4. Chapter 4 - Madison
His words, that breathtaking tattoo , the sincerity in his eyes. Even the way he kissed me…As if the world was ending and there was no tomorrow.
It has me questioning everything .
Every word I ever told myself about why I left. All the reasons I couldn’t possibly forgive him. And not only leaving him but completely cutting Liam and Killian off as well. I didn’t like who I was becoming, but look at me now. Afraid of a damn scorpion when I have faced death in the face one too many times. There is no question that I was stronger around them. Even with all the looming threats.
Simplicity and naivety is what I longed for. But other than working my shift at the local coffee shop, taking my frustrations out at the gym, or enjoying a night out with my favorite neighbors, it felt all so lonely and mundane.
And that felt more like a cage than ever being around Diego or the Kennedys.
It started to become clear that what I was craving might have been a bit more wild and a little less traditional.
I didn’t want a lazy river.
I wanted the whole damn ocean, chaotic and unpredictable .
Thanks to Lexi, I was able to figure my shit out while living with her—well, sort of . God totally granted me an extra sister when we became friends. That’s for damn sure.
Last year, the night of the New Year’s Eve gala, she didn’t even bat an eye when I told her I needed an escape plan. She simply handed me her keys and told me to stay for as long as I wanted.
It was fucking amazing the first few months. We got to spend time catching up and having girl nights. We went out drinking with Simon and John, coming home drunk off our asses and eating all our favorite snack combinations while watching trash reality TV. Our Thursdays always consisted of homemade pizza, wine, and The Vampire Diaries.
Carefree, genuine, fun.
Over time, those nights became less and less frequent. Her studies and clinicals for PA school started getting more intense, which occupied a lot of her time. If she had a spare minute, she was either at the gym or seeing Conor. Which I totally understood. He’s an amazing guy and truly makes her happy, always trying his best to make his way out to her every few weeks. Usually staying for the weekend.
Lexi and Conor swore they would keep my whereabouts and activity to themselves, not sharing it with Liam or Killian. I was the one who couldn’t keep Con in that position. He is viciously loyal to the Kennedy brothers, especially Liam. It wouldn’t be fair for him to lie for me.
About a month or so later, on a drunken emotional night of sitting around the coffee table drinking tequila, I told him it would be alright if he let Liam know where I was.
He obviously did.
Yet, I must give props to Liam—he respected my wishes and never once reached out. Never sent me anything. Maybe it’s due to the fact he gets tidbits of information from Conor.
Lexi’s man may claim he isn’t my bodyguard any longer, but there is a silent understanding between us. He most definitely relays my day to day back to Liam—at least while he’s here. As much as that’s frustrating, at the very least it's comforting, knowing Con would never let any harm come my way while he’s around.
Conor, trying to gain back a level of trust and respect, recently let me in on a little information. Information I would have been better off not hearing at all.
Christmas Day to be specific.
I had stayed in Arizona, not ready to see my family and have to finally discuss my ridiculous life.
As far as they knew, Killian and I spent some time in Greece before traveling more of Europe. We both realized we weren’t as compatible as we had once thought and ended things on New Year’s Eve. Lexi offered me a place to live and I decided a fresh start was in order.
Mom is under the impression I accepted a nursing job there—little does she know I am a barista at the local coffee shop.
I actually prefer it that way.
It brings me so much joy being able to socialize with my customers and get to know them. Plus, the unlimited free coffee—that’s always a perk. Yes, that was a stupid coffee pun.
After a few months, I befriended a few of the regulars, becoming an active participant in their juicy gossip. I tried my hand at baking, which is a work in progress. My thirst for knowledge even led me to researching the different regions coffee is grown, including the different types of rich soil it requires to prosper.
The new experience continued to inspire me, encouraging me to venture out and take a few baking classes. Which was actually ridiculously fun. Especially when you get to eat your treats after .
My mind has started to conjure up ways to open up my own shop one day. It’s what has kept my mind off of Diego and Liam. Well, the majority of the day. Night comes rolling around and it’s a whole different story. Majority of the time they are sleepless and contain a few good cry sessions.
Anyways…we were all celebrating at Simon and John’s, baking Christmas cookies and drinking Prosecco. Which was followed up with some really good whiskey Conor had brought. Killian granted him a few days to spend with Lexi for the holidays. Being the ever doting boyfriend, he even joined us in wearing an ugly sweater—it was absolutely hysterical.
So as we were rolling out the dough, and drinking our whiskey on the rocks, he tells us the story of the time Lainey and Liam got into a flour fight while baking Christmas cookies. Apparently, flour was all over the kitchen and each other. Both of them spent the remainder of the night cleaning it up. That part I handled…well… ish …even though jealousy worked its ugly serum into my veins.
He proceeds to spill the beans that Kieran had just sent him a picture of them reenacting that said flour fight. Of course, being the divas and shit stirrers they are, Simon and John beg to see the picture. Conor is halfway through the bottle of whiskey at this point, so he willingly shows everyone his phone. I told myself not to look.
But you should know me by now, right? Of course I did.
Liam has his arms wrapped around Lainey—who kept her dark locks of hair— in case you were wondering. Flour is coated all over their faces and lashes. Liam is sporting the biggest smile. Lainey is organically laughing with her hand cradling Liam’s face and a palm full of flour in the other. Killian, Selena, and the rest of the guys are in the background with looks of laughter and tears in their eyes.
I ended up smiling and laughing at the picture along with everyone else in the room. Lexi shot me a sympathetic look before I excused myself to the restroom. And that pretty much summed up my Christmas. All I could think of before bed was if Liam was happy. And if he was, then I wanted him to be. He didn’t deserve for me to have ended things the way I did.
I was so ready to give us another shot… that is… before Diego rose from the dead. And then I just threw his heart on the ground at the airport drop off. Even after all he did for me and how patient he was during my period of grief.
Grief over another man.
Another man that’s my husband.
My husband that wasn’t in fact dead.
He deserves better. So much better.
Relishing that last sip of my second coffee, I glance out the window. The New York lights are twinkling up at me from below.
We must be close.
Earlier, after being tongue-tied, I left Diego standing in the bedroom with the excuse that I needed to call my mom. Which, I did .
But it was his closeness, his pouring his heart and soul out to me that had me running. He remained back there for the majority of the flight, watching TV. I couldn’t bring myself to join him. Too nervous to lie next to him on that bed.
Maybe he fell asleep? Just as I consider checking on him, the bathroom door clicks shut and the shower turns on alerting me he’s up.
I guess he’s getting ready for the gala tonight. I wonder if he had a date prior to my untimely arrival? Maybe she’s waiting for him now.
The flight lands around 7:00 PM. It feels like so much time has passed–considering the three-hour time difference. Mom let me know that Dad had just gone in for surgery. They moved him up from his original scheduled time at 8:30 PM. Diego managed to take his seat only a few minutes before we landed looking refreshed and smelling divine. He hasn’t said anything to me since our little show-and-tell moment in the bedroom.
With haste, I grab my bag from Amy and sling it over my shoulder, quickly thanking her and descending the stairs. Diego reaches out and snags the strap, pulling me backward into his chest.
“Give me this. And stop rushing. I don’t need you falling down these stairs and breaking your goddamn neck,” he practically growls, before slinging my bag over his shoulder and lacing our hands together.
I chance a look at him, but can’t decide what’s going on in that brain of his. Black sunglasses shield his beautiful eyes from me. Seems he’s still keeping a low profile— at least for now.
He steps in front of me, guiding us down the remaining stairs. When we reach the bottom, a blacked-out Escalade pulls up. The door opens and my heart drops into my stomach. Liam, in all his masculine glory, jumps out of the passenger seat and jogs over to us.
He has on his signature leather jacket, black jeans, and a black v-neck. His beard is just as scruffy as it was in the Christmas cookie picture. The dark strands of his hair are all messy and disheveled…most likely from running his hands through it one too many times. He’s even filled out more—looking broader and more defined, if possible.
I wonder if Liam and Diego have been hitting the gym together? Wouldn’t that be a sight to see.
Diego releases my hand and steps forward to clasp Liam’s, pulling him into a back-slapping hug. If my mouth wasn’t already hanging open, it is now. What the actual fuck is this bromance? Liam returns the sentiment, slapping his back in exchange, except his eyes are glued to mine.
Butterflies assault my stomach, the intensity of their swarm making me dizzy. It’s probably just my ears popping and my body regaining a sense of equilibrium. Riiight, Maddy. That’s exactly it.
“I told you my jet is superior,” Diego taunts sarcastically.
My eyes roll at their banter. Or I think they did . It’s hard to tell if I am still in shock or not. Liam pulls back from Diego, shooting him a playful sneer. He takes a step my way, but before he can get anywhere near me, The Bone Breaker shoves my overnight bag into Liam’s chest.
“Be a good lad and take my wife’s luggage. We are in a hurry,” he demands in the worst attempt at an Irish accent I have ever heard.
Liam flinches but recovers so quickly, I almost miss it. “Fuck you. Next time you get shot twice and are bleeding out on a yacht that is about to blow up, I won’t be there to help.”
“I don’t plan on having history repeat itself, asshole,” Diego says cryptically.
Liam slings my bag over his shoulder, turns on his boot, and walks us to the car. Diego places a hand on my lower back but I increase my pace, forcing him to drop it. As Liam is placing my bag in the trunk, Diego opens the back door, gesturing for me to get inside. Even going as far as to bow. Fucker . He only did that because I denied him the ability to keep touching me.
Heat builds inside me, replacing my haze of confusion with anger. I spin around as he cages me in, one arm resting above me and the other against the door of the SUV.
“You know, I didn’t come here for this. I’m here to see my dad, not here to play games,” I whisper-shout.
He hesitates a second before picking me up like a child and placing me in the middle seat of the Cadillac. Leaning over, he grabs the buckle, gliding his hands over my thighs and buckling me in.
“Let’s get you to him then, Mariposita .”
His muscular frame slides in next to me, slamming the door shut. Liam hops in the passenger seat as Kieran turns around in the driver seat.
“Hey there, love. Long time no see.” He chuckles before turning his attention to the road.
“Hey ya big bastard. I see you haven’t changed a bit.” I laugh, despite my irritation with the two other men in this car.
Liam still hasn’t acknowledged me.
Music replaces the awkward silence as we make our way towards the hospital.
As we approach the front entrance, my phone vibrates with a text message from my sister Mikayla.
Mik
Are you almost here? I’m outside smoking a cigarette. I’ll wait for you to go up.
Fuck. I don’t need her seeing Liam or Diego–it’s not like she knows who Diego is… but I don’t need him running his mouth about us being married—or any other detail he may be inclined to share. Kieran pulls up to the entrance and I spot my sister right outside. Thank God for tinted windows.
“Nobody get out of the car,” I announce frantically. “I don’t need my sister asking questions.”
Liam chuckles before speaking. “She is quite the investigator. She’ll without a doubt know something is up if I get out of the car. I planned on coming in with you, is that not alright?”
My hands grow clammy. I slide them over my leggings to absorb the moisture.
“No, that’s okay. I appreciate that, really, but I think it’ll be best if I go spend some alone time with my family.” It’s hard to ignore the shakiness in my voice. Damn these men .
Diego stirs next to me, seemingly annoyed at my request. “I’m your husband . I can be there with you.”
I turn to look at him while unbuckling my seatbelt. “Please, can we drop the husband act for now? I need to get to my dad, and I need to digest the fact that not only am I back in New York, but I am back here with all of you.”
This time both Diego and Liam flinch as if I slapped them. Diego purses his lips like he wants to say something, but stops himself. I slide over the bench and pull the door handle but it doesn’t open. Trying again, I get the same response.
“Oh shite, we had little Kian in the car the other day and put the child lock on. I can get out and get ya,” Kieran offers.
“No!” I shout, knowing my sister has a keen eye and will remember him from the club and my graduation dinner. “Just pop the trunk, I’ll grab my bag.”
I scramble back down the bench and awkwardly straddle-climb over Diego. Our noses practically touch at how close we are. The sunglasses he was wearing now rest on top of his head. Those sapphire eyes of his flash with a fresh round of lust before dulling out. Sturdy hands come up around my waist, giving me a gentle squeeze before he opens the door.
“Your father will pull through, Mariposita .”
My emotions climb higher as I clamber out of the SUV.
This is all too much.
Just before closing the door, Diego adds in his final two cents. “Tell the surgeon I said hi.” He shoots me an antagonizing wink. The desire to smack that look off his face has my hands trembling.
Opting for a less violent approach, I slam the door in his face and flip him off for good measure. Liam rolls his window down, biting back a cackle. Luckily, the car and fully tinted windows shield my sister’s view of us.
“Hey, do ya have a place to stay after? I’m sure your family got a hotel room. But if they don’t, call me, I’ll come grab ya. You can stay with us if you want… no pressure or anything. I know you weren’t planning on coming back.” He smiles sweetly at me but his eyes hold a touch of sadness.
Maybe even regret.
“Thank you. I’m sure that won’t be necessary… I’ve got to go. Thanks again!” I wave before walking to the open trunk to collect my bag.
Mikayla spots me and starts walking my way. I scramble to shut the trunk and meet her halfway, pulling her into a tight hug.
“I’ve missed you,” she sighs, rocking me back and forth.
“I’ve missed you, Mik. Jeez, it’s been too long.”