Chapter 16
Darcy bore the relatively short journey from Hertfordshire to London with difficulty.
Accustomed to travelling frequently, over long distances, the journey gave him a strange discomfort.
He had informed Georgiana of his return, but he was still concerned about her reception.
It was as though his presence tormented her, and she tried to avoid being near him, which he struggled to understand.
After a brief reflection, he had to admit that the weight that burdened his chest was not only caused by the upcoming meeting with his sister but also by his departure from Elizabeth.
The more he thought of it, the more he was forced to accept that Elizabeth Bennet and her sparkling eyes had stirred some deep, strong, and disquieting feelings inside him — ones he had not felt for anyone else.
That realisation was worrisome for many reasons.
First, as enchanting and worthy of admiration as she was, he had never contemplated marriage to a woman with a situation in life so much below his own.
To him, she seemed to possess everything he had ever wanted in a woman, and her image was vivid in his mind every moment of the day and night.
However, it was not entirely his choice but also a matter of his responsibility to his family that would directly influence Georgiana’s position in society too.
As much as he enjoyed Mr Bennet’s company, the gentleman was far from Darcy’s usual circle, as Lady Catherine would say.
He needed to think carefully and examine everything with a clear mind to be certain of his wishes and the actions that would follow.
Then, if his reason reached the same conclusion as his feelings, he had to discover Elizabeth’s feelings and desires in regard to him.
And only then, if they were in accord, would he decide on the best course of action, in order to expose Elizabeth, Georgiana, and their families to as little turmoil as possible.
But he would allow himself no actions — not even thoughts or dreams — that might be considered improper for as long as Elizabeth was under his protection, perhaps even in his house, for the purpose of supporting Georgiana.
He had begged Elizabeth and Mr Bennet to agree to his plan, and he had promised to them and to himself to provide her with all the comfort, care, and protection she deserved.
He could examine his feelings and contemplate actions, but nothing would happen whilst she was under his protection.
When the carriage stopped in front of the house, he stepped down, eager yet anxious. Mrs Penfield, the housekeeper, greeted him and welcomed him inside but managed to add little else before he left her presence in search of his sister.
With his coat and hat on still, he moved towards the drawing-room, where Georgiana could usually be found at that hour, when suddenly she appeared in the hall with Mrs Annesley behind her.
“Brother, you are home,” she said in a small voice, and Darcy needed a moment to soothe the claw in his chest so he could reply while wondering at how pale and thin she looked after only one month.
The dark circles around her blue eyes revealed her tiredness and lack of sleep.
“I am home and very happy to see you, dearest,” he finally said, embracing her gently, barely feeling her small body in his arms.
“Mrs Penfield, what time will dinner be ready?” Darcy asked as he walked along the hall with his sister holding his arm. “We shall eat together in the dining room. Mrs Annesley, please join us. Richard might come too. He knows I shall be home tonight.”
“Of course, Mr Darcy. Dinner will be served whenever you are ready.”
“Thank you. I only need a little time to change.”
“I shall be in the music room until you return, Brother,” Georgiana said, and Darcy nodded, then exchanged a glance with Mrs Annesley.
“She looks very ill,” Darcy whispered as soon as the girl left. “I should have returned sooner.”
“She barely eats at all, sir. And I believe she sleeps very ill too.”
“We should fetch the doctor. I shall send for him.”
“Mr Darcy, the doctor has seen Miss Darcy several times and found no signs of visible illness. Besides, his presence upsets her further.”
“What do you suggest instead, Mrs Annesley? To do nothing and let my sister take a turn for the worse?”
“I have no suggestions, Mr Darcy. I am only telling you what I know,” the woman said humbly. “I am here to help Miss Darcy to the best of my abilities.”
“Of course… Forgive me, Mrs Annesley. I did not mean to imply otherwise. I thank you for your loyalty to my sister. I shall take care of everything from now on. Besides, I have reason to believe that soon Georgiana will have reason to improve her disposition.”
“Oh, I am glad, sir.”
“As am I. An old friend will come to visit her, and I am confident it will be useful to her. We shall discuss it more after I confirm all the details with Georgiana.”
“What details, Brother?” the girl enquired, startling him. “Forgive me for interrupting you. I changed my mind about practising.”
“I am glad you did. I have something to tell you,” Darcy said with a gentle smile, while Mrs Annesley left to allow them privacy.
“You have not changed your clothes yet, Brother.”
“Not yet, but I shall do so immediately. I have one small but excellent piece of news.”
“Do you? How lovely! I also wished to ask you about Miss Elizabeth Bennet, but we can discuss that later.”
“The excellent news is in regard to Miss Elizabeth Bennet, dearest. She is to come to London with her father in a few days, and she has expressed a desire to see you.”
The lady’s eyes brightened instantly, then a shadow fell across them.
“She has?”
“Yes. I hope you are as eager as she is. In truth, I would love to have a friend who had not seen me for a decade yet still cared for me,” Darcy said, putting a smile and some enthusiasm into his voice. However, Georgiana remained thoughtful.
“I am grateful for her interest. I just hope she will not be disappointed in me.”
Darcy took his sister’s hands. “I must confess I told her this worry of yours, and she looked at me like I was a lunatic. She told me there is nothing and nobody that would alter her affection for you. And you see, my dear, I really believe her. Miss Elizabeth is not someone who expresses dishonest opinions.”
“Very well, then. Would you tell me more about her? And when will she arrive? Is she to come here?”
“I shall tell you everything you wish to know during dinner. I hope you do not mind Mrs Annesley and Richard hearing too?”
“Not at all. Brother, are you pleased that Miss Elizabeth will come to visit me?”
Darcy kissed the young girl’s hand. “I am very pleased indeed. Let me go and change my clothes now. There is more that I must tell you, but it can wait until tomorrow morning.”
***
The reunion with Colonel Fitzwilliam was a happy event, as always. Aside from his affection, loyalty, and care for both Darcys, the colonel was a man with amiable manners and an easy nature that made him a favourite among his acquaintances as well as those who had just met him.
He listened to Darcy’s narration about his time in Hertfordshire and asked some questions about the Bennets, especially Elizabeth.
While he answered diligently, Darcy was surprised to feel a warmth growing inside him and a smile that kept twisting his lips.
Even just talking about Elizabeth had a stronger effect on him than most of the other ladies he was acquainted with, and that notion was equally thrilling and frightening.
“Mr Bennet’s cousin is Lady Catherine’s clergyman? That is so amusing!” the colonel said.
“Less amusing than you assume. The man has something to say about Lady Catherine every other minute,” Darcy replied.
The colonel laughed. “Lady Catherine certainly loves that. And, from everything you have said about Miss Elizabeth’s wit and boldness and manners, Lady Catherine would surely despise her.”
“I cannot argue with that,” Darcy admitted.
“I am sure Lady Catherine will not despise Miss Elizabeth!” Georgiana intervened. “Why would she? Miss Elizabeth sounds charming!”
“That is precisely why, my dear.” The colonel laughed again. “I look forward to meeting this person who has made such an impression on you all.”
The evening progressed in a pleasant way, and then Mrs Annesley retired for the night.
Darcy struggled for a little while with the confession he still needed to make to his sister and his cousin, wondering whether he should do it separately or to both, and whether he should delay it in order to not distress Georgiana more or reveal it right away.
“What is troubling you, Darcy? You barely heard what I said,” the colonel asked.
“In fact, there is something that occupies me,” he admitted after another moment of hesitation. “Perhaps I should have waited for a better moment, but I owe you both the consideration of the truth.”
“What is it, Brother?” Georgiana whispered.
“This sounds rather ominous, Darcy. Do I need another brandy?”
“You probably do, Cousin. I discovered that George Wickham has joined the militia,” he said, heartbroken as he saw Georgiana turning pale and clasping her hands together.
“Has he? Well, that is precisely what the militia needs,” the colonel said sarcastically.
“There is more to tell, unfortunately. He has joined precisely the regiment that is encamped in Meryton. Near Bingley and the Bennet family.”
“Now that is a terrible coincidence. The scoundrel seems to stick to you like a disease,” the colonel said, then turned to Georgiana.
“Forgive me, my dear, I do not want to pain you more. I know your father loved him, my own parents thought highly of him, even I was friends with him for a while. He deceived us all. Now I would gladly break every bone in his body—”
“Richard, let us speak calmly and mind our words,” Darcy interrupted him. “It was merely information that I wished to provide you with. It does not affect any of us.”