Chapter 29
To Elizabeth, the time spent in Mr Darcy’s house was a curious blend of sweetness and sorrow, with happiness as well as painful distress.
Her friendship with Georgiana had enhanced her life, and in less than a month, they became bonded by a friendship unlikely to ever be broken.
Her only fear was how that relationship would continue if — when — Mr Darcy finally married.
Since she had accepted her growing attachment to Mr Darcy, there were occasions when she wildly hoped that he might return her feelings, and he might propose to her.
Becoming his wife and Georgiana’s sister was such a wonderful dream, but she forced herself to push it aside in order to avoid the grief of disappointment.
She had met the Matlocks and Colonel Fitzwilliam several times, and they all treated her with politeness, even friendliness.
But she knew all too well that none of them imagined that she might be anything else more than Georgiana’s friend.
Also, she had heard Mr Darcy’s engagement to his cousin Anne de Bourgh spoken of several times — a report that Georgiana dismissed as being false.
“Lady Catherine has spoken of their engagement since I was a child. I even asked Fitzwilliam about it. Anne is very sweet and quiet and gentle, and I would not mind having her as a sister. But my brother told me he is no fonder of Anne than our other cousins, and he has no intention of marrying her. He said he told Lady Catherine so too.”
“I cannot blame your aunt for wishing to marry her daughter to such an honourable man as Mr Darcy. Any mother would want that,” Elizabeth replied.
“My brother is fond of Anne, and I am sure he will always help and protect her. I know many gentlemen enter into arranged marriages, but he does not seem inclined to do so.”
Elizabeth rejoiced in the relief she felt at such news, which, in the end, could mean nothing to her; Mr Darcy might not be considering marrying his cousin, but he would still seek a wife from his circle and with similar wealth and connections.
Christmas was approaching, and Elizabeth’s distress was deepened by being away from her family — for the first time ever.
She knew such thoughts were childish; after all, both she and Jane could have been long married by their age and far away from their family.
Yet, she could not help pining for her happy past while fearing and praying for the future.
She especially missed Jane and their long, meaningful conversations.
If Jane were there, she might have confessed to her that she had fallen in love with Mr Darcy, and very likely Jane would have doubted her words.
Who would not? Even she was astonished and puzzled by such a drastic change from the night of the assembly, which was only two months ago.
Jane, on the other hand, seemed happy in the letters that she wrote to Elizabeth.
Mr Bingley was still a regular visitor at Longbourn and had chosen to remain at Netherfield, even though his friend and his sisters had left.
There could not be a better indication of what the future held for Jane.
Despite Miss Caroline Bingley’s apparent disgust at finding Elizabeth in Mr Darcy’s house, which showed that she — and very likely Mrs Hurst too — were completely against a possible connection between their brother and the Bennets, Mr Bingley seemed firm in his decision and steady to his purpose.
The rest of the reports from Jane indicated to Elizabeth that things had not changed much.
Even Kitty and Lydia’s partiality for the officers remained the same; especially for Mr Wickham, who seemingly had turned all his attention towards Mary King.
As much as she tried to control her resentment, Elizabeth’s anger towards that man turned into a hatred that she had never felt for anyone.
She had found no opportunity to speak to Mr Darcy about his plans for that scoundrel; she could not open the subject in the presence of Georgiana, and Mr Darcy avoided any private encounters with her.
She hoped that her father had warned Colonel Forster as well as Mary King’s uncle regarding the danger of having Wickham around.
Four days prior to Christmas, Elizabeth was invited to the drawing room, where she found Mr Darcy alone.
The moment she entered, his intense stare made her quiver, and her knees shook.
The drawing room door was left wide open so they could be seen and avoid an improper situation.
Still, his closeness and the feeling of being alone with him made her unsettled.
“Miss Bennet, please sit down. I have just received these letters. Two are for me, from your father and from Bingley. This one is for you, from your sister.”
He handed her the letter, and she took it hesitantly, fearing and hoping she might touch his fingers. She did not, though, as he carefully withdrew his hand.
“Thank you. I confess I am a little jealous, sir. My father has written to me only once, but he seems to maintain a diligent correspondence with you.”
“I have not opened Mr Bennet’s letter yet, but I am sure it contains mostly dull reports of business.
You have no reason to be jealous, Miss Bennet,” he said teasingly.
A little smile revealed his dimples, making her quiver again.
He was certainly referring to her last statement, but she felt like he was guessing her thoughts.
“Regardless, I trust you will find a reason to forget any jealousy when you read your sister’s letter,” he added, his smile turning mischievous.
“I am sure I shall. I always love receiving news from Jane.”
“I dare say her latest news will be particularly enjoyable,” he insisted. Elizabeth peered at him, puzzled, until comprehension struck her.
“Oh! How wonderful! I look forward to reading it.”
“I imagined as much.”
“I suspect Mr Bingley shared some news in his letter, too. I hope it did not displease you, Mr Darcy?”
“Not at all, I assure you. In fact, aside from your friendship with Georgiana, few things have given me more pleasure.”
Although his statement was innocent, something in his voice, as well as his declaration of pleasure, made her anxious. She needed a moment to calm herself before she replied.
“If you do not mind, I shall go and read my letter now.”
“Of course. If you wish to reply to your sister, please bring me the letter. I shall be sending my responses to Hertfordshire too.”
“Thank you, I shall.” She took the missive and left, almost jumping for joy; the desired outcome had occurred, and Mr Darcy had indicated as much.
She finally unsealed it and read with her own eyes, amused that Jane’s writing sounded more muddled than ever. Happiness could be felt behind the lines, as well as nervousness. Jane revealed that Mr Bingley had proposed only the day before, and Mr Bennet had given his blessing.
Dearest Lizzy,
I cannot believe one can be so happy!
I can barely breathe from the fear that it is only a dream, and I shall wake up, making it disappear.
Now I only pray that you will feel equal bliss very soon!
Elizabeth folded the letter with a tender smile; even in her most joyful moment, Jane was still thinking of her.
There was no better sister, nor better person.
Only Georgiana was close to Jane in nature and kindness of the heart.
Her sister’s engagement was certainly the best present she could receive for Christmas but also enhanced her longing to be at Jane’s side at such an important moment in her life.
After the ladies spent a joyful afternoon of shared news and planning for a Christmas dinner party, Mr Darcy joined them.
Only a few hours had passed since he had teased her, conveying the most delightful surprise, but Elizabeth noticed his expression was dark, and the frown had returned between his eyebrows.
Georgiana had clearly noticed too, and worry was also visible on her countenance as she asked what had happened.
“Only some business, my dear, do not worry,” he answered. “I shall be gone for the rest of the day, and I might be away tomorrow too.”
“Gone? Where?” Georgiana insisted with apparent panic.
“As I said, only some business. I came to inform you, but I am begging you to not be worried. There is no reason,” he answered. He cast repeated glances at Elizabeth, but his eyes did not rest on her for long.
“I have instructed Mrs Penfield that Miss Bennet has the authority to make any decision in the house as much as you do. I hope you do not mind.”
“No, of course not. But Brother, you speak like you will be gone for days! Will you not give us any details?”
He cast another glance towards Elizabeth and reluctantly answered, “A friend has asked for my help in an urgent and very important matter. It might be resolved within hours, or it might take a few days. I could be home tonight, but it will be very late, and I shall go to my room directly and likely leave in the morning before you wake up.”
“But is it dangerous?”
“No, not at all,” he responded, then he gently embraced his sister and said good-bye. Before he left, his eyes caught Elizabeth’s for only an instant.
Mrs Annesley tried to calm Georgiana, whose worry was still evident despite her brother’s assurance. Elizabeth stared at the door absently; the way Mr Darcy had tried to not look at her alarmed her, and concern pushed her to act imprudently.
“Forgive me, Mr Darcy told me to give him the letter I have written to Jane. I must ask him what I should do with it,” she offered and ran down the stairs before the other two had time to question her rather silly explanation.
Catching her breath, she found Mr Darcy in the library, ready to depart.
At her entrance, the surprise was obvious in his expression.
“Mr Darcy, forgive me. I must ask…I can see you are more worried than you wish us to believe. May I ask what has happened? I saw you were looking at me like I am somehow involved…”