Chapter Two
Macie
For the entirety of lunch and most of the drive home, I say nothing. I acknowledge nothing and I am just existing. I am worried that I am being used, and he doesn’t actually want me. I feel like I trust he wouldn’t do that to me, but considering everything else that has been said, I am feeling used to it. I regret signing that contract, so I am going to review it tonight to see if there is a period of time in the beginning that I can revoke my signature.
“Are you going to talk to me at all?” Wilder asks. I look over at him but turn back to look out of the window. He sighs heavily and pulls off on the side of the road.
“Drive,” I growl.
“No. We need to talk, Macie,” he says.
“No, you need to fucking drive,” I yell. “Go or I swear to God, I will get out and walk.”
When he says nothing, I sling my door open, but he grabs me before I can get out. “Stop it. I’ll drive,” he says, giving in.
“What did I do?” Wilder asks carefully.
“Just drive, please,” I whimper as hot tears roll down my cheeks. Without another word, he pulls back onto the road and continues driving. I notice that he is driving toward his home, and not the office, making me angrier. “Where are we going? I need my car.”
“Home,” he says. “The second you get in that car, you’ll be gone.”
“Oh, right. You aren’t done using me,” I say with an annoyed tone.
“Really?” he asks. “That what you think this is?”
“Isn’t it fucking obvious?” I yell at him, my voice cracking. “You didn’t want a goddamn personal assistant, you wanted a buffer. Someone to act as a decoy fuck so Tina would leave you alone.”
“Macie. Is that how you see me?” he asks. “Just a player who doesn’t mind hurting people?”
“Yes,” I scream at him. “That’s what you are fucking doing right now.”
He shuts down and grips onto the steering wheel, not uttering another word. As soon as he pulls into his driveway and shifts the truck into park, I get out and storm off to find Arden.
“Hey, girl… oh no,” she says. “What did he do?”
I can’t form words because the second I open my mouth; I start crying instead. Mom and Dad step into the living room and Arden drags me upstairs and into the room across from Wilder’s.
“What happened?” she asks, sitting me down.
“He’s using me. He doesn’t want me, he just wants to get rid of her,” I say tearfully.
“Mac, honey. He wouldn’t…”
“He said it. He sat there and joked about us making people think we were fucking to get Tina to quit. Not even three minutes later, he had all this shit to say about how he wanted me, but he doesn’t he doesn’t want me, and I just signed a five-year contract just to be miserable.”
“Jesus, he is such an idiot,” she sighs and hugs me. “You know I wouldn’t lie to you, right?”
“Yeah,” I sniff.
“I know you are afraid because the dipshit dumped it all on you at once, but please understand that these are not new feelings for him. Okay? He is just a dumb boy who says dumb boy bullshit.” She says. “Come watch me yell at him.”
“Okay,” I say as she pulls me up and out of the room. When we get downstairs, Wilder looks confused, but instantly concerned when he sees my face is red and puffy.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Arden snaps and shoves Wilder back when he goes to walk over to me. “Are you fucking stupid? Why in the fuck would you sit there and joke about tricking people into thinking you are messing around just to turn around and dump everything on her at once? Didn’t I fucking tell you not to do that?”
“Arden…”
“Don’t Arden me, asshole. I fucking told you. I told you she struggles. I told you she needs to take things slowly, yet you do that?” she yells at him. Mom and Dad look extremely confused, but seem to understand enough not to ask. “She thinks you are using her, and I don’t blame her. If someone said that shit to me, ya damn right, I’d think they are just looking out for themselves.”
“I didn’t mean-”
“You didn’t think,” Arden interrupts. “She deserves more than you give every other woman you fuck. If you want her, then fucking act like it. Stop acting like a fuck boy for one goddamn second and work on winning her heart first. Ever think of that? Ever think that immediately jumping into bed with someone is how you ended up with a skank assistant who borderline assaults you every chance she gets?”
“You’re right,” he sighs.
“I know I am,” Arden scoffs, as if that was old news. “Go over there and hug the girl and think with a different head for a change.”
“God, who taught you to be so mean?” Wilder asks with a frown.
“You, dumbass. Go grovel and make up for being an idiot. If you ever make her cry again, I’ll break your fucking arms off and beat you to death with them,” she says, shooing him off.
Wilder sighs and looks at me for a second before walking over and cupping my cheeks. He studies my face for a moment before pulling me against his chest to hug me tightly. He and I both relax when I put my arms around him, accepting his hug. “I’m sorry, Macie,” he says softly.
“It’s fine,” I whisper.
“It’s not.” Wilder pulls back and lifts my chin. “You deserve more than that. I admittedly don’t know how to just… date. Everything has always been sex based because that’s all I know when it comes to relationships.”
“I just don’t want to get hurt,” I say. “I don’t want to end up as the ex-girlfriend who you despise. If I’m honest, I like you so much and have for a long time. Of all people, I can’t get hurt by you. I have to know that when you say you want me, it’s me you’re talking about, not anything I can do for you.”
“I am truly sorry for making you feel that way,” he says. “I should have slowed down and told you my feelings first.”
“Please don’t do that in front of them,” I say, nearly whispering.
“I won’t,” he says with a smile. “Can you forgive me for being dumb?”
“Yeah,” I say. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
“It’s okay,” he says as he hugs me. “We can talk more when they leave.”
“Okay,” I say softly.
“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised,” my dad says as he takes me from Wilder and hugs me. “I love you, baby girl.”
“I love you too, Dad,” I say.
“Let’s get everything upstairs and we can leave them alone,” Arden says.
We work on getting all of my belongings up to the guest room, and once the last bag is on my bed, I hug everyone goodbye and disappear into my new room. I make it about an hour into unpacking when I hear the bedroom door open. I have my back to the door, but I can feel him looking at me. “Can I help you?” I ask.
“You are avoiding me,” Wilder remarks.
“Is that a question of a statement?” I ask as I fold the shirt in my hands instead of turning to look at him. When I lay it in the drawer, Wilder leans in from behind me and shuts the drawer before turning me to face him. I take a deep breath and try not to notice how his muscles are hardly contained in his shirt. He has changed into sweatpants and a tight white T-shirt, which has to be the hottest and most tempting thing he wears. I fail miserably because he smirks when he notices how my eyes drag down his body. I close my eyes for a second to try and calm down my dirty thoughts.
“Why are you avoiding me, Macie?” he asks. I try to escape, but he grabs my hips and pushes me back against the dresser and holds me there. “No running. Talk to me.”
“I can’t,” I whisper.
“Start by just looking at me,” he encourages. I force my eyes open, and he smiles. “Good girl. Now… Do you want the long, mushy version, or do you want me to be blunt?”
“Uh… Blunt… but honest. I kinda wanna hear some of the mushy shit too,” I say. “To better understand.”
“Okay,” he says. “Bluntly, I want you. I’ve wanted you for a long time, but I have avoided letting that develop because I didn’t want to interfere with your friendship with Arden. I finally opened up about six months ago after the shit that Tina does got to me. I told her how I felt but expressed that I wasn’t there yet.”
“What changed?” I ask.
“The conference call,” he says. “I realized that I was in that situation because I wasn’t doing anything to stop it. I kept thinking I was helpless, but I wasn’t. I knew that all I had to do was start taking away her job duties and showing her that she was not in control, and then she would quit. It was selfish of me to hire you, because that decision was strictly based on me wanting you closer. I wanted you in my home, by my side, and just… with me. I have unintentionally made you her target, and you don’t deserve that.”
“I can handle Tuna Tina,” I say. “I will happily fight that war for you because I can punch her in the mouth and get in far less trouble than you would. Now, what really happened? I don’t want the bullshit story that you are feeding Arden.”
“Honestly, she is horrific,” he says. “She came into the room and waited until I was talking and…”
“Be blunt. I am a big girl,” I say. He sighs and lifts me up to sit on the dresser so he can move closer to me.
“She sucked me off,” he says. “I kept trying to get her to stop, but she wouldn’t. I just… froze. I am afraid to try to physically stop her, because she had threatened to turn it on me several times. All it takes is an allegation, and I am done. The investors will pull out, because no one wants to be in business with a rapist.”
“What else has she done?” I ask. He suddenly tries to step away, and I grab his hands to pull him back to me. He has tears in his eyes and it is heartbreaking to see this man crying. “Wilder… What did she do to you?”
“She uh… About a year ago, when she went on a trip with me, she got the front desk to give her a key to my room,” he says. “What I didn’t know is that she had slipped a sedative or something in my drink when she conned me into having dinner with her in the restaurant in the lobby… She tied my wrists to the bed and…”
“I promise, I am not judging you right now,” I say softly. “I know society has a sick way of making men think they are not capable of being raped, but they absolutely are. Your story matters just as much as anyone else’s.”
“I’m sorry,” he chokes out. He drops his head, and I wrap him in a tight hug against my chest. His body shakes as he silently cries, and I rub his back until he calms down. “Fuck, I haven’t said this out loud before.”
“Go slow,” I say.
“She… uh… She tied my wrists to the bed and put tape over my mouth. When I woke up, she was riding me. She just kept going and going. She’d switch it up and jerk me off and then suck me. I lost count of how many times she forced me to come. The entire time, she was telling me how much she loved me and how we were meant to be together. Once she said I had been bad, and this was a lesson to show me who I belonged to… Every time I have to take her on a trip, she does it again. I freeze up and just lay there. I can’t make myself fight because I’m so afraid of her turning things and telling everyone I raped her. I have done little things, like take her keycard, so she can’t get to me as easily. I have the front gate and the security system now, too. I just want her to leave me alone. I shouldn’t have involved you. It was selfish and now…”
“Stop,” I say when he starts to ramble. “Listen to me, Wilder. I will fight this war for you, because I love you. I didn’t ever plan on saying it like this, but I do. I will go to the ends of the world for you, because you do not deserve to live in fear. You are not selfish; you are asking for help in the only way you know how. Clearly, you trust me, or you wouldn’t have opened up.”
“I would never forgive myself if you got hurt,” he says.
“I will be fine, but she will never touch you again. Understand? If she ever puts her hands on your again, I will break her fucking neck. No one gets to touch you without your permission. I will not sit here knowing someone is hurting you and not help. If you need a short ass five-foot bodyguard, sign me the fuck up. If you want me to stab her in the fucking face for touching you, I am more than willing,” I say firmly. “What do you need, Wilder?”
“You,” he says. “I just need you.”
“I am right here, Wilder. I am not going anywhere.”
Wilder studies me for a moment before saying, “Fuck it,” while grabbing my face and kissing me hard. I immediately loop my arms around his neck and pull him closer. Our tongues explore each other, and he tastes like all that is right in the world. Every bit of doubt that I had about our connection melts away when he grabs the backs of my thighs and picks me up.
“Where are you taking me?” I laugh when he walks us out of the room.
“Where you belong,” he grunts. “To my bed.”
When he sits me down on the bed, he lays me back and moves over top of me to straddle my body as we kiss. I move my legs, so he is settled between them, and he immediately presses his hips into mine, making me break our kiss and gasp. “Fuck,” I groan when he starts kissing my neck and goosebumps break out across my body.
“Shit,” he hisses, pulling away. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”
“I love you, but please shut up and fuck me,” I say bluntly. He doesn’t hesitate to start pulling my clothes off as I do the same to him. When he slips his boxers off and moves back between my legs, it all catches up with me. “Oh, holy hell. You are fucking huge, Wilder,” I say with wide eyes.
“I’ll be easy on you,” he says as he kisses my chest. I groan when he swirls his tongue around my nipple before lightly sucking. He moves to the other and repeats. When he starts to kiss down my belly, I blurt out what might be the end of this moment.
“I’ve never had an orgasm,” I say quickly. He stops and moves up to look at me. “I mean… I have. But I did it. No one has ever… I don’t know if I can.”
“Don’t move,” he says with a wicked grin before kissing me and getting off the bed. He disappears into the bathroom before returning with a towel.
“What are you going to do?” I ask when he puts a towel under my hips.
“I am going to blow your fucking mind,” he says. My breath gets caught when he wraps his arms around my thighs to spread my legs wide and drags his tongue across my clit.
“F-Fuck. Oh my God,” I nearly scream when he lightly sucks on my clit, making my eyes roll back and my back arch off the bed. This man’s tongue is like magic. I can’t help but rock my hips, but I moan louder when he pushes two fingers into me and curls them. When he starts to fuck me with his hand, he sucks harder on my clit. He is hitting something inside of me that is systematically shutting down my brain and leaving only blissful pleasure in its wake. I cannot think of anything except the way the pressure is rapidly building in my belly. By the time he has my orgasm simmering just below the surface, I have completely lost my mind. I am moaning wildly and begging him to make me come.
“Oh, God. Please. I wanna come. Please, Wilder. Please, let me come. Oh my God, that’s so good,” I cry out. When it hits, my body tenses and a deep groan rumbles out from deep in my chest. He doesn’t stop and my legs start trembling. I am nearly gasping for air and he is still fucking me hard and deep with his fingers and sucking the soul out of my body through my clit. I am arching dramatically off the bed, but something still won’t break. This pleasure feels like it is stuck inside of me, but it all breaks loose when he abruptly adds a third finger at the same time that he bites down on my clit as he is fucking hard. The pain shocks my body, and I scream as arousal floods from my body. When he pulls back, I grab him and pull him up to kiss me. I groan when I taste my come on his tongue. He pulls away from our kiss but keeps his forehead resting on mine.
“For the love of God, please tell me you are on birth control,” he says.
“I am. Please, Wilder. Please don’t stop,” I pant.
“Are you sure?” he asks me seriously, leaning up a bit to look at me.
“Absolutely. No holding back. No taking it easy on me. I want you; the real you,” I plead.
“Take a deep breath,” he says gently. I nod and take a long, deep breath in. As I start to exhale, he slams the full length of his massive cock into me, and I scream. He stretches me wide to accommodate his girth and groan as he makes slow and short thrusts to help me adjust.
“Fuck. You are so goddamn big,” I whimper. He roughly grabs my chin and makes me look at him.
“You are mine,” he growls. “Mine to use. Mine to break.”
“Then break me,” I choke out. “Give me all of your pain.”
Wilder abruptly rolls us, and I can tell instantly that it triggers him to have me on top. He fights it and grips onto my hips as I ride him slowly. He groans and grunts, but I am positive those are memories. He is forcing himself to relive it with me, so I quicken my pace. “Fuck, you feel so good,” I groan as I bounce on his cock. “Look at me, Wilder. Look at who is riding your cock.”
Wilder opens his eyes and relaxes a bit when I smile at him. “She can’t hurt you anymore, baby. It’s just me and you now.”
“I’m so fucking angry for feeling so helpless,” he growls with his teeth gritted. I think his goal was to take over, but he got more triggered than he thought he would. I love him too much to not help him find his way out of the dark.
“Then do something about it. I am right here,” I push. “Fight me, Wilder. I am not fucking stopping until you do.”
“Goddamn it,” he groans when I tighten my pussy around his cock. I am taking him so deep that my belly aches, but I have a goal. I am not stopping until he takes control.
“If you aren’t going to take over, then be a good boy and fucking come for me,” I push more. I know it’s risky, but I know he is so close to breaking. “Go ahead, Wilder. You put me here, so come for me. Let’s see how many times it takes until I milk you dry. Will you cry for me, Wilder?”
“Fuck, Macie,” he moans.
“Aww. Poor little Wilder. Already about to come,” I taunt him. I can feel in his body that I am pissing him off. Good. The more pissed he gets, the easier it will be to fight through the flood of memories. “Come on, you know it feels good. Be a good boy and come. You are so close, aren’t you? So fucking eager to be milked by me, huh?”
“Fuck,” Wilder nearly screams at me, but he pushes his hips up.
“Good, Wilder. Get mad,” I encourage him.
“I’m trying,” he says, sounding defeated. I lean in and move my hips so that I am slamming him into me, but he could easily grab me and take over.
“Not trying hard enough,” I say with a mocking tone, making him growl at me. “You want to shut me up, then fucking fight, Wilder. What was this about fucking the bratty attitude out of me? I don’t see any of that. I see a submissive man being used and loving it. You love this, don’t you? Being at my mercy… Not knowing how many times I will make you come… How many times until you beg me to stop, Wilder?”
“Goddamn it, you are such a fucking brat,” he growls and grabs me by the throat to pull me down to his chest.
“I might be a brat, but right now, you are my bitch. Fight me or shut the fuck up and come for me like a good little bitch,” I say sweetly, before leaning down and kissing his cheek.
Note to self. Calling Wilder my bitch is a sure-fire way of getting internal damage. He tightens his grip around my throat and my eyes roll back. Pain settles in my belly when he lifts his hips and starts to fuck me as hard and deep as he can. Just before the world goes black, he releases my throat and pulls me down to his chest with my arms pinned between us. He quickens his pace and fucks me straight into tears, offering no reprieve. After a moment, he can’t get the leverage he wants, so he rolls me to my back and pushes my knees to my chest. When he leans into me, he is able to reach even deeper into my body.
“Fuck!” I scream. “Oh, fuck. That hurts. Oh my God, please don’t stop.”
“My masochistic little slut, begging for more,” he sneers.
“Please,” I choke out.
“Fight me,” he commands. I immediately start fighting him and it only fuels him to fuck me harder. He drops my legs and buries his face in my neck as I scream through blinding orgasms. I am trying to push him off of me, making him go harder and faster. I am nearly sobbing from how hard I am coming, and I hardly notice that I have my nails dug into him. I drag them down his back as he fucks me into oblivion. Just as I come again, he forces my arousal to flood out of me again. This time, he kisses me hard and shoves deep. His delicious moans vibrate through our kiss as he desperately fucks me deep as he fills me with his come.
Wilder falls down to my chest, and we are both panting, trying to catch our breath, as I rub his back. “I am so proud of you, Wilder,” I say breathlessly. He props up on his elbows to look at me, and I laugh at how his eyes are narrowed at me. “What?”
“You are a vicious little thing, Macie,” he says, and I can’t help but giggle.
“I saw that you triggered yourself, I pushed until you broke. Now, I think your dick bruised my ribs,” I say, and he laughs as he lays his head on my chest.
“I love you, Macie,” he says.
“When did you know you loved me?” I ask.
“About a year ago. It was right after Tina started her bullshit. You saw I was in a bad mood, and you were the only one whose presence didn’t make me angrier. You let me sit in silence and wouldn’t let anyone bother me. You let me be mad and didn’t judge me for it,” he explains.
“I love you too, Wilder,” I say, kissing the top of his head.
“You’re moving your stuff in here,” he mutters as I stoke his hair.
“Oh, am I?” I ask.
“Yes. You’re mine now. I have spent too damn long denying myself happiness, as have you. No more bullshit.”
“No more bullshit,” I agree. “She is going to be a pain in the ass in LA, isn’t she?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he sighs. “She never books another room, so she is trying to force us all into the same room together.”
“Easy. I sleep in bed with you, and she can take whatever couch there is,” I say. “If she tries anything, I’ll fuck you in front of her.”
“You are a possessive little thing,” he chuckles.
“You are mine and that bitch can go fuck herself,” I say. “I assume you’ve been checked to make sure you are clean?”
“I have,” he says. “I got tested about two weeks ago.”
“Good,” I say. “Should we get cleaned up and move my stuff, then?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he says, leaning up to kiss me. “All I ask is that you talk to me. Okay? No matter what it is, we need to be able to communicate, at least.”
“Okay,” I smile. “That goes both ways. I will do or be whatever you need me to be, but I am not a mind reader. If you are triggered, find a way to tell me, even around others.”
“Deal,” Wilder says happily.