonight.
I’d rather not have to deal with any unwelcome desire inside me when I’m with a man who’s done so little to earn it.
As we push past my bedroom door, the little ball of black-and-brown-striped fur I adopted yesterday bounds over to meet us with a mew of greeting. I bend down to give the tabby kitten a quick scratch along her jaw.
Marclinus considers the animal with bemusement. “You didn’t have enough company already?”
“A pet is a different sort of company.” I lift my arms to loop them around his neck, letting my ring graze the skin at the nape. I want my drug taking hold of his mind as quickly as possible tonight. “But not the sort of company I’m looking for when my husband is here with me.”
His grin comes back. He walks me over to the bed, tugging up the skirt of my dress as he does, massaging my bare thigh beneath it. “I’ll see that my wife is left wanting for nothing, then.”
He busies himself with more kisses, working from my mouth down my neck to my chest. Before he’s even bared my breasts, his eyes glaze over with the hallucinatory haze.
We’ve gone through these motions so often that I barely need to think about it now. Put on a bit of a show to direct his delusions, clean him up afterward, and tuck him into bed, tonight with a dose of sedative.
When I walk across the room to my trunks, the kitten trundles along beside me. I sink down on the floor and let her hop onto my lap.
“You’ll help me with him too,” I tell her in a hushed voice. “We’ll see what we can brew together.”
If I’m going to be inciting some wild animal against him, I’ll need a test subject for my potions. I can hardly go experimenting on anyone else’s pets without raising questions.
We’ll start small. I don’t want to hurt this sweet creature.
I let her snuggle in my lap for several minutes, contemplating different names I could give her, and then scoop her up to set her on the rumpled blanket she’s claimed as her bed.
The fertility potion goes down easier the second time, in part because I’m taking a smaller dose. I didn’t like how much it affected my self-control last time.
If I need to make another batch next month, I’ll have to focus my gift away from the aphrodisiac implications of my purpose.
At the bell for the twelfth hour, I give the kitten one last pat, cast a glance toward Marclinus to confirm he’s slumbering as deeply as I expected, and head out into the garden.
I pad along the path through the cooling air, even more cautious than last time. Every sound that reaches my ears makes my heartbeat stutter. But I catch no sign that anyone beyond a few birds has ventured into the private inner garden.
I ease close to the dividing wall, knowing Raul won’t want to extend his shadowy powers very far into the imperial area. I warned the princes that the guards might wander the gardens away from their employer sometimes.
No reassuring voice carries into my head, but a purposeful gust of breeze whisks around my torso. That’s my cue to prepare for the larger force.
I brace myself with a giddy hitch of my pulse. The air rushes up beneath me like it did the other night, propelling me up above the wall as if I’m flying.
I glide down on the other side even more gracefully than before. Bastien lowers his arms with my descent and then steps forward to wrap those arms around me.
He’s standing in the small clearing by the wall alone. As I hug him back, an anxious pang resonates through my nerves. “Is everything all right?”
“Yes,” he says hastily. “As much as it ever is. Lorenzo and Raul are fine.”
He pauses, drawing back a few inches. In the dimness, a blush darkens his pale cheeks. “You’ve stolen moments with both of them when it was just the two of you. You and I have never really had that. Maybe it’s selfish of me, but I wanted this time to be just us. They’re keeping watch farther off in the garden, making sure no one stumbles on this spot.”
A different sort of pang echoes through my chest at the uncertainty in his tone. Some part of him is still afraid he isn’t enough for me. That what we share isn’t just as treasured as the love I’ve found with his foster brothers.
I cup his cheek, beaming up at him. “I don’t think it’s selfish at all. I only wish I could have all the time in the world to spend with each of you, on our own and all together, without having to worry.”
Bastien dips his head closer to mine again, his breath grazing the side of my face with its heat. “If we can see through everything we mean to, then someday… I used to imagine after the empire fell, I’d travel around the continent in honor of my godlen, spreading the truth about the horrors Dariu dealt out and sharing stories from the countries who’ve been under their thumb for so long. To be that free… ”
When he trails off, I tip my face to nuzzle his jaw. “You used to? Not anymore?”
I hear his swallow. “After Pavel died and we couldn’t see any way to topple the empire ourselves, it seemed like an impossible dream. I thought the best I could hope for was to get the rest of us through our fostering in one piece. But now, with you—you’ve brought the dream back to life. It’s far off, but I can hope again, like I haven’t in so long. Except that if it happens, I want you by my side. My signal star.”
A lump of emotion fills my throat. I pull Bastien back into a tighter embrace, a prickle of tears forming behind my closed eyelids.
I can’t quite smooth the roughness from my lowered voice. “When I found out I was coming to Dariu, I assumed the best I could hope for out of my life was the satisfaction of knowing I’d served my people as well as I could. And maybe for my marriage to have a few pleasant moments along with everything I had to tolerate.”
Bastien’s arms tense around me. “Not much chance of that with Marclinus.”
“No. But even though the actual marriage has been so much worse than I expected… I’m still happier than I ever dared to imagine. Because I have you. My heart is yours.”
Bastien inhales shakily, and then he’s kissing me like the world depends on the melding of his lips. As I kiss him back, heat kindles between my legs with the now-familiar ache of need. The potion is still doing its work, lesser dose or no.
As much as I want to revel in this moment, we shouldn’t dally longer than we need to. I’d like all of us to come out of our time under imperial rule alive.
I kiss Bastien again, unable to stop my hips from rocking against his before forcing myself to pull back. “Should we go to your room?”
His smile glints in the darkness. “You looked as if you liked the idea of staying here in the gardens before. My wild empress out in the wild? Between illusions and shadows, Lorenzo and Raul can make sure no one sees or hears us even if someone ventures out.”
A thrill crackles through my veins at the thought of being taken by this man out here in the open. I don’t answer other than to yank his mouth back to mine.
Through our deepening kisses, Bastien walks me backward and nudges me up against the cool stone of the wall. When I press against him again, he catches my leg and hefts me upward so his groin is flush against my sex.
At the feel of his taut erection through our clothes, I can’t hold back a whimper. Bastien drinks it down, swaying against me with measured strokes that stoke the flames of my desire higher that much faster.
My breath fragments between our kisses. As I clutch at his hair, Bastien groans.
He nips the crook of my jaw and yanks at the lacing on my dress to loosen the bodice. “I don’t know how long I can wait before I’m inside you.”
A giggle tumbles over my lips. “Why wait? I need you.”
With a choked sound, Bastien lowers my feet back to the ground. His commanding tone comes out, dark and firm. “Turn around and lean over. Brace your hands on the wall.”
I follow his instructions, a heady shiver coursing under my skin. The hard stone rasps against my palms.
Bastien tugs my skirt up to my waist in a heap of silky fabric. As one hand trails along my side, the other teases over the hem of my drawers just below my ass.
“Someday I’ll take you here too.” He dips his hand lower to graze his fingertips over the already damp fabric between my thighs. “But tonight, this is all mine. Isn’t that right, Aurelia?”
He increases the pressure to set off a shock of pleasure. I gasp. There’s something so thrilling about giving myself over to his domineering side, letting him call the shots instead of having to stay in control.
I lean back toward him. “I’m all yours. Take me however you like.”
Bastien works his fingers over my clit and the opening beneath, stoking the flames of need even higher. Before long, my drawers are absolutely drenched.
When he retracts his hand, letting the waves of bliss subside, I moan in protest.
“I’m not leaving you wanting for long.” He yanks my drawers down to my ankles so I can step out of them. “Spread your legs wider for me, Star.”
With a tremor of anticipation, I oblige. The cool night air washes over my heated sex in shocking contrast.
There’s a rustle as Bastien frees himself from his trousers. The head of his cock rubs against my folds.
I bite my lip against another moan. “Please.”
Bastien’s voice has gone ragged. “I’m going to give you everything you need.”
He plunges into me in one swift stroke that leaves us both groaning. I push higher on the balls of my feet, offering the best angle I can.
Bastien bows over me, one hand grasping my hip, the other sliding over my ribs beneath my loosened dress. He steadies me as he plows into my sex again and again, each thrust of his cock filling me deeper.
All I can do is pant and sway with the impact and the surges of delight sweeping through my body.
Somehow, Bastien still has the capacity to speak, though it’s in a raw murmur. “You know why I love this position, Empress?”
He slams into me with even more force, and all I can answer with is a desperate mewling .
Bastien groans in return and leans even closer to my bent frame. The hand on my hip slides around to finger my clit. “When I fuck you like this, I can hit so much deeper. And at the same time, it’s so easy to play with you. Here.” He swivels his finger over that tender spot just above where we’re joined, provoking a hotter spike of pleasure. “And here.”
His other hand glides farther up to tease over my breast beneath my clothes. The flick of his thumb over my nipple makes me jerk against him.
I don’t know what woman he discovered this delightful technique with, but I can’t be anything but grateful that he’s ready to offer it up to me. With every drive of his cock, his hands pulse against my clit and fondle my breast.
My whole body is on fire with sensation. I cry out, grinding back into him as if I can drive him even deeper.
He pinches my clit, and the whirl of pleasure explodes through me in a blaze of ecstasy.
My fingernails scrape against the stones of the wall. My limbs quiver with the giddy rush.
Through it all, Bastien keeps pounding into me. His touch on my clit lightens until I’ve caught my breath, and then he swivels a fingertip over it in just the right way.
I’m wrung out, but another surge of pleasure is already building. I whimper and press into him as well as I can, chasing the second release he’s promising.
As my sex starts to clench around Bastien again, he makes a strangled noise and jerks backward. I don’t have time to protest before he’s spun me around and pinned my back against the wall, his cock driving home again as our chests align.
Heedless of the rasp that’s crept into his breath, his mouth collides with mine. He bucks into me even faster, and another flood of bliss sweeps through my nerves.
I cling to him, giving myself over to my climax. As I careen over the edge, Bastien pants a curse onto my hair and tumbles with me.
He nestles his head next to mine, our breaths shuddering as we drift into the afterglow together. Just for that moment, I really am only his.
If only I didn’t have to walk away yet again.