Chapter 18 Wolfe
EIGHTEEN
WOLFE
I’m not sure when I went from annoyed to pissed, but it was somewhere on the DC trip.
I don’t know how to fix things with Angel, and he doesn’t seem to care enough to.
I’m not even sure if he’s avoiding me or if I’m avoiding him.
How can the most important person in the world to me feel like he’s slipping through my fingers?
I badly need to talk to him but can’t seem to find a minute he’s free.
Thanksgiving with my dad was a fucking disaster, and it feels like I’m holding everything in and the pressure is building.
It’s silent the entire way back to our place.
No one says a word. Which means whatever Seaborn and Archangel were talking about on the plane is something they don’t want me to be a part of.
I grumble and go right to my room and close the door when we get back to our place. I can’t handle any more rejection.
Whispering voices head to Seaborn’s room. I pick up my phone, opening the group chat, about to ask who’s going out tonight, but with practice in the morning, I shouldn’t be encouraging anyone to go out as the captain.
I hear Seaborn and Archangel leave his room. I sit up, worried they are coming in here. But they leave.
Where the fuck are they going at this hour? Now I’m more fucking annoyed.
I need someone to talk me off the ledge.
Wolfe: You up?
Lovelace: You know I don’t sleep.
Wolfe: I need someone to talk me off the ledge.
Lovelace: Oh god.
I hit the video call button, and he answers a second later, freshly showered, white-blond hair a mess, and shirtless, showing off all his tattoos.
“What’s up?” Lovelace flops on his bed, holding the phone over him.
“Is this phone sex time? This feels like phone sex?” I mock glance around like we’re being watched.
“You called me, motherfucker.”
“Because I need advice, not to stare at your magical pecs.” I pretend to avert my eyes.
“Archangel keeps saying you’re a little gay, I’m starting to believe him.”
Does Archangel say that? I guess he had jokingly, but I’d always laughed it off. Does he really think that? Is he right?
I push it out of my head and flip Lovelace off. “I can recognize when a man is attractive. But I did not call for phone sex!”
“I hope not, that might make things awkward.”
“You think?” I ask.
He stares at me and narrows his eyes.
I narrow my eyes back, not sure what we’re doing here.
“Ridgeway says you’re hooking up with Archangel, and I’m not one to get between two people, especially gay dudes. That’s just dangerous.”
“Does everyone fucking know?”
“I mean… not everyone, but at least a couple of us.”
“Fucking Ridgeway.”
“It’s not his fault. I overheard and basically demanded he tell me.” Lovelace lifts his shoulders, clearly not sorry.
“All of you are a bunch of gossips!” I scrub a hand over my face.
“Whatever, like you aren’t the father of gossip over here, Daddy.”
I gasp, at least a little offended, and even if I can’t fully deny what he’s saying, I will try. “Unfounded claims!”
Lovelace rolls his eyes. “That’s why I don’t tell any of you bitches nothing.”
I think over the statement and outside of the team, I know so little about Lovelace. He really does keep his private life zipped the fuck up. I don’t even think I’ve ever seen him leave a bar with someone. Now I’m just fucking curious, and I’m adding him to my list of get the fucking tea.
“Now I’m on to you.” Not really sure why I’m warning him, but he’ll forget. It’s fine.
“This isn’t about me, bitch. Why did you call?”
“Right.” I tap my temple. “Back on track. I’m calling about my relationship drama, since you’re like the only guy who won’t spread it around.”
Lovelace has always been good about keeping shit to himself. He’s the only other guy I can get deep with on the team, aside from Archangel.
“You gonna tell me what’s really going on?”
I flop over on my side, sprawling out in bed. “We aren’t really dating.”
“No shit.”
“You know?” I’m shocked. “How?”
“Are we being for real?”
“Yes?!” I don’t get it.
“You sure you want the truth, man? Because I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
“Just lay it on me.” I brace for some harsh reality, but I need it.
“Why wouldn’t the whole team know if it were a real thing? Archangel is out as fuck, and you’re not going to beat around the bush. I told Ridgeway it was probably horseshit when he told me.” He has a real god damn point, and it hurts.
“Fuck.”
“So what’s really going on?” Lovelace asks, not unkindly. I know he cares about me and Archangel.
“Promise you’re not going to say anything to Ridgeway or the rest of the team.”
“You know I’m the only damn person on the team who can keep a secret. The rest of you are worse than middle schoolers.” He shakes his head like he’s scolding a bunch of petulant children.
“True.” I explain the whole thing to him about Mark and everything. He knows Steph cheated on me, so none of it should be surprising. Then I get into how shit with my dad went over Thanksgiving.
“Why do you still see that motherfucker?”
“He’s not as bad as my mom.”
“That doesn’t make him a good parent. They’re both shit. Why not cut them both off?”
I look away from the phone, fighting tears. “He’s the only family I have left.”
“You’re fucking wrong about that.”
I blink back the moisture in my eyes and look back at the screen, trying to figure out what he’s getting at. “Huh?”
“You don’t think Archangel is family? Me? The rest of the guys. They all have your fucking back. You are stuck with us. Even fucking Coach Hawke would go to bat for you. We all fucking love you. How much have you taken care of us? You don’t think you deserve that in return.” He stares right at me.
I drape my arm over my face, so he won’t see how fucking red my eyes probably are. “It’s not the same.”
“It’s not the same, it’s better. These are the people choosing you, Wolfe. Blood is bullshit. You deserve so much better than that asshat who calls himself your father.”
I suck in a breath, trying to calm my voice enough to get words out. “What if I’ve fucked it all up with Archangel?”
“Nah, he loves you. Tell him to get his head out of his ass.”
“Do you think we need to call this off?” I ask, not really sure his solution will work.
“It all depends on how you both can handle it. But it seems like neither of you are.”
My heart sinks, and I don’t know why. I don’t want to let go. Is it because Stephanie will know? I’m not sure it’s that, but it feels like failing. I hate it.
“Go talk to Archangel.”
“He’s not here.”
“Where the fuck is he?”
I shrug. “He went somewhere with Seaborn.”
Lovelace frowns. “I’ll call Seaborn. Go to fucking sleep, but talk to him in the morning.”
“Maybe I should wait up?”
“Do you think that’s going to make anything better?”
Another call rings through, and when I glance at the notification, my stomach drops.
“I need to go.”
Lovelace gives me a look, but I hang up.
I don’t answer the call. I never answer her calls.