Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Trent buttoned his top as he hurried down the hall.
Noises continued to issue from Ash’s room as he approached.
He opened the door quietly and slipped inside.
The curtains were open, and the moon provided enough light to see the layout of the room.
Ash thrashed on the bed, mumbling and whimpering.
It was heartbreaking to see his stalwart brother tormented by whatever was happening in his dreams.
“Ash,” he said quietly. He didn’t want to scare him, but there was no response. He stared down at him. What was he supposed to do? He repeated his name a little louder, but still nothing.
Finally, he pressed his hand against Ash’s chest. “Ash!”
With a gasp, Ash’s eyes flew open. He looked around, trying to orient himself. After a minute, he blew out a long breath.
“What did I say about climbing into bed with me?”
Trent laughed and shook his head. “Are you alright?”
“Of course I am.” He sighed and sat up on the side of the bed rubbing his face. Apparently, he did own pajamas. Black, just like everything else he wore. “Pour us some brandy.” He waved his hand toward the bottle across the room.
When Trent returned with their drinks, Ash was just slipping on his robe.
He tied it shut and reached for the glass, downing half of it in one swallow.
The liquid rippled with the shaking of his hand.
It was hard to see his brother so upset, even if he did pretend like everything was fine.
Ash breathed in slowly, trying to calm himself, then gestured to the chairs.
“Should I light a lamp?” Trent asked.
Ash shrugged and sat down. “Whatever you want.”
Trent lit one lamp so he could at least see Ash's face. He settled into the other chair, feeling a bit guilty. Ash wouldn’t be here suffering with these nightmares if it weren’t for him.
“I’m sorry,” Ash said. “I didn’t mean to wake the house.”
“You didn’t. I was already awake.”
“Well, you should get back to her then.”
“I think I’ll sit here and enjoy my brandy, if you don’t mind.”
A long silence filled the room before Ash finally spoke again. “Thank you. I really thought, with you and Maggie, and all the changes that have happened here, all the life that’s been brought into this house, he would cease to torment me.” He took another sip of his brandy. “No such luck.”
“Perhaps this room needs some changes. New furniture, new carpets and curtains, different colors on the bed and walls. I’d be happy to see that done.”
“I’m not sure why I never thought of that. I guess I just never imagined I’d be visiting. But perhaps I will be, now that you’re here.”
“I do appreciate you coming, Ash. It’s been nice spending time with you. Getting to know you a bit better.”
“It has been nice,” he agreed. “I need to get back, though. It probably sounds silly, but I miss it all, and especially Gwen.”
“It doesn’t sound silly at all. Why didn’t she accompany you?”
“Two new ladies came in this week, so she’s making sure they’re settled.”
“You’ll never run out of people who need you.”
“Sadly, you’re right. If only I could help them all.”
“Will you come back up if I get married?”
“Did she say yes?”
“Not yet. But I think, with a little time, she might.” He couldn’t help the smile that turned up his lips.
“Well, when you’re ready, I will stand by your side. But my brother is not getting married up here. You’ll have a wedding in Raven Row. You’ll sit at the head of the table in The Raven’s Den, and the rest of my family will celebrate with you.”
Trent never imagined he’d have any of this, and certainly not family who cared about him. “If you’re not careful, I’m going to hug you again.”
Ash chuckled and downed the last of his brandy. “You’d best get some sleep, little brother.”
As much as he wanted to return to Samantha’s bed, it was better if he didn’t. But then he heard crying from Maggie's room. When he opened her door, she was sitting atop her bed, sobbing. Not her too.
“Did you have a bad dream, Little Mouse?”
She nodded her whole body, rubbing her fisted hands against her face.
“Come here.” He picked her up. “I think I know just the person you need.” He carried her down the hall and tapped on Ash’s door before entering.
“Uncle Ash!” she wailed, as she reached for him.
Ash wrapped her in his embrace. “It’s alright, Poppet. Did you have a scary dream?”
“Yes.” Her breathing was jerky as she tried to calm herself.
“Uncle Ash won’t let anything hurt you.”
“May I sleep in your bed?”
“Of course you may. You can protect me from my bad dreams too.”
“I will,” she said with a sad determination.
Ash looked at him and mouthed the words, “Thank you.”
She would miss Ash after he left tomorrow. They both would. They might have to start taking regular trips down to visit him.
Trent sighed as he finally settled into bed. His mind was busy, but exhaustion dragged him straight into sleep, and when next he opened his eyes, sun was just creeping around the curtains. Early enough that he could actually enjoy a few minutes in the bath.
After that, his first stop was Ash’s room. They were both still asleep, Maggie’s head resting on his shoulder, his arm wrapped protectively around her.
He closed the door quietly and walked down to Samantha’s room. She was sitting at her writing desk, drawing in her sketchbook. That couldn’t be good.
“Are you alright?”
Her radiant smile surprised him. “I’m wonderful.”
He moved closer. It was his face on the page.
“I thought it was time to sketch people who bring me joy. And pleasure,” she added quietly. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and pink filled her cheeks.
“I think that’s a fantastic idea.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips. “You are beautiful, Samantha.”
“Even with this short hair?” She ruffled her fingers through it.
“Especially with short hair. It reminds me how strong you are.”
“That’s unfortunate. I was going to ask you to carry me down to breakfast, for old time’s sake.” She goaded him with her smile but squealed when he scooped her up. “I was only teasing!”
Trent laughed as he carried her out of the room and down the stairs. Her cheeks flamed red as they waited for the footman to pull out her chair.
“Don’t move,” he whispered in her ear. “I’ll fill your plate for you.”
It wasn’t long before Ash entered, Maggie giggling in his arms. He put her down and dished both of their plates, asking her if she wanted each item on the sideboard.
“What time is your train?” Trent asked once they were settled.
“Are you leaving?” Samantha asked.
“I am. It’s time for me to get back. I’ll leave shortly after breakfast.”
Maggie gasped, her brow furrowed. “I want to go with you.”
Ash leaned close and spoke softly. “If you come with me, who will take care of Samantha?”
Maggie nodded. “You’re right. I’d better stay here.” But she didn’t look very happy.
“I’ll see you again soon, Poppet.”
“Perhaps we can go see him off at the train station,” Trent suggested.
That made her brighten up. “Yes!”
An hour later, sadness settled over Trent as they walked onto the platform. He’d miss his brother, as strange as that was. He’d thoroughly enjoyed his company.
Ash wrapped Maggie in a tight hug and she giggled as he spun in a circle. “I asked the cook to make you some of our favorite lemon seed cakes, so they’ll be waiting for you when you get home.”
“Yay!”
He handed her to Trent and held an arm out to his side. Samantha stepped into it and rested her head against his shoulder. She’d come so far. “Thank you, Ash. For everything.”
“You’re welcome, Samantha. Your brother and I are both incredibly proud of you.”
She pressed her lips together as tears filled her eyes. Ash gave her another squeeze. She stepped away from him and reached for Maggie.
Trent held out his hand to shake Ash’s, but he raised a brow. “Have you decided you’re not a hugger after all?”
“I was afraid it might be unseemly in public.”
“We can risk it.” Ash grabbed his shoulder and pulled him in.
“Thank you, Ash. It hardly seems sufficient, but thank you.”
Ash clapped him on the back. “Take care of yourself, little brother. I hope I’ll see you soon.”
Trent lifted Maggie onto his shoulder to watch as Ash boarded the train. As they waited for it to depart, Samantha sidled up next to him and slipped her hand into his.
The whistle blew, and within a few minutes, it was gone. But for a moment, they just stood. A woman who’d been seeing off her son turned and smiled at them. “You’ve such a beautiful family.”
The words warmed his heart. Samantha stared at the woman, stunned into silence, perhaps.
“Thank you,” Trent said.
“Thank you!” Maggie repeated, wiggling on his shoulder, and the woman laughed.
Trent looked at Samantha and raised a brow. She swatted his arm, and he laughed as he escorted her from the platform.
* * *
You’ve such a beautiful family. Samantha couldn’t stop hearing the words.
When they got back to the house, Trent had work to see to, and Maggie went with Mrs. Baird.
Samantha went in search of Benson. She needed his wisdom.
She eventually found him in Trent’s room, putting something away in the armoire.
He held a finger to his lips. “Don’t tell him. I don’t think he’s realized yet that I’ve been cleaning his shoes for him.”
Samantha laughed. “He’s lucky to have you, Benson.”
“What can I do for you, Miss Allister?”
“I was hoping we might share a cup of tea.”
“You name the location, and I’ll meet you there with a tray.”
“It might not be the proper thing, but would you mind if we sat in my room? I’d rather no one else hears what I need to speak about.”
“I’ll be there in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.”
When he entered a few minutes later, he was carrying a tea tray. “I got us each two pieces of that lemon cake I’ve been smelling all day.” He poured her a cup, drizzled in some honey, deposited a piece of cake on the saucer and handed it to her.
“Apparently, I’m lucky to have you too.” She breathed in the steam from her tea before taking a sip.
He settled himself into the other chair and took a bite of cake. He hummed his appreciation as he chewed. “Now,” he said, wiping his hands on his napkin. “What’s on your mind?”
“Trent,” she said with a shrug. “He says he loves me.”
“And you don’t believe him?”
“I do believe him. That’s the trouble.”
“You don’t love him in return?”
“If only that were the case, it would be easy.” She looked into Benson’s eyes. “I can’t give him children. You’ve seen him with Maggie. He needs to be a father, and if I take that from him, he’ll resent me for it one day.”
“He already is a father. Maggie may technically be his sister, but he’s every bit a father to her.”
“But what about children of his own, of his blood?”
Benson shrugged. “That’s never guaranteed, no matter who he marries. Besides, he’s never shown a lot of interest in any of that. Have you asked him about it?”
She nodded. “He says it doesn’t matter.”
“Do you not trust him to know his own mind?”
“But what if he changes his mind?”
“He may be young in years, but he has the wherewithal and the wisdom of someone twice his age. And if I may say so without being impertinent, it’s obvious he cares for you, deeply. As does our young Maggie.”
“A woman on the train platform said we’re a beautiful family.” Tears filled her eyes. “But what if I’m not deserving of them?”
Benson placed his dishes on the table and moved closer so he could take her hand. “You’re not the one who makes that decision. They are. And they very clearly think you are deserving.” He squeezed her hand. “For what it’s worth, I care about you too. I’ll be overjoyed if you decide to stay.”
And with that phrase, suddenly, her choice was clear. Not only would leaving break her heart, but it would break theirs too, because they did love her.