Chapter 6 #2
The bitter pang of jealousy blooms inside my chest because I’ve never felt that way about the Order—or, more precisely, them about me.
Yeah, sure, the Order is my whole life. But I’m not theirs.
They never fully accepted me, despite my efforts to prove myself.
When I joined the Order at sixteen, my half-blood made me an outcast, and I faced relentless bullying.
Now, everyone mostly pretends I don’t exist.
Emily slides the three filled glasses toward us before taking a seat on the other side of Ava. “So, how did you and Kaiden meet?” she asks me.
“I was on hellseeker duty, and these demons I’ve never seen before attacked me near Shadow Lake in the national park. Kaiden saved me. I actually woke up here and spin-kicked him in the face when I realized he was an Elite demon,” I chuckle out.
“You spin kicked Kaiden? IN THE FACE?” Ava squeaks in a high-pitched tone, her eyes bugging out of her head as she looks at me over the rim of her glass.
“You should have seen her at Sin Saturday night. She threw a whole bottle of water at him. I was laughing so hard, I thought my spleen would rupture,” Emily says.
Ava’s jaw is on the floor. “No mames! Are we talking about the same Kaiden? The one I know? But, he’s so damn serious all the time and has that whole don’t-fuck-with-me vibe.” She shudders.
I shrug and take a sip from the martini glass. “Well, he deserved it. He was being an ass.” I turn to Emily. “This is amazing.”
She winks at me and raises the glass in the air in a salute before taking a sip. “Since you’re a hellseeker, aren’t you supposed to have light hair? Because of the blessed blood?”
“I’m a half-blood. The only one in the Order; that’s why my hair is dark.” My eyebrows knit. “And it’s actually forbidden for us to interact in any way. You do know about that, right?”
Ava rolls her eyes mid-sip. “Pfft, it’s a stupid, archaic rule. If Kaiden doesn’t care about it, why should we? Soooo, what’s up with you two? Don’t skip any juicy details. We want them all.”
I roll the slender glass stem between my fingers as I hike a shoulder.
“It’s complicated.” I sigh. “I don’t know what’s between us.
We’ve never discussed it, and there can’t be a future for us anyway.
He’s only helping me while we figure out some things, and after that, we’ll part ways.
” The words burn through me like acid, but they’re the truth, even though I know I’ve fallen for him.
“I’m not so sure Kaiden thinks the same. I have never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you.” Emily throws me a pointed look.
I remember the way the bitch Maeve planted herself in his lap at Sin. I can’t resist asking, “Not even Maeve?”
“Are you kidding?” Emily huffs. “Kaiden has never given her the time of day. She’s always desperate for his attention, but he mostly ignores her.
Besides, she’s a raging cunt to everyone.
She’s lucky she’s such a skilled dancer.
Otherwise, Kaiden would have fired her already and sent her back to Hell. ”
“Well, I hope you guys figure it out,” Ava chimes in. “We need more women in our group, and I would love it if you became a permanent fixture. You’re nothing like I thought you would be.”
The corners of my lips turn up. “Oh yeah, what did you think I would be like?”
“Um, you know, a shrew,” she chuckles out. “Let’s just say hellseekers don’t have the best reputation among our kind.”
“I can only imagine.” Five hundred years ago, during the demonic plague, the fight against demons became too bloody.
The archangels restored the balance of good and evil by closing all twelve Hell gates around the world and imposing the Celestial Treaty.
Before Lucifer signed the Treaty and the Obsidian Conclave took jurisdiction, hellseekers also hunted dark creatures alongside demons.
Now, even though a truce exists, there has always been mutual hatred between hellseekers and dark creatures.
It’s hard to admit, but the hellseekers’ superiority complex is the main reason for the existing dissension.
The next two hours fly by. Emily tells us all about Hailey—the wolf shifter from the Iron Claw pack she’s been dating—while Ava reminisces about the time she spent in Paris at the prestigious pastry school and all the places she and Logan visited in Europe.
When it’s time to go, both of them hug me and tell me they had a great time, and that they hope we’ll see each other again.
What surprises me most is that I had a great time, too. I can’t believe two dark creatures treated me better than the Order’s members have since I first stepped foot at the compound seven years ago. These women—whom I barely know—acted as though we’d been friends for years.
Not long after Emily and Ava left, feeling restless and bored out of my mind, I decided to at least get a workout in.
Carter joined me at Kaiden’s private state-of-the-art gym two floors below.
However, I could only do a basic stretching routine because my ribs kept sending jolts of fiery throbs throughout my body at the slightest effort.
Frustrated, I stormed back to the penthouse, took a shower, and got ready for bed.
Nothing I tried to fall asleep has worked, though.
I swear I even counted sheep. I keep tossing and turning, my body getting tangled in the silky black sheets.
I bring them to my nose to inhale Kaiden’s intoxicating scent, but it only intensifies the ache beneath my solar plexus that made its presence known the second he popped off.
Ugh, when the fuck did I become a simpering fool? Get a grip, Iris. It’s been only two days.
Fuck this. Clearly, I’m not used to being in bed at this hour since my hellseeker shifts usually end right before sunrise.
I don’t even know why I tried. Heaving out a sigh, I push myself up and stride out of the bedroom—not before picking up my mother’s journal, trying to open it, failing, and putting it back on the nightstand…
again. Every single time I’ve tried to read even one sentence, guilt has shackled my lungs until I was on the verge of a full-blown panic attack.
Guilt that I survived when she didn’t, piled on top of the fact that, before a few weeks ago, I couldn’t even remember her face.
It’s a tar-like stain, permanently marring my soul.
Maybe it’s time I finally visit my mother’s grave after all these years and try to read it there.
I had intended to put a movie on, but now that I’m out in the hallway, curiosity gets the best of me, so I open the first door to my right.
Blinking a few times, I take in the dark room.
It’s a library decorated in deep navy hues—vastly different from the modern décor of the rest of the penthouse.
Silvery moonlight bathes the bookshelves, which are crammed full of books and cover the entirety of the walls.
A vintage brass chandelier towers over the brown leather couch and the two armchairs that form a cozy reading nook in front of the fireplace in the center of the room.
I don’t know how I can tell that the huge canvas above the fireplace, depicting the same regretful angel bowing on one knee that Kaiden has tattooed on his back, is the real one—and the other in his office at Sin is only a copy—but I do.
Like every other time I’ve seen the image, my heartstrings turn into knots.
It somehow feels worse now. Ominous. So I shut the door and get out.
When I open the second door, I stumble into Kaiden’s office. Here, the colors match the rest of the penthouse. The city lights sparkle through the floor-to-ceiling windows at the back of the room.
Prompted by my curiosity, I sit down in the executive chair behind the desk.
There’s a squeaky sound as my naked thighs stick to the cold leather.
I spin the chair, trying to imagine Kaiden doing the same.
A laugh bubbles out of me because he would never do something so childish.
My elbow hits something, and as I whip my head around, the tower of files on the desk tumbles to the floor.
Shit.
I stand and kneel to gather the pages scattered across the hardwood floor.
I don’t mean to snoop more than I already have, but the photos of children and the word “missing” stamped above them in bold, red letters snag my attention.
Kaiden never mentioned anything about missing children.
Wait. Why would he have missing children reports? Unless they’re dark creatures.
My suspicion is confirmed as I start reading through them: wolf shifters, light and dark witches, sirens, warlocks, fae, selkies.
Even rare shifters like panthers and ravens.
There are also some vampires among the kidnappings, but they’re all adults.
Maybe it’s because vampires can’t have children, and turning a child is strictly forbidden—not only because that’s horrible but also because children lack impulse control when it comes to blood.
It seems like the kidnappings have increased in number over the years, but in the last two and a half months, they’re at an all-time high.
That’s weird. I wonder why that is…I need to ask Kaiden about this when he returns.
There has to be something I can do to help.
I pile them in a neat stack before placing them back on the desk.
Something catches my eye on the computer screen that is now turned on.
I don’t mean to keep snooping, I really don’t, but Kaiden probably forgot to shut down his computer, and I must have moved the mouse when I hit the files, causing the display to wake and show Kaiden’s email inbox.
What the?