Chapter 8
On a normal day, I’d say I could back down the steep trail of my driveway blindfolded.
But today, the fog is so thick and soupy now that I can barely see the Subaru parked in my driveway.
The trees, usually such a towering presence around the house, have disappeared.
I could be floating on an island in the middle of the ocean.
It’s beautiful, in a don’t-leave-the-house-and-stay-under-the-covers-with-a-good-book kind of way.
The drive into town is going to be brutal—all those narrow winding roads?
I’m a decent driver, but a visibility of near zero means everyone on the road right now, including myself, is a potential hazard.
It takes me ten minutes to get to the main road.
I can see maybe a car length and a half in front of me, but that’s it.
It’s like pushing through the fluff of a giant stuffed animal.
At the stop sign, I flash my hazards and signal to make the turn towards town but my foot stays pressed against the brake.
I should just stay home. Only an idiot would want to buy a book in this weather.
But the trash--all the food leftover from the event last night.
If I don’t go in to the store, ants would be the least of my problems. A couple of storefronts away from Pages is Silvercreek Realty, and last year, someone left a birthday cake in the break room over the weekend.
The next Monday, a black bear greeted them at the door covered in frosting.
Taking a deep, steadying breath, I make the turn into town.
Thankfully, the roads are mostly empty at this early hour.
Still, I’m white-knuckling through the canyon’s twists and turns, going fifteen miles per hour and holding my breath with every bend in the road.
My phone rings, but I ignore it. Then it rings again.
And again. My heart jumps into my chest after the third call.
I pull off the road when I reach a turn out and grab for the phone in my bag.
Three missed calls from Jo plus a slew of texts:
CALL ME.
PAIGE CALL ME.
Andy is hurt headed to the hospital in an ambulance
Meet us there if you can. I need you to be with kody.
DRIVE SAFE!!!!!
I call Jo but it goes straight to voicemail.
The hospital is in Meadow Green, the next town over.
It would take me at least 40 minutes to get there on a normal day.
A morning like this though—who knows how long?
I hate to think of Jo dealing with this alone.
My heart pounds in my chest, my fingers and toes start to tingle, and I’m surfing the edge of a panic attack.
Calm down. Relax your shoulders. Breathe in. Hold it. Slow breath out.
After a few minutes, I feel like I’m back in control of my body and steady enough to take the wheel again.
By the time I enter town, the fog has lifted enough for me make out a few details of the buildings on either side of the road, so I feel safer increasing my speed to more than a snail’s pace.
Then, about thirty minutes into the journey, the car in front of me starts pumping their breaks before coming to a complete stop.
The sky ahead is tinged red from the glow of brake lights.
I glance at my phone for the millionth time, but Jo still hasn’t called or texted me back.
My mind hasn’t stopping coming up with possible scenarios of what could have happened, each one more terrible than the last. The cars in front of me still haven’t moved, but the fog has thinned out enough that I can see the line of cars stretches as far as I can see. What the hell is going on?
My phone rings. The words ‘Cowboy Hat Demon Horse’ scroll across my screen and I answer.
“Shayne? Do you know what happened with Jo?” My voice shakes with adrenaline.
“Jo’s at the hospital and doesn’t have great reception, so she asked me to call you. She’s worried about you texting and driving.” I can’t help but shake my head. Even in a crisis, Jo holds on to that selfless concern for others. I don’t deserve her.
“Andy’s in surgery. He—” Shayne pauses for a moment and I’m worried I’ve lost reception but then he continues, “There was an accident early this morning at the barn.”
“An accident? What do you mean?”
“I don’t have all the details. Jo just wanted me to get a hold of you.”
“Right, well thank you for calling. I’ve been worried sick. I’m stuck in some sort of traffic hold up, but I’m not far. Let Jo know I’ll be there soon if you hear back from her.”
“Will do,” he says, hanging up. Brusque and to the point. I shouldn’t expect much, given the circumstances, but I can’t help but feel like he was holding something back.
The cars in front of me finally seem to be moving.
The line lurches forward in an achingly slow stop-and-go, but at least we’re moving.
I finally arrive at the hospital just before 8:00am.
I find Jo sitting with a sleeping Kody lying across her lap in the ER waiting room.
Her head rests against the wall, her eyes closed.
Her beautiful face is tear streaked, and there are dark circles beneath her eyes.
My heart breaks further at the sight of her.
“Jo,” I say, laying my hand on her arm gently. Her eyes flash open, panicked and bloodshot. When she sees it’s me, her eyes fill with tears, so I sit beside her and put my arms around her shaking shoulders.
Paige, I almost lost him,” she says, her voice a pained whisper in my ear. She pulls back from me and wipes her eyes against the sleeve of her sweatshirt.
“What happened?”
“I don’t really know. I think something happened at the barn with one of the new stallions.
Oh god Paige, he was so broken and bleeding.
” A sob escapes her lips and I wrap my arm around her even tighter.
“ We had a fight last night, so he slept in the guest room. Paige…I feel so terrible. This is all my fault.”
“How could this be your fault?”
“The last thing I said to him was ‘If you disappeared, my life would be so much easier.’” Jo says, her voice shaking. “Who says that to their husband?”
“We all say shit we don’t mean when we’re angry,” I tell her, reaching up so I can push her hair back away from her face.
“I meant it, though. We haven’t fought like this in ages.
It was like it was in high school, both of us trying to cut the other down.
I wanted him gone—but not dead, obviously.
I don’t know what to do, Paige.” Fresh tears fall down her face, and there’s nothing I can think of to say that will make this better, so I just squeeze her hand and wish there was a way to absorb some of the pain she is feeling.
“We got a letter in the mail yesterday. It was addressed to Andy, no return address or anything, just a card with his name on it. I didn’t think much of it, so I just left it on the kitchen counter for him to open.
When I got home from the bookstore last night, I saw the card in the trash, and I read it.
” Kody shifts on her lap, and Jo pauses to readjust her.
Once Kody is settled, Jo continues, her voice now a hushed whisper.
“It said ‘You’re running out of time. Confess now, or I will.’”
“Confess what?” I ask, dumbly.
“I have no clue! I thought it was some kind of joke. But when I asked him about it, I could see that he was scared. He tried to play it off like it was nothing, but he wouldn’t look me in the eye. He kept deflecting and then he called me out of line and I lost it.”
“What happened next?”
“We fought. Both of us said awful things.” Jo leans her head into her hand.
“I had thought things between us were good…But obviously so much has been going unsaid. All it took was one stupid letter for everything to boil over.” Jo pauses for a moment, and my mind starts spinning with a million questions—what was going unsaid?
How were things not good? What is she talking about?
Ever since they got back together, I’ve barely witnessed an argument, let alone a fight.
Jo might complain occasionally about Andy leaving his boots around the house, but that’s it!
I feel like my world has turned upside down.
“Paige, how can I fix this?” Jo asks, her voice so quiet I can barely hear her. “I can’t have the last words I said to him be so awful. What if he doesn’t wake up?”
I put my arm around her shoulder. Everything feels surreal.
I pinch my thigh just to make sure I’m not actually still in bed having a nightmare.
Please, let me open my eyes and find out that everything is back to normal.
My friends are happily married. No one is in emergency surgery.
I’ll stay a lonely hermit in the woods forever if I can just wake up.
“You’ll figure it out. I’m sure there’s some explanation.”
Jo looks up at me then, her nose red from crying, fresh tears streaking down her cheeks.
“I asked him if he was having an affair. He said ‘no, of course not.’ How could I ever suspect him of cheating when his entire life is devoted to making Kody and me happy? He does so much for our family, how could I ever question his loyalty? I mean God, our history—it’s not perfect, but we were young and dumb, and now that we’ve had our second chance, everything has been different.
I trusted him. But it was there in his eyes, Paige—he’s hiding something. ”
“This is Andy we’re talking about. The man who would tattoo your face on his body if you let him.
I can imagine a lot of things, but an affair?
He’s been obsessed with you his entire life.
” I keep my voice to a whisper so as not to wake Kody.
How is this happening? I was stressed about leaving cake out for bears just a couple of hours ago, and now I’m sitting in a hospital while my best friend’s entire world is falling apart.