Chapter 8 #2
Finally, a smile appeared on Mr Darcy’s face. “Yes, I would imagine that. They were too protective towards my sister, which I fear did not help her much. But surely Mrs Reynolds did not invent that you saved her life.”
“Oh, it was really nothing. I arrived at Pemberley to play with her as usual, and she was riding her pony by the edge of the lake. Somehow, the horse was spooked and threw her from the saddle. She rolled into the water, so I jumped in to help her out. There were many others there, and it was not me who pulled her from the water. Some men grabbed us both. That was all.”
“But you were the first to jump into the water after her,” Mr Darcy said, his expression solemn and grave. “I believe you did save her life — or at least attempt to, which was equally remarkable and brave for a girl of your age.”
Elizabeth felt her cheeks burning at his too-serious praise, so she attempted to joke.
“Well, I have to say there was a great benefit to my jump, since Lady Anne insisted that I should stay at Pemberley for several days. I had my own room, my own maid, and I was probably more spoilt than I have ever been before or since. And even better, I had the chance to play with your sister all day long and to speak to Lady Anne a few times.”
“I am sure my mother came to love you, and with good reason. Otherwise, she would not have given you that necklace.”
“I know… Even as I child, I refused to take it, knowing it was very expensive.”
“It is not just its price, Miss Bennet. She was given that necklace that you now have, and she ordered one similar for Georgiana, so they might both have the same.”
“Yes, she told me as much,” Elizabeth replied, looking at his expression, which remained grave, and her voice changed, while a pain grasped her heart.
“I asked her to keep the necklace until I was older and give it to me then. But she insisted I must take it… Sadly, she died shortly afterwards… What a tragedy! I know she was loved and cherished by so many.”
“She was… We knew she was unwell. She had been ill for years, and my father had tried everything possible to take care of her. But nothing helped.”
“Your father was an excellent man too. I remember people saying he was the best master and the best landlord. How painful it must have been for you and Miss Darcy to lose him too so soon.”
“He was an excellent man, indeed. After my mother died, he never truly recovered. I believe he not only missed her but also felt guilty for not being able to help her more. I am not sure. He barely spoke to me of his feelings, especially since I was at school most of the time. He insisted I should educate myself in order to take over his responsibilities. I did not imagine it would happen so soon.”
His voice was now heavy with sorrow, and even his shoulders seemed burdened by the weight of his feelings.
“And your sister? Has she been alone all these years?” Elizabeth asked.
“Sadly, yes. Not truly alone — she has always had people around to take care of her. All my relatives love her. She had the best teachers and possesses a great desire for improvement. She has grown up to be an accomplished and remarkable young lady. But…”
“But…?”
“She was the youngest in our family, and her nature is rather shy. She had no friends and still does not. As for me, I have been more of a father than a brother to her. She is always worried about upsetting or disappointing me, which has never happened, and I am sure it never will. But I feel something keeps her from being more open with me — from letting me know what troubles her or how I could help her…”
The conversation had flowed more easily than Elizabeth had expected, and the honesty of their confessions could be easily sensed.
She looked at Mr Darcy, seeing him in an utterly different light.
Not the man she had previously known — self-confident, proud, even arrogant — but Lady Anne’s son and Georgiana’s brother, overwhelmed by sadness and worry, opening his heart to her.
“I am very sorry to hear that…I am sure Miss Darcy loves you. Even as a young child, she spoke with so much affection and pride about you. As did your parents.”
“Thank you, Miss Bennet. Indeed, I do not doubt her affection for me but my ability to provide her with the comfort she needs and to guide her into growing more confident, trusting herself more, and seeing her own worth.”
“She is still very young, Mr Darcy. She is the same age as my sister Lydia, who I dare say is too confident, in an imprudent way. Both of them need to grow. One in wisdom, patience, and education, and the other in confidence and inner strength. One must be tempered and guarded. The other probably needs a little guidance and encouragement.”
“You seem to see things more clearly than I do, Miss Bennet. You possess both wisdom and inner strength.”
Elizabeth felt his stare upon her, so she turned her head, meeting his dark eyes. She shivered from the same strange feeling that had troubled her previously in his presence.
“I am not sure you are right, sir. My sister Jane is the possessor of the beauty, sweetness, wisdom, and kindness in our family, though she is quieter and more restrained. I feel fortunate to have her as my eldest sister. The rest of us try to learn from her.”
“I am sure no one who had the privilege of knowing you would find anything wanting in you, Miss Bennet. I dare say you are simply being too modest, as your cousin claims.”
She stopped, surprised by his compliment and his attempt to improve their dispositions, which had been brought low by sadness. A little smile had returned to twist the corner of his lips.
“Mr Darcy, if you wish to be friends, you must promise to mention Mr Collins as rarely as possible and to admit that his claims about me can never be right.”
“I promise, Miss Bennet. I wish to be friends if you will grant me the privilege. And I would not dare to contradict you. I have seen the daggers in your eyes when you are angry.”
She laughed. It was a little forced but with pleasure and nervousness.
“Yes, I know I have daggers in my eyes, which is a major flaw of my character, as my mother has told me many times. However, I shall never forget when Lady Anne told me I had sparkling eyes. I did not even know what it meant, but her voice was so soft and gentle that I knew it must be something good.”
They had resumed walking, but Mr Darcy stopped, and Elizabeth had to do the same. She faced his gaze again, and he declared with earnestness, “I heartily agree with my mother, Miss Bennet. I am sorry to disagree with your mother, but it is certainly not a flaw.”
Elizabeth was uncertain how to take his words and how to handle the sensation his gaze provoked. She felt suddenly hot, and she loosened the scarf around her neck. Astonished, she felt his gloved hand grasping her arm.
“Are you wearing the necklace, Miss Bennet?”
She shivered again, feeling her cheeks burning.
“I am… I have never worn it in public before. Lady Anne said the colour of the stones would suit my temper, but I have always considered it too valuable to wear,” she answered, surprised to hear her own voice trembling.
In disbelief, she watched him lift his hand towards her neck as if he intended to touch it, and she held her breath. However, he stopped only inches from her skin and lowered his hand.
“Again, I heartily agree with my mother. It does suit you very well, Miss Bennet.”
A slightly awkward silence fell as they resumed walking. When Longbourn appeared in sight a few minutes later, Elizabeth spoke again.
“Sir, will you join us for breakfast?”
“Oh no, I cannot. I am expected at Netherfield.”
“I understand. You should return, then. I shall be home shortly.”
“Very well. Miss Bennet, I cannot express my gratitude for this meeting and for our conversation. It meant more to me than I can say. I apologise if I burdened you with my distress.”
“Please do not apologise. I am equally grateful for this encounter. I was wondering… Would you mind if I wrote to Miss Darcy? Perhaps I could cheer her a little should she be in need of some diversion?” Elizabeth asked, being certain of his agreement.
“No, please do not!” he replied hastily. She took a step back in shock, and he grasped her arm again.
“Forgive my rudeness, Miss Bennet… What I mean is that I would rather write to Georgiana first. I have not mentioned anything about you to her yet, and I would like to prepare her before she receives a letter from you.”
“Yes, of course, you are right. I did not consider it properly. She might not even remember me or not want to hear from me at all.”
“I doubt that very much. From everything I have been told so far, I am sure your friendship would have greatly benefited my sister over the years. I hope it is not too late…”
“Too late? What do you mean, sir?” Elizabeth asked with concern.
“Nothing in particular… I shall write to her this very morning.”
“Does this mean you will not return to London as yet?”
“I shall, Miss Bennet, probably this week. But in the meantime, I shall write to her by express, and I might have her reply by tomorrow.”
“Please let me know what her response is, even if she does not want to hear from me.”
“I shall, I promise.”
With that, he bowed, then jumped into the saddle, and Elizabeth took another step back from the horse.
“Thank you, Miss Bennet,” he repeated, and she stood still, gazing after him until he rounded a bend in the path and disappeared from her view.
Walking towards Longbourn alone, Elizabeth started to feel — truly feel — the weight of her conversation with Mr Darcy and the confession he had made to her.
Her heart was heavy with worry about Georgiana’s answer and — to her surprise — even more so at the thought of Mr Darcy leaving and them not meeting again.