Chapter 21 – Juliana
N ever thought I’d have a man begging to take care of me. He’s too good to be true, yet he’s real. Becca said to consider the depth of my feelings for him. Living with him the next nine months would give me plenty of time to do that. Why not see where things might lead?
But, carefully. We’ve committed to co-parenting a child, a physically, emotionally and mentally challenging task that is just beginning when the labor of birth ends.
For tonight, I step inside Liam’s airy kitchen in Presidio Heights as he sets the kitty carrier down. “Here we are, cats, your home away from home. Sunny windowsills over there for napping during the afternoons and a backyard worth exploring if you promise to behave yourselves.”
I smirk as Beans is still crouching at the back of the carrier, hissing at everything. Meanwhile, Bert struts right out, leaving more orange hairs on Liam’s black dress pants.
Along with my feline houseguests and their supplies, we packed a bag for me before heading here.
Seeing how tired I was, Liam said we’d move the rest of my things tomorrow.
At least, I was able to keep some saltine crackers down on the drive over.
Maybe my little blueberry felt sorry for mommy after I brained myself earlier.
He carries my bag down the hallway into the guest bedroom. My fatigue is increasing with every step as I follow him. Without a word, Liam pulls back the covers on the bed for me. “Mind reader.” I take a seat on the edge of the bed.
“I’ll try my best to be one for you, but you’ve gotta tell me when I fail. Are you hungry, honey?”
I slowly shake my head. “I should be but I think the crackers are it for now.”
“Okay. I’m going to order breakfast to be delivered in the morning. I’ll get an assortment of things. Maybe some variety will help you find something you can keep down.”
“You don’t have to do all that.”
“But, I want to.” My heart flutters. “Anything else you need?” I glance toward the bathroom, longingly. “I’ll give you privacy,” he says, stepping toward the door.
“No, I… I was just thinking a shower would be nice, but I’m going to lay down instead. I need sleep more than anything.”
He nods. “I’m going to make a sandwich, but I’ll be coming in to check on you periodically overnight.”
“Thank you.”
He leaves and I kick my shoes off. I glance toward the beige marble bath again with its large walk-in shower.
The showerhead has a dozen different settings.
Last time I stayed with him, he bought my favorite luxury line of bath care products, the ones I won’t buy myself because they’re so expensive.
I’m sure they’re still there. I’ve been poked and prodded more than once today, not to mention my temple kissing the corner of a metal bench earlier before I was laid out on a city sidewalk.
Bottom line, I feel icky. And, there’s a lingering chill from my hours in the cool hospital room with only that thin gown to wear.
But, when I stand, I’m still a bit unsteady.
I am not doing another faceplant today. I can either resign myself to icky or I’ll need help.
“I’m going to make sure you have all the care you need and then I’m going to give you three times more.
” Sucking in a deep breath, I decide to ask for the help I need.
He’s standing at the kitchen island, eating his sandwich when I finally join him. Beans has stopped hissing and is just now poking her pink nose out of the carrier but their food and water bowls are set up along with the litter box by the backdoor.
Liam reaches down to pat Bert’s head, who’s still weaving around his legs like Liam’s his favorite tree. The instant he spots me, he lays his sandwich down, hurrying toward me while still chewing his last bite. “Waff-oo-oo-eed, ‘oney?”
Giggling, my heart thumps with affection. “I really want to take a shower, but it’s probably not safe for me to do it alone tonight. I was wondering if you’d take it with me.”
He starts choking. God, that sounded so forward of me. First night here and I’m screwing it up. “Just to help steady me,” I clarify, patting his back until he stops coughing. “I’m not asking for… anything else.”
My face catches fire as he glances down at his feet where Bert is still circling. “Yeah, of course. I’ll grab my trunks,” he says, gruffly. He strides off before I can say anything like ‘don’t bother’ to make this even more awkward.
Gingerly, I make my way back to the bedroom.
I remove my clothes, debating before leaving my undergarments on.
Then, I head into the bathroom and grab a couple of fresh towels.
My hands tremble as I start the water. My head swims as a ripple of nausea passes.
The last thing I want to do is throw up in front of him.
This was a bad idea. Just shower quickly and get it over with, I tell myself.
But, before I can step into the shower, a warm hand lands on my hip, sending tingles all through me.
“You’re supposed to wait for me.” His gravelly voice drips with authority and, when I turn, I’m rewarded with the sight of Liam in nothing but a pair of fitted, black swim trunks.
His tanned and toned body is beyond sexy and that ripple of nausea in my belly transforms into a pleasant tightening in my core.
“Sorry, I started to think maybe I should-”
Liam’s hand moves from my hip to the top of my ass cheek. “Stop thinking so much and let me help you… or else.” He punctuates that with a firm pat. Oh hell. “Do you wish to leave those on?” he asks, his eyes dropping down to my bra and panties.
It’s silly of me to be modest. He’s seen me. He’s more than seen me. “Not really.” I unhook my bra and let it slide down my shoulders, trying to not think about how bright it is in here and all my imperfections.
Liam gulps and then starts fiddling with the towels.
Maybe he would’ve preferred if I’d left it on.
Too late now. I push my panties down next.
In profile, I can see his jaw clenching as he keeps fiddling.
“I’d offer you a blindfold, but I worry that would defeat the purpose of you helping me. I know this is awkward…”
He snickers, shaking his head and facing me again. “Awkward isn’t the problem. If I look too long, these trunks won’t be able to hide what your naked body does to me, Juliana. I worry more about making you uncomfortable.”
Oh. Well, doesn’t that make me feel a helluva lot better?
“It’s okay if that happens. You don’t make me uncomfortable, Liam,” I assure him, but I didn’t blush this much as a middle schooler around my crush.
Helping me in, Liam positions himself behind me and closes the glass door.
“You’ll be cold if you don’t get under the water, too. ”
“I’m not cold. And, I’m taking care of you, honey.”
“I’m not used to that,” I admit, squinting at the shower wall to shove a few unwanted tears back into my eyeballs. Damn hormones make me so emotional.
“Being taken care of?” he guesses, his knuckles softly brushing my cheek.
I sniff before leaning forward and allowing the spray to wash the tears away. “Yeah. You always take care of me, of course, but this is different.” This is something else entirely and he’s promising me more of it. “Sometimes, hurtful memories make me feel… unworthy of this kind of care.”
He scowls. “You tell those hurtful memories I’m going to kick their ass because you’re worthy of the best care.” I can’t help grinning. “Seriously, that kind of thinking needs to change, Jules.” I know Becca would agree with him.
Turning my back toward him, I savor the hot water rushing over my skin. The heat is delicious but it soon makes me feel lightheaded again. I reach for the handrail but, before I can even start to stumble, he’s got an arm wrapped around my waist. “I’ve got you.”
Holy hell, how am I supposed to resist him this way?
My hands clutch his arm, his bicep bulging where he’s supporting me.
It reminds me of how he lifted me with such ease at Sable.
My fingernails curl into his flesh, wanting to mark him like I did that night.
I can feel his breath on my neck, a quick pant, and I shiver, knowing I can affect him, too.
“Could you reach the soap for me?” I ask, not ready for him to let me go.
“Hold onto the rail to be safe.” I nod and he squeezes the pump, rubbing the lovely lemon-scented liquid between his palms. “I’ve read citrus scents are usually more tolerable for women suffering from morning sickness.”
“You’re becoming quite the expert on- oh!”
“Keep holding the rail, baby,” he murmurs, his soapy hands gliding over my shoulders.
I hold on, feeling lightheaded for entirely different reasons now.
He caresses my neck and upper arms. My nipples could cut glass.
“I’m just gonna…” He lightly rubs my lower back.
My head tips back and a quiet moan escapes.
“This alright?” he asks, all husky and dark.
“Uh-huh.”
“That’s good.”
Inhaling deeply, I relish the lemony fragrance, the steamy water and the feel of a man’s strong hands on me this way.
I can’t recall the last time I showered with a man, but I know it would’ve been Chad.
He would’ve said sexy things, but he would’ve said things about my body, too.
Things that would later make me question myself through every ugly encounter before the divorce was final.
My stomach twists, and I have to breathe deeply to push past the memories.
“Jules?” Liam’s voice centers me again.
I smile and nod for him to continue. Like Becca said, Liam is not Chad and never will be.
“We don’t want to miss any spots, do we?
” he rumbles as he detaches the showerhead, increasing the intensity of the spray.
It’s like a massage on my shoulders, so good.
And then, he aims it lower and lower and…
oh God . While rinsing my hips, he reaches around and manages to direct the water just so. It feels good. Really, really good.
My heart pounds and my cheeks are flushed from more than hot water.
I squeeze my thighs together, imagining his hand replacing the jet of water, remembering his mouth on me.
This is the second time he’s made me feel horny today when my hormones have been running in every direction except that one lately.
Considering his size though, my body whimpers at the thought of sex after the day I’ve had. “Liam…”
“Yeah, I think it’s best if you get your front,” he rasps, abruptly putting the nozzle back where it belongs. “I’m right here so you won’t fall,” he adds, a self-conscious smile playing on his full, firm lips. “Then, we’ll get you tucked in so you can sleep.”
Rest is what I need most, but disappointment mixes with acceptance.
Once I’ve rinsed myself thoroughly, my eyes drop down his wet, muscular frame coming to a stop at the black swim trunks. Oh shit. “I’m not doing a good job of simply being a shower companion and avoiding ‘anything else.’ Sorry.”
“No, you’re perfect and that’s just… nature.” What blows me away is that he could be so affected by me.
But, if we’re really going to live together for nine months, I can’t jeopardize all of that simply because I wouldn’t mind getting jumped by Liam again at some point.
After shutting the water off, we grab our towels. Liam wraps me up in his, covering my nakedness as he drip-drips on the bathmat. His skin is soon pebbled with goosebumps, but he doesn't complain. He’s also still hard, but neither of us comments on that.
Once I’m dry and standing back beside the bed, he passes me the pajamas I packed. “I’ll be in to check on you once you’ve had a chance to get in bed,” he says, before kissing my forehead and leaving.
“Hurry back,” I whisper, knowing he won’t hear me.