Chapter 21
TWENTY-ONE
Gabriel
“Disgustingly, Christmas is already here,” Liam announces.
Why it’s disgusting to him, I have no idea, but Liam is Liam. His body seems to reject the very idea of social gatherings.
“Man, I don’t know where this year went,” I say. “But I’m thrilled I get to spend another holiday with you. Even if you’re doing it reluctantly.”
“Very reluctantly,” he grumbles. “Why are we doing this again? Do we gain something by being miserable around other humans? Is it simply to feel better about ourselves when we compare ourselves to them?”
I nod as I park behind my mother’s car. We’re the first ones to arrive because I agreed to help her set up.
“Yes, that’s exactly why we have Christmas with my family.
To judge them. I promise, you don’t have to stay if you don’t want.
Just help me set up and then go chill at home, and I’ll be home a little after lunch, okay? ”
At my suggestion, Liam gives me a displeased look. Honestly, I thought he’d jump at the opportunity to run off. “You expect me to leave you here alone with these parasites?”
I raise an eyebrow, weirdly confused about who he’s referring to. “Parasites… as in my family?”
“What’s the name of the one who bullied you?” he asks. “Oh right… Tom. I’m afraid Tom might not make it today.”
“Why? Is he sick or…” I pause, realizing that it really wouldn’t be normal for Liam to know if Tom was sick. “What the fuck did you do to Tom?”
“Me? I’d never do anything to Tom,” he says with a smile before leaning in to kiss me. “It was just the first of your many gifts.”
I grab his face before he can accomplish the kiss. “Oh, no, no, no. Your first order of business is to tell me what you did to Tom.”
“It was really strange. I ran into Tom the other day at the grocery store. The moment he saw me, he hurt my feelings when he strutted up to me.”
“Your feelings got hurt? I’m pretty sure no one has ever hurt your feelings,” I say as he tries to hide his grin.
“Gabriel, don’t pretend my feelings don’t exist. So I ran into him, and I was like, ‘Tom! It’s so wonderful to see you!’ And I gushed about how nice it was to bump into him. And in exchange, he called me some very colorful words for my ‘stunt’ at Thanksgiving.”
“I would love to see a video of you saying ‘nice’ things. Could you repeat one of these nice things you said?” I ask.
“Anything for you. I was like, ‘Tom, I just… adore your clothes. They look so chic. I would love to know where you got them.’” Liam is actually doing a fantastic job keeping a straight face, as though any of this happened.
“I’m positive the words ‘adore’ and ‘chic’ have never been willingly used by you.”
“I adore you.”
“Unless talking about me. So tell me, how did your gentle words to him go? How did he respond?”
“Oddly not well! Can you believe that? He then said something about how you shouldn’t be such a wuss about the whole assembly thing.”
“Assembly? Did he seriously bring that up?” I ask in disbelief. Then again, Tom never could handle being the one getting bullied, so I’m sure what Liam did at Thanksgiving has royally pissed him off.
“He did…”
I really don’t want to even bring this up, but I know sharing it with Liam won’t be the end of the world.
“Fucking hell, that was just… that made my high school life a living hell. My family knew I was gay, but I didn’t let everyone at school know.
Like only my closest friends. There was this big assembly featuring the football players who were the popular kids, of course.
And there was one player who I had a crush on, but of course I was never going to tell him that.
Yet somehow Tom fucking found out. He was on the football team, and he had them all hold up signs like the guy I was crushing on was asking me to prom.
And it was so fucking mocking. Like the one guy started acting like he was fucking another one and everyone was laughing and just…
I refused to go to school for a week after that.
Tom’s parents didn’t even ground him, even though the school suspended him for the week.
My aunt and uncle actually bitched about it, saying he was just ‘goofing around,’ and I shouldn’t have taken it so seriously. ”
I don’t tell him the whole story. I feel like if I did, he’d go over and pound Tom’s face in.
I feel like I can still hear all of the student body laughing and looking at me.
And when I returned to school, all of the jocks kept pretending to ask me to prom in mocking ways while the students laughed.
Liam slowly nods. “See… I just… I have this condition where I can’t handle anyone saying or doing anything shitty to you.
And then I hear that Tom works as the face of his company.
Supposedly he interacts with extremely important people inside the company, including their shareholders.
But their biggest shareholder? A gay woman. ”
I hesitate as what he’s saying sinks in. “Liam… what did you do?”
“Being the good future cousin-in-law I am, I happened to run into him as he was leaving a very important meeting with this woman. And I just said one simple sentence to him.”
“Which was?” I ask.
“‘Your ass looks hot in those jeans,’” he says.
“Wow, you should have seen that man destroy his own life with what he started calling me and saying about me. It was magical, Gabriel. Magical. I should have recorded it for you. I really think you’d have enjoyed it.
And the whole time, I just said things like, ‘How does me being gay hurt you?’ and ‘How could you call your own cousin those horrible words; he couldn’t stop crying the last time he saw you! ’ I laid it on thick.”
Slowly, so very slowly, his words settle in my mind. “Please… I think I’ve gotten confused by some parts of this. Let’s start over… you… schemed up a way to get Tom fired?”
Liam grabs my face and pulls me in, his hazel eyes locking onto mine. “No one, and I mean fucking no one is going to hurt you and get away with it. I don’t fucking care if they didn’t leave a physical scar on you; I will destroy their fucking lives.”
I swallow hard as desire spikes inside of me.
His words are so possessive, and still… they do nothing but make me feel safe.
Make me feel happy. Make me feel wanted.
He could claim me, and right at this moment, I would hand myself over without hesitation.
How is it that this man who should terrify me makes me feel thrilled instead?
I lean into him, my lips parted, and I see the softest smile before he kisses me.
“Anything you ever need, I will give it to you, Gabriel. It doesn’t matter how wrong it is. I will give it to you.”
And I know he would. I could point at a person and ask for their life, and he’d hand it over without hesitation.
What is wrong with me to find nothing immoral about this? What happened that caused me to forget who I once was? Was it Tobias holding me in that dark room followed by the stench of blood and death? Those endless hours in the darkness wondering how my life would end?
I know Liam is changing me. The person I was five years ago would never have sat back and watched—or hell, actually helped—a man kill another.
And yet here I am, body aching for his touch, mind consumed by him. It’s as though when he says it, I see nothing wrong with the idea that he has to destroy Tom’s life.
“Why… why did you do all of that for me?” I ask.
“Because I love you. And there’s no fucking person who will ever hurt you if I get my way,” he says.
“He will regret it. And clearly, he’s learned nothing in over fifteen years.
He’s the same toxic human he was back then.
Your parents are very loving; why have they allowed him to stay in your life after all of that? ”
“I allowed it, not them. The year it happened, my mom stated that if my cousin was at any family event, we weren’t going.
It split the family apart, and so I just…
I caved. My grandma was really upset, and I ended up feeling like it was my fault the family was divided.
I just felt too guilty tearing the family apart when half of them were going, ‘It wasn’t that big of a deal. ’ I just… learned to put up with it.”
“You won’t have to put up with it anymore,” Liam assures me. “I made sure that Tom is well aware that if he mentions that I was involved, I will show his girlfriend the pictures of him cheating on her.”
“You… have pictures of Tom cheating on her?” I ask, interest more than a little piqued.
An opportunity to destroy the happy life of my bully?
Sign me right up. Being kind to someone like him doesn’t seem to be a requirement.
I’ve put up with it for all of these years…
why should I always be the one to turn away?
“Do you want them?” he asks with a smile. “If you want to send them to her, I will happily hand them over.”
The idea of ruining this man’s life for humiliating me is so fucking tempting. It’s not like the stunt he pulled back then was the only thing he did to me. He was an asshole. He was a miserable fucking human, and the idea of ruining his love life…
“Send them to me.”
Liam looks thrilled. “Oh? Are you sure? It could get back to your family that you did it.”
“I don’t care,” I say. “Send them to me.”
The pictures arrive on my phone and I’m almost giddy when I text my mother for Tom’s girlfriend’s number since I don’t have it myself. She asks why but sends it anyway. I fill up the text message with pictures and realize that there’s not even a smidgen of guilt that hits me.
I press send without hesitation and look up to catch Liam’s eyes.
“Was that a bad thing?”
“I don’t believe you could ever do anything truly bad,” he says with a grin as he leans in to kiss me. “You can do no wrong.”
“Eh… You’re the only one who thinks that,” I reply, but I kiss him again. There’s something so thrilling about doing something a little bit bad.