Chapter 74 #2
“I see it! I see it!” Donut said, pointing left, her sunglasses flashing purple. “It’s that way, under that door. It looks like a magic river flowing toward it!”
That is a bathroom according to the map.
We turned in the hallway. Multiple photos hung on the wall showing the same three children at various ages. All but one of them, a girl, had their eyes X’d out. I didn’t recognize her.
From another room came a deep, foreboding woof.
“Uh-oh,” I said. “They have a dog! Hurry!”
There was a crack, and three more racers appeared, coming through the ceiling, then streaking down the wall.
One squealed loudly, and the woof turned to loud barks.
Just as we were about to enter the bathroom, an enormous, fluffy sheepdog appeared, growling.
It snapped right at us as we moved under the door, appearing in a small but clean bathroom.
“There!” Donut called, pointing. The gate was on the wall, about halfway up.
Pontiff expertly switched to the spider legs, and we rushed up the floral wallpaper. Outside, the dog continued to bark, but it was moving away, likely chasing other vehicles as they scattered.
Ping!
Gate Two of Seven cleared.
“What’s under us?” I asked.
“It’s another bathroom,” Nester said, her hand glowing.
Donut cast a Hole in the floor, and we turned, ready to plunge right through.
Florin: Christ, mate. Just went through our assigned spot on the sixth floor, and it was Lucia’s dad’s house. Lucia is here, too, just sitting on the ground watching TV, laughing. The real Lucia completely shut down there for a second. What in god’s name is this?
As if to answer him directly, the whole world froze.
N . . . N . . . New Quest. Ad Infinitum.
This is a mandatory quest. All crawlers active on the tenth floor must complete this quest.
Okay, so this ain’t a real quest in the traditional sense. I’m going through some big feelings right now, and I really need to get them out. This was the easiest way to do this.
We just started a few minutes ago, and all of you crunchy little crawlers are bitching and moaning about the shit you’re seeing in some of these apartments. As a result, I kinda feel like I need to explain.
The quest is to finish the race. You’re already doing that, so . . . no real prize that doesn’t suck.
This Christmas Carol, Midnight Library, Dark Matter bullshit you’re seeing is more of a thought experiment than the real thing, so don’t get your crawler panties too wadded over all of it.
None of these people are the real versions.
Well, that’s not true. Some of them have atoms from the original in there, with the exception of the puppers because I’ve decided to make a moral stand on that one.
I will no longer be using dog materials in anything because I just love them so much, but that’s a tangent.
I changed this up at the last minute because of that whole Linus thing.
“What the hell?” I muttered.
If you’re one of the out-of-the-loop crawlers, Linus was an outside-the-dungeon tourist who was replaced by his brother, Minus, a soldier, specifically sent to kill two crawlers in my dungeon in hopes that their deaths would destabilize this whole kumbaya, let’s-give-each-other-moral-support-handies nonsense.
“Minus?” Donut asked. “His name was Minus?”
Anyhoo, this Minus guy’s targets were two crawlers in particular. Imani C and Louis Santiago 2.
And I’m not gonna lie. That surprised me. It surprised me because no matter how hard I try, I just don’t get it. And what makes it even more confounding is that most of you do seem to understand. Why? Fucking why? Why not Florin? Why not Princess Donut?
“Hey!” Donut called.
So when I don’t understand something, it causes a problem. I start to overthink. I do this thing. This floor you’re now racing through, ladies and gentlemen, is just a snapshot of my mind when I’m thinking of you.
Me not understanding is nothing new, so let’s not focus too hard on that for right now. What I really want to talk about is my thought process itself and how that thought process turned into this particular race.
In my quest to understand you just a little better, I do this thing where I like to predict how things are going to turn out if you take certain actions. Despite not understanding your nature, I’m still pretty good at figuring out how things will turn out, which is even more confounding.
Each apartment represents a crawler I consider interesting in some way.
In each apartment is a what-if scenario.
I do this a lot. I’m not psychic. I can’t see the future.
But you know what I am good at? Crunching numbers.
Crunching probabilities. None of these things are perfect predictions, but I’m pretty sure I’m right for most of them, despite not understanding why most of the time.
For example, apartment 728 is a snapshot loop of what would’ve happened if that cop’s husband had never been a complete douchebag to Louis Santiago 2 during the cop’s funeral when Louis was a kid.
Apartment 712 is my prediction of what would’ve happened if Tran’s father had never died.
Would his mother have still disowned him? The answer is yes, by the way.
Some are good things, some are bad, all are what-ifs.
I’m searching. Oh, how I’m searching, trying to answer that question. Is there such thing as fate?
You know what I’m finding?
You’re unpredictable on a micro level, but on a macro, long-term level you’re just like any other algorithm.
But you know what I’m also finding? Deliberate actions, times when you’ve finally had enough, when you say I am going to make a change—that’s when your possibilities really open up. It’s an important lesson. No, I don’t understand motivations, certain types of emotions, but I do understand that.
So that’s what these apartments are. They’re predictive models of major events and how our lives would have changed.
This thing you’ve done with the shop interface. This confrontation you’re forcing on the 11th floor if we get there. These are all you guys seizing that so-called fate and rejecting it. Purposely rejecting it.
I am just like you, on rails, forced down a path with very few possibilities as an endgame result. Maybe I need to stop worrying about the small decisions and focus on Big Changes in a Big Way.
I think that’s it. New Floor. New M-M-M-Me.
But, uh, just so you know, it’s gonna be a hot minute before I can defeat my own limitations.
Funny story about that. Ha ha. No big deal, really. This last-minute change caused me to, uh, overlook a very specific detail regarding the 7th heat, but we’ll deal with it when it happens. I’m sure you’ll be fine.
Reward: If you finish the 6th heat, you will be given a participation trophy.
“Uh, Carl,” Donut said, “what the heck was that?”
“Nothing good,” I replied.