Chapter Nine Alix
Chapter Nine
Alix
“Tell me, what did you think of last night?” Queen Victoria cracked a spoon against her soft-boiled egg, placed before her in a golden egg cup.
“It was a bit crowded for my taste, but then, Bertie is quite social. And he made such a fuss about guests coming from all over! I don’t mean you two,” she clarified, nodding at Alix and Ernie.
“It just felt excessive, having the Saxe-Meiningens and the Oldenburgs. Not to mention that the King and Queen of Denmark come all the way from Copenhagen!”
Sunlight streamed through the windows, illuminating the paneled oak walls, the rose-colored carpet.
The table was piled with far too much food for three people: sausages and kedgeree and sweet rolls stuffed with raisins.
Alix picked up a blue-and-white Sèvres mug and filled it with coffee, only to pause and study the mug’s motif, a bucolic pattern of frolicking sheep.
It made her think of home, though Darmstadt was more a place of forests and wolves than of shepherds.
She felt a sudden longing to bring Nicholas there, and show him all the places that mattered to her.
The ponds where she used to catch tadpoles, the church where her mother was buried.
The small, familiar corners of the house where she used to hide, and read, and daydream.
“It was quite unnecessary for the tsarina to send Nicholas in her stead,” the queen went on with a huff. “And really, the way he was carrying on with that French girl! She certainly made a spectacle of herself, dancing so many times with him.”
Alix realized that their grandmother was angry on Eddy’s behalf. She felt protective of her grandson, resentful that Hélène had, to all appearances, deserted Eddy and begun flirting shamelessly with Nicholas. Alix found it surprising, and also endearing.
Ernie shot her a look across the table, but Alix merely said “Oh, really?” and took a sip of coffee, as if Nicholas’s name meant nothing to her.
Alix had managed to find Nicholas again later in the evening.
They’d waited until the rest of the guests had started to filter home or were gathered around the baccarat tables, gambling dizzying sums of money.
No one had noticed them slipping into the coatroom for a few precious moments.
They had managed a hurried kiss and several quick I love yous before Alix had reemerged into the party, heart pounding.
“I must say, I’m disappointed in the Orléans girl,” Victoria went on.
She seemed determined to punish Hélène by not using her name.
“As her behavior last night made evident, it is all over between her and Eddy! They were secretly engaged, and then the next thing I knew she had changed her mind—she said that, upon reflection, she couldn’t convert to the Church of England as she’d promised.
” Victoria’s voice shook with anger as she added, “If she thinks the Romanovs will let her remain Catholic, she is quite mistaken!”
“Poor Eddy,” Alix murmured in reply. She’d seen him on the dance floor last night, watching Hélène and Nicholas with a wounded, bewildered expression. Alix wished she could tell him that it was all just a show, but it wasn’t her place.
And really, Hélène was right to keep him in the dark. Tact was not exactly one of Eddy’s best qualities. In his hands, the situation might detonate, letting Hélène’s secret explode into the world. Then he would never get permission to marry her.
“Well, I have made other plans for Eddy,” Victoria went on, in a brisk tone. “No more of this nonsense about foreign princesses. I’ve found him someone much better, someone in our own family—a nice young woman who will do as she’s told.”
For a terrifying instant, Alix thought she was the young woman in question, that she would have to fight off an engagement with Eddy again, the way she had once before. But then the queen smiled.
“I’ve also started making plans for you two. It’s high time you were both engaged.”
Ernie’s fork clattered noisily to his plate. Alix and her grandmother turned to look at him, and he flushed. “Thank you, but I’m in no rush to be wed.”
“What nonsense. You’re the future Duke of Hesse, not to mention my grandson; you can hardly expect to continue as a bachelor indefinitely. When we head to Osborne House for Cowes next month, I expect you to pay court to your cousin Maud.”
“Maud?” Ernie repeated faintly.
“Yes, Maud! You can hardly expect to do better than a daughter of the Prince of Wales. As for you, Alix,” her grandmother continued, “I have a special guest arriving soon. If all goes well, I will invite him to join us at Cowes.”
This was a complication Alix hadn’t foreseen. “Who is it?”
“A German prince I’ve been corresponding with.
His rank, of course, is nowhere near as illustrious as Eddy’s.
He’s not even set to inherit. But he’s a wonderful man, quite intelligent and educated in the law.
” The queen paused before adding, “I see now that you and Eddy would never have worked. You belong with a German prince of steady position, a good-hearted man who will keep you close to home.”
Alix opened her mouth to protest, then shut it again.
“And really, Germany is an excellent place to find a husband. My own dear Albert was from Germany, of course,” Victoria went on. “It is Britain’s natural ally, a country whose roots have been intertwined with ours since King George I came to England from Hanover.”
“Grannie,” Ernie cut in. “As always, you are impossibly generous to Alix and me, but I’m afraid we cannot stay. Our father needs us at home in Darmstadt.”
“Nonsense! I’ve already written to Louis, and he agreed that you two could remain with me all summer.
So I’m afraid we must consider the question as utterly settled.
” Their grandmother leaned back in her chair.
“It’s been some time since I attended the Cowes Regatta.
It will be quite a treat for me to watch the races. ”
By the races, she meant their romantic progress as much as the sailing. If Alix weren’t so irritated, she might almost have laughed. There was nothing her grandmother enjoyed more than a good matchmaking.
That afternoon, Alix and Ernie escaped for a game of croquet on the back lawn so that they could discuss their grandmother’s plans in private.
“I can’t believe they are pretending to court,” Ernie exclaimed, after Alix had explained what Hélène and Nicholas were doing. “It’s brilliant, honestly. Perhaps I should do it with Maud.”
“Why?” Alix asked, and Ernie shrugged.
“To buy myself some time. If Grannie thinks I’m going along with her plans, she’ll ease up on me, and then I can…” He trailed off, flipping the croquet mallet around.
Alix watched him thoughtfully. “Do you think I should do the same?”
“You mean, feign interest in this match she’s made for you?” Ernie nodded. “If nothing else, it will make things easier for you and Nicholas. You can slip away with him, and Grannie will assume you’re with her German man.”
“Alix, darling!” As if on cue, the queen stepped onto the back terrace of Buckingham Palace. “I’d like you to meet someone.”
“She came outside to introduce him personally,” Ernie breathed, with a sidelong glance at Alix. “Be careful. That means she’s serious.”
Forcing a smile, Alix set down her croquet mallet. She could do this. She’d survived a year of being pushed toward Eddy, after all.
Her grandmother swept down the stairs, black lace skirts swishing behind her.
She was accompanied by a man who looked a few years older than Alix.
He wasn’t handsome in the traditional sense; his nose was too prominent, though it was somewhat balanced by a full, dark beard.
And he was exceedingly tall: not as broad-shouldered as Nicholas and his cousin George, but lithe and lean, in a way that reminded Alix of Eddy.
“Alix, I’d like you to meet my dear friend, Maximilian of Baden,” Victoria explained. “Maximilian, my granddaughter Alix of Hesse, and her brother Ernest of Hesse.” Ernie’s introduction came as something of an afterthought.
“Alix, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I was wondering if you’d like to stroll in the gardens?” Maximilian suggested.
Ernie murmured something about accompanying Her Majesty inside, looping an arm chivalrously through their grandmother’s. As he retreated, he shot Alix a look that seemed to say good luck.
“Thank you for walking with me.” Maximilian waited for Alix before he started into the gardens. “I fear that I’ve gone bowlegged from so long in the saddle.”
Alix almost remarked upon the fact that he had ridden here—surely not all the way from Dover? Wherever he’d come from, he must either have been in a hurry, or be a man accustomed to the outdoors. But she simply said, “It’s my pleasure.”
For a while, the only sound was their footsteps crunching over the gravel path. The gardens stretched out before them, camellias and roses spilling out of flower beds.
“You and I have met before, though you probably don’t remember,” Maximilian told her. “At your cousin Wilhelm’s wedding.”
“Oh, really?” Alix didn’t remember much about that wedding; she’d only been ten years old.
“I remember being downstairs when I heard the Crown Princess Victoria raise her voice. I snuck closer to listen.” Maximilian looked amused as he added, “She had caught you and your brother stealing something from the library.”
“I remember! Ernie and I had broken into Aunt Vicky’s glass-fronted cabinets. We were searching for pirate treasure for our game, but I got distracted by a butterfly.”
“A butterfly?” Maximilian asked. “As I seem to recall, your uncle has a wonderful collection of Japanese samurai swords.”
“No, it was a butterfly. I remember thinking that it couldn’t be real, that such a vibrant shade of blue must have been created by a paintbrush.
It reminded me of my mother,” Alix breathed, caught in the strands of memory.
“My father used to call her his butterfly. He didn’t mean it the way most people do; he wasn’t saying that Mother was flighty or social: more that she was delicate, and beautiful, and tirelessly working.
We forget that butterflies aren’t just ornamental,” Alix added, with a glance at Maximilian.
“They are forever on the move, pollinating flowers for us.”
“That’s lovely,” Maximilian said quietly.
“I think of that nickname my father had for her, and I can’t help wondering if he knew that she was ephemeral. That she was too good to be always with us.” Alix paused. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to speak of such sad things when we’ve only just met—”
“Please don’t apologize.”
Alix was startled when Maximilian reached for her arm. He quickly released her and retreated a step, running a hand through his hair.
“I wish more people shared the truth of their feelings, as you just did. Sadness is not something to hide or be ashamed of,” Maximilian insisted.
“As you say, we have only just met, but I can tell that you’re not artificial.
I am weary of dealing with false people, the sorts who turn on their smiles the way one switches on an electric light. ”
It was shockingly similar to what Alix had thought on countless occasions. “I know the people you mean. They are always at crowded parties, asking shallow questions and digging for gossip.”
“Exactly! That’s why I avoid large parties at all costs.”
Alix looked at him in surprise. “Surely you must throw parties at Karlsruhe?”
“Our parties are quite provincial compared to those in London.” Maximilian smiled shyly. “I’m sure Her Majesty would be horrified to learn that my family decorates our own Christmas tree, instead of having servants do it for us.”
“My father used to take us out into the woods to select our tree,” Alix recalled. That was long ago, before her mother died.
“All Christmas trees should be proper German firs, selected from the forest. I hope you hang it with candles and not those odd little ribbons everyone uses here.”
“Oh, yes,” Alix agreed. “We will hang it with candles until the year that we knock one over and burn the whole place down.”
“My thoughts exactly,” Maximilian replied, swallowing back a smile. It made Alix feel guilty. He had been nothing but honest with her; didn’t she owe him the same courtesy?
“Maximilian,” she began awkwardly, “I don’t know what Grandmama said about me….”
Hearing her distress, he slowed his steps. “You do not wish to be courting, do you?”
“I just—I don’t want you to have false hopes when it comes to me. My grandmother keeps trying to interfere in my affairs. She doesn’t understand that I want to marry for love, or not marry at all. Some people might think that’s foolish,” Alix added, a touch defensively. “But it’s how I feel.”
“I don’t think it’s foolish,” Maximilian assured her. “On the contrary, knowing what you want from life is the height of wisdom. If only more people knew what they wanted, the world would be a far better place.”
Alix had no idea what to say to that. No one had ever complimented that part of her—her dreaminess, her romantic nature.
“Rest assured, I won’t court you if you don’t wish it. I’m only here because your grandmother asked me to come. I’m a Prince of Baden, and from the younger branch of the family.” He gave a self-deprecating smile. “I am hardly in a position to refuse a personal invitation from the Queen of England.”
“I understand, but I’m not ready to be courted by anyone.” Meeting his gaze, Alix added, “Would you mind terribly if we were just friends?”
“Friends,” he repeated. “Of course I wouldn’t mind. I would be honored.”
They kept walking, talking occasionally, lapsing into silence when neither of them felt like speaking.
But it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. As they strolled through the verdant gardens, the wind sending little ripples over the surface of the pond, Alix decided that this was not nearly so painful as her and Eddy’s awkward forced courtship.
Things went so much smoother when you were honest with men, instead of hiding your thoughts as society dictated.
And perhaps, Alix admitted to herself, she was more similar to Maximilian than she had ever been to Eddy.
He shared her love of quiet, gave her the space to be herself. And most of all, he had listened, and agreed to be simply a friend.