Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Please don’t kill me. Please don’t kill me. He followed Allister around the corner of the building.
Allister pointed ahead of them. “There’s something down there I want to ask you about.
” He didn’t sound angry. Perhaps this wasn’t going to be a beating?
But before Trent took another step, he was spun around, his back slammed against the side of the house, knocking the air out of his lungs.
His right arm was wrenched behind his body, the back of his head pressed against the stone wall, and his feet splayed out in front of him.
He was so stunned and off balance, nearly his entire weight was held up by the forearm crushed against his throat, cutting off his ability to draw breath.
He tried to stay calm, but he couldn’t breathe. Allister’s fingers were like a vice around his wrist, and as he struggled, pain flared in his shoulder. Allister didn’t even look flustered.
“If you break her heart,” he said in a low growl, “I will rip yours out of your chest with my bare hands and tear it in two while it’s still beating.”
Finally, the pressure against his throat eased and Trent gasped in a breath.
He couldn’t look anywhere but into the other man’s eyes.
Slowly, he nodded. “Understood,” he croaked, still desperately sucking air into his lungs.
But he didn’t understand. He understood the threat.
But… he didn’t hold Samantha’s heart. Did he?
“Dear God. You naive fool.” Allister helped him to get back on his own feet. “You don’t even know, do you?”
He tried to look at Samantha but couldn’t see her around the building. “I know I shouldn’t have kissed her. I crossed a line, and I’m sorry.”
“Have you taken advantage of her?”
“No!” Trent coughed, his throat still struggling to work properly. “Not that I’d even know how to.”
Allister’s eyes widened in disbelief and he groaned. “Another bloody saint.”
Trent rolled his eyes. “A virgin, yes. A saint, certainly not.”
“You’re all bloody saints. Everyone on Ash’s whole team.”
“I’m not a saint, Allister. Nor am I on Ash’s team. I’m just a bastard whose wealthy brother took pity on him.”
“Is that what you think? You think he gave you the keys to his entire estate, out of pity? You think he put people in your care, out of pity? And you think I would have sent my sister up here because Ash took pity on you?”
“You don’t even know me. You don’t know the things I’ve done.”
“After Auburn Ridge? I wouldn’t make that mistake again.” His voice turned menacing. “I know more about you than you know about yourself.”
Trent pressed himself back against the wall a little more firmly. Suddenly, he could feel the danger that Ash had warned him about.
“Do you love her?”
Trent looked for her again, but she was still hidden from him. “You didn’t send her up here so I could fall in love with her.”
“That isn’t an answer to my question.”
“It is,” Trent argued, pushing himself up a bit straighter. “Because it doesn’t matter.”
“You blind fool. She loves you. It’s as plain as day.”
The words sent a shock through Trent’s body, and his heart stuttered. Stupidly, he turned again, searching her out, but could only see the goddamned house.
“Damnit.” Allister sighed heavily. “Please don’t hurt her. She’s endured so much pain in her life already.”
Trent was still trying to process everything.
Of course he wouldn’t hurt her. Not intentionally at least. But it had never occurred to him that she might care for him.
Or perhaps he’d been so busy pushing down his own feelings, he couldn’t bring himself to see the truth of hers.
“Does that mean you’re giving me your permission to court her? ”
“Court her?” Allister scoffed. “She’s living with you, for God’s sake.”
“You can trust me with her. I didn’t mean for these feelings to happen. In fact, I’ve put forth a colossal effort to ignore them completely… until that kiss. I will do everything in my power to keep from hurting her.”
Allister nodded. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Hopefully, to calm himself. “She’s my sister, and this is something I hoped I’d never have to talk about, but it’s important.”
“I’m listening.”
“Samantha was trained to please men.” He gave Trent a pointed look. “I need you to promise me you won’t let her become that for you. Even a decent man could be pulled right into that inviting trap.”
“I won’t let that happen.” He made the vow to himself even more than to her brother. He would never do that to her. “I swear.”
“This is a sentence I never imagined I’d have to say, and I hate everything about it. If this goes where I think it probably will between you, make her teach you how to please her.” Allister closed his eyes again, as if trying to erase the conversation from his mind.
“I will. Of course I will, but I still think you’re putting the cart before the horse, Allister.
She deserves so much better than me.” The barrage of thoughts swirling through Trent's mind were disorienting.
“But in answer to your earlier question, despite my best efforts to prevent it, I believe I do love her.”
* * *
Samantha sat in the carriage waiting for Trent and her brother.
Would she really come back to this place and do that again?
Probably not. Although it had been extraordinarily cathartic, she wasn’t a violent person.
But the idea that he could spend the rest of his days worrying that she might? That was a small triumph.
And then there was the kiss.
Trent had kissed her. And it wasn’t chaste or gentle. But she hadn’t been afraid. Despite his fervor, she’d felt safe. Protected by his presence, rather than threatened. She trusted him in ways she’d never known were possible. Trusted that no matter how vulnerable she was, he would never hurt her.
And now it was clear that it wasn’t because he didn’t want her. He definitely did.
Simon stepped up into the carriage, drawing her out of her whirlwind of thoughts.
He settled himself in the middle of the seat across from her, forcing Trent to sit beside her.
That was a change from the ride there, when her brother had deliberately taken the space next to her.
He thumped the ceiling, and Brennan urged the horses into motion.
“How are you feeling?” Trent asked.
Her eyelids were heavy and a numb fatigue was settling over her. “Tired, more than anything. I expect it will take me a while to sort through it all.”
He lifted his arm, inviting her to rest her head on his shoulder. But she couldn’t do that. Not that she didn’t want to. She wanted that more than anything right now, to be wrapped in his warm, comforting embrace. Her brother wouldn’t approve, though. But when she looked at him, he simply nodded.
“You should sleep,” he said. “It will be a few hours before we get back.”
Slowly, still expecting her brother to object, she slid closer to Trent and laid her head hesitantly on his shoulder. But Simon didn’t object. Not even as Trent’s arm closed around her. Instead, he leaned his head back and shut his eyes. He was trusting her. And Trent, obviously.
Perhaps she’d proven herself by confronting Norman. He was also saying that he believed Trent was safe. All without a single word.
She looked up into Trent’s eyes, and he smiled tenderly.
“Are you alright?” he asked softly.
She nodded. “I am now.” Turning, she breathed him in deeply. He smelled clean, like the soap he always used before coming down to dinner, and just a hint of the brandy he’d drunk before they left. His warmth surrounded her like a cocoon. This must be what it felt like to be safe.
His hand rubbing gently over her arm woke her a few hours later. It was like heaven waking up in his embrace. He’d held her all the way back to Woodburn Hall.
“Would you like to go up to your room and rest for a while?”
She sat up and stretched her arms over her head. “I’ve just had a rest.”
“Well, not much of one.”
“And what about you?”
“Hopefully, I’ve made it back in time to carry Maggie down for breakfast. I promised her I’d eat with her this morning.”
She rolled her eyes. “You don’t know how to rest, do you?”
He merely shrugged.
“May I join you?” she asked.
“This is your home. You are always welcome.” He looked at Simon. “And of course, you’re invited to join us, as well.”
“I’d be grateful for a good meal. And I can’t leave until after Maggie shows me her pony.”
Trent chuckled. “You don’t have to indulge her, you know.”
“He might seem stern and intimidating,” Samantha said softly, “but deep down, he’s actually sweet. He never tired of finding ways to make me laugh when I was a little girl.”
Simon groaned. “You didn’t tell him the horse story, did you?”
She couldn’t control her burst of laughter. “Well I hadn’t, but I expect I’ll have to now.”
“As long as I can continue to hear you laugh, you can tell him anything you’d like. Even my most embarrassing secrets.”
Once inside, Samantha settled next to Simon at the dining table while Trent went up to fetch Maggie.
A footman came to stand behind them. “Would you like tea or coffee, sir?”
Simon looked at the footman over his shoulder. “Coffee please.”
“You’re being spoiled up here,” he whispered into Samantha’s ear.
“I am,” she said, taking a sip of the tea that had been deposited in front of her.
“You deserve it.”
He sipped his coffee and closed his eyes with a groan. “Oh, that’s good,” he said to no one in particular, making her giggle.
She leaned her head against his shoulder. “Thank you, Simon.”
Every time she laughed throughout the meal, which was often with Maggie around, Simon looked at her with the same grateful smile. She hadn’t realized before, but he’d also been damaged by what she’d been through.
After breakfast, they all walked out to the stables to see Ashley. Heavy clouds had rolled in, and the temperature was chilly. Summer would soon be coming to an end.
As they approached the stables, Maggie turned toward Simon with her finger over her lips and whispered, “We have to be quiet around the horses.”
“Oh,” he whispered back. “Thank you for teaching me.” He offered his hand and Maggie wrapped hers around his index finger, pulling him along.
He was so good with children. Hopefully one day he’d have his own.
She’d love to have nieces and nephews to give her love to.
Especially since she would never have any children of her own.
When they eventually made their way back to the house, a carriage was being readied for her brother.
“Are you sure you have to leave? Wouldn’t you like to get at least one night of good sleep first?”
“I can sleep on the train,” he said with a shrug.
He placed his hands on her shoulders. “As much as I’d love to stay and witness more of your astonishing progress, I need to get back.
But you know where to find me if you need me.
Perhaps I’ll stop in on my way up to collect Madelene in a week or so. ”
“I’d like that.”
He wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. “Take care of yourself, Samantha. I’m so incredibly proud of you.”
As the carriage rolled down the drive away from them, Maggie waved from Trent’s arms. “Goodbye, Mr. Allister!”
Trent reached down with his other hand and squeezed hers to offer his comfort.
Everything in the little picture was perfect, except that it wasn’t as it appeared.
Her heart thought it was. It longed for this to be her life, for Trent and Maggie to be her family.
But they weren’t. And they never would be.
She wasn’t fit to be his wife. But was it wrong of her to want it?
Was it wrong of her to pretend, for as long as they would allow her to stay here?
They gave her the strength to grow, and to overcome her past. Perhaps, if she pretended long enough, she could eventually have enough strength to survive losing them.