Chapter 26 - Juliana
D uring breakfast, when I was having a burst of second trimester energy, Liam told me what he’d planned for us today. I’d smiled, giddy that he’s put so much thought into this, and happily agreed to the hike, saying I could see why many choose to babymoon during this stage.
But, that burst of energy has its limits.
“How much further?” I whine. I had my fill of the island’s inland natural beauty twenty minutes ago. Give me a mocktail and hammock to sway in.
Liam chuckles from behind me. “Half a mile to the banyan tree.”
“There are banyan trees all over this island, aren’t there?”
“Right you are, but this one is supposed to be special. Do you need to take a break, Jules?”
I glance back at his sincere and concerned expression.
He hasn’t even broken a sweat during our hike through the jungle.
He’s twenty-eight and incredibly fit. This little walk is nothing for him.
I feel like someone’s locked me in a sweatbox while my dogs are barking with every step I take in these boots that seem to have shrunk since my last hiking excursion… five years ago.
“No, I’m fine,” I lie, marching on.
“Stubborn, stubborn woman,” he grumbles a short while later as he removes my boots, inspecting my toes.
I cringe at my chipped toenail polish and sweaty feet but the man doesn’t seem to care.
He rubs them gently, merely chastising me for not admitting sooner that my feet hurt. “All you had to do was say something. ”
“Wimpy Juliana would’ve turned around twenty minutes ago. Adventurous Juliana with her stubborn streak gets to experience this,” I counter, nodding toward the ancient banyan tree with its magical waters surrounded by this verdant forest canopy.
“I would never call you a wimp, and I already know you’ve got an adventurous side.” My face heats up, suspecting he’s referring to Sable. “Now, sit here and put your feet in this.”
“Ooh…” I groan, relishing the cooling sensation of the trickling brook as it rushes over my sore feet.
Chuckling, Liam takes a seat beside me. The massive log under our banyan tree is not a comfortable bench but it will do. “We’ll choose something a little less strenuous for tomorrow.”
“I’m still capable of painting shells at an indoor table like a kindergartener.”
He throws his head back and laughs. “That doesn’t sound like the worst way to spend an afternoon. I was going to suggest building a kite. They’ve got all the supplies at the resort to make them and then we can fly it from our deck.”
I recall the kites we saw when we arrived yesterday and give him a skeptical look. “Don’t kites just come ready-made?”
“Where’s the fun in that?” I snicker and he pulls out two coins. “You never made a birthday wish, and this tree and its waters are supposedly lucky. So, I thought...”
My heart thumps, enjoying the romance of that. I didn’t expect to experience romance beyond my favorite miniseries again. “Okay,” I say, my voice shakier than intended.
I take one of the coins, really think a moment on the one word that won’t leave my thoughts lately before I close my eyes, make a wish and toss my coin in - Brave.
“What did you wish for?”
I shake my head at him. “It might cancel out the wish if I tell you.”
He smirks. “Hmm. Very well, I won’t tell you mine either.” I’m giggling when he tosses his coin into the water, but I can’t help wondering what sort of wish Liam would make.
We sit in silence a little longer before he pulls a cooling cloth from his backpack and places it around my neck. I groan with pleasure, then take a sip from my water bottle. He passes me a granola bar and starts cutting an apple for us to share with a pocketknife. “You came prepared.”
“That’s the motto of any good scout, right?”
“Were you a scout? Did you ever go camping as a kid?” I ask, realizing it's not a topic we’ve ever discussed. It’s pleasant to think that after years of knowing someone there can still be new things to discover.
“Not a scout and my parents never took us camping. Could you picture Sylvia Culver in a tent?” I nearly choke on my granola bar because there’s no way.
“There were a few times I got packed off to rich kid summer camps. I preferred going with my brothers once they were old enough to take us without supervision… after they’d argued long enough about where we’d go. ”
“Differences of opinion, huh?”
“Yep. Ethan always chose somewhere with fresh water for that sort of fishing. Dean wanted beaches so he could surf.”
“What did Little Liam want?”
“The effect on my ego of you calling me Little Liam may be irreversible.” I giggle as he swallows a bite of apple. “I just wanted everyone to get along, something that rarely happened when we were home with Mom and Dad.”
It sounds remarkably similar to what Ivy told me.
It hurts my heart, thinking of him as a sweet boy trying to please everyone.
“I know you’re the only one still on speaking terms with your parents.
What was it like…” His expression darkens.
“Sorry, you don’t have to answer that.” Way to go fishing for childhood trauma after he brings you to paradise, Juliana.
“Don’t apologize,” he says, softly. He gazes at my feet in the brook for a long while before continuing. “He never laid a hand on me or Ivy.”
The significance of that distinction has me sucking in a shuddering breath, feeling like my emotions have been scraped raw. “Your mom?” He shakes his head. “Ethan and Dean?”
He nods. “Sometimes. Mostly, he preferred inflicting damage verbally.”
“I’m sorry.How long-”
“My mother finally threatened to leave him if he didn’t stop. A divorce would’ve cost him a fortune. My brothers were sent off to boarding school soon after and I was too frightened of him to test his restraint when I was small.”
I shake my head. “Why wouldn’t she have left him sooner? Or, at least threatened to if that’s all it took?”
“It would’ve looked bad. She might not have been able to hold her head high at the country club if anyone learned she’d ignored his abusive behavior to stay in the lifestyle she covets.”
“I don’t understand that. I would never tolerate anyone hurting my child.” My maternal feelings are overwhelmed at the mere thought.
He glances up at me, intense emotion swimming in his eyes. “I know you wouldn’t, and I love that about you. But, I… What if I become like him? You’ve said it yourself, I’m hot-headed. I lose my temper too easily. I never thought about having kids because I worried I’d be a shitty dad like…”
I shake my head, not wanting him to beat himself up this way. “You are hot-headed sometimes but, when it comes to those you know you’re meant to protect, I have complete faith in you. I know you would never hurt me or our baby.”
His shoulders lose some of their tension and I lean into him. The weighted moment stretches on until I feel like I’m drowning under this new knowledge, knowing what his dad did, but I’m glad he shared his pain and his fear with me.
At last, Liam breaks the tension by standing to stretch before he pulls a small towel out of his backpack. “We’ll need to dry your feet so you can make it back out of here without more blisters. No more hiking until you’ve got better shoes.”
He thinks of everything and never in my years of marriage was I ever pampered like this. “Did Ivy go camping, too, when you’d go with your brothers?” I ask to steer us back toward happier times.
“Sometimes, but she’d spend hours scribbling and sketching in her journal rather than joining in on our more boisterous activities.”
“I think I would’ve sat beside Ivy and scribbled.”
He finishes patting my feet dry, his cheeks pinkening slightly when he admits, “I would’ve enjoyed seeing whatever you scribbled. What about you, Adventure Girl? Did your family go camping?”
I snort at the nickname. “My dad likes the outdoors. Mom, not so much. I think I’m nicely divided on the matter. He took me and Wendy twice. I loved the woods and wildlife but not the blisters, bug bites or going behind bushes to… you know.”
“Can’t say I enjoy any of those three. Maybe our blueberry will enjoy camping with us though,” he suggests.
“Maybe so. How do you feel about the baby’s last name?”
His brow furrows and I don’t have to be a mind reader to interpret that. “Are you strongly against our baby having my last name?” he asks, carefully.
I’d originally planned on Baby Davenport. I’d expected to raise this baby on my own. Things keep changing. It feels like I’m on the edge of a precipice, one that I find equally frightening and exhilarating. “I’m not against it,” I say at last. “I just need a few days to consider.”
“Okay. There’s time to figure everything out.”
There is, but there’s a lot to figure out. With a sigh, I decide this picture-perfect spot isn’t the place I want to do all that.
He lifts my hand from my thigh and kisses the inside of my wrist, sending tendrils of heat through me. Okay, there’s one thing I’ve got figured out. I want Liam in my bed tonight.