Chapter Eighteen
As Jane Wickham accompanied Lizzy to the far side of the drawing room, she was filled with roiling anxiety. What had her husband done to her sister?
She had been too anxious about being settled in a house alone with George, and she’d argued with Lizzy until she stayed. If George did something to Lizzy, it was her fault.
Jane could not stand the tension filling her throat. She had already learned that her husband was not a faithful man. He placed no serious importance on the marriage vows.
But she had still sworn before God. She had sworn to love him. She had sworn to obey him, and to serve, honor, and keep him. She would fulfill her oath. She had chosen this path.
“What happened, Lizzy, what happened?”
“Oh, Jane—I…it cannot help you to hear the story. I do not know what I should tell you. It can help you in no way. But I once already made a mistake by not speaking to you.”
Jane exclaimed, “Lord! Lizzy, what did he do to you?”
Elizabeth did not reply, except for a frown.
“Elizabeth, just tell me. I can bear it. Must I help you? What—”
“He did nothing to me. Nothing of note.” Elizabeth said quickly.
Jane took her sister’s hand. “No. Tell me the truth. I beg you, do not be the doctor who refuses to tell their patient that he is dying. I wish to understand the nature of my situation. I do not care that this knowledge is useless. Let me know the truth.”
“Oh, Jane, I am so sorry. I have failed you. I did not take proper care of you.”
“You failed me? How could you have failed to take care of me? I am your older sister, and I am whole in body. It is my duty to care for you—just tell me. What did Mr. Wickham do to you?”
When Elizabeth still hesitated, Jane exclaimed, “I beg you! This uncertainty is worse than anything you might say.”
“He did make an attempt to…that is, he tried to…”
“Elizabeth!” Then Jane let out a breath. “But it was only an attempt? But to do what?”
“I do not know how far he would have taken matters if Fitzwilliam had not arrived,” Elizabeth said softly. “But I am well. Oh, poor Jane. I think I have never been so happy, and yet so tormented and sad. It is not fair! Poor Jane. I wish—I would change my place with you if I could.”
“What do you mean?”
“The housekeeper, Submit Jones, last night I heard—”
“Ah. You heard them as well.” Jane spoke in a calm voice.
Her little sister. Whatever Wickham had done, she had failed as a gentlewoman by keeping her from knowing about the scandalous behavior which people engage in.
“I still can scarce believe it. You also know that he enjoys her company too well. But let nothing more to be said on the subject.”
“Jane, I—I should have…”
“Really, there is nothing to speak of. But I see it meant a great deal to you. He is who he is. He shall never be anything else. I do not think he shall. I have spent a great deal of time thinking about the past. These past few weeks. The way that he—but I shall not speak of that. The nature of my husband does not change my duties. It only can make them more difficult. But I swore to love him. I swore to obey him. I swore to serve, honor and keep him. I will hear nothing unkind about him, for that would not honor him.”
“Jane, it wasn’t the first time that I heard him with her. Four years ago, the first summer after I came to Pemberley, I often walked around the house at night, exploring. I heard them together then. When I remembered, the day before the wedding, I thought to tell you, but then…I didn’t.”
“What?” Jane echoed back weakly. “You—you knew?”
“I thought…it is not important why I didn’t say anything to you. I should have.”
“Damn you.”
Her sister’s mouth fell open in shock.
Jane wanted to scream and scream and scream.
Lizzy then bowed her head.
“I did not say that. I did not mean it. I do not say such things.” Jane spoke woodenly.
“I have no idea.” She laughed weakly. “I do not even know that word. Of course not. I only overheard George say it once. Hahaha. But, of course, I forgive you. Of course I do. I am sure your reasons were very good indeed. I do forgive you. Of course I do. I already said that. Didn’t I?
I cannot quite recall. But of course. Why, there is nothing to forgive, is there? I nearly did not marry him. But…but…”
Her sister’s lips were pressed together. Elizabeth had started crying.
Jane let out a convulsive sob.
She embraced her sister. At first Elizabeth was stiff, but then she leaned into the hug.
“Lizzy, forgive me,” Jane said. “It is not your fault. It is my fault. I have no one to blame but myself. I realized I did not love him. When we kneeled together before everyone in the church. Before I said my vows. I could have stopped the ceremony and walked away. But I felt too much shame and embarrassment to do so—If you’d told me, I would have done the same.
I would have let George tell me a story, and I would have made myself believe it.
It was three years ago? In the year four?
No, no. Lizzy, you must not blame yourself. I was the fool. I was.”
“Jane, I should have told you.”
“Yes, but you should not blame yourself.”
Fitzwilliam came to them from across the room.
George and Mr. Darcy stared at them from near the big mantlepiece.
Fitzwilliam laid a hand on Lizzy’s shoulder in a familiar way. “Have you told her yet?”
“Hardly anything,” Lizzy replied.
Jane laughed weekly. “What more can there be to say? My nerves cannot manage more.”
“I…I shall leave this evening. I will immediately go to Uncle Gardiner in London.”
A small blow but expected. “Yes. You must. You cannot stay with George. Oh, but I shall miss you!”
“I shall miss you as well.”
“My dear, dear sister,” Jane said, and she tightly embraced Lizzy again. “I do so love you. You must write to me, every week.”
“I shall. Twice a week. But, Jane, I…I must tell you.” Elizabeth let out a deep breath.
Jane felt a spasm of cold. “What else is there? What else must I know?”
“It is not unhappy news. It only…Fitzwilliam and I are engaged.” Lizzy flushed and tilted her head to the ground.
Jane could hardly understand the words. It made very little sense to her. There was something confident and proud and happy in Fitzwilliam’s bearing as he took Elizabeth’s hand.
“Jane, when you are married to such a man. I do not mean to…I feel so guilty. I am happy, but I know that you cannot be. And I blame myself. I do. And—”
“You must not.” Jane started to smile. She looked between the two of them.
She had rather thought that Lizzy would never marry.
And now it seemed that she had made a truly exceptional match.
“But truly, you two mean to marry? You do? Lizzy, you are happy—I see you smile at that question. Of course you are happy. It makes good sense. You two have always been such dear friends. Oh, but poor Mr. Darcy, he shall not be happy to hear this. Do you mean to tell your father?”
“I shall not hide it from him,” Fitzwilliam said.
“I would not have told him more about Wickham’s character after he had already once ignored what I said upon the matter, but this is something which…
were I in his place, I would wish to know, even if it made my last weeks less happy.
I shall tell him as soon as Elizabeth has been safely set in her carriage.
The day is already well past noon, so I think we must arrange matters now.
Lizzy, do you wish me to tell Papa, or would you rather say yourself? ”
“Is George still sitting with Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth asked.
“He is.”
Jane threw her arms around Elizabeth. “You are leaving! You are leaving. But you’ll be back in time. But then, oh, but I do not know if we can ever be so close. I suspect that my husband will not like it if we are.”
“You shouldn’t care anything about what he likes,” Elizabeth replied viciously. “You know what his character is.”
“Yes, and you know mine. I swore to honor and obey him, and I shall, and I will not hear him spoken ill of.”
“Oh, Jane. You are what you have always been. Very good, not so suspicious as you ought to be, but you are yourself. I will remember you every night in my prayers and beg God that he allow you to be as happy as you deserve, and it would be impossible to be happier than you deserve—I am ready. I shall now tell Mr. Darcy that I’m leaving. ”
They returned to the huge marble fireplace. Fitzwilliam naturally led Elizabeth by the arm. Her hand was cradled in his.
Dear Lizzy.
Jane was happy for her, and she had none of those unhappy thoughts that her sister had expected to hear at comparing her unfortunate situation to her sister’s happier one.
As soon as they reached the half circle of chairs, and Elizabeth was helped to sit down by Fitzwilliam, she said clearly, “Mr. Darcy, I have decided to live with my uncle in London. I hope that you will not place any barriers in the path of this decision.”
“I see. And this was a decision made this morning?” Mr. Darcy’s voice was tired, and the gentleman studied Wickham’s face, instead of Lizzy’s, as he waited for Lizzy’s reply.
“Not wholly this morning. I had thought to go when Jane was married, rather than going to live with her and Wickham. I sent a letter to my uncle and received his permission to live with him. However, Jane wished to have a friendly face in the house for the first months of her marriage. I decided today to go to London immediately, rather than delaying further. I hope to leave this afternoon.”
There was a long pause.
“I see.” Mr. Darcy looked at his son. “Fitzwilliam, give what orders are needed. I shall send you south in the travel coach. Take Sarah with you on the road, and another one of the women, and…I think Frank from amongst the footmen. Does your uncle keep a manservant?”
“I…I believe so. I am not sure.”