Chapter 7
Ronan
I wasn’t sure what it was that woke me up, but it took me only seconds to realize that I was alone in bed and I automatically sat up and scanned the large bedroom.
Seth had made a habit of leaving the light on in the bathroom each night so we could acclimate to finding our way around our new bedroom, so it was easy to see that the room was empty.
I got out of bed and pushed the bathroom door open a little bit just to make sure he wasn’t in there and then started for the bedroom door when I felt a cool rush of air wash over me.
A glance to my left showed that the balcony doors were slightly open.
I ignored the fact that I was wearing only a pair of briefs and went to the doors and opened them.
I found Seth sitting on the ground, his back to the wall and a blanket wrapped around his body.
His head was on his knees and Bullet was lying along one side of him with his big head buried in Seth’s lap.
“Seth,” I said softly as I crouched down next him and ran my fingers through his hair.
Seth inhaled sharply and lifted his head. There was enough light from the full moon to see the tears streaking down his face. “I’m sorry, Ronan,” he whispered .
“For what, baby?” I asked as I dropped down next to him and pulled his upper body against my chest.
Seth shook his head and I just held him until he seemed to relax against me. “Come inside, Seth. It’s too cold out here,” I said. I put my arm beneath his elbow to help him, but he resisted.
“Please Ronan, I just need a few more minutes…the fresh air helps.”
I nodded. “Okay, scoot forward a little.”
He did as I said and I got behind him and sat down and then pulled him back against my chest. It took us a minute to get the blanket wrapped around us and then I slung my arms around his upper body and just held him.
After a few minutes, I dropped my mouth to his ear and said, “What happened, baby? We had a good day today, didn’t we? ”
Seth nodded, but he didn’t answer right away.
I thought back to the events of the day and tried to figure out if I’d missed something.
It had been nearly three weeks since Seth had come to me about fostering the kids and we’d been in overdrive ever since.
We’d moved into the house we’d looked at in Queen Anne a few days earlier and the Children’s Protective Services social worker had been by the previous day to inspect it and had been pleased with the house itself as well as the neighborhood.
Seth and I had completed the entire application process and required training and were just waiting for the call to see if we’d been approved or not.
In addition to the training and endless paperwork we’d submitted, Seth and I had been spending a lot of time with both kids who Zane had been calling Jennie and Johnny Doe until their real names could be determined.
All our visits had been supervised and had pretty much gone the same until today.
Whereas the boy and girl had mostly ignored us during previous visits, Seth had managed to break down a big barrier today.
All our visits had taken place in a small play room full of toys, games and art supplies.
The kids had spent each visit sitting quietly in one corner playing with building blocks or Legos…
well, the little boy had played while the girl had kept her eyes on us the whole time.
Seth and I had usually ended up sitting on the floor near th em, but out of arm’s reach, since any closer made the girl nervous and she’d refuse to release her hold on the boy to even let him play.
The social workers and psychologists had seemed torn about how to break down the walls with the kids when Seth had suggested we try bringing Bullet to the session since the boy had shown interest in the dog’s pictures on Seth’s phone.
They’d initially resisted since the dog technically wasn’t allowed on the property and they weren’t sure of the kids’ reactions, but they’d finally relented.
Bullet had been a champ from the moment we’d walked through the door.
The kids had been frightened at first so we’d sat on the opposite side of the room with Bullet and had just talked quietly to ourselves, keeping our backs to both kids.
There’d been a mirror on one wall that was actually a two-way mirror and we’d used the reflection to keep an eye on the kids and Bullet.
Once Seth had casually dropped Bullet’s leash, the animal had started to work his way towards both children.
But the dog had clearly sensed their apprehension because he’d taken his time dragging his body across the floor until he’d been within a few feet of them.
When the little boy had gotten up and fought off his sister’s hold to approach Bullet, Seth and I had held our breaths and we hadn’t released it until the child had plopped down in front of the dog and started to run his hands over Bullet’s face.
Seth had carefully gotten up to join them both and miraculously, the boy hadn’t moved.
In fact, he’d clung to Bullet as if Seth was going to take him away.
The little girl had tried to force her brother back and we’d all been stunned to hear her call out what we now guessed was the little boy’s name.
Jamie.
The way the girl had said it had been confirmation that she was either partially or profoundly deaf.
She’d followed up with frantic hand gestures that neither Seth nor I had understood despite the private sign language classes we’d signed up for.
We’d learned later from one of the therapists watching the session that the girl had been telling the boy it wasn’t safe.
Jamie had signed back to his sister, though the therapist hadn’t been able to catch what he’d said.
And then his focus had been on Bullet…and Seth.
The girl had settled and watched the pair in silence from the corner.
Seth had started showing Jamie some of Bullet’s tricks and had even started teaching Jamie a few of the commands.
And while Jamie hadn’t spoken the commands, he’d quickly learned the hand gestures that went along with them.
By the end of the hour, Jamie had been sitting in Seth’s lap happily playing with the dog.
And Seth had never looked happier.
“I didn’t want to leave them there,” Seth finally admitted. “What if…what if we aren’t approved?”
“We will be,” I assured him. “Zane said we were excellent candidates and his recommendation holds a lot of weight.”
Seth nodded.
“That’s not all that’s bothering you, is it?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I miss them so much, Ronan.”
I instinctively knew he wasn’t talking about the kids. “Your parents?” I asked.
He nodded. “They would have made the best grandparents,” he whispered. “And Trace…”
My own throat closed up with emotion. I never gave thought to what would have happened with Seth and me if Trace were still alive because it didn’t serve a purpose.
But no matter how things would have ended up if Trace’s life hadn’t been stolen from him, Seth would have someday had kids who would have looked up to their uncle and were doted on by their grandparents.
“They’re watching us right now, Seth. And I know how proud of you they are…
of the man you’ve become and the father you’re going to be.
” I dropped my lips to the back of Seth’s neck and kissed him softly before settling my chin on his shoulder.
“They’re going to be our kids, Seth, whether it’s for a few weeks until we find their family or it’s for a lifetime because we’re going to become their family.
We’re going to give Jamie and his sister the childhood you should have had…
that we both should have had. We might not be able to give them grandparents, but we can give them a shitload of overprotective uncles. ”
Seth laughed and then he was turning in my arms. His arms went around my neck and he pressed his face against my neck. “I love you so much, Ronan. ”
“Me too, baby,” I whispered. “Are you ready to go inside?”
Seth nodded and we climbed to our feet. He took my hand in his and led me back into the bedroom.
I closed the balcony door behind Bullet, but before I could lead Seth back to bed, he was turning around and pulling me down for a kiss.
His tongue stole hungrily into my mouth and I could feel his desperation rolling off of him in waves. But he wasn’t just desperate for me.
I put my hands on each side of his face to hold him still so I could see his eyes. “Take what you need, baby.”
The fact that a tear slipped from his eye told me his emotions were still right along the surface.
He nodded and then he took my hand in his again.
But instead of leading me to the bed, he urged me to an oversized plush armchair in the corner of the room.
I sat and watched as Seth went to the bed to grab the lube from the nightstand.
He was wearing a pair of thin pajama bottoms which he stripped off when he reached me.
I would have expected him to be the one to fuck me, but when he coated his finger with lube and started prepping himself, I knew he needed something more.
And he couldn’t hold out long enough for me to get him ready the way I usually did.