Chapter 9 Archangel
NINE
ARCHANGEL
Wolfe is actually being serious right now, and I don’t know if I can handle it.
I suck in a breath, trying to find a single ounce of composure.
Or like some fucking dignity that doesn’t exist. Because I should be telling him no, with the way I feel, and what I know this will do to me, but I can’t bring myself to say it.
Even if I’m going to suffer later, I want to know what it’s like to kiss him.
“Are you starting or am I?” he says like it’s nothing.
“You’re the one who asked,” I hedge, needing another drink. I’m intoxicated but not drunk enough to not overthink this.
“But you’ve done it before.”
“Don’t try to act like you’ve never kissed anyone. I’ve seen you make out with tons of girls.” Is he playing a game? I need to get out of my fucking head.
“I’ve never kissed a guy. How would I know if it’s different?” He smiles so sweetly, putting on this innocent act he does all the time.
I love and hate him for it.
“You just said people are the same!”
“But does it start the same?” Wolfe’s drunk logic is tying itself in knots, and I don’t know if that’s good or bad.
“It’s the same. Now a blow job is a whole different story.” I wink, giving him back some of what he’s dishing out to even the playing field. If he’s going to make me uncomfortable, what other way can I fight him?
“One step at a time.”
“Can’t handle it?” I tease, standing up to get more on his level.
“Maybe I want to enjoy each step for what it is.” Wolfe’s words send a shiver down my spine.
“What are you saying?”
He puts his fingers against my lips. “Close your mouth for one fucking minute so I can kiss you.”
I swallow and resist the urge to say anything back.
“Look at you listening for once. I’m going to abuse this.”
My lip lifts in a growl. “You better fucking not.”
“If this is the same, then you’re saying I should just grab you by the throat and kiss you like I would a woman?”
Fuck.
Why is he like this?
“Yes,” I barely manage , and now I’m rock fucking hard. Great. He’ll know as soon as he gets close thanks to these short-ass swim trunks.
“Good to know.” He gets out of the hot tub, leaving me hanging.
I stand there, mouth agape. “What the fuck?”
“I’m not going to do it while you’re expecting it if I have to initiate.” Wolfe grabs a towel, dragging it over his chest.
Can I even act upset?
Talk about a blue ball tease.
He looks at me expectantly, but I don’t say anything, turning my back to him to get out the other side of the hot tub so he doesn’t see my hard-on.
I dry off and find him still watching, but I pretend not to notice, focusing on getting my dick to cooperate.
It almost feels like we’re playing chicken. Does he want me to admit I want him to kiss me?
“What do you want to do?” I sway a little, realizing how drunk I am now that I’m on my feet.
His dark eyes meet mine, and he puts his massive hand at the base of my throat while his other grabs my jaw, dragging me to him. But it’s not aggressive. It’s soft and intimate before he’s even kissed me.
His lips barely brush mine.
I want more, and I’m worried that’s all he’ll do. Like we’re true chaste catholic boys.
But he doesn’t stop there. His lips part over mine, barely, and I taste a hint of the vodka we’ve been drinking.
His hand slides around to the back of my head, and he deepens the kiss, skimming his tongue between my lips.
I part for him, opening more than I ever should let myself.
He tastes of cherries, Dr. Pepper, and laughter.
It’s not slow for long. He invades every part of me, and I shouldn’t be surprised. Wolfe takes over everything always. It’s impossible not to let him. He’s demanding and all-consuming, and then he softens, stroking and luring me to him while his grip on me remains as hard as my dick.
His thumb strokes down my throat, reminding me his hands are on me too. Fire erupts every place he touches, licking over my skin. He’s the best kisser I’ve experienced. He’s impossible to fight, so I give into him, letting him lead.
No wonder every woman in Manhattan wants him. It’s not right for him to be so hot, talented, and amazing in bed. If he’s this good with his tongue in my mouth—I stop the thought in its tracks.
I grab onto him, needing to steady myself as I get lightheaded. He groans into my mouth, and I feel like a teenager again. I’ve never been so turned on. If he touched my cock, I’d probably come instantly.
By the time we break, he’s delicate, barely there, slipping another soft brush against my lips.
Then he’s gone. He releases me, and I’m left reeling with the best kiss I’ve ever experienced and the guy standing right in front of me that I can’t have.
“Fuck.”
“Does that mean I did okay?” He’s so smug, and I wish I didn’t find it as hot as I do because it makes me want him that much more.
“You’re fucking great in the kissing department,” I murmur, still dazed and barely thinking straight. “I don’t think anyone will doubt it.”
“It felt pretty solid. Maybe I can do better….”
“Hmm?” I close my eyes, trying to focus on anything but wanting to kiss him again. “Umm. You might have to do it a few more times so I can get used to it, or I might give us away.”
“You do look a little…stunned.” He waves a hand in front of my face.
I nod, not even bothering to try playing it off. “Stunned is a good word for it.”
“You really need to find better people to kiss if that one took you out. I don’t even do it that much.”
“You must be right.” Because I’ve never been kissed like that in my entire fucking life. When my best friend gives me more passion in a fake kiss than a guy who’s into me, what does that say about the guys I’ve been seeing?
“I told you those guys don’t deserve you.”
“Well, those girls don’t deserve you,” I counter, shaking my head to clear it.
“That’s the point. I can’t fall for one again.” Wolfe’s words hit me in the heart, but he doesn’t stay to talk them out. “Let’s go get dressed and put on a movie or something until we fall asleep.”
Before I can reply, he saunters off down the stairs, and I have to remind myself how to use my legs to follow.
We go to our respective rooms, and I press my back to the door, still trying to breathe. I slide my hands into my shorts, gripping my cock. My hard-on throbs.
I need to get off.
But my hand stills. I don’t want to. I want him to, but more than that, I want to keep the level of intensity because right now it feels like I’m floating.
How can I face him, wanting him like this?
Steph is right. He’s going to meet a girl one day, and how do I move on? Not even to save face. Getting a taste of what I’ve always wanted will poison the rest. I’ve been lucky to have his intensity focused on me for the last three years, but it will turn away, right?
He’s waiting on the sofa when I walk out, arm stretched over the back.
“What do you want to watch?”
“There’s got to be a movie or something on.” I sit on the opposite end of the couch.
“What the fuck?” Wolfe shouts, startling me.
“What?” I ask, coming out of my kiss stupor a little.
“I kiss you once, and you sit on Mars?” He stares in disbelief.
“Huh?” Had I missed something?
“You’ve never sat that far away, not even when we’re around a bunch of hockey douche bros. You’re okay with them calling you gay but not being near me?” Wolfe is actually upset.
“I umm… I didn’t…” How do I even respond to that? “I’m sorry. That’s not how I want you to feel.”
“Then why’d you sit over there?” he asks pointedly.
“I thought you’d want some space, I guess.”
“Did I ask for space?” He crosses his massive arms over his chest. “I’m great at communication.”
Bastard. But he’s right.
I scoot closer. “I guess you didn’t.”
He glares at me for another second, then turns his attention back to the TV. “If it’s awkward for you, I won’t kiss you again. We can make it work tomorrow without it.” His words are so pointed, I’m instantly defensive.
“No!” I’m a little too eager, and I tone it down to continue. “I don’t think it was awkward. Did you?”
“I didn’t until you sat over there.”
“Don’t be pissy. Please. I don’t want things to be weird between us. That’s the last thing I need. You’re my best friend.” I hold my breath because if I ruined everything over a kiss, I’ll never forgive myself.
He finally turns on me. “Okay.”
“You’re not mad?”
He pushes to his feet. “Maybe we should just go to bed.”
“Wait.” I jump to my feet, determined not to let him leave like this.