Chapter Seven –
Asleep in a manger…
Christmas Eve.
Ace
Shopping. Any type of shopping I hated. It was Christmas Eve, and I was looking for breakfast fixings for tomorrow morning, which were starting to look desperate. Snacks for the nativity play were completed. I’d just filled a cart of junk and dumped it in my truck after paying for it. Easy peasy, as Phoe would say. However, knowing what my brothers and their families ate, a full English was proving difficult to provide.
It seemed everyone in Rapid City also wanted bacon, sausage, eggs and all the rest of the trimmings, which was damn rude of them. I had over one hundred people to feed, and it was starting to get desperate. Phoe always insisted on a fry-up and pastries. And I couldn’t even find the bake-in-the-oven pastries that Phoe preferred. My phone rang, and I glanced down and saw it was my wife.
“Hey babe,” I said with forced cheer.
“You’re hitting problems with the food, aren’t you? So cocky. I warned you,” Artemis stated without preamble. Damn that woman. She knew me too well.
“I might have to check some other towns,” I admitted.
“Don’t you dare miss the nativity, Ace. I will beat you black and blue,” Artemis threatened.
If any other lady issued that threat, I’d laugh. But my wife could fully keep that promise.
“I’ll be there,” I promised again.
“You better be!” Artemis hung up without another word.
I sighed and leaned against the truck. I had enough for around fifty people, which meant Phoe was going to kill me. Artemis might as well do the job for Phoe.
I’d looked everywhere. And it was a nightmare. I hated crowds, and every single shop was bursting with crowds. Didn’t they have jobs or homes to go to? Our usual butcher had helped me out a lot, but he said Phoe usually ordered well in advance, and he did not have enough. The prospects had warned me to order weeks ago, but I’d ignored them, thinking I knew better. I ran my hand through my hair, ignoring the admiring expressions some woman gave me, and I curled my lip in disgust.
She blanched and scurried away before I realised why. I released a reluctant snicker. I hadn’t been scowling at her but rather at the fact I’d bet my youngest son Lakota that the prospects had a backup plan. They have had for everything else we’d been tasked with. But the hell was I going crawling to prospects to save my ass!
Three hours later… it cost me a marker for each prospect to discover they’d had enough food delivered to feed everyone. The items I’d just purchased were a bonus. I hated those assholes.
I began plotting revenge when I even discovered they had bought carrots and milk to leave out for Santa. Something else I’d had trouble finding!
Drake
I was smiling hard. The kids were all out with the adults, having one hell of a snowball fight. Those who’d got fed up were on toboggans and barrelling down the slope happily. There were huge vats of hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream. Memories were being made—ones I knew would stay with us the longest.
All of my children were home now. Carmine flying in yesterday, and Tye today. Their women came with them.
I was watching Harley with his new girl carefully; she was a firecracker although it was taking her time to come out of her shell. It was hard to believe that three of my kids had already found their person. Their soulmate. It was unexpected and made me feel old for the first time since I’d taken this crazy family on.
It was worth it. The arguments, Dante and Eddie’s war, Jodie and Serenity with their risqué photo shoots, Harley’s attack, learning how to live in the now. Everything was worth it, leading to this moment, which was perfect. My brothers had their women and families, and we had a legacy. Rage had finally built a future, and I would die to protect that for them all.
I settled back against a tree and let it sink in. I wanted to remember this even as an old man.
Phoe
To say I was looking forward to this was an understatement. I’d never missed a school nativity play, and to have the kids do one at home was a special moment. Rock, Texas, Manny, and Slick seemed nervous, but I somehow had hope.
Everyone not taking part was in the ballroom where a small stage had been erected. I sat at the front with the old ladies and smiled as Eddie entered, and then my smile disappeared.
Where was her costume? My scowl deepened as Isla and Elijah appeared wearing normal clothes. Murmurs popped up around me as I shot a look at Rock and Texas. Manny and Slick had vanished.
“Where are their costumes?” Artemis hissed, and I saw Rock and Texas frown.
“They needed costumes?” Texas asked Rock, and I sent them a death stare.
“This is the story of Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus,” Eddie announced, and I turned my attention back to the kids.
“I’m Mary, and I am married to Joseph, and I’m knocked up,” Isla said, and my mouth dropped open. Grace, just behind me, squeaked in shock.
“My name’s Joseph, and I impregnated my wife,” Elijah added, and I closed my eyes.
“But the problem is, I’m a virgin, and I’ve never done the sexy dance with Joseph,” Isla stated.
“No!” Lindsey murmured.
Keme climbed onto the stage. “What Mary doesn’t know is when we were all in the club partying,” Keme shimmied his hips, and Artemis winced. “Is Joseph slipped her a happy pill, which is why she does not remember?”
“I am going to kill you,” Carly’s voice came from behind me as I glimpsed her glaring at Rock, who was looking at Eddie, horrified.
“But Mary’s parents don’t like us being pregnant so young and kicked us out. Now, we’re trying to find a place Mary can give birth in. We don't have a lot of money, so we can’t go to a hospital,” Elijah said.
“But we have our trusty donkey, and he’s going to carry us far,” Isla intoned as Dante rushed on stage with a horse’s head on a stick.
“Game of Thrones?” Casey whispered as Isla stuck the stick between her legs and set off in an enthusiastic canter. Elijah looked startled and chased after her.
“Yo, woman, wait for me!” he called.
“Yo woman?” I gasped. Manny and Slick appeared, looking sheepish.
“The tired travellers and Joseph, who now had blisters because Mary wouldn’t share the donkey, found a barn. It was dry but creepy, with cobwebs and a funny smell. But the baby had decided to come,” Eddie said as Isla dropped the stick and headed for some hay.
I suddenly realised she had a pillow up on her tee and thought she looked adorable. Until she began grunting, and I guessed she was mimicking giving birth.
“As Mary laboured,” Eddie announced, and Isla screamed, ripped the cushion out, and Elijah shoved a baby in her hands, “Three wise men were looking for them!”
“Oh shit,” Autumn muttered as Hawk, Nashoba, and EJ appeared on bikes wearing mini cuts and bandanas. “The wisemen are bikers!”
“We bring gifts. Dude, we got whiskey, ribs, and cake,” EJ said to Elijah, who nodded.
“My lady just gave me a son. He is God’s child and will rule the world. He’s going to need an MC behind him!” Elijah stated.
“Joseph, I don’t want whiskey and ribs,” Isla interrupted, hugging the doll.
“Woman, speak to me like that again, and I’ll cut you off of the good stuff,” Elijah threatened.
Dante high-fived him, and Elijah puffed his chest out.
Squeals erupted.
I couldn’t blame the old ladies. We should have guessed this would be a shit show after everything else.
I closed my eyes as the world’s worst nativity play continued around me.
Drake
“Oh, there’ll be payback. What the fuck were you thinking, letting the kids write the script?” I roared at the four culprits.
Phoe and most of the old ladies had taken over the morning room with several crates of wine.
Texas opened his mouth to argue, and I cut him off.
“Don’t wanna hear it. But there’s going to be revenge. I can’t believe what a disaster this is turning into. The women do this effortlessly. Why can’t we? I know we ain’t used to shit like this, but come on, put some effort into this. We were doing this to make memories; I do not want to imagine the emotional scarring this has left on the old ladies. Mary got rhohypnoled and knocked up!” I spat.
The idiots in front of me had the grace to look shamefaced.
“We’ve got the sleigh rides in a bit. Can you at least manage to do them?” I asked.
The four of them nodded as I caught sight of the prospects.
“Go get in your elf costumes,” I ordered.
“What?” Tye asked.
“The outfits I told you to get,” I snapped, not in the mood for my boys.
“Um, Dad. You said for us to buy costumes. You didn’t order us to purchase elf ones. We’ve all got snowmen costumes,” Cody said, holding my gaze.
I wondered if my head would explode because it felt like it.
“Axel is getting into his Santa costume. Are you telling me that he won’t have fuckin’ elves?” I yelled.
“There are four elf costumes, but they’re not ours, and we’re calling in a marker that we don’t have to dress up as them,” Christian said.
Yup. My head was going to explode until I saw Manny and Slick trying to wriggle out of the room. A wicked smile crossed my face.
“Stay right there. Christian, find Ace, Apache, Gunner, and Lowrider. Those fuckers wanna ruin Christmas? Guess what? I’m the fuckin’ prez,” I snarled.
The prospects all exchanged gleeful glances as I began plotting.
◆◆◆
Ace, Apache, Manny, and Slick were fuming as they dressed in the elf costumes the prospects dropped off. I, however, remained cheerful. Axel would have elves; I didn’t give a shit who they were.
“You better be nice to the kids,” I growled with a heavy warning in my tone. “Once you’ve done half, Gunner, Lowrider, Rock, and Texas will take over from you.”
“We’ve got a problem,” Gunner snapped as he turned.
I looked him over and smirked. “Yup, you have. Tuck it down one leg!” I ordered.
It appeared the costumes consisted of tights, boots, a tunic, and hat. There were no shorts, and everything was hanging out. Or worse, made to look bigger in the tights. And the tunics did not cover their packages.
Consumed with thoughts of revenge, I didn’t consider the other side of the coin and sent them out. Payback was mine; I crowed inwardly.
Ace, Apache, Manny, and Slick - Slick’s POV
“Drake couldn’t see how indecent we looked?” Ace grumbled as he tried to stretch the tights.
“Asshole didn’t care,” Apache complained.
“The women will lynch us,” Manny added.
I couldn’t disagree. We were a disgrace. We could be staring in a porn film. Axel’s Santa home was brightly lit, and Axel waited outside in a thick, warm suit. Much warmer than these costumes.
I heard snickers and turned around and saw the prospects with their snowmen’s heads off. All the fuckers full-on laughed as they caught the front of us.
“Dad couldn’t have seen you!” Cody chortled.
“Oh, he did and still sent us out. Where are the shorts, you assholes?” Ace demanded, looking ready to rip their heads off.
“I didn’t see any shorts,” Christian replied.
“There had to be because we’d get arrested if we wore this in public,” Apache snapped.
“That or mob attacked by women. But nope, I did not see any shorts. Thank fuck we had those markers,” Grey said, smirking.
I wanted to wipe that smirk right off his face but the jingle of bells sounded, and I guessed the first sleigh ride was coming.
The sleigh would make its way through the forest, passing the buildings that had been set up. There were also animatronic scenes to view, and the route was beautiful. Once here, the kids would see Santa, get a present, and when a sleigh arrived to bring someone, they’d jump in and return the same way.
The snowmen took their position, and us elves stood by the door. We all had long beards and pointy ears on, which added to the insult. And we all wore round glasses. Fake hair came from under the hats, which fell to our shoulders. I didn’t imagine the kids would guess who we were easily.
The sleigh contained Rock, Carly, and their family. Drake had ordered those who were taking over from us to go first.
Rock’s eyes popped from his head as Carly’s mouth fell open. Her gaze dropped lower, and her eyes rounded even more.
“Wow,” she managed to say. The children piled out and didn’t seem too bothered except for Bonnie, who looked and blinked.
“Mom…”
“Don’t go there, honey,” Carly said and hurried the kids inside the house. Rock was horrified as he followed her.
“Those are some lucky women,” Carly muttered, gazing at our packages again.
Rock’s scowl darkened as Carly patted him. “And you’re doing this halfway through? I need you to keep that costume. We’re going to get kinky.”
Rock perked up a little, but I don’t think he’d grasped what we four just had. All the women and any old enough kid would be staring at our cocks. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. But… I did wonder if Summer and Irish would like a naughty elf tonight.
Phoe
I huddled in the sleigh with Drake, covered with thick fur blankets, and thoroughly enjoyed the ride through the lit forest. It looked magical. Peyton, Dante, Timmy, and Scout were loving it. It was moments like this that mattered. The Santa village looked amazing as we approached, and I was busy getting the kids organised before we lost a curious fucker somewhere.
When I finally made sure they were all present, the others had followed in the sleighs behind, and I turned to Santa’s home and gaped. The first thing that caught my eye was the huge cocks stuffed into tights. There was no mistaking what they were. The next was a pair of tight-muscled buns, which belonged to Ace.
“Oh no. Tell me you didn’t make them come out here like that,” I whispered, horrified, but that still did not stop me from admiring the scene.
Drake was looking pretty pleased with himself. His brothers looked embarrassed, but Drake hadn’t realised the ramifications.
“Drake, this is indecent, and they’d be arrested in public,” I hissed as we ushered some of the older children in to see Axel.
“What is?”
“All those wonderful large cocks on display and those tight buns. Shit, I want to bite Ace's ass and see if it’s as juicy as it looks,” I said, and Drake stopped mid-step.
He turned to stare at his four brothers, who were glaring at him.
“See that! That’s the reaction we’ve had off any female over the age of twelve,” Apache snarled.
I couldn’t take my eyes off their groins and licked my lips. My fellow old ladies were lucky bitches.
Drake growled, but I was enjoying the view too much. As was Ali-kat, who Blaze was desperately trying to distract.
“I think Blaze needs one of those next year,” Ali-kat said.
“I’m thinking the same,” I agreed.
“What? That Blaze needs one?” Drake yelled.
“No. You do. And I’ll get a naughty elf costume, too,” I replied, my eyes still focussed on the four packages lined up in front of me.
“Where are the damn shorts?” Drake growled. “The picture showed they came with them. Where are they?”
One of the moving snowmen laughed, and we all turned to it.
“Tye!” I warned, knowing my own son’s laughter.
“Honestly, I don’t know. But this is some funny shit. Dad planned to punish them, and instead, he’s the one being punished.”
“True,” I agreed. “But we should do something because of the kids.”
Finally, Jared gave up where the shorts were, and the wonderful images of those groins were hidden away. Although the old ladies insisted on an elf parade, once the children were all in bed. Those who hadn’t seen them felt ever so cheated.
Drake
Surely, someone knew I was missing by now. I reckoned an hour had passed since I’d informed Ace and Phoe that I was coming down the chimney. They’d all been in the music hall for the singsong, which had gone perfectly when I’d snuck out and dressed as Santa.
I had got stuck just a few feet from the bottom. I heard the door open, and somebody enter the drawing room.
“Help!” I yelled.
Silence met me, and then there was a scuffling noise.
“Hey, get some help. I’m stuck up here,” I shouted.
“There’s someone up the chimney,” EJ said.
“EJ, get your dad!” I ordered.
“Shit, Dante, he knows my name. Is that Santa?” EJ asked.
“No! It’s the person in charge of the spy elves. Why would Santa be here so early, and since when would Santa get stuck up a chimney? Nuh-huh, this is the baddie, and I bet he’s come to steal our presents,” Dante replied.
“What do we do?” Nashoba demanded.
“We gotta save Christmas,” Dante said.
A sinking feeling hit my stomach. Considering what my son had done to the elves, I’d a rough idea what he’d do to me.
“Dante Chance Michaelson. Get some adult help right now!” I ordered in a shrill tone.
That shit ignored me, and I heard him ordering the others about.
“Get the wood. Yeah, Mom stacks that and shoves paper in the gaps to make it burn,” Dante was saying.
“Should we get some gas to make sure it burns?” Nashoba asked.
“Don’t you little fuckers dare! Phoe would tan your asses red if you burn down the Hall!” I yelled. “Go get your dads! Dante, if you set that fire, I’ll make your life a living misery.”
“In that case, it’s all the more reason to put the fire on,” Dante replied.
There was rustling and noises below me, and I guessed they were laying a fire. My damn kid was going to cook me alive.
I began to struggle in earnest.
Ace had warned me I was too old to do this shit, and I’d not listened. In a panic, I struggled to get free. I could hear Dante ordering the others to search for matches, and EJ yelled that he’d found some.
My suit tore, and suddenly I fell the last few feet and landed on my ass with my legs out in front of me. Surrounding the fire were the kids and my brothers with the women. They all looked amused.
“You were going to burn me alive,” I snarled at Dante.
“Mom told me to,” Dante replied.
I glared at Phoe, who shrugged. “Needed that after today.”
I opened my mouth to argue and then closed it quickly. Her words were true. Today had been a shitshow. I could only hope tomorrow went better.